This post is in collaboration with the Etsy store: Dinky
Designs who created the board of You’re
NOT Disordered’s front cover that is featured below. In celebration of You’re
NOT Disordered’s cover release, they’ve kindly created a 20% discount code for any
of their products, just type the below in at the checkout:
YND20
So, for well
over a year now, I’ve been working on a new book; You’re NOT Disordered: The
Ultimate Wellbeing Guide for Bloggers (I revealed the title here). I actually
originally had the idea way back before I published my first book: Everything
Disordered (which you can buy here) in 2021,
but I decided to work on the brainwave for that one first! So, it feels like
You’re NOT Disordered has been a long time coming and that has become especially
true since having to push back the publication date this year from the original
date of April 20th to November 18th due to my mental
health relapse and hospital admission in February (you can read more about that
decision here). So, this
post just in itself actually feels like it’s been in the works for forever too
because since the moment I felt content with the cover design (a good few
months ago now), I wanted to reveal it to you all!
Eventually, it’s here though; the cover (on a board which you can buy here from Dinky Designs) and a little chat on why your thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter so much to me…
I’ve learnt a hell of a lot in my blogging career, but one of the
most important – and relevant here – is around the importance of showing
gratitude. I’m definitely someone who believes in the saying ‘credit where
credit’s due;’ and I think that a huge reason for finding this true, is that both
my blog and my life in general are very much centred around mental health and –
let’s be honest – it’s one of the largest areas where some of the most hugely
life-changing errors and failures – but also successes and achievements – occur.
When I helped to provide mental health training for the new recruits in my local Police force, I often said to them that they need to recognise that they have the potential to talk someone back from the edge, or to give them more reason to jump (not always literally though). And I used to experience that when I was first poorly and the Crisis Team were absolutely horrible, and I would be so reluctant and terrified to ring them because I was so worried that they would actually just end up making me feel even worse. I remember calling them once when I was about to make a suicide attempt and telling them that I needed someone to talk me out of it because I didn’t want to do it – I was only about to because the hallucinations were berating me and telling me to do it. And in the end, they gave me more reason to go ahead with it… I nearly lost my life and ended up on life support.
That hospitalisation though – waking up in Intensive Care… It was
the catalyst for my Community Mental Health Team to panic and apply for urgent
funding to admit me to a medium secure, specialist psychiatric hospital over
100 miles away from home for two and a half years and that admission very
obviously and honestly, truly saved my life. Before it – before the life
support – I was self-harming almost daily and around four times a week I was
engaging in self-harming behaviours that could have led to my death (I wouldn’t
label them as suicide attempts though because I wasn’t doing them with that
intention, thought, or feeling). My records showed in the three years from the
first time I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act in 2009 to the beginning
of this lengthy admission in 2012, I had been hospitalised over 60 times. And
if I hadn’t been transferred to that specialist hospital, why would anything
have ever changed? I would’ve continued to do the things I was doing, and the
chances are I would’ve ended up dead – intentionally or not.
Whilst I’m so grateful for having my admission funded and for all
of the help and support, I was provided in that hospital; it was difficult to
always be grateful for it because part of me resented my local NHS Trust for
not facilitating adequate help and care (there were literally no specialist
services for someone with a diagnosis of a Personality Disorder in my locality)
that would have meant only being able to see my Mum occasionally and when
permitted by the staff, my friendships wouldn’t have been as affected as they
were due to the distance and how long I was at that distance for… But then, if
I’d been able to communicate with my friends and family as easily as usual, I
might not have created I’m NOT Disordered and started blogging (my very first
initial motivation was to use my blog as a means of more effectively
communicating about my mental health with my loved ones). And if I didn’t have
my blog… I don’t know where I’d be.
So, you see; it’s so difficult to figure out gratitude and resentment
in mental health because it often feels as though every single time you say,
“thank you,” there’s a whole host of mistakes and failures; and that’s when it
becomes about weighing up how powerful and important each step is. I mean, does
it matter so much that I was away from home for so long when, ultimately, it
saved my life, gave me my blog, and made me into the person that I’m proud to
be today?! And so, it can become all about balance – about saying “thank you
for that,” but also “you could’ve done this better.”
In my work with my local Police force, I became even more aware of
the number of complaints they receive – particularly to do with mental health callouts…
And after having to put in a few of my own, I came to the realisation and
recognition that people are generally far more likely to report a fault than
they are to acknowledge a success. This is something which I’m personally aware
of doing and so a long time ago, I made the conscious decision to be more
mindful of this and to follow the saying I mentioned earlier: ‘credit where
credit’s due.’ So, I try to be equal and recognise if there’s a situation that I’m
grateful for then I’ll talk about it just as honestly and openly as I would if
I had experienced something negative. It’s important to know that these two
different opinions can be just as important for others to receive knowledge of.
In the case of complaint there’s very obviously a learning opportunity to
correct something, vow not to do something again, put preventative measures in
place, improve training, and genuinely just apologise for any wrongdoing
(which, I recognise, doesn’t happen a lot – especially in mental health). With
compliments and messages of gratitude, they can provide others with the insight
into what is helpful, what they should be doing more of, and making moves to
ensure that this behaviour or attitude is encouraged.
Now, the way this all feels relevant here, is that a lot of people
will very quickly and almost automatically bad mouth social media and the
digital world in general – online bullying is (rightly so) mentioned regularly
in the news and more recently, there’s a lot of publicity on trending
‘challenges’ that are so influential but have ended up proving to be incredibly
dangerous too. Yet is there an equal amount of publicity on positive elements
to this industry/world? Is there ever any real talk or media coverage of when
social media has proven to me supportive, helpful, useful, and positively
life-changing?
And that’s what I hope that this new Guide illustrate – my recognition
of how beneficial blogging has been! I hope that it encourages more and more
people to join the blogging industry or to become fond of social media, because
they know that they’ll have this Guide to provide them with a whole host of wellbeing
advice on anything (the good and the bad) that might come from being involved
in the digital world. I hope that in interacting online more, others find
improvement in their mental health and general wellbeing because my own has benefited
so much.
I sincerely hope that you like the Guide’s cover and please don’t forget about the discount code!!
