positive, I think, people get from reading I’m NOT Disordered is a feeling of
comfort. A reduction in thoughts of loneliness; confirmation that it is not only
yourself feeling the way you or having the thoughts that you may have. I’ve
found that feeling alone can be a huge catalyst to thoughts of self-harm and
one problem now is that I’m in recovery!
rarely have dark moments and if I do then there is never thoughts of suicide; occasionally
thoughts of self-harm, but never to die. The only real ‘comfort’ I can provide
is that once upon a time, I went through these things. I self-harmed many
times. I attempted suicide many times. I was sectioned, hospitalised, and put
through intense therapies to find myself in recovery.
I talk about the struggles, it’s in the past tense. For those who may find this
less helpful… It goes without saying that I’ve gotten to know lots of people
from inpatient services and, inevitably, some of these people are still in a
bad place. When one of these friends, Nadine Appleby published a poem on her
Facebook page, I immediately asked if I could publish it on I’m NOT Disordered.
hope that it brings comfort to some, and enlightenment to others…
2. an exciting, emotional, or unexpected event or circumstance.
"a hostage drama"
an understatement to say that while I was being abused, my behaviour changed dramatically - I think it’s an obvious
one though… Keeping abuse a secret can cause a lot of conflicting thoughts and
feelings; a lot of pent up anger and frustration.
me, I was angry that no one could see what was going on. How could no one see
beyond my actions? My behaviour? It was labelled ‘dramatic.’ I, was labelled a
‘drama queen.’ Since then if anyone has called me that in jest or in banter
then I’ve thought straight back to that bullying in High School while I was
abused. Back to when I took my anger out on the teachers who were meant to have
the authority to stop this sort of thing. On everyone in the one place that is
meant to be safe for children and young people.