The moment something bad happens to you, you’ll forever have a choice: do you tell someone or don’t you? And I don’t just mean do you report abuse to the Police or do you see a Doctor if you’re in a car accident. I mean, do you tell your parents what happened? Do you tell the teachers at School? Do you tell your friends?
My reluctance to report the abuse I went through made the choice a little easier for me; why would I tell anyone with the threats he made and the worries of judgement I held? He told me that people wouldn’t believe me, that they’d think I was making it up for attention or as an excuse for my bad behavior (which was, in fact, a result of the abuse). I also knew that as soon as people knew what had happened, they’d have a choice to make; his side or mine. I’d make the ‘allegations’ and he’d make a denial; so, who would they believe? And even if they thought it was true – even if they were on my side – what if they thought I’d deserved it? What if they told the Police before I was ready to tell them – I wouldn’t have a choice! Telling someone opened so many unanswerable questions that I wouldn’t know the answers to, unless I took the risk and ‘spilled the beans.’