“Certain things leave you in your life and certain things stay with you. And that’s why we’re all interested in movies – those ones what make you feel; you still think about.”

Tim Burton

So, according to my blog post archive, it’s been quite a while since I’ve published a post from this kind of angle and in collaboration with the wonderful Netflix UK. I think people talk a lot about music and how song lyrics can be really relatable and therefore comforting in some ways, but there’s not a whole lot about movies or series’ affecting our mental health…

“If you’re going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, you’re not the girl I thought you were!”

Professor Stromwell

One of the most common comments I’ve heard when talking about the abuse and suicide has been something along the lines of; “but then he would win!” From Day One, that comment has never been helpful for my mental health and suicidal thoughts and feelings; but the more I’ve had it said to me, the more it’s starting to grate on me. It now feels like a bit of a token gesture – as though people are saying it out of habit; like they believe it’s something they should say. My conviction that all those who have made this comment do genuinely believe – or at least they hope – that it’s helpful, means I tend to not bite their heads off when they say it (even though I’m really tempted to!)!


To bring you something a bit different, with very little mention of mental health(!), I’ve teamed up with Edinburgh Bus Tours to bring to you this piece about my greatest recommendations for a trip to Edinburgh, Scotland…

When I was younger, if I was going to visit somewhere, my first ‘must-see’ was the stores! If I spotted a River Island or New Look then who cared about a huge castle or an impressive cathedral?! However, now that I’m thirty-one, I’m finding that when I go on a trip these days, I’m more interested in seeing the sights because I recognise that I can’t see them back home; so booking a tour route (there are a number to choose from – or you can purchase a ticket that allows you to do any/all of them!) with Edinburgh Bus Tours seemed like an obvious way to do this on my trip.

I chose the Majestic tour because it included some city sights and a costal one (The Royal Yacht Britannia on Leith coast) – I like the Coast in terms of photographs, but I’m a ‘city girl’ at heart! And this tour seemed to be the best of both worlds! The variety of the tours; their mix of theme and their different routes around Edinburgh really provide a brilliant opportunity for absolutely anyone’s preferences to be catered to.


“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it…”

Alan Wilson Watts

When my mental health was at its most poorly, even just the idea of change was genuinely so de-stabilising that I avoided it at all costs! Then, when it would happen out of my control, I coped in the most unsafe of ways. I think it was because the abuse was such a huge change – I mean, I’d confided in my abuser and felt supported by him for months, but then he started hurting me and changed into my enemy as I became filled with hatred towards him. So, any change in my life became a terrifying reminder that something innocent can very quickly change into something life-changing and utterly traumatic. Through my mental health recovery though, I’ve learnt the positives and the healthy side of change and can now view it as productive and an opportunity to improve things. And so, here are the biggest changes I’ve seen in I’m NOT Disordered since creating it in 2013…


I’m invincible

I win every single game,

I’m so powerful,

I don’t need batteries to play,

I’m so confident

Yeah, I’m unstoppable today

Sia - Unstoppable

Her Majesty The Queen, has this year, become the first British Monarch to celebrate a Platinum Jubilee which marked 70 years of her reign for the people of the UK, the Realms, and the Commonwealth. This enormous achievement and – in my opinion – a true sign of dedication, has really inspired this post about dedication and the impact mental health can have on it…

Dedicating my time to destroying him…

During the six months of abuse that I went through when I was younger, I remember feeling almost constantly angry and frustrated. Like, if someone gave me a pillow, I’d be able to scream into it for days on end without stopping – even just to take a breath! And I think the majority of that came from the fact that for so many reasons, I couldn’t tell anyone what was happening to me and so I put a lot of effort into my frantic and desperate attempts to somehow ‘show’ people instead. But no matter the height of the gravity behind my desperation, all the ‘signs’ I exhibited were either ignored, dismissed, or misinterpreted.

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