Sunday, 23 June 2019


[təˈbo͞o, taˈbo͞o]
1.       a social or religious custom prohibiting or forbidding discussion of a particular practice or forbidding association with a particular person, place, or thing.
1.       prohibited or restricted by social custom.
"sex was a taboo subject"
forbidden · prohibited · banned · proscribed · vetoed · ruled out · interdicted ·
1.       place under prohibition.

I don’t think I talk about LEAPS a lot on here because we have a very strict confidentiality agreement – but for those who don’t know, Listening Ear And Positive Support (LEAPS) is a support group for people who are unemployed. The nature of the organization means that there’s a lot of private and personal things discussed at the weekly meetings, but this was something I said so I guess it’s my decision to make it public…. A while ago, I secured Lottery funding for LEAPS with one of our budgets being to fund a group session on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). So, the other day at the CBT session we were talking about ‘errors in thinking’ and I gave a personal example about how – for a long time – I blamed myself for the abuse I went through. I’ve known this group of all men for over two years now and it made me wonder why I feel like I can talk to them about this…

Tuesday, 18 June 2019


So, I went to my neighbour’s house yesterday and her daughter told me she had a headache, when I asked why the reply was a little more than I’d assumed it’d be. She told me she’d been on the phone all afternoon with her daughter’s (my neighbour’s granddaughter) school after finding out a boy was bullying her. Her daughter told me that the boy was spreading rumors about her and turning all of her friends against her, to the point where they shouted at her that day at lunch time. It brought back a ton of memories of when I was bullied at High School and then I began to worry… All of those stories you see and hear in the media about young people committing suicide after being bullied at School. That fueled my anger that it was now happening to a young person I cared about, and this; was the inspiration for this blog post.

Monday, 17 June 2019


Step one, you say we need to talk

He walks

You say sit down, it’s just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

The Fray – How To Save A Life

I toyed around with a lot of different titles for this post and I worried that some of them gave the wrong impression… initially, it was ‘THE THINGS I WISH I COULD SAY’ but I don’t want people to think that I’m wishing I could see the person who abused me. Actually, what I meant by it was that I was I were ready to say those things. I wish I was ready to see him, and I wish I was ready to say these things when I did. But when I thought about my fear of people misinterpreting this, I thought that maybe there are other abuse survivors out there who have also thought about what they’d say to their abuser if they could and I really didn’t like the thought that they were sitting there thinking like I was; ‘I can’t say this to anyone because they won’t understand.’ If someone else told me they were having these thoughts and feelings, then I would support them in finding the courage and bravery to speak up regardless of their worries about others. I’d tell them that if it’s going to help them to talk about it, you shouldn’t care what anyone else might think. So why should I be any different? Why shouldn’t I take my own advice?!

Saturday, 15 June 2019


Since my first day (over a week ago!) of my Digital Marketing internship with Docere, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a blog post about it because it’s become such a huge part of my life that I just obviously want to share it with you all. So, I’ve been trying to think of ways to… wangle it into I’m NOT Disordered, and the inspiration came when I talked about the internship with my Mum…

I first found the vacancy on the Indeed site and it was just one of those jobs where I applied… just for the hell of it to be honest! I thought I’d apply on the off chance that I’d get an interview and get some more experience in interviewing. I think that realistically, I didn’t believe I was in any way ready to work but it felt nice to feel like I was giving myself the opportunity. When I got an email from Docere and it began ‘we’d firstly like to apologize’ so I just sighed, but then I read on ‘for the delay in responding to your application…’ And I had a little cheer when I read that I’d been shortlisted for an interview! I’d applied for so many positions in one night that I had to look back through the job description on Indeed! When I discovered that it was one I was actually interested in so far as to that I wished I was ready to take it on.

Why did I decide to go for it?

Monday, 10 June 2019


ps. i have so many pics with my besties that i decided to just include this one because I think it sums up friendship perfectly! 

With it recently being Best Friends Day, I was inspired to write this post all about why friendship is so important in mental health…

Growing up, I don’t think I ever paid much attention to my friendships, and that doesn’t mean I was isolated and didn’t have any. It was just that I wasn’t really conscious of the possibility that I could be friendless and that meant I wasn’t very appreciative of the fact that I had three best friends who I’d do everything with! 

I felt like this all through First School until we started Middle School and each of us found their own friendship groups. It seemed to be fairly natural and with us all being in different classes anyway it’s kind of just made sense that we’d find other friends who were in our class. A huge milestone and test in the group’s friendship came when one of my friends lost her mother very suddenly. Our other two friends had no real reaction – that I know of – but I (and my Mum!) were there for her and her family in a flash, and our friendship seemed to repair itself a little for the duration of Middle School.