THE THINGS I COULD SAY

Step one, you say we need to talk

He walks

You say sit down, it’s just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

The Fray – How To Save A Life

I toyed around with a lot of different titles for this post and I worried that some of them gave the wrong impression… initially, it was ‘THE THINGS I WISH I COULD SAY’ but I don’t want people to think that I’m wishing I could see the person who abused me. Actually, what I meant by it was that I was I were ready to say those things. I wish I was ready to see him, and I wish I was ready to say these things when I did. But when I thought about my fear of people misinterpreting this, I thought that maybe there are other abuse survivors out there who have also thought about what they’d say to their abuser if they could and I really didn’t like the thought that they were sitting there thinking like I was; ‘I can’t say this to anyone because they won’t understand.’ If someone else told me they were having these thoughts and feelings, then I would support them in finding the courage and bravery to speak up regardless of their worries about others. I’d tell them that if it’s going to help them to talk about it, you shouldn’t care what anyone else might think. So why should I be any different? Why shouldn’t I take my own advice?!

WHY I’M A FAN OF JUMPING IN AT THE DEEP END | MY DIGITAL MARKETING INTERNSHIP WITH DOCERE | LAUNCHING THE BEHIND-THE-SCENES PROJECT | AD

Since my first day (over a week ago!) of my Digital Marketing internship with Docere, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a blog post about it because it’s become such a huge part of my life that I just obviously want to share it with you all. So, I’ve been trying to think of ways to… wangle it into I’m NOT Disordered, and the inspiration came when I talked about the internship with my Mum…


I first found the vacancy on the Indeed site and it was just one of those jobs where I applied… just for the hell of it to be honest! I thought I’d apply on the off chance that I’d get an interview and get some more experience in interviewing. I think that realistically, I didn’t believe I was in any way ready to work but it felt nice to feel like I was giving myself the opportunity. When I got an email from Docere and it began ‘we’d firstly like to apologize’ so I just sighed, but then I read on ‘for the delay in responding to your application…’ And I had a little cheer when I read that I’d been shortlisted for an interview! I’d applied for so many positions in one night that I had to look back through the job description on Indeed! When I discovered that it was one I was actually interested in so far as to that I wished I was ready to take it on.


Why did I decide to go for it?

BEST FRIENDS & MENTAL HEALTH

ps. i have so many pics with my besties that i decided to just include this one because I think it sums up friendship perfectly! 

With it recently being Best Friends Day, I was inspired to write this post all about why friendship is so important in mental health…


Growing up, I don’t think I ever paid much attention to my friendships, and that doesn’t mean I was isolated and didn’t have any. It was just that I wasn’t really conscious of the possibility that I could be friendless and that meant I wasn’t very appreciative of the fact that I had three best friends who I’d do everything with! 


I felt like this all through First School until we started Middle School and each of us found their own friendship groups. It seemed to be fairly natural and with us all being in different classes anyway it’s kind of just made sense that we’d find other friends who were in our class. A huge milestone and test in the group’s friendship came when one of my friends lost her mother very suddenly. Our other two friends had no real reaction – that I know of – but I (and my Mum!) were there for her and her family in a flash, and our friendship seemed to repair itself a little for the duration of Middle School.

“HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT HOW COAL MINING IS RELEVANT TO A MENTAL HEALTH BLOG?!” | #HiddenHistories | AD

When a friend asked me to blog and do social media at an event she was organizing I was immediately up for it. Then she told me it was called Hidden Histories: Mining in the North East and I hesitated… I mean, I know that I’m known for making anything and everything relevant to mental health because I’m a great believer that mental health affects anyone and anything, but I’ll admit; I was stumped with coal mining. So, I did something very different of me; I asked someone else for inspiration! I spoke to one of the key organizers: Soph Hopkins, and she talked about how she and some of the other volunteers had met through mental health services and that they had involved mental health in the event with discussions on our own ‘hidden histories’ (personal experiences), ways that society has changed over the years that coal mining has and there was even a mental health song called Monsters!


There were a few things I took away from the event that I thought were apt for I’m NOT Disordered readers:

MY TOP FIVE PLACES TO VISIT ON THE LNER ROUTE | IN COLLABORATION WITH LNER | AD

I’m very proud to be able to say that I’m collaborating with London North Eastern Railway (LNER) on a series of posts in the run-up to a complimentary first-class trip on June 15^th. 

Here’s my five favourite places (in no particular order) from the LNER route!

1.    Edinburgh

Things to see and do:

Edinburgh Castle – learn about its fascinating, vibrant and grisly history, ensuring you visit the Scottish Crown Jewels while you’re there. Opening hours: 9:30am – 6pm, tickets: adults = £19.50, Concession = £11.50, Children (5-15) = £10.50, free for children under 5

National Museum of Scotland – not only can you explore the exhibits and displays but there’s also an incredible panoramic view of the city from the Museum’s rooftop terrace. Opening hours: 10am – 5pm, free admission, donations welcome

Christmas Market – crepes and waffles, glass baubles and decorations; Edinburgh Christmas Market is visited by thousands of shoppers a year

Shopping – Princes Street for all of your high street stores from Superdrug to Apple to Primark, for luxury shopping; Multrees Walk