You’ve got the words to change a nation
But you’re biting your tongue
You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence
Afraid you’ll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gunna learn your song?
Emeli Sande – Read All About It (pt III)
I’ve recently had a few bits of media work going on – filming with Channel 4, the BBC, Richmond Fellowship, and Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS FoundationTrust, as well as an interview with Koast Radio – and it got me thinking about my decision to tell the world about my mental health journey. And I’d like to encourage others to do the same.
When the abuse first began my instinct was to tell someone about it; to report it. His threats and warnings didn’t really matter when the real reluctance was coming from inside my own head. I was so afraid that I’d be judged for what had happened. That people would look at me differently and believe that I’d deserved it. They’d think less of me. Because ultimately, when abuse is reported – no matter who to – and one person is denying it ever took place, a person has to decide who they believe. You have to choose a side. And I didn’t know how I would cope if the people I knew chose his. Would it mean that actually, I hadn’t known them at all?