“Our
soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”
Richard
Bach
Even though for my two mini-Lionhead bunnies (Luna and Gracie) I celebrate their ‘Gotcha Day’ as their Birthday, I know Ruby’s actual date of birth(!), and so her Birthday is marked on March 26th. This year, for her second Birthday, I’ll be looking over the previous two years with her, realising she’s my fluffy soulmate, reminiscing over my favourite moments together, and reflecting on some of the things I’ve learnt from loving her. I’ll also pepper the post with some of my favourite cat items and products on Etsy UK right now…
Why She Came Into My Life
In
October 2022, my calico rescue cat; Emmy, had to be put to sleep after
developing Feline Leukaemia and at a check-up for the bunny (Luna) who has spent
one year by her side, I told the Vet that Luna was pushing the cat tunnel
around the sitting room. I thought it was cute and funny and had actually
posted videos of her doing it on social media, but the Vet told me that
actually, it was grief with Luna being able to smell Emmy still and frustration
that she had no companion to play with. I asked what would be best for her and
the Vet told me to get her a mate and explained it would be easier to introduce
Luna to another bunny than a cat again. So, I immediately began looking for one
and in January 2023, Gracie came along!
The two
of them immediately bonded (there’s actually a video which includes a clip of
them meeting over on my YouTube channel, here) and within a few
months, I had established that I was feeling lonely because the two bunnies
were always off in another room cuddled up together and washing each other. So,
I began looking for a kitten to keep me company! I actually decided not to tell
my Mum what I was planning because I was worried, she would think it was the
wrong decision and try to talk me out of it. I was struggling one day though,
and the Crisis Team ended up mentioning my plans to my Mum and after, she told
me that she would trust my decision and supported me in finally finding Ruby
and bringing her home in May 2023.
Her Baby Photos
Her First Feature On I’m NOT Disordered
When I
decided to get Ruby, I approached the lovely Celebrity and Influencer
Relationship Manager for Cats Protection who I’d worked with on blog
collaborations previously, and suggested we do a month-long series of weekly posts
full of my experiences with getting a kitten and linking all of them to all of the
kitten care advice Cats Protection provide (you can find some on the Kitten
Care page on their website, here).
One huge concept I really like to channel into a lot of the content on I’m NOT
Disordered, is around lessons I’ve learnt from difficult experiences in the
hope and with the intention that it will help others to avoid going through
those same hardships to learn the same lesson. And this thought process,
coupled with my love for pets, and my eagerness and passion to collaborate with
Cats Protection again, were hugely motivational for this collaboration pitch. I
also loved the idea that it would be sort of allow me to really indulge in the
experience of getting a new kitten and bringing in an addition to the
family/household. It felt like a means of absolutely showering Ruby with love, attention,
and appreciation; a number of qualities I really love the idea of her being
able to experience in her lifetime with me.
In
feeling that sense of indulgent, I also think the collaboration helped to make
the most of Ruby’s kitten days because, like actual human babies; they grow up
so fast! It’s almost like you blink and that tiny, fluffy kitten is a big,
fluffy cat! And so, I’ve really enjoyed having this series of posts to look
back on because it gives me the ability to really properly reminisce in a way which
you can’t exactly do if you just have a few photos or a video on your phone (I
did create ‘reels’ for each week where I created a video from smaller video
clips and photos; you can see each of these in the posts linked below, or on my
YouTube channel, here).
Here
are the links to each of the four blog posts:
I think
that the largest lesson I learnt was in that last link when I noted not to worry
if any initial advice or recommendations don’t work for your kitten because they’re
all so individual and unique – very unique in some cases! I don’t think I’m alone
though, in worrying that I’m doing something wrong or that something is wrong
with my kitten because she’s not benefiting from the things other cats do. Having
joined a few Facebook Groups for maine coon and rag doll (Ruby is a mix of
both) cat owners, and frequently, the content includes requests for advice and then,
in the comments, there are a ton from other owners who recommend the complete
opposite recommendations after trialling things on their cats too. I think
though, that panicking over doing the right thing for your pet, is a huge
illustration of how much you care about them and the level of love and
importance that you hold for them. It shows a true appreciation and respect for
your pet. But it’s made harder because your pet can’t talk, and you can’t
really explain to them that you’re trying to help! Anyway, I linked that lesson
to a page on Cats Protection’s website (this one, to be precise)
Catnip
Biscuit Toys: £5.50
Crochet
Octopus Toy: £10.60
Magical
Moon Wand: £9.99
Laptop
Scratchboard: £26.34
Cloud
Toy: £8.25
The Most Frequently Asked Question About
Ruby
When I’ve
met someone new and they ask if I have pets or if I bring the topic up (because
it’s honestly my favourite conversation starter!) and I say one cat and two
bunnies, nine times out of ten I’m asked something along the lines of: “do they
get along?”
My
first, immediate answer is always: “yes, actually.” But often, I think about it
and decide to elaborate in explaining that Luna (the black and white bunny) is
the eldest, so I think it’s pretty much understood and agreed that she’s in
charge in the home. And so, it’s really only Gracie that Ruby actually
interacts with in some way. The two most frequent ways in which she does this
are to chase her around the house, and she’ll often just go up to where Gracie
is sitting or lying and give her a tap on the head!
My lack
of care – I suppose might be the right word so that I don’t sound ambivalent or
neglectful – for this behaviour, is because Ruby never has her claws out when
she does this, so she doesn’t ever hurt Gracie. It makes me think that
actually, she likely just wants to play with her! In all honesty, sometimes
that makes me sad because I think that Ruby has no one like her to play with and
often, I end up really spinning out of control and find myself considering
getting another cat! But, of course, I recognise that would be a lot of hard
work and a heck of a lot more money too! This concept also makes me think about
Luna and Gracie and how grateful I am that I listened to that Vet and got
Gracie to keep Luna company.
Her Instant Attachment To Me & Why
It Has Actually Been Difficult
From
the moment I picked Ruby up and had her on my lap in the taxi home, I felt a connection
to her and a bond between us that is something I honestly don’t feel I’ve
really experienced with other pets. As obviously amazing and lovely this is, it’s
actually been difficult and hard to voice as well because I don’t want it to
ever seem like a slant against my other, incredible pets! Of course, I’ve loved
every single one of them to the moon and back, and I’ve been so full of
appreciation for the different benefits they’ve each had on my mental health
and my recovery journey.
In thinking
about how each pet has had a different impact, I’ve realised that this probably
likely happened because I’ve been at a different point in my recovery when I’ve
had them. So, when I was in the psychiatric hospital for over two years, one of
my recovery goals was getting my own cat when I was discharged. My Mum actually
had the brilliant idea at the time of buying a cat collar and hanging it up
somewhere in my hospital room to provide motivation to really work hard to get
better. It meant that when I was finally discharged in 2014, I added Dolly to my
home within one week of moving in and it was so surreal and emotional to see
that little pink collar with white spots actually around her neck. It was kind
of like a sign and a reminder as to how far I had come and how different things
were.
When
Dolly was around three, my visual hallucinations of rabbits came back and I was
in Pets at Home one day with my Mum when I had the thought that perhaps if I
held one of the bunnies in there, I would recognise a difference between the hallucinations
and reality. Out of all the bunnies there, I picked Pixie, and the staff told
me she was hard to catch and squirmed a lot when she was being held, but as
soon as they put her in my arms she went still and nestled her head into my
neck. And boy, did I cry?! I returned the next day to buy her and all the bits
she’d need and brought her home. Over the four years of her life, she remained
calm and settled so I could actually get a lot of photos with her when I would
dress her up on special occasions! She remained a brilliantly therapeutic in
helping to ground me when I was hallucinating. After just over a year with
Dolly and Pixie, Dolly had to be put to sleep and Pixie seemed so lonely. She
was always sort of searching around the house and sniffing the places where
Dolly used to sit or sleep, so I wanted to get her another companion and ended
up adopting my rescue cat, Emmy.
The
benefits I experiencing with Emmy were mostly around the lovely notion that she
was a rescue, but she also helped me to develop a real recognition that I have
such good instincts with my pets. She developed a sore on her face, and it
continued to get worse, but the Vets kept brushing it off and telling me it was
likely just a scratch because she was an outdoor cat, but they said this
without even seeing her nor accepting me sending in photos of it! They
eventually agreed to prescribe a cream, but – because of the terrible feeling I
had that this was something serious – I decided to take her to another Vets
instead. When they told me that if it had been left any longer, the expanding
wound could have caused her to lose the eye it almost reached.
Within around
one year of Emmy and Pixie being together, Pixie developed her fifth bout of
Gut Stasis and when the Vet explained that she would continue to have episodes
of it and that each one would become more and more difficult to treat, I made
the decision to have her put to sleep. I hated the thought of her spending her
life backwards and forwards to the Vet and being in so much pain. It was such a
horrible end though because it happened during the coronavirus pandemic and so
I actually had to say goodbye to her in the Vet’s carpark. Going home to Emmy
without her best-friend, was so incredibly difficult and caused me to take several
months before deciding to get another bunny (Luna!).
After
Luna and Emmy had been together for a year or so, Emmy contracted feline leukaemia
and in 2022, she was put to sleep. When the Vet told me that it would help Luna
if I got another bunny rather than a cat, I added Gracie to the family in 2023
and then had the whole ordeal I talked about at the beginning of this post
around feeling lonely and getting Ruby because of it. So, to bring it back to
the different benefits each have had for me; Luna has been helpful in so far as
generally cheering me up! I mean, even just seeing her little moustache marking
still – even after four years – makes me smile and laugh! And Gracie, has taught
me a lot about gratitude because I couldn’t feel more thankful for how
incredibly influential, she has been on getting Luna through her grief from
losing Emmy. It’s shown me the beneficial power of friendship and relationships
between pets in a more positive light than really only seeing it in their grief
from the loss of each other. Their bond has also been helpful in me trying to
keep myself safe because I’d be so worried that if something happened to me,
Luna and Gracie would be split up – and this goes on to now having Ruby too
because what are the chances that someone would adopt two bunnies and a cat?! I
hate the idea of them losing each other because when Gracie was poorly a while
ago, I had the sudden realisation that we’re actually like a little four-piece
jigsaw and if one is missing, it doesn’t look right.
In
addition to worrying that voicing my connection with Ruby would seem dismissive
of my other pets, another difficult factor to it, has been that the two times
she’s been poorly have hit me so hard (I actually wrote a blog post a number of
years ago which was full of advice on coping with your mental health when your
pet is poorly, you can read it here
and I also created a piece of content which was full of resources for coping
with grief after the loss of a pet, which you can read here).
And whilst the majority of my struggle around our bond and her being poorly,
was about how I would cope if I lost her, I’ve also thought about how she would
feel without me.
My Favourite Moment with Ruby
My
absolute favourite moment with Ruby was actually not too long after she came
home – which I think illustrates how instant the bond and connection was – and it
was when I was sat on my bed crying and she came up, sat in front of me, stared
at me, and kept putting a paw up to my face. Fortunately, I managed to record
it, you can watch it below:
The Indoor/Outdoor Thought Process
My
first cat; Dolly, used to go in the garden quite a bit, and then the second cat
(Emmy) practically lived outside! Like, if the weather was bad and I wouldn’t
let her out, she’d sit at the backdoor meowing loudly and pacing up and down the
corridor. So, on getting Ruby, I knew I needed to decide whether I would let
her out or not and I wanted to decide quickly because if I had started letting
her out and then stopped, she might have gotten upset too.
I made
my decision to keep her an indoor cat because of two hugely important factors:
1.
There
are a few roads near my home, and we tend to get people speeding down them, so
I worried about her safety.
2.
With
her being a maine coon/rag doll mix… Well, those breeds can be very expensive,
and I think that even just looking at her, she looks like she’s worth a lot, so
I was honestly really concerned that someone would steal her if they saw her
outside.
Cat
Ear Storage Baskets: £12.00
Custom
Pet Name Blanket: £18.40
Catnip
Lollipops: £7.50
Luxury
Velvet Collar: £8.50
Cat
Sleeping Sack: £14.00