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So, you may have missed it, but I got a new mini
lop lionhead bunny (Luna) on September 1st (you can read about her
and it almost felt inevitable – to me – that I created a joint Instagram
account for her and my little calico rescue cat; Emmy…
A FRESH START
The reason I had to make the decision to even just get Luna was because my previous lop Lionhead bunny; Pixie was put to sleep in April (you can read about her death here).
Initially, I thought I was
settled firmly on the decision not to get another bunny because I had seen a
change in Emmy’s confidence and the distress she exhibited immediately after losing
Pixie (who had been her best friend) seemed to have disappeared. But it became obvious
that the thought of how Emmy would respond to a new addition to the family was
the only real concern that was preventing me doing it because if it was just
about me… well, I was super keen to get another bunny!
So, the point which really helped in the decision was that because I wanted a bunny; if I didn’t try – if I didn’t see how Emmy was with another bunny, I would always be wondering. And having made four suicide attempts, I’m very much a ‘you-only-live-once’ type of person! Which meant that when my loved ones voiced their concern that I would be at risk of going through the heartache I had when Pixie was poorly because she died from Gut Stasis and that’s a very common illness in rabbits; I explained that I didn’t want that one terrible experience to stop me from living life to the fullest. And ironically, I think that Pixie would have wanted me to feel that way – she would have wanted me to get another bunny so that something positive came from her death.
When I finally settled on the
bunny who is now Luna(!), I was getting dressed to go pick her up and almost
wore the jumper I’d worn when I had to say goodbye to Pixie; but I was
determined that getting Luna would mean a fresh start. That, whilst I would never
forget about Pixie and I might be reminded of her more when I had another
bunny, I didn’t want it to seem as though Luna was living in her shadow. As
though my love and care for her was completely shaped around life with Pixie.
When Pixie died, I remember
almost instantly closing her and Emmy’s joint Instagram account, and so it kind
of just made sense that I would create a new one in bringing Luna home.
A WAY TO DOCUMENT THEIR JOURNEY/RELATIONSHIP
One key motivation in
creating my pets joint Instagram account was the idea that it would help me in
documenting their little journey together. And I think that mindset or thought
process, was largely inspired by I’m NOT Disordered because a huge reason for
creating my blog was that as an inpatient, I had agreed with the psychiatric hospital
staff that I would begin writing about the abuse I had experienced when I was
younger. And agreeing this, felt like a huge step towards recovery, and that
was something I wanted to document to keep track of. I mean, I had spent so
much time writing apologies to my loved ones for my self-harm, and suicide letters
before my four attempts, that it felt only fair to write about the – hopefully –
good, positive times too! So, with that thought process proving to be pretty
successful with I’m NOT Disordered, I had every reason to trust it for Emmy and
I did have the thought that Emmy
and Pixie’s account didn’t get very popular or successful, and I think that a
part of that will have been that just sort of randomly started it a few years
into them being together. So, I thought that beginning one from the very start
of Luna adding to the home/family, would be much more interesting because it’d
be a true reflection of their relationship growing from Day One.
TO RAISE AWARENESS OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL
BENEFITS OF HAVING A PET
I think that if you’ve been
reading, I’m NOT Disordered for a while, you’ll know that this is something I’m
really passionate about.
A few years after getting the
family cat; Saffy, the abuse began and when I would come home and my Mum was at
work, I’d cry into Saffy’s fur and hug her so tight because I was desperate for
some sort of comfort. For so many reasons, I felt that I couldn’t report the
abuse straight away and so Saffy was the only one who ‘knew’ what was happening
to me; and having the relief of talking to her, was also comforting. So, from a
very early age, I knew that pets could benefit your mental health.
So, when I was finally discharged
from the psychiatric hospital, I’d been in for over two years, after securing a
home in the community, my next port of call was to get my own cat! The thought
of getting one became a huge recovery goal for a year or so before my discharge
so actually bringing her home felt like such an achievement and accomplishment.
When, after a few years of living
in the community, the visual hallucinations of rabbits came back, I made the
spontaneous decision to actually buy a bunny and add her to the family. I
thought that having a real bunny in the home would really be reassuring in
helping me to realise that the hallucinations weren’t real – that they weren’t
reality and that aided in ridding them of the power they held over me, and the upset
they caused me.
After losing Dolly, Pixie and
I bonded so much but after just six days, I adopted another cat (Emmy). Pixie
and Emmy took really well to each other; I think a part of this was because Pixie
had grown up with a cat around, so she wasn’t fazed, and Emmy was still young,
so she didn’t really know any different either. And whilst their bond made me
so happy, the bad side of it was that when Pixie died, Emmy was kind of
So, getting Luna wasn’t the
first time I realised how beneficial pets can be to your mental health, but getting
her made me realise that it’s something which I think is still worth
Discount code (20% off when
you spend £10): NOTDISORDERED