HOW TO COPE WITH THE TRICKIEST MOMENTS FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WHEN YOUR PET IS POORLY | IN PARTNERSHIP WITH GRACIE’S WAY

“The kindness one does for one animal may not change the world, but it will change the world of that one animal.”

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Wondering where the content has been for almost one month? My youngest bunny; Evie, who I literally just got in November 2025 after Gracie died on November 1^st (you can read my blog post about Gracie’s death here and the post about getting Evie, is here), was diagnosed with Gut Stasis (the disease that has taken both my first rabbit; Pixie – whose death you can read about here – and Gracie from me) at the beginning of the month. In a bid to raise awareness of Stasis, I published a piece of content over on the website for my pet bereavement project: Gracie’s Way (which you can read here) and on its Instagram (which you can view here). In creating that content, I started to think about myself and how my own mental health had been affected, and it is those thoughts that have inspired this post in which I’ll list the most difficult moments for your mental health when you have a poorly pet and I’ll obviously also add some advice and tips on ways to cope with those instances…

Why This Matters/Is Important

I firstly, wanted to quickly mention why I think it’s so important that you take care of your mental health when your pet is poorly…

1. You Can Make Clearer Decisions

When emotions and stress are overwhelming, it can be harder to process information or weigh options. Managing your mental health helps you:

• understand veterinary advice more clearly
• think through treatment choices
• feel more confident in the decisions you make for your pet

2. It Helps You Provide Better Care

Looking after a sick pet can involve medications, monitoring symptoms, vet visits, and lifestyle adjustments. When you’re mentally supported and calmer, you’re more able to:

• stay organised
• notice changes in your pet’s condition
• maintain consistent care routines

3. Animals Can Sense Human Stress

Many pets are very sensitive to their owner’s emotional state. High stress or anxiety in the household can sometimes make a poorly pet more unsettled. Staying as calm as possible can help create a more reassuring environment for them.

4. It Reduces Caregiver Burnout

Caring for a sick pet—especially over weeks or months—can become emotionally exhausting. Looking after your mental health helps prevent:

• chronic stress
• sleep disruption
• feeling overwhelmed or helpless

5. It Supports Healthy Processing of Grief and Uncertainty

Illness in a pet often brings worry, anticipatory grief, and fear of loss. Managing your mental health allows you to:

• process those emotions more gradually
• stay present with your pet
• cope better with whatever outcome eventually occurs

So, I think that the first moment from having a poorly pet that is hard on your mental health, is the uncertainty when they first begin to show symptoms and you aren’t entirely sure what’s wrong, what it means, what could happen, or what they need etc. To be honest, having lost Pixie to Gut Stasis (she had her fifth episode of it when the Vet made the comment that it was getting harder and harder to pull her through them and that she was going to continue to suffer from it until eventually, they wouldn’t be able to get her through it at all and I recognised this was no quality of life and made the decision to euthanise her) and Gracie (who, it is believed, actually died from the Stasis causing a heart attack), I’m certainly very aware now of the symptoms and so when Evie first became poorly in the exact same way it started with Gracie (wet/soft stools – here’s why this is a symptom of Stasis and what it means for a rabbit: Gastrointestinal (GI) Stasis in Rabbits | PetMD), I was almost 100% sure I knew what it was.

Despite fairly confidently second-guessing the diagnosis, I still had a lot of uncertainty to struggle with. It was mostly related to the recognition that it’s something which can either go very wrong or actually be incredibly easily treated. It really just depends on the bunny and how soon you’ve managed to catch it; and with Evie being a very new addition to the family, I didn’t feel too confident in terms of knowing her strength and her tolerance levels, nor was I certain how early it was that I’d picked up on the Stasis because there’d been soft stools on and off for over one week but because I have Luna too, I couldn’t be sure who was doing it as – similarly to when it was Gracie – neither was showing any other symptoms…

With uncertainty regularly and understandably often leading to feelings around, or similar to, anxiety; I feel it’s a really important element to provide ten coping skills for:

1. Focus on What You Can Control

Uncertainty often makes people feel powerless. It can help to focus on practical things you can do:

• Following the vet’s advice
• Keeping track of symptoms
• Making sure your pet is comfortable

Small actions can restore a sense of control and purpose.

2. Limit “Doom-Scrolling” Symptoms Online

Looking up symptoms repeatedly can make anxiety spiral.

• Set boundaries (e.g., only researching from trusted vet sources).
• Avoid late-night searches when worry tends to intensify.

3. Keep a Simple Health Journal

Writing down things like appetite, energy levels, medication, and behaviour can help:

• Provide useful information for the vet
• Reduce rumination because worries are recorded rather than spinning in your head

4. Create Short “Worry Windows”

Instead of worrying constantly, some people find it helpful to:

• Set a 10–15-minute period to think about concerns or research
• Then intentionally redirect attention afterwards

This technique helps stop worry from taking over the whole day.

5. Talk to Someone Who Understands

Sharing the situation with a friend, partner, or fellow pet owner can ease the emotional burden.

• Sometimes people underestimate how heavy the stress can be.
• Simply saying it out loud can reduce the feeling of carrying it alone.

6. Maintain Parts of Your Normal Routine

When a pet is unwell, life can start revolving entirely around them. Keeping parts of your routine—work, exercise, hobbies—helps protect mental balance.

7. Practice Grounding or Calm Breathing

Uncertainty often triggers physical anxiety. Techniques like:

• slow breathing
• mindfulness
• grounding exercises (focusing on sights/sounds around you)

can help calm the nervous system.

8. Focus on the Present Moment With Your Pet

Instead of constantly anticipating what might happen:

• spend time simply being with them
• give gentle attention, play, or quiet companionship

This can shift your focus from fear of the future to meaningful moments now.

9. Be Compassionate Toward Yourself

Owners often feel guilt (“Did I miss something?” “Am I doing enough?”).
Remind yourself:

• illness happens even with excellent care
• worrying shows how much you care.

10. Seek Professional Support if It Becomes Overwhelming

If anxiety, sleep problems, or intrusive thoughts become intense, talking to a therapist or counsellor can help you process the stress.

I honestly think that this is actually a bit of a controversial aspect of pet health… Typically, I avoid controversial topics in my content creation because I recognise the risk that addressing them can hold around receiving negative comments from readers/followers. However, this is a huge part of the general theme of this post; to a degree where it honestly would have felt somewhat dishonest to have not mentioned it.

My mental health means I’m unemployed, but the prices of veterinary services these days are – in my opinion – sometimes of a level where I think that even those who work full-time could struggle and will rarely have such an amount lying around the house ready to spend whenever necessary/needed! And in all honesty, struggling to pay the Vet bills does influence a lot of thoughts in me around me being an irresponsible owner and I question whether I should be allowed three babies if I don’t have this sort of money in my bank! But like I said, how realistic is it anyway? And yes, I’m very aware that Pet Insurance exists but there’s so many rules on pre-existing conditions and I’m incredibly convinced that I’d begin paying a small fortune per month and would never need it – which is obviously, actually technically a good thing…!!!

Anyway, in addition to the financial aspects of a poorly pet being important, there’s also the fact that it often feels like the ‘last thing’ you want to be worrying about when you have an ill pet on your hands too! So, here’s ten tips on coping with it:

1. Speak Openly With Your Vet About Costs

Many people feel embarrassed discussing money, but vets understand that finances can be a concern. Ask about:

• different treatment options
• priority treatments vs optional ones
• estimated costs in advance

Having clear information can reduce uncertainty and stress.

2. Ask About Payment Plans or Financial Options

Some veterinary practices offer:

• staged payments
• payment plans
• third-party financing services

Knowing these options exist can relieve immediate financial pressure.

3. Prioritise Your Pet’s Comfort and Quality of Life

When money is tight, it can help to focus on treatments that most directly support your pet’s wellbeing and comfort rather than feeling pressure to pursue every possible option.

4. Set a Realistic Budget

Decide what you can reasonably afford without putting yourself into serious financial hardship. Setting a boundary can reduce the constant anxiety of “how much more will this cost?”

5. Avoid Self-Blame

Many owners feel guilty if they cannot afford certain treatments. It’s important to remember:

• veterinary care can be very expensive
• financial limits are a reality for many people
• caring deeply about your pet does not depend on how much you spend.

6. Seek Emotional Support

Financial stress can feel isolating. Talking to:

• friends or family
• other pet owners
• support groups

can help you process the emotions that come with financial pressure.

7. Break the Situation Into Smaller Steps

Instead of worrying about every possible future cost, focus on the next decision or appointment. Taking things one step at a time can make the situation feel more manageable.

8. Look Into Charities or Assistance Programs

In some cases, animal welfare charities or organisations may help with veterinary costs for people who qualify. Researching available support can sometimes reduce financial strain.

9. Protect Your Own Basic Needs

When trying to pay for treatment, some owners neglect their own essentials like food, rest, or bills. Maintaining your own stability is important for your mental health and your ability to care for your pet.

10. Remind Yourself That Love Is Not Measured by Money

The bond with your pet comes from care, companionship, and kindness, not just financial resources. Being present, comforting them, and making compassionate decisions are all meaningful acts of care.

Of course, in my opinion, the hardest element to having a poorly pet is just the pure, upsetting, and heart-wrenching moments when you witness them in some kind of pain, distress, or even discomfort can be hard to witness. For me, one of the many reasons why this is hard is because they can’t really tell you just how bad things are – or aren’t! – and they can’t say that they need help or what kind of help you need. Then, when you do take them to the Vets and they got upset about that, you can’t really explain that you’re trying to help them by doing so and that it might make them feel better. I fully appreciate the intelligence of animals – especially rabbits (who I think have their cleverness almost completely unrecognised by so many people – particularly people with no experience of owning a bunny and so this sort of makes sense and is somewhat understandable!) – but you have to be realistic and recognise that what I’m saying isn’t really about understanding, it’s more about communication and being unable to properly communicate how they feel and what they need/want.

I wrote a blog post once too back in 2022 about how one of the greatest aspects to having a pet is having responsibility over another life (you can read it: WHY GAINING RESPONSIBILITY IS ONE OF THE GREATEST REASONS TO HAVE A FURRY FRIEND | FOUR YEARS SINCE LOSING DOLLY | I'm NOT Disordered). And I think that’s relevant to this difficulty too because you feel responsible for their life and their experiences and this often means questioning whether you’re blameworthy in any way for any illness they may got through e.g. my cat was recently sick a lot and I’ve questioned whether it was because my new rabbit; Evie had just been really poorly and I’d been really upset and stressed about it. My cat is very attached to me and she’s really sensitive and very much aware if I’m struggling in literally any way at all! And this actually leads nicely onto the next tricky moment, but before that, here’s ten tips to coping with seeing your pet in pain or distressed:

1. Contact a Vet for Guidance

If your pet appears to be in pain or distress, contacting a veterinarian is one of the most important steps. Getting professional advice can:

• reduce uncertainty
• help you understand what is happening
• give you clear actions to take

2. Focus on Helping Your Pet Feel Safe

Your calm presence can be reassuring to a distressed pet. Speak softly, stay close if they are comfortable with it, and create a quiet environment.

3. Remind Yourself That You Are Taking Action

Feelings of helplessness are common when an animal is suffering. Reminding yourself that you are seeking help and doing your best for them can reduce guilt and anxiety.

4. Avoid Blaming Yourself

Owners often wonder if they missed signs or could have prevented the problem. In many cases illness or injury cannot be predicted, and blaming yourself can increase emotional distress.

5. Take Short Breaks if You Feel Overwhelmed

Watching a pet in pain for long periods can be mentally exhausting. If possible, step away briefly to breathe, drink water, or reset emotionally before returning to care for them.

6. Use Calming Techniques

Stress can build quickly in these situations. Techniques such as slow breathing, grounding exercises, or mindfulness can help reduce panic and keep you more emotionally steady.

7. Ask for Support From Others

If the situation is ongoing, having someone else help—whether with practical tasks or emotional support—can reduce the feeling of carrying everything alone.

8. Focus on Comfort Measures

Providing things that may help your pet feel more comfortable (such as a warm blanket, a quiet space, or gentle reassurance) can give you a sense of purpose and help ease distress for both of you.

9. Limit Catastrophic Thinking

It’s easy to immediately assume the worst when a pet is suffering. Try to focus on the current situation and the guidance you receive from professionals rather than imagining every possible outcome.

10. Be Kind to Yourself Emotionally

Feeling upset, anxious, or even frightened when a pet is in pain is a normal reaction. Allowing yourself to acknowledge those emotions rather than suppress them can make them easier to manage.

That little mention of responsibility around your pets was a really good lead to this bit because I think it’s also massively and very obviously and understandably relevant with this tricky moment too! Your feelings of responsibility for your pet, can sometimes mean that if your pet is poorly, it’s entirely your decision which route to go down in so far as treatment for them. As two examples:

1.       Recently, my cat – Ruby – was being sick quite a lot and the Vet said I could either have her sedated to do a scan or try her on a special diet!

2.       When Evie (my new bunny!) was recently poorly with Gut Stasis (I wrote an article and put a video together on Gracie’s Way about it, you can read it and watch the video here: What Gut Stasis Looks Like: A Guide & Video | Gracie's Way) the Vet, at one point, said I could either have her admitted to Critical Care overnight, or be responsible for giving her all of her medications and critical care feeding every three hours!

In all honesty? One of the largest factors in helping me to decide which option to go for – in both situations – was the financial implications! I mean, it was either free samples of a specialist diet for the cat or a few hundred pound for the sedation and scan! And for Evie, critical care for a rabbit – which are classed as exotic animals at most Vets – for one night was over £900 but the out-of-hours consultation fee, all the medication, and all the critical feed packets were under £300! Both instances almost felt like a no-brainer. I mean, in all honesty, if I felt that the ‘cheaper’ options meant they would have a far less chance of survival, I’d have made the financial issues work somehow! But, when I recognised that there was still every chance that they would be ok if I opted for the cheaper treatment decision, I couldn’t really fathom those amounts of money!

Of course, arguably, the hardest treatment decision for most pet owners is when it’s put to you whether to try some sort of last-ditch attempt at treating them or euthanasia. I had that for my first cat; Dolly back in 2018! She had Kidney failure and I remember the Vet said there was some final tests and treatments they could do but it would be stressful for her and could cause some pain, or they could put her to sleep. I opted for the euthanasia because I didn’t want her last moments to be neither painful or stressful. And actually, I tried to view myself as lucky with that one because I was able to be given the option or ability to end her pain and distress. But it was still a huge pressure and, in all honesty, for the three instances where I’ve had to decide on euthanasia for three different pets (Dolly, Pixie, and Emmy), I’ve had the thought ‘have I just killed my baby?’ It led me to genuinely question whether I was responsible for their death in terms of it being murder. And I think a large contributing factor for this is because there are some instances with euthanasia where the pet might have got better – for example, with Dolly when there was another treatment they could have done – but it’s about weighing things up and determining whether it’s fair to let them suffer any longer in the hope that they’ll pull through. And it’s about determining how likely or unlikely it is too.

So, here’s ten tips to coping with this moment if your pet is poorly:

1. Ask Your Vet to Explain All Options Clearly

Ask about the different treatment options, including benefits, risks, costs, and likely outcomes. Understanding the choices available can help you feel more confident in your decision.

2. Ask Questions Until You Feel Comfortable

If something is unclear, ask the vet to explain it again or in simpler terms. It’s important that you fully understand the information before deciding.

3. Focus on Your Pet’s Quality of Life

When making decisions, think about what will give your pet the best comfort and quality of life, rather than focusing only on extending life at all costs.

4. Take Time to Think if Possible

If the decision is not urgent, ask for time to consider your options. A short period to reflect can help reduce pressure and allow you to make a calmer decision.

5. Discuss the Decision With Someone You Trust

Talking things through with a family member or friend can help you process your thoughts and emotions. Another perspective may help you feel more supported.

6. Write Down the Pros and Cons

Making a simple list of the advantages and disadvantages of each option can help organise your thoughts and make the decision feel more manageable.

7. Accept That There May Not Be a “Perfect” Choice

In many cases there is no perfect answer—only the best possible decision based on the situation. Accepting this can reduce the pressure you place on yourself.

8. Remember That You Know Your Pet Best

You understand your pet’s personality, behaviour, and tolerance for stress better than anyone. This knowledge can help guide decisions that suit them.

9. Be Compassionate Toward Yourself

Owners often feel guilt or fear about making the wrong choice. Remind yourself that you are making the decision out of care and love for your pet.

10. Seek Emotional Support if Needed

Making medical decisions for a pet can be emotionally heavy. Speaking with supportive friends, family members, or a counsellor can help you process the stress and emotions involved.

Finally, the physical impact that a poorly pet can have on you is another tricky aspect to cope with, and I think it’s one that some people don’t recognise or admit to because they worry it sounds selfish. As though, who am I to complain about losing sleep because I have to administer critical care feeding to my rabbit every three hours through the night and all day when she’s the one that could die?! And do you know what? I don’t think I need to say anything else about it, other than that! So, for the final time in this blog post, here are ten tips to cope with this aspect of having a poorly pet:

1. Rest Whenever You Can

If your pet needs care during the night, try to rest when possible, during the day. Even short naps can help reduce fatigue and improve concentration.

2. Share Responsibilities if Possible

If you live with others, try to divide tasks such as administering medication or monitoring your pet. Sharing the workload can reduce sleep disruption and exhaustion.

3. Set Reminders for Medication

Using phone alarms or reminders can help you keep track of medication schedules without constantly worrying about forgetting, which can reduce stress and mental fatigue.

4. Stay Hydrated and Eat Regularly

When focusing on a sick pet, it can be easy to forget basic needs. Drinking enough water and eating balanced meals helps maintain energy levels and supports overall health.

5. Take Short Breaks to Recharge

Step away briefly, when possible, to stretch, breathe, or get some fresh air. Short breaks can help relieve tension and reduce physical stress symptoms.

6. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Techniques such as slow breathing, gentle stretching, or mindfulness can help reduce stress-related symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, and fatigue.

7. Keep a Comfortable Care Setup

Prepare a comfortable area with the supplies you need (medications, blankets, water, etc.). This reduces unnecessary movement and physical strain during frequent care tasks.

8. Maintain a Basic Sleep Routine

Even if sleep is interrupted, try to go to bed and wake up at roughly the same times. A consistent routine can help your body get better quality rest.

9. Listen to Your Body

If you notice signs of physical stress such as persistent headaches, exhaustion, or muscle pain, it may be a signal to slow down, rest, or ask for help.

10. Seek Support if the Strain Becomes Too Much

If the physical demands become overwhelming, consider asking for help from family members, friends, or pet care services so you can recover and protect your health.