On Thursday night, it was as though one of my auditory hallucinations had suddenly realised that I might get the chance to runaway on my Home Leave and that I'd have a lot of money with me. I didn't want to do that so I quickly got PRN medication and had a chat with the Nurse, she then passed it onto the day staff on Friday so one of those Nurses' spoke to me and then she said she wanted the Ward Doctor to speak to me. I ended up telling her quite a lot and was a little worried it would cause her to stop my leave but I ignored my fear because on too many occasions I've not spoke up at fear of the repercussions and I just told myself that if I get everything out to her then it might make me feel better and if she properly understood she would still let me go home; so I had a bit of faith and what do you know - the staff came up trumps once again! :D
Before I left the ward one of the girls gave me £20 and then at lunchtime the DBT Facilitator brought some chocolate éclairs in for my Birthday and I told her that in the past I was materialistic that I would've been thinking about what to buy with the money but now, the thought that went into the deserts, meant more to me.
I surprised my Mum at work and she almost cried! And then, for the first time in almost two years, when I walked through the front door at home, I didn't feel like a visitor. It felt as though I'd just been there the other night and had popped round again. I was also really happy that everything was so much better; quieter, peaceful and happier.
On my Birthday (today!) I got lots of lovely presents from mum and then we went shopping and it was lovely; I got so many lovely things and my lunchtime meds didn't even make me drowsy until we were on the bus coming back home. We went out for a meal and although the plan was to go on to a posh hotel for drinks, I was so tired and I told my Mum that if we'd went to the hotel I would've been unhappy so we came home.
I had a bath and now I'm all cosy with my cat!
Lovely Birthday, here's some pics:
Thank you all for the birthday messages!