- Not speaking up when someone displays discrimination towards mental health issues just adds fuel to the fire. If we don't speak up when we're treat poorly by Police etc then they'll continue to conduct themselves in this way and with other service users. They need to realise that it is not acceptable to treat someone with mental ill health differently and with less respect than others. A recent example: A police officer came to my home at 10pm to tell me that a doorbell was stolen and the CCTV looked as though it were me. He told me the person who's doorbell was stolen had a disability. And I said "so do I but yous don't seem to regard mental health as highly as physical." I subsequently put a complaint in and was given an apology by the Sergeant who promised that the officer would be spoken to. There's too many incidents when I have felt that I deserved to be treat badly and haven't spoke up about it but I've come to realise that as long as I keep doing that, it will continue to happen. And if me putting that complaint in means that the officer doesn't treat another person like that then it was worth it.
- My instinct of self-harming when a professional lets me down in the hope it'll make them feel bad and be sorry, is wrong. The best way to get an apology or to show that someone has upset you is to be calm and mature about it. If I overdosed when I felt let-down then the only person it would punish would be myself when I'm sat in A&E for hours!
- Making the most of my good days means that when I'm having a bad day and don't want to leave my home, I don't feel so bad for it. Being in a hospital for so long where having a bad day and struggling can lead to bad consequences e.g. loss of leave and having your bedroom locked, has meant I still worry to admit I'm struggling. But there's no such consequences now and that can be both a good thing and a bad thing. It's bad because on a difficult day I can think that if I self-harmed I'd still be able to be in my home with my things around me and the ability to go for a walk whenever I want. It can be good because it means that I can be more open when I'm struggling and get the support I might need.
- I thought that after all of the therapy and 1:1 talks I had in hospital about the 'trauma' I had laid it to rest upon my discharge. But that hasn't been the case, as being back in the area where it occurred has brought it back to the surface and made it feel quite raw again. And I've felt there's no one I could talk to about that because there isn't a single person in my life now that knows as much as the Doctor in hospital knew.
- I've never had the confidence to tell new people that I'm a blogger when they ask what I do. I always tell them about my job with Blind Veterans and then my blog usually comes up in the conversation at some point. I guess that I often feel that the people I'm talking to would sort of look down at me and think I was a lay-about and not realise how much work goes into maintaining a popular blog. After being introduced as 'the blogger' at the recent event I attended, and receiving a warm and respectful response, I think I've developed the confidence to tell people "I'm a blogger."
As a little P.S. I'd just like to announce the launch of a new series of blog posts; starting on Monday (6th April) there will be a Q&A with a different person diagnosed with BPD each day for a week.
HAPPY EASTER!
