Monday, 26 October 2015

Always Have Hope


Two years ago, I was in ICU at a hospital in Bradford. I was sectioned, 200 miles from home and on life support because of a suicide attempt. To say I felt hopeless (when I was taken off life support) was an understatement. I was convinced that I'd kill myself. 
If, at that time, you'd told me what I'd be doing two years later, I would've laughed in your face and reassured you I'd be dead long before then. Because now, I have my own home, a lovely kitten, over 106,000 views on my blog, a request to facilitate blogging workshops at the new College in my area, and an invite to the Mind Media Awards being presented by Jo Brand. I've also just had the most amazing experience in watching Moscow Ballet perform Swan Lake at the theatre with my Mum. 
I'd like this to be motivation for others who are struggling a lot at the moment, or who aren't so far into their recovery journey. I'd like my experiences to instill hope in those who feel hopeless, sad, scared, alone, depressed, anxious, distant and suicidal. But I'm not stupid; two years ago, if some girl said to me 'I used to feel suicidal and now look at me' I'd have given them the cold shoulder; convinced she didn't have a clue how I felt or how determined I was to end my life. So, if you're reading this and thinking that, I was also in that place two years ago. Please trust me when I tell you that there is hope for EVERYONE. Everyone has a chance.