I'd say that I haven't had a lot of relationships; the usual 'holding-hands-in-the-playground' kind of thing, the odd flirt with the boys in the year above in High School, and then Ronnie. I'm not going into details about our relationship because it's one of the few things that I regard as private. We were together for three years with half of that being when we were engaged; and the entirety of it being when I was at my most poorly. We became official in January 2009 and I started hearing voices in the June; so he was there from the beginning but strangely, we never really talked about my hallucinations and suicidal tendencies, yet he was still by my side. He would take me to hospital, sit with me in A&E, hold my hand through the needles and visit me when I had been admitted. One memory in particular was when they drilled into my shin bone and it was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. I was holding/crushing his hand the entire time. This did mean that the majority of our time together was spent in waiting rooms, A&E, and visiting rooms. But still, we did fun stuff too: road trips, weekends away, nights out... All of these memories and the fact I have a wedding planner, means Ronnie will always have a little place in my heart. Personally, it is essential that you get yourself out of a relationship when it stops making you happy.
The socially acceptable one: Alfie Deyes aka Pointless Blog
What I look for in a man (all who qualify, please email me! firstname.lastname@example.org
Funny, attractive (not too skinny, facial hair, not much taller than me!), romantic, same taste in music, supportive, a cat lover (CRUCIAL!), understanding, brave, protective, kind, comforting, likes horror movies, isn't a party animal, hard worker, passionate, helpful, similar future plans as me (regarding home life etc.), devoted, same age or older, tidy, living nearby
My thoughts on love
Everyone should experience unconditional love at least once in a lifetime. When love hurts you're allowed to be sad for a while, but you have to get back up, dust yourself off and learn from it. Don't give up on love if you have a bad experience of it. Don't pressure yourself into finding love by a certain age. You can love someone (romantically) and the relationship still end. Don't make rules for yourself e.g. "if he cheats it's over," because the circumstances might change such a rule. Don't just take interest in those who are your 'type.' It can hurt, but it's still one of the greatest feelings in the world. If you feel that you don't deserve love (a usual thought in those with mental ill health) then you'll never give yourself the chance to disprove this.
My favourite romantic movies (in no particular order):
1. The Fault In Our Stars - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2582846/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fault-Our-Stars-DVD/dp/B00JLC57OW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1455200871&sr=8-2&keywords=the+fault+in+our+stars
2. If I stay - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1355630/
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Stay-DVD-Chloë-Grace-Moretz/dp/B00N4W4M4Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1455201542&sr=8-2&keywords=If+I+stay
3. Just Married - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0305711/?ref_=nv_sr_2
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Just-Married-DVD-Ashton-Kutcher/dp/B00009WW28/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1455201824&sr=8-4&keywords=just+married
4. Beauty and the Beast - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101414/
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beauty-Beast-DVD-Gary-Trousdale/dp/B00KLC7XZ2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455202092&sr=8-1&keywords=beauty+and+the+beast
5. Remember Me - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1403981/?ref_=nv_sr_3
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Remember-Me-DVD-Robert-Pattinson/dp/B003FTABUM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455202199&sr=8-1&keywords=remember+me
Not in a relationship?
This year, I'll be spending Valentines Day at home with Dolly (my cat). In Hospital, I was taught about using the skill of self-soothing to pick up my mood and just generally make me feel better. So this it what I'll be doing on the 14th. I'm going to do no work; no blogging, no meetings, no events etc. I'm going to have a lie-in, watch tons of YouTube, do some beauty pampering, eat lots of calorie filled goodness, watch a horror and have regular Facebook, Twitter and Instagram refreshing and scrolling sessions.
If you haven't got a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, then that doesn't mean you can't take advantage of the day when we celebrate love. Treat yourself. Do something to make yourself smile. Indulge in guilty pleasures. Be grateful for those in your life that love you and who you love e.g. family and friends.
If you're in need of A LOT of love this Valentines, then check out my post from valentines 2015