THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO PINTEREST & MENTAL HEALTH | PART TWO

Part One:

http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2021/03/the-ultimate-guide-to-pinterest-mental.html

“Do what you can with all you have, wherever you are.”

Theodore Roosevelt

This post has actually become something it wasn’t going to be when I first thought of it and started planning it! Initially, I thought that it would just be a ton of images created on Canva, but in creating the images, I began thinking a lot about what they mean, how important they can be, and how they can impact mental health…

METHOD OF CREATIVITY:

I think I’ve been a creative person since I was little. I used to make collages with my Nana out of torn up catalogues and then I began writing short stories about horses! The writing sort of fizzled out when I got older, but for a few years I wanted to be a fashion designer, so I opted to study Textiles for my exams.

Unfortunately, I had a really terrible subject teacher who would constantly undermine my work and criticise my understanding of the briefing we’d be given to inspire our projects. It was as though – only with me – she couldn’t decide whether she wanted literal interpretations of the topic or imaginative. I couldn’t win. Couldn’t get anything right. And it really knocked all the confidence and passion I had in my creativity, leaving me with absolutely no drive or interest in pursuing some sort of career in the industry.

I don’t think it was until my second psychiatric hospital admission after a suicide attempt that I re-discovered creativity; and more specifically, writing. I think it was a truly pure moment when I just felt that writing how I felt and what I had experienced for the staff, was the most natural and obvious way to get help and support, and to recover.

WHY I DIDN’T TAKE PART IN DIGITAL DETOX DAY 2020

https://www.digitaldetoxday.org/

I first heard about Digital Detox Day when I visited Zoe Sugg’s Instagram account and read her post on the campaign she’s created alongside I Am Whole to shed light on the negative impact social media can have on your mental health and life in general. Zoe explained that the thought process behind the campaign was based on the realization that we are ‘endlessly scrolling’, comparing, judging, being cyber bullied, losing boundaries, and don’t know when to ‘switch off’ from social media. She says that all of this can be a cause of Anxiety, Depression, Sleeplessness, Loneliness, and low Self-Esteem.

Initially, I almost automatically decided to join in, read up on the campaign, and do the digital detox on September 5^th, 2020 (tomorrow). Then I started writing a post about the campaign for LEAPS (you can read the post here) and talking about my ‘digital journey’ really left me reconsidering my decision and feeling hugely tempted not to partake in the event. Writing about how I’ve progressed through social media and my blog really made me realize just how important the digital world has all become to me and that this isn’t necessarily unhealthy or unsafe.

SIX PINTEREST PICS THAT SUM UP MY LIFE

Take a peek inside my Pinterest boards and my motivations behind some of my favourite pins with links to my favourite boards…

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/aimeswilson/

LONDON https://www.pinterest.co.uk/aimeswilson/london/

I remember my first visit to London when I was eighteen and my Mum took me down there for my Birthday. We had one of those theatre weekends booked where you get train fayre, a hotel room, and a night at a show of your choice in one packaged price. We chose The Lion King because it’s one of my favourite Disney movies and makes me cry every single time I watch it – no matter how old I get! Since then I’ve visited London on a number of occasions and for a number of different reasons; we visited again to see Legally Blonde on my 21^st Birthday, attended a party at Buckingham Palace to celebrate Blind Veterans 100^th Birthday, and I’ve attended numerous conferences, meetings, and events there. At one point, I was in London so often that I seriously considered moving down there. And then one of the terrorist attacks happened. And I was round the corner. It was when the man was found near Westminster with a bag full of knives. I remember leaving the event in the taxi and people were running, screaming towards us whilst Police riot vans raced in the opposite direction. After a little while, I couldn’t let it stop me from visiting the city that I’d grown to love so much.

WHY WE SHOULD ALL HAVE A ROLE MODEL

When I first started blogging there were three mental health blogs out there: one by a ex-service user, another by a mental health nurse, and one by a Police Officer with an interest in mental health. I was (to my knowledge) the only inpatient to be blogging. Looking back, I guess it makes sense that I was kind of floundering in my first year or so with I’m NOT Disordered; I had no one to look up to, no one to find inspiration in, no one to aspire to.

MY TWELVE FAVOURITE WOMEN | HAPPY (BELATED) INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!!

Happy (Belated) International Women’s Day!!

In this post, I’d like to discuss my ten favourite women in the world, and why they’re such an inspiration to me.

My Mum

This was an obvious one for me; my Mum and I are very close, and she has been one of my biggest supporters through my mental health struggles and recovery. My Mum is hugely independent; she has to have at least one hundred goes at doing something herself before she asks for help! If I am half the Mother she is when I have children, then my kids will be very lucky!

My Aunt

I don’t talk about my Aunt often on my blog because she lives in Dubai but she makes the most incredible effort to keep in touch with the whole UK family. My Aunt is very family oriented and, in a family, where drama should be our surname, that takes a lot of strength! We’ll always be bonded by the fact that we were the only two unable to say goodbye to my Nana. That’s a horrible thing to have in common but it’s also a very powerful thing.

WEEK FOUR | 52 LISTS FOR HAPPINESS | OLIVER BONAS | AD

You can buy this book here

Every week, for 2018 there will be post of what I’ve done in the book each week. And the fourth list?

List the things that get you out of your head:

Zoella and I'm NOT Disordered?

Now my dream and reality is simultaneous,

And work your own way to the top,

If they put you on a pedestal, they can take you off,

And there's a higher level than the top

I'm hoping that this post might inspire budding bloggers to begin putting their thoughts and plans into action by taking that all important first step and creating your account on the blog platform of your choice. But I'm also hoping that newcomers to the blog-o-sphere who are perhaps feeling like they aren't getting anywhere; that things are moving too slowly, will be motivated to carry on typing.
Probably one of the most common things that I am asked by readers is "how do you carry it on? I gave up my blog after a few posts." This usually invokes memories from when I first began blogging; three and a half years ago, there wasn't a lot out there about bloggers and the successes they experience these days; and so my motivation to blog began and ended in documenting my journey through mental health recovery. I think that this factor was essential in my continued blogging whilst my readers took months to get to 100; because I didn't care. I wasn't doing it for the views. These days, it's understandable that some might go into blogging having heard that those successful in it, are offered the most amazing opportunities and can become very rich. When these people see that this does not happen overnight, some are often discouraged; and perhaps that is a good thing because blogging for money and fame etc. is not the right reason to become a blogger.
You need passion. Determination. Persistence. Dedication.
In blogging, I've found my calling in life. And after years of unhappiness, feeling unworthy, and as though my life is pointless and has no meaning; this feeling is a huge force behind my continued blogging. Once I realised that I had found the career I would most likely stay in for the rest of my life, I looked for inspiration: role models. I first came across Zoella when she hit the one million subscribers mark on YouTube, and I followed her journey from there; through launching a beauty line, to getting a puppy, to buying a million pound house. When I watched her best friend cry at the beauty launch, saying "I just remember when we started all of this; filming in our bedrooms..." I recognised this as a thought I'd had often recently; it had all become so surreal and overwhelming to think of the position I was in when I'm NOT Disordered was born, to the crazy opportunities I was being offered. I remember when the room was being set up for my 100k+ party in November and there were flags with my blog's name on!

I watched Zoella's YouTube videos from the very beginning of her channel, and was encouraged to see that she started out like any other YouTuber and Blogger; with an uncertainty, nervousness and worry that no one might care what she had to say. But they did. And it spiralled. I found the perfect example of how overwhelming this can be in one of her videos where her car is surrounded by fans and she starts crying. I still have 'is-this-really-my-life?' moments; for example when I walked into a newsagents and saw my photo on the front page of a newspaper, and then a magazine... And sometimes I'm rushing around at an event and I pause, look around, and smile to myself. It can be incredibly overwhelming, but I make that into a positive thing and not negative; so that I can enjoy, and make the most of this craziness!
For a while, I got it into my head that having a successful blog meant that you were being gifted tons of beauty products. So, that's what I worked to achieve. And I was sent freebies. But it didn't mean anything to me; I wasn't smitten with the packaging, or knowledgeable on pigment and consistency, and I certainly couldn't review the products to the standards of a blogger with a focus on beauty. It wasn't relevant to my audience and it didn't make me happy. So I came up other goals that were focused in MY blogging focus; mental health. I decided I wanted to write for such-and-such a blog. Volunteer and such-such event. Work with such-and-such organisation. And every time I've achieved these, I set more. And I immediately saw the difference from my old way of thinking: I was happier for achieving things that meant more to me, and as I posted about events, campaigns and partnerships, so were you guys!
Zoella now has over 10 million subscribers, and there are over 128,000 of you reading this.
My message through this post is: don't look at the success of others and use it to judge your own. View them as inspiration and not standards. See the similarities. Acknowledge what you have achieved. Decide what your next goal is. And recognise the differences in your journeys...

'Try not to get lost in comparing yourself to others. Discover your gifts and let them shine!'
- Jennie Finch 

Happy Valentines Day

This post is going to be a bit of a mess, because I couldn't decide what I wanted to do with it. So, here's a bit of everything:
Relationships
I'd say that I haven't had a lot of relationships; the usual 'holding-hands-in-the-playground' kind of thing, the odd flirt with the boys in the year above in High School, and then Ronnie. I'm not going into details about our relationship because it's one of the few things that I regard as private. We were together for three years with half of that being when we were engaged; and the entirety of it being when I was at my most poorly. We became official in January 2009 and I started hearing voices in the June; so he was there from the beginning but strangely, we never really talked about my hallucinations and suicidal tendencies, yet he was still by my side. He would take me to hospital, sit with me in A&E, hold my hand through the needles and visit me when I had been admitted. One memory in particular was when they drilled into my shin bone and it was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. I was holding/crushing his hand the entire time. This did mean that the majority of our time together was spent in waiting rooms, A&E, and visiting rooms. But still, we did fun stuff too: road trips, weekends away, nights out... All of these memories and the fact I have a wedding planner, means Ronnie will always have a little place in my heart. Personally, it is essential that you get yourself out of a relationship when it stops making you happy.

My crushes
The socially acceptable one: Alfie Deyes aka Pointless Blog

And the weird one: Jon Richardson

My girl crush: Zoella aka Zoe Sugg - 

What I look for in a man (all who qualify, please email me! aimeewilson@live.co.uk
Funny, attractive (not too skinny, facial hair, not much taller than me!), romantic, same taste in music, supportive, a cat lover (CRUCIAL!), understanding, brave, protective, kind, comforting, likes horror movies, isn't a party animal, hard worker, passionate, helpful, similar future plans as me (regarding home life etc.), devoted, same age or older, tidy, living nearby

My thoughts on love
Everyone should experience unconditional love at least once in a lifetime. When love hurts you're allowed to be sad for a while, but you have to get back up, dust yourself off and learn from it. Don't give up on love if you have a bad experience of it. Don't pressure yourself into finding love by a certain age. You can love someone (romantically) and the relationship still end. Don't make rules for yourself e.g. "if he cheats it's over," because the circumstances might change such a rule. Don't just take interest in those who are your 'type.' It can hurt, but it's still one of the greatest feelings in the world. If you feel that you don't deserve love (a usual thought in those with mental ill health) then you'll never give yourself the chance to disprove this.

My favourite romantic movies (in no particular order):
1. The Fault In Our Stars - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2582846/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fault-Our-Stars-DVD/dp/B00JLC57OW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1455200871&sr=8-2&keywords=the+fault+in+our+stars
2. If I stay - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1355630/
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Stay-DVD-Chloë-Grace-Moretz/dp/B00N4W4M4Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1455201542&sr=8-2&keywords=If+I+stay
3. Just Married - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0305711/?ref_=nv_sr_2
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Just-Married-DVD-Ashton-Kutcher/dp/B00009WW28/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1455201824&sr=8-4&keywords=just+married
4. Beauty and the Beast - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101414/
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beauty-Beast-DVD-Gary-Trousdale/dp/B00KLC7XZ2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455202092&sr=8-1&keywords=beauty+and+the+beast
5. Remember Me - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1403981/?ref_=nv_sr_3
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Remember-Me-DVD-Robert-Pattinson/dp/B003FTABUM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455202199&sr=8-1&keywords=remember+me

Not in a relationship?
This year, I'll be spending Valentines Day at home with Dolly (my cat). In Hospital, I was taught about using the skill of self-soothing to pick up my mood and just generally make me feel better. So this it what I'll be doing on the 14th. I'm going to do no work; no blogging, no meetings, no events etc. I'm going to have a lie-in, watch tons of YouTube, do some beauty pampering, eat lots of calorie filled goodness, watch a horror and have regular Facebook, Twitter and Instagram refreshing and scrolling sessions.
If you haven't got a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, then that doesn't mean you can't take advantage of the day when we celebrate love. Treat yourself. Do something to make yourself smile. Indulge in guilty pleasures. Be grateful for those in your life that love you and who you love e.g. family and friends.

If you're in need of A LOT of love this Valentines, then check out my post from valentines 2015 

Blogger Privacy

Those who know me, will know that I've followed Zoella (Zoe Sugg) for quite a while (admittedly nothing compared to how long she's been YouTubing/blogging for. I can't even remember why I began following her but it was not long before she became a household name after launching her beauty range. I look up to her for many reasons; the most obvious being the success of her blog/YouTube, but I also admire that she too entered this industry as a total novice and has learnt as she went. Admittedly I do sometimes question whether opportunities are handed to her on a plate, but watching her vlogs you can see how hard she works on both editing her videos and writing her books/attending meetings to plan new products. And so, I fully believe that she and Alfie Deyes (PointlessBlog) have earn their million pound home.
I think that there was a mention of fans finding their home in one of their vlogs but the internet exploded two days ago when Zoe tweeted 'Really starting to lose my patience with people just turning up at our house & peering in or ringing our doorbell 😔 makes me hate my house! 😢' and around the same time, Alfie also tweeted 'Parents who drive their kids to our home & put them on their shoulders so they can lean over our walls to try and take pictures of us without us realising... I see you! I'm on the sofa in my pyjamas relaxing. Go away. If you want to meet me, I'd love that! Come to a meet up just like everyone else who wants to meet me does! You can't just drive to my house & climb our walls, that's really not fair.'
Of course there was a surge of responses with such a variety of opinions. Everyone who expressed their views was immediately jumped on by others who either agreed or disagreed. As I read through some comments I formed my own replies but resisted posting anything at fear of starting drama.
The most popular point of those who weren't on Zoe and Alfie's side, was to say that filming their private lives had made them and famous and so they should've realised what they were getting themselves into. 'Welcome to the famous life. Didn't you see this coming at all?' Zoe and Alfie promtly pointed out (correctly, in my opinion) that in beginning their YouTube channels, they'd never set out to become 'famous' and that even still, that shouldn't mean they should tolerate an invasion of their privacy. I feel that in some ways, I can relate to this. I don't mean to sound big-headed in saying this, but I'm well known in mental health through my blog and if readers started showing up at my little bungalow I'd be mortified. However, I am very grateful that it is almost solely in that area that I'm known so there's little chance someone will stop me at the shops as they regularly do with Alfie and Zoella. But like them, I started my blog to document my recovery for myself to look back on. There are many bloggers out there who begin their blog or YouTube channel in the hope of becoming well known and making some money. Alfie and Zoe were never those people.
One aspect of this entire debate/incident/Twitter war, that I can completely relate to is that people assume that because you do disclose aspects of your life that some may view as private and personal, then you must be sharing everything. Many YouTubers regularly point out that their vlogs are edited and a twenty four hour day is often condensed in under twenty minutes, never mind that they rarely vlog whilst having a bad day.
I think that perhaps discussing my mental health, the abuse I've suffered and feeling suicidal, makes me more vulnerable to this. But the amount of important things going on in my life that I can't discuss is probably unbelievable to readers. And one reason that I never discuss one aspect is that the person involved wants to maintain their privacy. And I respect that. Because I believe it is an individual preference.
Finally, a lot of people are arguing that the two never complain about the money they make but neither do the footballers who are paid ridiculous amounts per match. At the end of the day, no matter how 'perfect' you may deem someone's life to be, they will always have something that they aren't happy with in their life.
No matter tear what your occupation, everyone deserves privacy and to feel safe in their own home.