Saturday, 16 September 2017

HOW I GET MY MOJO BACK:

MOJO (məʊdʒəʊ)
Word forms: plural mojos, plural mojoes
countable noun
Your mojo is your personal power or influence over other people
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/mojo
A quality that attracts people to you and makes you successful and full of energy
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/mojo

I think that ‘mojo’ is one of those awesomely funny words that can naturally pop up in a sentence but if you stop and think about it… it’s a bit of a peculiar word. I think it’s one that people can have their own definitions for but hopefully, this post will embody all these possibilities…
NOTE: These are the things that affect my mojo and the ways and inspirations I use to improve them; they may not be the same as yours and you may need to use/discover different ways to improve your own.
WHEN I’M LOW ON CONFIDENCE…
I read something positive about my work and/or I’m NOT Disordered (my blogging).
I’m one of those people who can’t blow their own trumpet but I’ve learnt over time that acknowledging your strengths can be an essential part in having a good mental health. So there are times when I publish a post and mention that I’m quite proud if I’ve put lots of time or effort into it. That can be difficult if you’ve had previous experience (as I have) of bullying and are reluctant to say such a thing at risk of making yourself vulnerable and having others use your strength, and turn it into a negative thing. For example, when someone is happy with their body and weight, they become ‘full of’ themselves; or even if someone is expressing a positive feeling or moment in their life they can be labelled as ‘rubbing it’ in the faces of those who are experiencing difficulties. A bully will find something negative from the most wonderful thing but that is about them and not you. It can be easy to focus on negative comments and criticism – especially on your social media, but it affects your happiness so it’s something that you have to learn not to do. It’s good to be aware of those who are trying to help you to improve your work but it’s important to remember that you can’t please everyone. There are over a quarter of a million people reading I’m NOT Disordered now and there’ll be some who don’t like what they read. So, I read the comments of those who do like it. And I remember them. And I write for those people.
WHEN I’M DOUBTING MYSELF…

I acknowledge my awesome-ness!
This is a hard one! Reading positive comments and feedback can be helpful, but I also take a lot of inspiration from this video (she knows she’s good! She knows she’s rocked it! And she celebrates it at the end with a giant fist pump!):
WHEN I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE…
I remind myself of the growth it has taken to get to how far I’ve come.
For example, three years ago today I was being discharged from the psychiatric hospital in which I'd lived for two and a half years; and now I've just spent the night planning my wedding with all of my bridesmaids. I also take great inspiration from Grace Vanderwaal. In this YouTube compilation of her America’s Got Talent performances (from auditions to the final) you can see her grow from being shy, and doubtful and hoping ‘that there’s more to come’ to feeling ‘like a flower’ that’s just opened up beneath the sun and realising she wants to win but she still doesn’t know why. Then finally, “I think I can do it!”


WHEN I’M FEELING LONELY…
I read/watch/listen to others who have overcome similar thoughts, feelings, and emotions
This is quite straightforward and easy in the online mental health industry and I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who can help me with this (though not lucky that those people have had to go through these things in order to be helpful!). It’s easy to hear stories and think ‘he/she had it so much worse and I’m complaining about this stupid thing!’ but it’s important to remember that what is happening to you is completely separate and a big thing in your own life. We can’t keep a measurement of the pain of others in order to control our own. So it’s important not to find yourself doing this or simply discussing negative feelings with those experiencing them and not gaining anything (positive) from it. Below is a video of Blogger/Youtuber Victoria from In The Frow talking about lots of the above! It helps if the person you ‘turn to’ in these times is someone who you actually look up to, and are inspired by on a whole. Victoria works tirelessly on her YouTube channel and blog and when others have opportunities handed to them for the sake of their name, Victoria works her ass off to earn her opportunities and puts the work in to make her dreams come true.
WHEN I’M FEELING HOPELESS…
I get advice!
This is something I’ve experienced recently when I was in the middle of a piece of work telling people how to respond to mental health and someone came out with the very things we were telling everyone not to say/do. (That’s me trying not to outright tell you the situation at fear of retribution…) After the work, I felt hopeless. I thought ‘why are we bothering to fight this stigma?! We aren’t winning! We aren’t getting anywhere!’ I spoke to my Mum on the phone and she told me “I raised you to be a fighter! Don’t walk away!” In the right situation; it’s good to be reminded of what people think of you/expect of you – in a situation where it’s not about you letting others down, it’s that they’ve let you down and you need that motivation to carry on kicking ass! To get your mojo back and go back out there. Don’t give up. It says more about you than it does about those who disappointed you.


WHEN I NEED A REMINDER ON WHY I’M ‘DOING THIS’…

I watch this:

This video helps me to see that just a normal girl who started blogging in her bedroom on crappy technology, could turn her days into absolute dreams! It reminds me of the change that you can see when you have just use some effort and determination.


WHEN I NEED A KICK UP THE ASS…

I listen to the songs (with the lyrics) that inspire me to get back up and keep going!
Sometimes it's about the performance and (in the case of two of the videos) the back-story and situation in which the songs are being sung.