It’s
my God-Daughter’s Fourth Birthday very soon and it had me thinking about the
things I wish she could know now to save from her having to learn them the hard
way – through experience…
(I
decided to throw in some light-hearted lessons too because otherwise, it wasn't going to be a very fun post!)
1.
Your heart has to be broken to strengthen it
It’s
no secret that I went through a very monumentus relationship break-up last year
(2018) and I remember in the early days of it, I would have panic attacks
whenever I thought about what had happened. Finally, though, I can see that the
heart does repair and even though you might still be able to see the cracks,
the rest of it will be stronger than before.
2.
It’s
impossible to not receive ‘junk’ emails
I’m
one of those people who religiously goes through her junk e’mail inbox every time
I check my e’mails because I can’t stand it saying that I have sixty-odd unread
messages! I think the only way you could ever avoid spam would be by not being
online at all!
3.
Asking for
help doesn’t make you weak
To
learn this lesson you’ll have your determination and independence tested. I was
someone who wouldn’t ask for help; no matter how dire the situation! Sometimes
that meant insignificant situations like being lost and refusing to Google Map
directions; and sometimes it meant not wanting to ring the Crisis Team when I
was hallucinating. Through my mental health, I’ve learnt that needing to ask for
help isn’t something to be ashamed of; in fact, it takes a lot of strength to
do so.
4.
Amazon sells
EVERYTHING at a reasonable price (not an AD!)
There’s
been so many things that I’ve bought from shops and I’ve complained about the
cost and people have gone ‘you could’ve got that on Amazon for half the price!’
Now, it’s the first site I go to for anything and everything!
5.
There’ll
always be pressure in society for you to change
You’re
too fat. You’re too skinny. Those shoes are hideous. You shouldn’t support that
political party. You need to read different books. You wear too much make-up.
You don’t wear enough make-up. With social media being so popular, it means it has
the potential have a huge influence on a person’s life. If you’re facing – what
feels like – a constant barrage of criticisms and new standards to adhere to,
it can be really destabilizing.
6.
Alcohol isn’t
always your friend
I
remember the days when I was constantly going on nights out with friends,
getting so drunk I danced until my feet hurt, ate cold kebab, and flirted like
it was my favourite past-time! The hangovers were often horrendous, but I always
pulled through in time for the next night out! These days, I just don’t see the
appeal. To be fair, I don’t think it’s all about the fact that I grew up and
learnt you can have just as good a time without alcohol. It’s also about my
mental health and the negative impact alcohol has on it.
7.
During at least
one point in your life, you’ll question your morals
One
of my best-friends recently had some people make derogatory comments about
mental health and it reminded me of a training session with the Police when
their Trainer made similar comments and I worried that the new recruits would
follow in his footsteps… If you’re surrounded by people with a different
attitude to your own, then it’s hard to resist questioning whether your morals
are the ‘right’ ones.
8.
Your priorities
will change
One
of the (many) hard things I learnt through my mental health was that my
priorities had gone from studying for my A Level exams to wanting to be dead;
and all in the space of ten days! At the worst point, my family stopped being so
important to me. And at one point in my recovery, my medication stopped being a
priority. But it doesn’t always have to be a negative change. I’ve gone from prioritizing
self-harm to thinking about my safety. I’ve changed from pressuring myself into
going back into education to prioritizing doing the thing I enjoy the most – my
blog.
9.
Friendships
aren’t made to last forever
I’ve
had girls that I’ve thought would be in my life for the long-haul! Ones who didn’t
desert me when my mental health deteriorated. An important lesson I have learnt
with friendships, though, is that they don’t always end because of an argument
or a negative event. Sometimes, it’s just time. Sometimes the relationship just
runs its course and you naturally drift a part as you begin doing different
things with your lives.