“You’re all incredibly thoughtful souls who keep my head attached
to my body”
Jenny Sampirisi
Some time
ago, I connected with the Director of Quality, Patient Safety, Innovation and
Improvement for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) – Sarah Rushbrooke, and we got talking about a collaboration. She put me in touch
with NEAS’s lovely Mental Health Lead and their inspirational Communications Manager and
we had a few productive and exciting meetings, which have led to this piece…
CHALLENGE ONE: RECOGNISING THAT YOU NEED HELP
The first part for you interacting with NEAS and their Ambulance
crew is calling for one or finding yourself in a situation where someone calls
one for you. Either way, the call tends to happen because you’ve recognised
that you need help.
Initially, this was going to be ‘admitting that you need help’ but the word ‘admitting’ sounds like you are saying that you need help is some sort of weakness or an act that came out of being defeated. When I believe the exact opposite – recognising you need help and asking for it, are a sign of strength, resilience, and bravery. And I think this is particularly true for mental health related calls because in a world where self-harm and suicide are deemed to be ‘attention seeking,’ it takes a lot of nerve and courage to tell someone that you’ve done one of those things.
When I made my first suicide attempt way back in 2009(!), I just
wasn’t ready to accept the help and support that ended up being forced upon me…
I remember passing out at school and, in an almost absent-minded way, telling
them what I’d done, and they called an Ambulance. The crew told me that I needed
help, but I think that I was just so lost in the hallucinations that I’d been
experiencing for the past ten days that I just didn’t recognise I needed
support. I mean, the voices would almost constantly tell me that I deserved to
die and that I should make it happen; so how could I possibly hear or listen to
all the Ambulance crew – and then the Nurses and Doctors – telling me I needed
help and that I wasn’t as worthless as the voices had managed to convince me I
was?
It took about four years of me self-harming and making another
suicide attempt before I finally recognised, I needed help. In 2012, I had made
a suicide attempt that left me on life support in Intensive Care and when I
woke up, I was taken to a specialist psychiatric hospital. After one year in
that hospital, I managed to run away, but because I was detained under the 1983
Mental Health Act, the hospital called the Police. When they found me hours
later, I had made another attempt and after refusing treatment, I was put in a
coma and on life support.
When I woke up, the staff from the psychiatric hospital took me back, but instead of going back on the ward I’d been on, I was moved to the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU). I remember being sick all the time from the anaesthetic and medications that had saved my life and being terrified of being on the Unit I’d only ever heard screaming from. After being eyesight observations for a few days, I came to realise that I really didn’t want that to be my life. I didn’t want to spend years in a hospital, running away, hurting myself, feeling poorly… It was like a kick up the bum! A wake-up call. So that when I was finally moved back to the ward I’d been on, I began cooperating with the staff, taking my medication, engaging in therapy, and confiding in my Key Nurse and the loveliest Psychiatrist. And lo and behold, I was discharged a while later and whilst I’ve had ‘relapses’ in my recovery, I’ve never felt as terrible as I did back then.
Another difficulty in recognising you need help is when you’re making
comparisons about your health and the health of others. It’s incredibly ‘easy’
to look at someone and think that they’re ‘worse off’ than you. To think that
actually, you shouldn’t be complaining or crying or even struggling because
that other person is in a much more difficult situation. As though you should
be grateful and appreciative that life isn’t as ‘hard’ for you! It’s a very
straight road from that to being dismissive and disregarding your own health
problems, which can be so dangerous and unsafe.
There are also so many people who worry that calling an Ambulance
will take it away from someone who needs it ‘more.’ Well, rest assured, the
Call Handlers and Triage staff have an effective process to prioritise calls,
and life-threatening emergencies will always be attended to first.
These videos by NEAS will tell you everything you need to know
about calling an Ambulance:
ASK
A PARAMEDIC: When should I ring 999?
What
other options do I have to get help other than 999?
ASK
A PARAMEDIC: What information do I need to provide when I call 999?
What
happens when you call 999
ASK
A PARAMEDIC: How do you find me if I’m not at home?
ASK
A PARAMEDIC: Will an ambulance always be sent to me when I call 999?
How
quickly will you get to me?
CHALLENGE TWO: MANAGING ANXIETY & FEAR
Whilst the first biggest battle is recognising you need help, I
believe that the second is coping with any anxiety and fears that come up
during the time of ringing 999 and waiting for the Ambulance. I mean, just
because you’ve made a decision, it doesn’t mean carrying it out is in any way
‘easy’ or ‘simple.’
The first time I actually called an Ambulance was when I was
younger, and a friend’s Dad was having a diabetic crisis. I remember being
terrified purely with the thought that I didn’t know what to expect from
calling 999. And I think having no expectations or previous experience of
something, is a hugely contributing factor to anxiety and nervousness.
I’ve honestly never really thought of myself as an anxious person,
but only because whilst I was in the psychiatric hospital, I witnessed so many
of the other inpatients have panic attacks and feel so anxious that they needed
sedatives. So, I compared my own thoughts and feelings with theirs and came to
the conclusion that my anxiety just didn’t measure up. That it was in no way
more powerful or detrimental than that the other girls experienced.
Over time though, I’ve learnt that making comparisons and using
them to dismiss or disregard your own experiences, isn’t healthy. It isn’t
good, and it isn’t fair. I think this because everyone is different and what
might be a really challenging day for you, could be someone else’s definition
of a ‘good day.’ So, the only time that I believe comparison can be safe and
helpful is where you use it solely to gain perspective, gratitude, and
appreciation.
So, for me, anxiety usually takes the form of my hands shaking and
finding that I’m totally catastrophising things by imagining and panicking
about the worst – but also least(!) – possible outcome/situation happening. And
I think the times that this way of thinking is at its most dramatic, is when
it’s anything to do with my pets! I mean, I’m usually quite good at having
instincts with them in that when my first rabbit (Pixie) became poorly in April
2021, I said from the beginning that I had a bad feeling about it. That I had
the feeling that this wasn’t going to end well. And she was put to sleep April
22nd 2021.
Being in tune with the pet’s health, is something I do actually also
experience with my own, it’s just that I’d say that for my pets, I’m probably
more emotional! For me, I really struggle with having to go to hospital or go
in an Ambulance when it’s concerning something that I’ve never experienced
before. When I used to self-harm, I used the exact same method every time
because I would know what to expect from it. I mean, I’d know the side effects,
how long you had to wait before they could do blood tests, how long the
antidote treatment would take, the side effects to that treatment, what happens
when it’s done… And knowing those things, at a time when I felt as though I was
in constant mental/emotional/physical pain, was actually somewhat comforting!
Experiencing that notion of reassurance being when I’m totally
aware of what would happen if I were to self-harm in a particular way, has
meant that I’ve realised that one of the most helpful tools when you’re feeling
anxious and scared, is being able to recognise and accept what it is that’s led
you to feel that way. I think that this is the case because in doing that,
you’re in a much better position to get help. If you can tell someone why you
feel the way that you do, they can be more effective in offering you and
providing you with help and support for you to safely cope with those feelings.
Knowing the cause for your anxiety, can be really helpful in being
able to tell all of those you might interact with in calling 999 so that even
if you don’t know how to change those thoughts and feelings, they have the
opportunity to at least try to think up a way to help.
The NHS have some really useful information and tips on coping
with panic attacks:
How to cope with anxiety - NHS (www.nhs.uk)
These videos by NEAS will tell you everything you need to know
about what happens when Paramedics come, and what the inside of an Ambulance
looks like:
What
will happen when an ambulance comes out to me?
ASK
A PARAMEDIC: What treatment can you give me?
North East Ambulance Tour (Child)
CHALLENGE THREE: FEELING ALONE IN IT
With the theme of this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week being
‘loneliness,’ it was bound to come up in this blog post!
I think that the first instance where loneliness really comes into
things in the context of this post (anything to do with an ambulance!), is purely
just in being poorly – whether that’s with your mental or physical health. It
could literally be a broken leg or suicidal thoughts or a heart attack or
hallucinations; and no matter which, it’d be equally common to feel as though no
one else could possibly understand how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking,
and what you’re experiencing.
The fact that everyone is different – our level of pain tolerance
is varied, our coping methods can differ, our ability to effectively verbalise
what we’re experiencing can change – is really illustrated when there might
even be someone right there who has broken their leg in the exact same way
before, but you still feel like they just don’t ‘get it!’ This is one reason
why, if you’re asked to rate your pain on a scale of one to ten, it’s actually
helpful because it can be a much more efficient method of enabling the person
asking you, to really appreciate how you’re feeling.
There’s no real frequently used and understood ‘scale’ for mental
health though… So, you can say you’re suicidal without the ability to really be
clear about just how intense and unsafe that feels. But people tend to have more
words in mental health that’s definition is socially accepted. So, suicidal;
people label that as ‘someone wants to die.’ But if you’ve actually felt
suicidal, you’ll know there is so much more to it than that fundamentally
stereotypical assumption.
Feeling alone in your ailment – whatever it is – can be affected
(positively or negatively) by the response of the call handler when you’ve dialled
999. I mean, if they’re validating, approachable, friendly, and kind; you’re
less likely to think of yourself as totally alone in the situation. And the
absence of that loneliness can really help your mental health. I mean, if
you’re struggling with your safety or have just self-harmed or attempted
suicide, and are feeling like you have no one who can possibly even come close
to understanding or empathising with you, how likely are you to actually reach
out for help? And if you do get help, and that person leaves you feeling more
and more alone, what are the chances that you’ll continue to engage and
communicate with them, or that you’ll ever reach out again?
I think that the next instance of feeling alone in this scenario is
that because of the coronavirus pandemic and subsequent lockdowns, a lot of
hospitals have regulations in place that mean you’re unable to have a loved one
with you. This is probably particularly difficult for a young person (children
can be accompanied) or when it’s the first time you’ve attended the hospital. But
in all honesty, I’ve found it difficult(!) despite being in my 30’s and having
been to hospital numerous times! It’s hard when the Ambulance crew, Doctor,
Nurse or whoever is talking to you and telling you a diagnosis or more test
results and you realise that you need to remember all that information because
no one else is there to hear the bits that you might miss or forget about.
There’s also the fact that without another person being there, you might not
consider questions that someone from the outside looking in would have thought
of. There have been so many times that I’ve called my Mum to tell her the
results of blood tests or a scan and she’ll ask me something and I’ll be like
“oh! I didn’t ask them that!”
So, I think that the best things to do when you are feeling alone
is to talk to whoever actually is there – even if it’s a professional you’ve
never met. They’re there to take care of you and it’s important that you feel
you have understood everything that’s been said or done, so don’t be afraid to
ask lots of questions and to say that you need them to repeat something.
Watch this video to find out how NEAS can help and support a
worried or upset patient:
How
do you put patients at ease?
I really hope that this post has helped you in some way, and if
you have experiences (good or bad) of the North East Ambulance Service, then
please know that they’d love to hear your feedback so that they can learn –
whether that’s something they can discover that they’re doing right, or
something that they need to improve on. Just visit this link to leave your
comments:
To learn more about NEAS, discover some games and quizzes, and
arrange school visits:
Learning Zone - North East Ambulance Service - NHS
Foundation Trust (neas.nhs.uk)
North East Ambulance Service on Social Media:
North East Ambulance Service NHS Foundation Trust | Facebook
North
East Ambulance Service (@northeastambulance) • Instagram photos and videos
