THE BEFORE, DURING, & AFTER OF HAVING YOUR LIFE SAVED | CELEBRATING THE BBC 1 DOCUMENTARY ‘AMBULANCE’ FILMING NORTH EAST AMBULANCE SERVICE

 

“When people are going through the worst day of their lives, you’re that person standing right in front of them…” 

Kyle, NEAS Paramedic Apprentice 

 

You can watch the first few episodes: https://bbc.in/3pjjHVO  

 

On August 11^th, BBC One aired the first episode for the new season of Ambulance and this time, they’re following my local Ambulance Service: North East Ambulance Service (NEAS)! Of course, I watched it and tweeted throughout (@aimes_wilson), and all the thoughts and feelings it stirred in me, have inspired this post… 

THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES WHEN YOU’RE CALLING AN AMBULANCE | IN COLLABORATION WITH NORTH EAST AMBULANCE SERVICE

“You’re all incredibly thoughtful souls who keep my head attached to my body”

Jenny Sampirisi

 

Some time ago, I connected with the Director of Quality, Patient Safety, Innovation and Improvement for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) – Sarah Rushbrooke, and we got talking about a collaboration. She put me in touch with NEAS’s lovely Mental Health Lead and their inspirational Communications Manager and we had a few productive and exciting meetings, which have led to this piece…

 

CHALLENGE ONE: RECOGNISING THAT YOU NEED HELP

The first part for you interacting with NEAS and their Ambulance crew is calling for one or finding yourself in a situation where someone calls one for you. Either way, the call tends to happen because you’ve recognised that you need help.

Initially, this was going to be ‘admitting that you need help’ but the word ‘admitting’ sounds like you are saying that you need help is some sort of weakness or an act that came out of being defeated. When I believe the exact opposite – recognising you need help and asking for it, are a sign of strength, resilience, and bravery. And I think this is particularly true for mental health related calls because in a world where self-harm and suicide are deemed to be ‘attention seeking,’ it takes a lot of nerve and courage to tell someone that you’ve done one of those things.

AN IN-DEPTH LOOK INTO AN OVERDOSE | WHAT I THOUGHT, HOW I FELT, & WHAT HAPPENED

I almost couldn’t believe what I was saying when the lady in the shop asked why I’d passed out and I said that I’d gradually been overdosing on Co-Codomol since the previous day. You’d think that if anything, I’d be used to saying it and maybe even become quite ‘glib’ about it; but actually, it doesn’t get any easier – it still hurts to admit that you were so desperate to escape the hallucinations and memories of abuse that you tried to kill yourself. And it isn’t just with family and friends; I’m also ashamed and pained to tell Doctors, Nurses, and other professionals that I’ve ‘done it again’ because, I know it’s a very common thought process around mental health, but I actually wouldn’t blame someone for thinking me ‘weak’ for coping in such a way. Some people look at suicide as the ‘easy way out’ and I don’t blame them for misunderstanding something so scary and intimidating as going against all human instinct for survival and taking your own life. 

Telling the lady in the shop turned out to be a mistake because she called an Ambulance and when I refused to go to hospital with them, the Paramedics called the Police and I was told it was either put my seatbelt on in the Ambulance or put on handcuffs in the Police car; and so, of course, I fastened my seatbelt! Part of my refusal was because I wanted the overdose to work and for it to kill me, but a bigger part of it was about not wanting to upset the auditory hallucinations who were telling me not to go to the Hospital. I’d already bartered with them to hurt myself over hurting the people and things the voice was telling me to hurt; so, there could be no more compromising with it. I was no longer in control; my health, my thoughts, my feelings, my relationships… the voice owned them all. Agreeing to go to hospital, however, was much easier when it was the result of a threat from the Police and not my own volition.