Being a blogger and with I’m NOT Disordered having such an enormously important part of my life, I regularly find myself in conversations about social media and the digital world in general with a whole host of different people, and everyone has a different opinion of it. I’ve heard people absolutely trash the industry and talk about all the negative consequences it can have on society, especially in so far as online bullying and pressures around body image. Then, there are others who talk about how beneficial it can be in helping to maintain contact with loved ones and providing the opportunity to connect with like-minded people. But no matter which team you’re on, the conversation almost always turns into recognising that whether the internet is your friend or your enemy, you need to learn some coping skills…
Top Tip: Recognise where you have power and influence, and accept
when you do not
So, I recently saw a video on social media where a psychiatric
service user had called their local Crisis Team saying that they felt unsafe
and wanted to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and then recorded the
staff’s response. The member of staff was heard saying – very coldly – that she’d
be interested to know why the service user thought they’d be any safer in
hospital because, she said, if the person really wanted to hurt themselves,
they would do it and no one could stop them.
I think that one of the many reasons why this frustrated me, was
because it’s an attitude/comment that I’ve personally heard too. Back in 2012,
when the Police were even worse than they are now with mental health, an
Officer said, “if you really want to kill yourself, go off to the woods and hang
yourself like that lad a few weeks ago!” What gets to me with comments like
this it that a lot of professionals hold the attitude that asking for help and
seeking support when you’re feeling suicidal, is a sign that you’re not
genuinely thinking that way. But then, those same people – when someone commits
suicide – will question why the person didn’t reach out for help first! It’s so
completely hypocritical and frustrating.
This frustration is then doubled when you dedicate your
experiences in mental illness to improving services and helping others, and
realise that regardless of your effort and time, things haven’t even adequately
changed. Whilst this isn’t something I’ve experienced with my local NHS mental
health Trust (CNTW), it’s definitely something I’ve seen with my local Police
force. I spent days helping to facilitate mental health training and then I have
an Officer be the very epitome of who I was encouraging Officers not to be
like! It makes you question whether you’ve completely wasted your time and you
can begin to feel hopeless that nothing will be good enough to change things.
Where this is part of the reason why you struggle with seeing this
type of content on social media, please remember that your hard work will have
very likely helped at least one person; and try to take comfort and reassurance
from thinking about that. Allow that to leave you feeling like your dedication
and passion has been worthwhile. Where the content illustrating a failure in
psychiatric services feels like something you really can’t do anything about,
learn to accept that and continue to do all you can where you can. And if
someone is talking about responses from professionals, be aware that you don’t
know the ‘full story’ before commenting and providing any sort of reaction or opinion.
Top Tip: Carefully reconsider ‘following’ someone if their content
affects your own safety
If you haven’t been reading I’m NOT Disordered for very long then
you might now know, but I was actually interviewed and featured on a Channel 4
Dispatches documentary (you can read about it here).
In the programme, they were investigating various elements of Facebook and the
one they focused on when speaking with me was Facebook’s policy to allow certain
content relating to self-harm to stay live because they believed it allowed for
the opportunity to get help (in whatever way) for that person. In my TV interview,
I told them that I honestly believed that this policy would do so much more
harm than good. I could appreciate the theory that people – particularly those
who know the person – can take actions to prevent the person either continuing
or escalating their self-harm. But I genuinely think that there’s a higher
chance of someone seeing self-harm related content online and either taking inspiration
from it and copying the method used or feeling so upset and triggered that they
go on to harm themselves.
I know this would likely be the case because, when I was in a
psychiatric hospital for over two and a half years, another inpatient snuck a sharp
object onto the ward and when she managed to get it past the pat-down by staff,
she proceeded to pass it on to another inpatient to ‘use.’ And just like that,
it was being passed around the ward (though I never saw, received, or used it) until
the staff finally clocked on that so many people were exhibiting similar
injuries and called a ward lockdown to search everyone’s rooms and refused to
let us back into our rooms until someone confessed to bringing the sharp in. I
remember saying to the girl everyone was blaming that after knowing the
consequences of self-harm, how the hell could she stand back and prompt/enable
others to do it too?!
So, having seen this in person – where people literally had the
option to walk away from someone – I think it’s fair to say that it can be even
harder when the influence/inspiration for self-harm is digital. The fact that
it means you can experience this notion no matter where you are – I mean, you
could be in your own home (arguably the place you should feel safest) – and it
leaves you feeling that there’s no escape from it. And rather than turn your
back on the issue, you need to make the more conscious and challenging decision
to log out or even to completely turn your technology off.
Fortunately, being in recovery, when I see content like this which
I think could easily influence someone to self-harm, I report it to the social
media company. Reporting a tweet or post is actually fairly straight forward, the
main difficulty is if it comes back as them not considering the content to
violate any of their policies. So be prepared for that and know that you’ve
done all you can to protect others by reporting it.
Top Tip: Consider how you can help the person, but recognise that
you can’t help everyone
When I was in the psychiatric hospital for two and a half years, there
was an instance where my discharge date was coming up and one of the other
inpatients asked me what the turning point for me had been. I told her there
were two things; but probably the main, most powerful one, was when I had run
away, made a suicide attempt, ended up on life support, and then been
transferred to the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU). I explained how it
had been a wakeup call and that it made me realise that I didn’t want this to
be my life; I didn’t want to keep trying to kill myself and ending up being so
physically poorly after it. And I definitely didn’t want to be on the PICU that
I’d heard so many horror stories about (including one patient killing another –
which wasn’t a ‘story’ it was actual fact; I was an inpatient there when it
happened).
The next thing I knew, this other inpatient was attempting to do
all that I had, and the staff were telling her that they knew why she was doing
it and that they wouldn’t be putting her on the PICU because she wasn’t ‘genuinely
poorly.’ Meanwhile, I spent days crying over the thought that I had influenced
someone else to do the things I hated to have experienced myself, so I didn’t
like the thought of anyone else going through that too. I felt completely
blameworthy if anything happened to her, but the staff and other inpatients
encouraged me to focus on the fact that this girl was a grown person, and she
was well enough to make the decision as to whether what I said would make her
do the same or recognise it as instilling hope. I’d wanted her to see that I
had gone from the worst time in my life and made it out the other end. I wanted
her to know she could too. And the staff explained that you can do everything
with the best intentions but if someone has a particular mindset – especially around
feeling suicidal – there has to be a degree of responsibility on their part.
The notion that I had caused someone to take actions that might
jeopardise their safety was seriously distressing, but it led to me putting
more effort into my blog’s content to ensure that I didn’t ever feel that way
again. To ensure that my words actually helped someone to find determination
and dedication to recover and to maintain their safety and general wellbeing. And
believe me, being told I’ve given someone strength and hope, feels a whole lot better
than the complete opposite.
Now, in all honesty, regardless of how much content I’ve seen
online, that had the potential to encourage suicidal thoughts and feelings in
me, I have never experienced that. I think it’s because I have such a positive
view of the digital world – blogging and social media have helped my mental health
so much – and I think that contributes to me taking a more robust attitude to content
relating to suicide. And, in a way, this isn’t great because it almost feels
like rose-tinted sunglasses that shield me from reality or at least from having
a more balanced view.
I think that aside from influencing someone to feel suicidal,
there’s also the other side of someone’s content being about suicide. And this
is where the ‘top tip’ comes in – because it’s so important that you recognise that
what you can do to help that person might be pretty limited. I’ve seen a lot of
people using accounts where they don’t disclose their name or their location and
then they’ll voice feeling suicidal – or even that they’ve made an attempt – and
it’s pretty obvious that no one can do anything about it. That can be so
frustrating because you can still be invested in some sort of relationship with
the anonymous person and feel genuinely upset that they’re struggling. But it’s
important to recognise that as much as you may want, that doesn’t mean you can do
anything to help. You know, my Mum always said that when I was going to self-harm
or make a suicide attempt then it would be like I was in a tunnel and nothing
anyone did or said would make a difference. So, if you do offer help and support,
please don’t feel like a failure if you don’t influence a change.
Top Tip: Take time to appreciate a person’s motivation for producing
content that does this
So, there’s this girl on YouTube and social media who posts numerous
photos of herself (often in very ‘skimpy’ outfits) with a very well evidenced
Eating Disorder (namely, Anorexia Nervosa). Now, firstly; of course, I don’t
mean that those with an Eating Disorder shouldn’t take selfies(!); it’s the
fact that she never talks nor recognise her diagnosis or the impact her content
is having on others. And this begs the question: why would you produce such content?
Considering a person’s motivation for their content – especially where
it’s content that can inspire a negative impact on readers/followers – can be
so essential to controlling the response that person/their content receives. I
mean, if someone were to post healed self-harm scars, explaining that they want
it to illustrate recovery. That in showing that they were now safe and well, might
reassure others that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Or, you could have
someone doing the complete opposite and posting content that either asks for
self-harm methods or is initiating a sense of a very unsafe competition. Now,
you might read that and be genuinely surprised that anyone would even create
such content; but believe me, it exists. It’s like this thing I’ve always said
when people talk about the negatives of social media and I say that I think it’s
important to recognise that if you go online, you can find whatever you look
for. I mean, if you Google support groups, you’ll come across a whole host of
them. If you search for ‘thinspiration’ or suicide methods etc., you will
definitely find them too!
Another exhibition of mental illness I’ve seen on social media, is
paranoia, and in all honesty, that has been the most challenging for me to see/read.
Having experienced hallucinations and ‘psychotic beliefs’ that led to a
diagnosis of Transient Psychosis, I kind of struggle to accept that I can be completely
balanced and in reality, yet I could see content that insinuates the creator is
completely removed from that and experiencing the exact opposite. Like, it’s strange to think that whilst you
stand steady, someone else is falling.
Another situation that might be hard to believe it actually happened,
was when this one person kept posting very paranoid tweets about people coming
to get her and there being cameras hidden everywhere etc. and a few others
started commenting on the tweets saying they found it hard to believe (that’s
me putting it nicely!) she would be so paranoid and mentally ill, yet still able
to use Twitter. And, almost always, those people had literally no personal
experience of anything even remotely resembling what the person was struggling
with. Now, I recognise that there can be multiple people with the same
diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean they all experience them in the same way – and
this is definitely true about psychosis and hallucinations. But, from what I’ve
experienced, I know that sometimes it’d feel as though my brain was split –
part of it was grounded and the other part was hovering above my head just, kind
of dazed and floating around. And the part of my brain that was still on planet
Earth would be desperately trying to coax the other bit down and flailing, trying
to grasp at anything that might have the most remote chance to help it.
Sometimes, this meant I would do something quite serious like self-harm; almost
as a way to wake myself up and shrug off the dazed fog surrounding part of me.
As though some actual pain would help me find my footing again. Perhaps this
person was tweeting to remain in reality. Or perhaps it’s like what I do with these
‘psychotic beliefs.’ I try to write them down so that I can see them on paper;
out of my head and able to illustrate how completely fictional they are.
I guess that the largest message I want to get across regarding this
type of content, is about recognising that people produce content for different
reasons – even if it’s of a similar nature – and if their motivation isn’t even
known never mind understood, then it’s definitely not for someone else to jump
in and judge or criticise them.
Top Tip: Remember that even the people you look up to have people they look up to
There’s a lot of media/press on the fact that social media can really
instil a sense of competition and perfectionism. This is mostly viewed to be a result
of the many different editing tools (particularly the use of filters) there are
now for photos and videos. It can be almost incredibly straightforward to add a
‘thigh gap’ or remove an entire tree or something from a scenic selfie! And
this changing of details can very easily – and understandably – lead to someone
feeling inadequate or worrying that they’re somewhat ‘different’ in a negative
and unhealthy way which can bring on notions of isolation and shame (two very
difficult feelings that can pose a huge challenge to maintaining good mental
health).
When I was younger (like, 16 – 21) I was told that if my menstrual
cycle hadn’t still been regular, I would’ve matched the criteria for a
diagnosis of Anorexia; and I think I was fortunate that it was back when there
really wasn’t much to the digital world… I think my computer was mainly used for
playing The Sims, MSN messenger, and updating Myspace! And that meant the possibility
of finding what is now referred to as ‘thinspiration’ or ‘pro-ana’ content was
limited and massively reduced compared to the abundance of it that now floods and
overwhelms the internet. It’s almost become having to actually make a conscious
decision to close down or avoid content like this rather than it be about only
seeing it if you’ve actively searched for it. And this almost constant
onslaught of celebrities being underweight or people sharing ‘diet’ tips, can
be so incredibly triggering to a lot of people, but especially when someone has
an Eating Disorder.
The confidence destroying element of the digital world that I used
to experience was when I would look at other blogger’s social media accounts
and see their lifestyle and their achievements in collaborating with huge
companies and reaching millions of readers… It left me feeling completely
inadequate and I lost a lot of confidence and certainty in I’m NOT Disordered’s
potential. I mean, I started blogging with no real intention of it becoming all
that it is today, so in the beginning, I had no real inspiration. There was no
other blogger I admired. No blog that I wanted to model my own on. My genuine priority
was simply to be able to document my recovery in a way that friends and family
could see it too.
When, after a year or so, I realised that my blog was becoming a
lot more than just a thing I did when I had some free time; and so, I sort of ended
up finding myself in the midst of the blogging world and that’s when I began actively
looking to others for inspiration. I think that was mostly because even though
I now recognised – and wanted to be – part of that industry, I still felt
really unsure and lacked confidence. But the challenging thing was, the
bloggers I really admired (mainly Zoe Sugg and Victoria Magrath) aren’t exactly
mental health bloggers – well, Victoria especially isn’t because her blog inthefrow.com
centres around fashion and beauty (though she does do ‘lifestyle’ content on the
odd occasion)! So, at first, whilst I was attracted to their blogs for the
content (I kind of really like beauty and fashion!), I realised that it was
actually qualities and their more general achievements that I admired… I loved
how grounded Zoe stayed whilst her blog and YouTube channel (known as ‘Zoella’)
gained more and more publicity that meant she was offered some amazing opportunities.
She always seemed to recognise how lucky she was. And Victoria – regardless of
her number of followers or the incredible collaborations she has – is always
grateful and seems to never just rest on her laurels as though expecting
everything to now be handed to her on a silver platter.
Through my admiration for these qualities, I’ve tried to drill
some of that dedication, determination, and passion into my own blogging. But
one thing I initially struggled with in admiring Zoe and Victoria was that I
couldn’t just outright take inspiration from the themes or angles of their
content because they were so removed from mental health. So, when I saw Victoria
collaborating with huge, luxury fashion and beauty brands, I turned my
creativity skills up and tried to think of people or organisations that I felt
were their equivalent in the mental health world! And when Zoe would blog ‘Top
Secrets to…’ or ‘The Rules of…’ I took the angle and ran with it, in a bid to make
it applicable to mental health.
Admittedly, I sometimes feel a little inadequate or question the
strengths of my blog and its impact, but I try to use it as a drive to continue
blogging and do all that I can to achieve my dreams; whilst always keeping that
Top Tip in mind.
Top Tip: Weigh up how it’ll feel to express your opinion with the
chance of getting backlash
When I began collaborating with my local Police force, I became so
much more aware and cautious around posting or commenting on anything even
remotely or potentially controversial on social media. That meant it was kind
of a self-preserving move because I worried that voicing my opinions would
result in losing my role in facilitating mental health training for the new
Police recruits. I was pretty convinced that the staff I worked with would see me
get involved in a feud and be concerned that my thoughts would reflect back on
them in some potentially terrible way that would affect the already unstable public
opinion that surrounded them.
In the beginning of making the decision to keep quiet, I actually
really struggled with it… When the abuse began and then when my mental health
first deteriorated, I – for so many reasons – stayed silent. I didn’t tell
anyone what I was experiencing, I didn’t ask for help or get support; and it
wasn’t until things got really unsafe that I recognised if I’d spoken up
sooner, things might not have gotten to that potentially life-threatening point
that they did. But realising and accepting this, didn’t mean that I was instantly
encouraged to talk to professionals more; just that I could now see that doing
so could end up being beneficial. And I’m so grateful for that lesson because
it’s been a huge, contributing factor to my decision to create I’m NOT Disordered
and start blogging.
Since my blog’s popularity has grown over the years (mostly the last
three!), I’ve found the gravity of those numbers/people to be an even larger
reason not to publicly speak up about controversial topics. Now, I think it’s pretty
damn reasonable to summarise that not all of the over one million readers will hold
the same thoughts and feelings as one another; and that fact keeps me cautious when
creating my content… This was kind of challenging at first though, because when
my target audience was purely my friends and family, I felt I could really
speak my mind and be open and honest. But the increase has left me feeling
somewhat regulated and controlled. And initially this didn’t sit well with me;
but I recognised that I appreciated my readers so much that I developed the Top
Tip and began weighing up how relieving expressing my opinion would be with how
overwhelming the potential backlash could be.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of people out there who either don’t
consider this or who do and come to the conclusion of spreading their opinion
everywhere and ensuring it has the biggest impact imaginable! I’ve found that
where I have seen others expressing something that really clashes with my own thoughts,
but I decide not to chip in, it’s been helpful to put my opinion somewhere less
public e.g., in a message to a friend or family or even just in the ‘notes’
section of my phone. That way I’ve kind of ‘got it out’ and it doesn’t feel as
though it’s bubbling inside of me, tempting me to just burst into a flurry of
rants! But, when seeing someone’s opinion that you really disagree with, I
think it’s worth remembering that everyone is entitled to their own thoughts,
and if you do decide to react; do so in a way that you would want others to
react to your own controversial social media posts.
Top Tip: Offer the same empathy and respect you would want at such
a time
I think one huge inspiration for this part of the blog post is the
death of Queen Elizabeth II that happened just a couple of weeks ago. I think
that out of the many things the loss brought about, one hugely relevant one
here was the fact that once the media had its teeth in something, you’d be hard
pressed to escape it. I mean, I saw so many posts on social media from people
saying that whilst they weren’t huge ‘royalists’ they were saddened by the Queen’s
death, but that they still found the media’s coverage pretty overwhelming. In
fairness, it was kind of like, everywhere you looked – every device you turned
on – you were bombarded with content about her life, her death, her funeral, the
process and procedures her family were now going through… The greatest example
of this, for me, was when I was at an Orthopaedics appointment on the day of
her funeral and in the waiting room, the staff were playing it on an open
laptop propped up on a table, and when there was a two-minute silence, a Nurse
announced it to the waiting room. It really illustrated that you could even be
purposely avoiding watching the funeral by attending a hospital appointment
(which I wasn’t – I actually would’ve watched it if I’d been home), and there
was still no escape!
Having such much media coverage of her passing meant that there
was a lot of opportunities for some nasty comments and arguments between those
who whole-heartedly support the Royal Family and all they do and mean for the
country, those who don’t have the passion but believe in being respectful, and
those who have completely opposing views and opinions. Now, for me, I like to
find balance in everything, and so I resisted bombarding followers with content
revolving around the Queen and so I simply acknowledged it, said that I was thinking
of the rest of her family, and posted a really sweet illustration of her with
Paddington Bear that I had come across.
In all honesty, it was kind of challenging because her death had
brought up a lot of memories, thoughts, and emotions from losing my Nana; and I
didn’t want to talk about that because I knew it would risk me being called selfish
and that I was making it all about me. Choosing to keep quiet about the fact
this was triggering those things, I was still fully aware that it would mean if
someone else felt triggered of memories from a loved one passing, they might
feel alone in that or feel that they couldn’t talk about it. And I honestly
hate the thought of that – it’s actually a reason why I try to stay as open and
honest as possible on I’m NOT Disordered – because I know what it feels like to
feel so isolated and as though you’re the only person in the world going
through what you are. Which is something that can be especially difficult in death
and mourning because even if two people have lost the same person, they will experience
grief differently.
Having that difference in coping with loss, doesn’t mean that you can’t
be supported or helped though. It doesn’t mean no one in the world will
appreciate or recognise your thoughts and feelings. And, talking about them
online maximises the opportunity for someone else to be able to offer you advice
or support based on them feeling so much empathy and recognition through your
content. So please keep in mind that if you see someone talking about their
grief online, it might be in a desperate attempt to rally some sort of
understanding from literally anyone. And let that mean that you just take some
time away from their account and content for a short while.
Top Tip: There are ‘report’ and ‘block’ functions for this exact reason
Similarly, to the notion that the Queen’s death was unescapable, online
bullying can feel that way too. When I was fifteen, some girls (who I thought
were friends) began bullying me via MSN Messenger (anyone old enough to remember
that?!). They would log in on one of their accounts but claim to not be that person
and to be my ‘worst nightmare,’ then they’d proceed to call me a ‘bag of bones’
and say they had no idea what my boyfriend saw in me. I recognise that even
though it also went on in school, this is very much not to the degree bullying
can be these days; but it still means I understand the feeling that you can’t
get away from them – the bullies. That there’s no escape. That nowhere is safe.
And that can leave you with a desperation to escape – and this, is often why
suicide comes into things.
A lot of the time, online bullies seem to be either anonymous
accounts or accounts with fake names and very few/no followers, and it leaves
you questioning whether it’s pure jealousy. I mean, how exciting can someone’s
life be if they just spend their time writing horrible comments on the
internet?! And what do they even get from doing it? Thing is, considering their
motive, doesn’t always change your reaction and response. At the end of the
day, no matter who they are or why they’re saying it, someone is being nasty
and spiteful on a forum where so many others could see, and it can influence (positively
or negatively) their opinion of you too – a notion that’s actually really frustrating
because it’s almost like people have made assumptions without giving you a
chance to prove or disprove them. But this is the power of the digital world –
it can very much be a ‘judge-a-book-by-its-cover’ sort of environment; and this
becomes particularly existent with social media users who regularly create and
publish content around free holidays and hotel stays, gifted beauty products,
loaned luxury fashion pieces, and various special discounts.
The recent movement, publicity, and promotion of digital influencers
has had a huge impact on the way people can perceive your content. It seems that
it’s become more likely that followers would develop one of two attitudes:
either that a ‘influencer’ is bragging and boasting by posting such content, or
that their life is somehow ‘perfect;’ that they’re ‘lucky’ and ‘blessed,’ and
that calls into question the view as to whether they’re taking these things ‘for
granted’ or are being ‘unappreciative’ in some way.
When I first began blogging, I had very little confidence or
reason to talk about it to anyone and everyone! I mean, I didn’t consider it to
be important to anyone but me – it was intended to help my friends and family know
about how I was feeling, what I was thinking, and all that I was experiencing
in the psychiatric hospital over 100 miles away from them. I had no real reason
or need to spread the word about its existence… Well, not until my target
audience began mentioning it to others and the reader count began to rise to the
point where I began receiving feedback from people saying that my content had
helped them in various ways. Mostly, it was that being open and honest about my
mental health encouraged readers to also speak up and seek help, and in doing
so; they experienced a degree of hope for recovery. Recognising the potential
my blog had to help others, gave me a real reason to be more vocal about its
existence.
Initially, the new encouragement to advertise and publicise my
blog was a bit of a strange notion because I had become so used to putting
myself down and being overly critical of anything I was actually doing well and
succeeding at. But my desire to help others in ways which I wished I could’ve experienced
through my mental illness journey, shone through and I pushed through the
anxiety and sheer terror at any backlash I might get from online bullies who
might see my new-found confidence as a shameful self-promotion.
Now, with the statistics of trolling being so high, it’s also very
likely that you’ll witness the bullying of someone else online. In this case; couple
of quick tips:
1.
If you feel compelled to publicly insert yourself into the
situation, do so with the understanding that the bully/bullies might very
likely turn on you
2.
There’s nothing wrong with asking the person being bullied if they’re
ok and offering your support in a private message
3.
If you want to ‘report’ the bully to the social platform they are
using, ensure you know their rules and procedures to avoid disappointment if
they don’t agree with your report
4.
Seek help and support yourself if the bullying is triggering/affecting
your mental health
Top Tip: Appreciate that not everyone uses ‘Trigger Warnings’ on
their content
Adding a ‘Trigger Warning’ or ‘TW’ to the beginning of online
content was something I actually wasn’t aware of until a little while into my
blogging career; and, fortunately, I learned of it through chance and not
because someone was upset, I hadn’t used a TW on a blog post. And to be honest,
if someone were to get in touch for that reason, I genuinely imagine that I would
be more than understanding with them; because one of the many things I’ve
learnt over the years is that different things can trigger different people and
it’s important they’re all shown respect and validation. It really shouldn’t be
a case of someone saying your content was triggering and you getting into a feud
about how you didn’t think it should be. It is so important that you take
responsibility for the things you post online by recognising that it all has some
sort of impact (in a good or bad way) on someone else, and that their response
might not always be what you had predicted, assumed, or hoped for.
In many aspects of the digital world, it can be really important
to find balance, but where this is concerned… I mean, it’s important that you
recognise you chose to post whatever you have, but it’s equally important that
you don’t experience any unhealthy or unsafe thoughts and feelings in considering
yourself as blame worthy. If you genuinely had no bad intentions and have
empathy for the person affected by your content, then please don’t consider
yourself as warranting any sort of punishment or hardship.
Like I said, I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have not had
someone contact me for the absence of a ‘TW’ on I’m NOT Disordered, but I
wonder if that’s because I typically try to keep possible trigger words in the
title of the post so that it is clear from the very offset which subjects will
be featured in it. I do this, because I have been the person who has been
triggered by someone else’s content – a few times, actually! The first, was
with a lengthy Facebook post that turned out to be about self-harm, but I didn’t
notice that until I’d been reading it for a good few minutes. It hadn’t been
predictable; I hadn’t been able to prepare myself to read that. And isn’t this
what a TW is all about? Providing a follower or reader the opportunity to prepare
themselves to read triggering content. Providing them with the ability to have
some control over the situation because a TW meant they were given the option
of reading the content or completely bypassing it. And, in mental health,
control can be so important in providing a vulnerable person, a person who feels
that their illness is ruling their lives, with the notion that they still have
some power. Some say over what happens to them.
Another instance where I felt triggered, was perhaps a more
difficult one because the content that triggered me was, admittedly, very
unique to my own trauma. It took the form of a Twitter thread and the category
of the place I was abused, was mentioned numerous times. Now, the reason this
was so difficult was because I felt completely unable to speak up; I mean,
these triggers were very unlikely to mean the same to others as they did to me.
So how could I tell someone that they should’ve included a TW for something that
no one else might care about?! To be honest, it left me feeling kind of lonely
and isolated, which was another stark reminder of exactly how I’d felt during
the actual abuse.
Another element of balance to Trigger Warnings, is around the recognition
that you can’t always avoid every single trigger you might have – there might
even be some you haven’t discovered yet and can’t know to avoid! So, there
needs to be some sort of realisation that perhaps sometimes, being triggered can
be helpful. I mean, it can provide the opportunity to utilise your therapeutic
coping skills and allow you to see that they are helpful. However, it’s so
important that you recognise when the triggering becomes overwhelming and is leading
to unsafe thoughts and feelings, that’s the time to really take a step back.
Enough is enough.
Finally, a word about attention-seeking…
Social media and the digital world in general, can arguably viewed as the largest platform to utilise when seeking attention. I mean, by simple definition,
isn’t the simple act of publishing content online a form of attention-seeking? How
many people post content with the genuine hope and wish that no one sees it –
that it draws absolutely no attention?! And so, I think people need to be a lot
more mindful before throwing this term around.