Lean
on me,
When
you’re not strong,
And
I’ll be your friend,
I’ll
help you carry on
Bill
Withers: Lean On Me
Not too long ago, I spotted an event on Facebook advertising Tyneside Cats Protection’s Summer Open Day at their Adoption Centre (you can check out the event here). After not only collaborating with them – and the charity on a national basis – many times over the past few years (with our most recent one being: DAY THREE MHAW | A COMMUNITY-THEMED Q&A WITH A CAT CARE VOLUNTEER | MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK 2025 WITH CATS PROTECTION | I'm NOT Disordered), but having also attended previous Open Days at the Centre, I was eager to attend. With one of my best-friends and his partner also planning to attend, I contacted the Centre and asked whether we could all meet a few of the cats (as I have done previously in this post: ABANDONMENT & HOW TO COPE WITH IT | IN COLLABORATION WITH CATS PROTECTION | I'm NOT Disordered) and with the answer being “yes, of course!” we ended up deciding to make the entire thing into a collaboration. I found however, that I had two ideas for themes or angles that the collaboration could take, and so I agreed to publish this piece – which was inspired by Cats Protection’s Volunteer Assistance Programme (more info and their poster are at the end of this blog post – prior to the event and then another on the day/just after it…
A Quick Chat About the Us Vs Them
Culture
In
mental health care and services, there is often an assumed hierarchy whereby,
from my perspective, ‘us’ is referring to patients/service users and ‘them’
references the services and the many professionals within them. The idea of
there being a hierarchy and inequality, can often foster or motivate a thought
process and mindset that can lead to professionals being deemed, almost, as
though they are the enemy.
There can be a lot of causes to this culture, here are five of the largest characteristics:
Each of these causes can obviously be incredibly harmful and detrimental for many different reasons, but the four largest, most harmful results of the us vs them culture are:
With
these consequences of the us vs them culture in mind, there are five hugely
important and special reasons why an element of them – the Peer Support part – can
matter and have a huge impact on that relationship between service users and
professionals. In other words, here are four reasons why peer support is
important:
1. Instilling
Empathy
A
foundational aspect to a peer support centred relationship, is empathy because
it can build a huge sense of trust between those involved by the fact that
there’s a sense of genuine understanding and an ability to relate, particularly
to specific emotions, thoughts, and experiences. Having this emotional
resonance can leave the service user who is being supported by the peer,
feeling truly heard and understood which builds a connection that is unlike any
that can be formed between service users and professionals – who are arguably without
that ability to identify. By using active, non-judgmental listening, there are
more feelings of validation and humanity that can be especially motivated by the
kindness that accompanies this simple but meaningful means of engagement.
When a
Peer Supporter has first-hand experience around mental health illnesses,
services, or other relevant situations, it can define the empathy as truly
authentic and is a really contributing factor to peer supporters not being
judgemental. The relationship between a Peer Supporter and service user can
often really establish a reciprocal quality to it by allowing both parties to share, reflect, and grow. Without empathy, a relationship – particularly in
mental health services/between service users and professionals – can often
begin to feel mechanical or superficial through a mindset that it has almost
been forced upon both parties.
Here
are five sentences you can use to instil a sense or notion of empathy:
2. The
Reduction of Stigma and Isolation
In
moments of distress, a person can often feel isolated in the notion that
they’re the only person in the world feeling this way or having this
experience. When a Peer Supporter provides that empathy and compassion, the
service user they are interacting with can feel a sense of belonging in this
seemingly shared understanding that has come with a lack of judgement.
Having
a shared experience can reduce internalised-stigma because it works to
normalise what has happened in a way which targets any derogatory thoughts you
have towards yourself e.g. when a survivor of rape blames themselves for it,
but then you meet someone else and would argue against them blaming their self,
so it helps the realisation of ‘why should I be any different?’ Having this
open and identifiable dialogue around mental health, can also work at tackling
societal stigma – especially that which is full of stereotypes and myths.
A
reduction peer support can have that is specifically in regard to isolation,
comes from the fact that it can help to create and build upon a safe and
trusting relationship that is motivated by genuine connection through empathy, a
lack of judgment, shared-understanding, and mutual respect. Through peer
support, there’s often the promotion or encouragement of connecting with
communities and/or specific groups and networks. In addition to combating
loneliness, this can also enhance social skills and build upon self-confidence.
Where a Peer Supporter responds with understanding rather than pity or
judgement, shame can be confronted and replaced with acceptance.
Here
are five sentences to tackle stigma:
3. Encouraging
Honest Communication
In
peer support, having that ability to respond thoughtfully rather than
reactively – particularly when there is emotional distress and it’s a situation
which could be defined as a mental health crisis – can work to really de-escalate
tension. Providing a more empathetic response to such situations, can work to
actually foster a sense of calm and safety which can leave a service user
feeling more willing and able to be honest and open in their communication. In
that honesty – in speaking with an honest Peer Supporter – there can be the development
of a huge level of trust and credibility in the service user beginning to feel that
if their Peer Support can be honest in sharing or empathising with their
experiences, then they’re credible and trustworthy.
Having
your difficulties met by kindness, patience, empathy, and understanding by a
Peer Supporter, a service user might feel like it is somewhat of a safe and
non-judgmental relationship where they can talk about their thoughts, feelings,
and experiences without fear of criticism or dismissal. Having a human-centred,
compassionate, and responsive approach or communication illustrates a focus on
actual, individual needs rather than outcomes and procedures. It’s a brilliant
example of healthy and transparent communication – something which is often
hard to come by in mental health with professionals/services on a whole. With
this in mind, it’s important to recognise the impact that honest communication
can have on boundaries which typically prevents misunderstandings and
encourages better self-care.
Here are five sentences you can say which might encourage honest communication from someone:
4. The
Promotion of Empowerment and Self-Advocacy
Peer
Supporters are often able to encourage self-reflection and self-compassion
within service users through having that empathetic response as this can
promote service users to take steps toward their recovery themselves because
they know or feel that they are supported – with neither pressure nor judgment
– in doing so.
Peer
Support roles are typically designed to be non-hierarchical by focusing on the
importance of human-centred compassion. This can reassure a person that they
can absolutely show their vulnerability and that there’s a recognition that in
doing so, the Peer Supporter can provide help and assistance to develop
resilience skills and abilities. This notion or quality can be really
instrumental in promoting healing and recovery through facilitating hope,
motivation, and empowerment. And this is something which honest communication
can really impact and influence in bringing clarity and reliability to the
notion of having realistic hope and not being filled with false promises e.g.
professionals defining ‘recovery’ as everything being perfect with no mood
changes, no hard experiences, and no self-harm or unsafe coping mechanisms at
all.
Here are five sentences which could encourage someone to practice self-advocacy:ü
Other
Relevant I’m NOT Disordered Content:
Over
the years, I have created a lot of content around the pets I’ve had and there
are a few which are relevant to providing advice and support for people around
their pets – particularly where it is concerning a pet becoming poorly or being
put to sleep/passing away…
Dolly has a Cat Anxiety Disorder
| I'm NOT Disordered
The Importance of Pets | I'm NOT
Disordered
FIVE COPING STRATEGIES FOR GRIEF
AFTER FIVE MONTHS WITHOUT DOLLY | I'm NOT Disordered
HELPFUL RESOURCES DURING GRIEF |
IN COLLABORATION WITH ETSY UK | AD | I'm NOT Disordered
More
Info & Other Important Links
For more info on the other rewards and
benefits you can gain in volunteering or working for Cats Protection:
Reward
and benefits | Cats Protection careers
To find and apply for a volunteer
opportunity anywhere in the UK: Volunteer
opportunities | Find a role | Cats Protection
For staff vacancies across the UK:
Careers
| Work with cats | Cats Protection
To Donate to the Charity on a National
level: Donate | Help cats and
kittens in care | Cats Protection
To Sponsor a Cat Pen: Sponsor | Sponsor a
cat today | Cats Protection
Cat
Protection Tyneside’s Links
Instagram:
@CatsProtectionTyneside
Twitter (X):
@CatsTyneside
Facebook:
@CatsProtectionTyneside
Website:
Cats
Protection Tyneside Cat Centre
For Volunteer opportunities at the Tyneside Centre: Cats Protection Tyneside Cat Centre