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“How we handle our fears will
determine where we go with the rest of our lives.”
Judy Blume
I honestly can’t believe it’s
been an entire six weeks since my bunny; Pixie, was put to sleep (you can read
more about her death here).
When I told my Mum, she took the words right out of my mouth when she said, “it
feels like yesterday.” Although, it is definitely one of those stereotypical –
but still totally understandable – scenarios where it feels like it happened so
recently and yet, in a way, it feels as though Pixie has been gone forever.
However, either way, immediately after losing Pixie, I was aware that the
decision I’m blogging about was going to be something I would struggle with; do
I get another bunny?
Won’t the hallucinations come back?
It’s
very well known (or at least to long-term readers) that I originally bought
Pixie (you can read about her joining the family here)
because my mental health had relapsed and my visual hallucinations of rabbits had
come back…
When I was younger, I had two rabbits they killed their babies. Professionals have said that it was a trauma which contributed to the fact that I started hallucinating rabbits two years after my mental health began to deteriorate and the auditory hallucinations began. It was all well and good having those psychiatric staff recognise the connection, but me being the one who was actually experiencing it; I was unable to appreciate that common thread, and the hallucinations continued to make very little sense to me.