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So, I have a
few really important things coming up in my life and they’ve meant that I’ve
had numerous conversations with a whole variety of people who have given a
mixed response when told that I’m making plans and putting these things into consideration
now…
When I was younger, I always felt like there was a plan to things…
Like my Mum and I would plan what we’d do the following day – or week(!) – and I
almost knew exactly what to expect. And then the abuse happened…
In the beginning – when I first met my abuser – I expected the
complete opposite of him starting to hurt me. I had just been attacked on my
way to school and my abuser offered to be a source of support for me in
volunteering to make himself constantly available to me should I become upset
at some point during my school-day. But it was only the third time I utilised
that suggestion of support, that it turned into his opportunity to begin
hurting me.
I was caught so completely off guard by the abuse – to the point where I considered whether I’d imagined the entire thing – that I instantly began going to extreme measures to avoid spending any time alone with him. But all that initial support and kindness, and the fact he had already held the respect of so many people, meant that when it all twisted and turned into him requesting time with me, no one questioned things!