This post is
in partnership with the wonderful mental health NHS Trust for my area; CNTW
(Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust) so at the end I’ll
be including all of their links and one of their most important articles
produced during this Pandemic.
I’d like to think I’m a pretty fair and balanced kind of person in
that I can usually see a disagreement from both sides, so when I write blog
posts and posts on social media I try to imagine the other side to it… You
know, in my last post: ‘WHAT
I WANT YOU TO KNOW DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC,’ I talked a little
about how people are feeling that they can’t talk about how the pandemic is
affecting them because they’re sure that there’s someone ‘worse off.’ And I absolutely
get it; I mean, there’s tweets about Grandmas dying alone because visiting in
hospitals is suspended and people having their lives genuinely turned upside
down to coincide with the UK lockdown regulations (which you can read here).
I think that the one common impact that the Coronavirus Pandemic
is having on at least the majority of people, is on our mental health. People
often make the mistake of thinking that to be struggling with your mental
health, you must have some sort of diagnosis, but this isn’t true. Everyone has
mental health in the same way that everyone has physical health, and you can
struggle with your thoughts and feelings without it being you must have an
official ‘label’ or disorder. Someone can feel sad without having a formal
diagnosis of Depression. You can feel anxious without it needing to result in a
panic attack for it to be worth talking about. And you can struggle with your
mental health without needing to feel suicidal for it to be deserving of asking
for help and support.
So, for those who are wondering why I – and so many others – are talking
about mental health at a time when physical health is in the foreground of everyone’s
lives, and those feeling unsure as to why they’re struggling or who feel alone
in their struggle, here’s a little list of just some of the reasons why the
mental health of so many people is taking a battering through the Coronavirus
Pandemic…
Stress
I witnessed a friend of mine stressing the other day because she
has two children but works as a Carer and now the Schools are closing… she was
frantic trying to arrange care for her kids around her shifts and the shifts of
their Father. It made me grateful to not have such dilemmas, but it also made
me sad that I couldn’t be of more help and support to her. I have had some
stress of my own but I’m guilty of what I was talking about; I think that it’s
absolutely nothing and insignificant compared to the stress others are going
through so I don’t like to moan about it, but it should be recognized. I’ve
stressed over my food shop and my medication.
I usually do my weekly food shop and collect my medication with my
Support Worker, but they’ve stopped face-to-face contact, so I was left to my
own devices! There are some things like cereal, Pepsi, and orange juice that I use
a lot and so doing a weekly shop means I have to buy quite a few of them, but
because of the Pandemic and the lockdown, the items were being limited to three
per person! I understand limiting the basics like bread and milk but orange
juice?! And I wasn’t even stock piling them; I was buying the amount I usually
buy!
Then, my medication? The pharmacy I collect my dosette box from
was limiting entrance to three people at a time and because they’d been so busy,
after waiting in a queue outside for ten minutes, the box wasn’t even ready!
These stresses were enough to leave me thinking ‘I need to just go to bed –
today is a dud!’
Inconsistency and change
There’s a lot of this going on at the minute, especially with the government
and professionals who all have a say in the consequences to the general public
during the Pandemic. I’m obviously no expert but I’m sure it’s difficult for them
when the situation is changing every day – every hour. I think it’s just
hard to go one day believing one thing and then all of a sudden, it’s something
different…
Inconsistency leads to change. Numerous changes. And change can be
unsettling for anyone at the best of times, but to have it when you’re
vulnerable and already struggling can feel overwhelmingly difficult. Consistency
can be really reassuring and can help to build your confidence in others
because it’s nice to know that you can rely on someone in that way.
I used to really spiral out with the slightest of changes; even
when my Community Psychiatric Nurse would be off sick. I’d take it personally
and feel letdown, forgotten about, and disrespected. It would make me question
their reliability and whether I could trust them with everything they were
taking responsibility for and the role they were playing in my life.
Fear
This isn’t solely isolated to children as you might assume; and I think
it actually takes a lot of courage and bravery to tell someone you’re scared. I
said, ‘this is so scary’ the other day and my Mum was like ‘that’s the first
time you’ve used that word about this!’ I guess that I put so much importance on
the word that I don’t use it lightly or easily. Going through sexual abuse when
I was younger was obviously a really scary time and it really taught me a lot
about fear and how to manage it safely and without feeling insecure and
vulnerable.
Right now, I think a lot of the fear stems from the physical side
effects that the Coronavirus has and the drastic consequences to them. Having
been on life support myself, I know the feeling of being on a ventilator and I know
the aftermath and the devastating impact it can have. I wouldn’t wish it on
anyone; so, hearing that it can be the end result for the Coronavirus is a
pretty scary thought. Then, videos keep appearing of people on ventilators in
Intensive Care, or people suffering from some of the symptoms of the Virus, and
of course it exacerbates the fear. However, maybe it’s good that we – the general
public – are made aware of the real impact it can have and of just how poorly
you can be, because it will hopefully encourage some people into following the
restrictions purely out of fear of what not adhering to them can do.
Boredom
Even for those who are working from home, there’s bound to be some
hours of free time during this lockdown when you don’t have a clue what to do
with yourself…? Hours where your brain literally can’t think of a single
activity or task that needs doing and you’re left sat there twiddling your
thumbs and thinking that watching paint dry would be far more interesting and
exciting! I came up with a list, in my last
post, of things that you could do whilst at home. These hours also leave
you susceptible to spending hours mulling over things and thinking about
upsetting times that might have been put out of your mind had you been busy and
distracted.
Fortunately, I learnt the Dialectical Behaviour Therapy skill of
distraction a long time ago so for years I’ve had a little repertoire of
activities to do when I needed to keep busy and focus on something other than
whatever was going on at the time! Reading, doing my makeup and binge-watching
TV series are probably my favourites!
Lack of motivation/time to procrastinate
This is probably the biggest struggle for those who are supposed
to be working from home. I may not completely understand this point because I don’t
have a fulltime job, but I like to think that some of what I do is a bit like
work (especially the online courses I’m doing) because I often have deadlines
and goals. So, I kind of have an idea of how hard it is to have any motivation
to stick to these deadlines and continue with work when the TV is on or the
phone is going crazy with social media notifications. Then there’s having a pet;
being at home means more time with them around. I have a kitten and a bunny who
are like having two toddlers in the house because they’re constantly causing chaos
and getting into trouble; so that’s hectic and extremely distracting when I’m
trying to work.
I recognize though, that I’m very lucky that my ‘work’ is
something which I really enjoy and which I’m so passionate about that even when
there’s a million and one other things going on around me, I don’t often lose
focus. I also recognize that losing motivation then gives me time to procrastinate
and that isn’t at all healthy! Getting your to-do list done is always so
rewarding and that feeling of accomplishment is something you can’t beat – seven
years later and I still get a thrill when I publish a blog post that I’ve been
working on!
Loneliness
When my Community Psychiatric Nurse had to first cancel our
appointments I felt completely deserted and alone because we have such a good
relationship where I’m very comfortable telling her my very deepest and darkest
thoughts and feelings. So, losing the person I can do that with is very hard on
my mental health and I’m not the only person this is happening to! So many
mental health services are struggling to keep face-to-face contact/appointments
because of the Pandemic.
The largest feeling behind loneliness is that you’re unimportant
because there are so many professionals being counted as ‘keyworkers’ and
permitted to continue doing their shifts so it can leave service users feeling
that apparently mental health doesn’t count and isn’t of similar significance. It
can seem deflating and demeaning.
Thankfully, there’s a lot of kindness going on in the world right
now with gestures ranging from purchasing something from a stranger’s Amazon
wishlist (mine is here!),
to free flowers from Tesco for NHS workers! And when we had the Clap for
Carers/Clap for NHS at 8pm tonight, it was such an emotional time because it
allowed us all the chance to see that we weren’t alone; there’s so many others
having similar experiences, thoughts, and feelings.
Triggers
This entire situation is so triggering of previous experiences
that some may not have considered… the first time I thought about this was when
someone tweeted that the lockdown had brought up a lot of thoughts and feelings
that they’d only ever experienced when sectioned under the 1983 Mental Health
Act and an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital. It really hit home because of
course I’ve been sectioned too so I felt that I could completely relate to
those thoughts around having no control over your comings and goings and
feeling so paranoid when you do venture outside.
Another example has been with someone I know who went through Chemotherapy
a few years ago and as a result, had to be extra cautious around their health with
the treatment hugely increasing their chance of contracting an infection or
other illness. This Pandemic has reminded this person and those who cared for
them during that time, about a very difficult (understatement!) moment in their
life and that’s been so much more upsetting than if they hadn’t been through
that.
For me, seeing all of the photos in the media of people on life
support has triggered my memories around the two occasions when two suicide
attempts left me on a ventilator in Intensive Care. It made me so upset to
think of others going through that but it also reminded me of how far I’ve come
in my mental health recovery.
So, as
promised, here’s all of the links for CNTW’s social media etc and one of their
main articles at the moment which talks all about how their staff are going
above and beyond their duties and responsibilities in this Pandemic. You can
read it here:
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/CNTWNHS
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/CNTWNHS/
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/cntw.nhs/
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/company/cumbria-northumberland-tyne-and-wear-nhs-foundation-trust/
