“There
are always three speeches for every one that you give. There’s the one you
practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave.”
Dale
Carnegie
A number of months ago, I was in a Working Together Committee meeting with Richmond Fellowship – the organisation who provide my Support Workers – and we were told it would be our penultimate meeting due to their merger with Humankind. I had no clue what they were on about and since Richmond Fellowship are usually good with communication, I was so worried this meant that Humankind had already had a bad influence on things! It wasn’t long later, however, that I received an email from the Humankind Communications and Marketing team, basically saying “we hear you like comms and marketing…?!” And I’ve been involved in the merger’s creation ever since! So, I was absolutely honoured when I was asked to give speeches at two of the launch/reveal events and to even help the Vice Chair with the actual unveiling of the new charity’s identity! With both events now finished, I thought it time I write this blog post...
The
first Waythrough launch event I spoke at was actually on Teams and it was the
internal launch. I was warned there’d been around over 300 people invited, but
once I was logged on and the event kicked off, I noticed people commenting in
the chat function with shocked emojis and ‘how many people?!’ and I looked to
find that there was over 900 people tuned in! I was quite glad that I hadn’t
been warned of that many people or I likely wouldn’t have agreed to do it
because I think prior to this, the largest group of people I’ve ever given a
speech or presentation to was around 300 – 350. But, finding out after I logged
on meant it was kind of too late to back out, and before I knew it, the
presenter was calling on me to speak!
One
thing I observed in my second speech at the in-person event in Durham (featured
in the video at the end and the photos dotted throughout the post) was that –
as far as I witnessed – it was only myself and an ex-service user who was also
giving a speech who were asked whether we were nervous. I didn’t ever hear anyone
ask the Vice Chair (who I unveiled Waythrough’s identity with at the Durham
event) or the other senior staff who spoke too. And I’m not saying this is an inequality
thing; I just wonder if it was assumed that the other person and I rarely do any
public speaking or that due to their job titles, it was assumed the staff wouldn’t
get nervous of something like this. Either way, it begs the question whether
assumptions were made.
Whenever I’m asked about being nervous or anxious about public-speaking, I always remember my very first speech at Time To Change’s Story Camp back in 2015 (I actually wrote a blog post about the event at the time, you can read it here). I was in the foyer of the building the event was happening in and I rang my Mum almost in tears and ready to vomit, saying how convinced I was that I couldn’t give the speech. That I couldn’t even go in to the event. Everyone seemed to know each other or be friendly enough to just talk to each other, but no one was talking to me! And I didn’t recognise anyone. I felt like I had zero confidence or self-esteem and therefore absolutely no reason or rationale as to why I should go through with the speech – which didn’t happen to be just any speech, but it was actually the closing speech for the entire event! My Mum, of course, was brilliant, supportive, and encouraging and had me feeling as though she was right there in London with me and her words filled me with all the strength and bravery in the world that led me to walk into that auditorium and give my speech to maybe… 50 or 60 people? And the round of applause at the end, gave me the distinct feeling of all those strangers giving me a big, reassuring, pat on the back! It was lovely and I felt a sense of adrenaline and a bit of a buzz after the speech was done – and that (the adrenaline rush) is actually something I still experience after speeches these days too!
Thinking
back to that instance though, it actually is so much more motivational than as upsetting
and traumatic as you might think it would be to think about! No, instead, I
find it encouraging of the fact that I’ve come so far – in so many different
ways – since that event. My self-esteem is higher. My confidence is enhanced
and that helps me to talk to complete strangers and be friendly enough to discover
the stories and roles others play and see how we can help each other in our jobs;
like, for me, as a Blogger and them inspiring content and featuring in posts or
for them as staff or professionals in wanting a service user’s input or insight
in some way or wanting the publicity that my blog can afford them/their
project/their service etc.
Thoughts
about my blog and everything it means to me, my mental health, and my recovery,
can be another motivation for overcoming any nerves, anxiety, or stage-fright
too. I recognise how important I’m NOT Disordered is for me and my life, and how
monumental it has been in my recovery from my mental illness, all the symptoms
and unsafe coping skills that come with it, and the trauma I really experienced
prior to it. And so, I try to think of three things – well one but it leads
into two others! I think of the fact that doing the speech can help increase
the reader statistics, and then this is important to me for two reasons:
1.
It
contributes to me being offered amazing, one-off opportunities and rewarding
experiences.
2.
It
means I have a greater chance of helping even more people with my content.
These
goals or possible outcomes for me of giving a public speech, can really help to
drive my confidence and promote my self-esteem to a level where it is
beneficial to the actual quality and general effectiveness of my speech.
Now, I
think that a lot of people – upon mentioning my blog in relation to nerves and
anxiety, would assume that the fact I’m NOT Disordered has such a huge readership
(it just tipped 1.5 million readers on Monday the 30th September)
should mean I never get any sort of stage fright. I guess because they think
that if I can blog and create honest and open content about my mental health
and issues in my life which a lot of people might argue to deem private, then I
shouldn’t need to even think twice about speaking for 900 people. As though writing
a blog post from the comfort of my one-bedroom bungalow with my pets around me,
is the same thing as I did with the Durham speech in having to travel a fair
distance on numerous modes of transport (three taxis and a train!), to a venue
I’ve never been to before, and speak in front of a whole room full of complete
strangers – admittedly, with some I had ‘met’ from the shoulders up on
Microsoft Teams and Zoom!
One
other thing which actually, in all honesty, both helped and hindered me from
the respect of nerves and the size of the audience, was that everyone’s cameras
were turned off – only the presenters could have theirs on. I liked that this
meant there wasn’t hundred of eyes staring at me from the screen, but I didn’t
like that I couldn’t look to people to see their reactions when I would say
something either funny or sad. I usually like to check people either got the
joke(!) or saw the seriousness and emotion to what I’ve just said, and I couldn’t
do that with this event. So, if you’re speaking at an online event, it might be
worth checking whether it’d be possible to ask people turn their cameras off –
or on! – if you think that would help you.
Waythrough
Links:
Instagram:
@waythrough_UK
Twitter:
@waythrough_UK
Facebook:
WaythroughUK
Website:
www.waythrough.org.uk
You
can watch my Instagram reel for the day of the launch here:
Aimee Wilson (@aimes_wilson) •
Instagram photos and videos
