I
came to win, to fight
To
conquer, to thrive
I
came to win, to survive
To
prosper, to rise
To
fly
Nicki
Minaj ft. Rihanna – Fly
If ever there was a time for a stereotypical beginning, it’s here(!) – because I literally and honestly cannot believe that I’m writing this! My little mental health blog has over two million readers?! Like, what?!! Where did that come from? It’s the strangest thing; that I’ve very obviously known it was coming – I mean, you know I like to celebrate my reader milestones; so, it’s obvious I keep an eye on my blog’s statistics… But it still feels like it just caught me by surprise and stole the ground out from under me! It’s like when you’re about to get an injection and you know it’s coming but you still get a shock… Except, much less painful! So, to celebrate this enormous milestone, I’ve created this blog post – and a reel over on my Instagram (@aimes_wilson) – revealing all my stories and tips around the largest reason for I’m NOT Disordered’s popularity: publicity…
It
might sound premature, but I honestly believe that you need to really consider
your thoughts, feelings, and ideas on publicity before you even begin blogging
– like, right when you’re deciding whether to even start. I’ve talked many
times about how I’m NOT Disordered began with little to no consideration for
what blogging meant back in 2013; there were no thoughts given to the pros and
cons of joining this industry – I mean, I didn’t even brainstorm a title for my
blog! In a way, I’m massively grateful for my blog’s beginning because it made
me feel like blogging was just a natural next step for me. That it was almost as
though it was my destiny. And some might say that blogging does come naturally
to me, but I think I might disagree on this; just because I don’t want for it
to seem like I put no effort into what I do. As though it takes no thought or
time. Because, whilst it certainly took none to begin blogging; actually,
maintaining I’m NOT Disordered certainly does.
Now, as
I said, I’m forever grateful to I’m NOT Disordered’s beginning because neither
of us would be where we are without that – and, whist I try not to have any
regrets, if I could do things over, I would have put more consideration into
deciding to blog. And publicity is definitely something which would have been
part of that thought process. The biggest question
that I think you need to ask yourself in thinking about publicity and starting
to blog, is whether you’re ready for that. Whether you’re ready to seek
publicity, to stumble upon it, to establish it, and to cope with it…
And yes, a hugely
contributing factor to this aspect is your end goal to blogging. If you – as I
was when I first created, I’m NOT Disordered – are doing it for you and only
you, publicity might not be on your mind because you’re not doing it for the
views or to build the readership.
I
created I’m NOT Disordered on January 6th, 2013, with the two, very
pure and honest reasons of wanting to document my journey through my mental
health recovery and wanting to communicate my experiences better with my
friends and family who were over 100 miles away from the psychiatric hospital I
had, at that point, been detained in for over six months. I didn’t expect it to
get this far – in terms of everything! Like, the length of time I’ve been
blogging (twelve years!), the number of posts I’ve published (over 1,300), the
collaborations I’ve done, the guest posts I’ve had, the media appearances I’ve
been honoured with; and of course, the number of readers my blog now has… I
think that in that very beginning, I honestly imagined just blogging whilst I
was in the psychiatric hospital – and when I was admitted, the hospital said on
its website that the average length of admission was 12 – 18 months so I
figured that was a year or so. Not twelve! And that was mostly because those
two reasons why I started blogging were linked to being an inpatient and
without being in hospital, surely those reasons would go away, and I’d be left
with no other motivation to continue with I’m NOT Disordered…?
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So, I
think there are really two methods to seeking publicity, and that’s you talking
about your blog and sharing the link with people and the second is writing
press releases to send to media outlets – which I’ll talk about next.
Something
that might surprise a lot of people who have only come into my life since I
created, I’m NOT Disordered, is that I actually used to be fairly shy – or at
least shy to a point where I wouldn’t have thought I’d get to a point where I’d
be comfortable handing out business cards for my blog! I think a lot of that
came from a lack of confidence over actual shyness and being genuinely and
naturally timid. And that lack of confidence stemmed mostly from one Teacher
during my High School career, studying my GCSE’s. I had opted to take Textiles
as an exam subject for two years, but from the offset (so it wasn’t even as
though I upset her in some way!) my Teacher would constantly and consistently
undermine my work and belittle my effort. I honestly think I thrive and excel
on constructive criticism – I take it very easily and understandably – but that
wasn’t what this was. At all. Her comments were in no way productive or
positive. I mean, I honestly tried desperately to find some sort of benefit
from them; to find a way that I could use her words to better myself as well as
to better the work I was producing. But no. There was no hope or prospect.
Two
years of these horrible, spiteful, and debilitating comments really contributed
to me backing away from art, fashion drawing (which I used to love), any sort
of crafts, and creativity in general, really. I just lost the motivation
because I’d come to ask/believe; “what’s the point in trying if I’m going to be
put down with/for everything I do?” I’d lost any sort of inspiration or urge to
be creative and didn’t want to engage in any kind of creative activities
because I didn’t think that anything I did would be good enough – no matter the
situation or the standards!
When
the abuse began and the rape occurred, I stopped the creative writing I used to
regularly engage in at home, because I was so nervous that I’d just naturally
or instinctively write about what was happening to me and I had so many valid
reasons why I couldn’t tell anyone what was happening. I started writing again
in 2009 after I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act for the first time
because all the professionals made it known that I’d been detained under
section 2 of the 1983 Act because no one knew or understood why I’d made a
suicide attempt. And being on the psychiatric ward, I realised that I’d never
be discharged if I didn’t open up and tell someone what was happening and I
seriously struggled to find the words that I felt would effectively and
efficiently tell people my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. So, I wrote the
ward staff a letter detailing everything I felt they needed to know at that
time for me to be better helped and supported and to be discharged from
hospital.
So, I’d
had four years of writing about my experiences for mental health staff before I
started blogging and the comments from the Textiles teacher rang a lot quieter
in my ears by the point of creating, I’m NOT Disordered too. So, I guess these
are the contributing factors of why people who only know me since I started
blogging would think or would say that I’ve always been confident. I managed to
find additional confidence throughout my blogging career – confidence that has
aided me in telling people about my blog and handing out my business cards
(which are designed via Canva and printed/created through VistaPrint). This has mostly come in the
shape of focusing on one of my biggest goals and aims that really came through
in my blogging journey; and that’s to help others with my content. Of course,
this would have always been a goal if I’d recognised it earlier, but when I
started blogging – since I had no real goal of achieving a huge audience – I
didn’t think about the fact that people who read about my thoughts, feelings,
and experiences might, in some ways, benefit from doing so. I didn’t consider
the impact and influence I’m NOT Disordered could have on its readers because I
was so focused on how helpful it was proving to be for my own mental health and
recovery.
And I
guess, this would be my biggest piece of advice here – in thinking about having
confidence to tell people about your blog. I’d say to
always focus on your goal. If you’re passionate and determined about it; to a
strong, genuine, valid, and dedicated degree; then you’ll be able to find that required
confidence to be open and to share the link to your blog with anyone who it
feels relevant or necessary for.
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In late
2014, I made the decision to write my first press release about I’m NOT
Disordered which, at the time, was on around 60,000 readers. A huge motivation
for my decision, was that I was discovering benefits as a result of receiving
so many readers and my blog establishing some level of success and popularity. When
I say ‘benefits,’ I don’t just mean the freebies and complimentary experiences
I was receiving! Of course, they were – and still are – hugely appreciated; but
what’s always been the most important and amazing benefit to my blog’s
popularity, is the feedback from readers and the encouragement and reassurance
that my content is helping other people.
In my
last post about celebrating I’m NOT Disordered’s Birthday (you can read it here) I talked about the greatest
piece of feedback I’ve ever received and how it was from a reader who said my
blog post about coping with reporting abuse to the police had encouraged her to
report her own experiences. In her instance, her rapist/abuser was arrested,
pled guilty and was given a prison sentence so it could have saved a lot of
other people too because when someone like that gets away with receiving no
consequences for doing something like that, why wouldn’t they do it again?! Anyway,
that message from that reader was hugely empowering and encouraging for me to continue
being open and to write a further two press releases.
Something
that I’d say with writing a press release – or with deciding whether to or not
– is that it’s totally ok and normal if just the prospect of doing it feels
intimidating. No matter the motivation for writing it, the end goal is always
the same – to have a media outlet publish your writing. And that’s a pretty big
end goal! It’s a huge need/want/expectation and it’s something that’s sort of
not negotiable too. They either use it or they don’t. To cope with that
intimidation; my advice is to do a ‘fake-it-‘til-you-make-it!’ move and go
with it! Just grit your teeth and write as though you do it all the time and as
though you’re always being published in all the big media outlets! Bluff your
way through it and maybe – just maybe – it’ll pay off! I have my fingers
crossed for you because seeing your press release in print or having a
Journalist get in touch because of a press release you’ve submitted, is a real
buzz! It’s a pride that’s unparalleled to any other I’ve felt.
One other
element which I think is really worth keeping in mind if your press release
isn’t published or actioned in any way; is to remember that ultimately,
word-of-mouth publicity is – in my opinion – the greatest method of publicity.
Not just because it’s free! But also, because I think it’s the most effective
with people trusting the thoughts and opinions of someone, they know over what
a news outlet is recommending! So please don’t feel too defeated if your press
release is unsuccessful and doesn’t achieve any sort of publication.
For
more technical and formal advice on writing a press release: https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-write-press-release
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Whilst
this bit is fairly linked to the first one regarding handing out business cards,
a recent conversation has inspired me to add this bit where I wanted to mention
the importance of recognising – and finding ways to cope with – the idea that
you can’t be certain what is being said about you and your blog…
Every
time I celebrate a reader milestone or comment on my statistics and my blog’s
popularity, I always make a conscious effort to remind myself that not every
single reader will have liked what they saw! I think that a huge quality a lot
of people assume bloggers or online influencers have, is that we’re vain and/or
that we enjoy talking about ourselves. I think that a certain level of being… ‘overly
confident’ is almost necessary for someone in this industry because if you aren’t
able to ‘put yourself out there’ you’ll likely not go too far in this sort of career.
But it’s definitely one of those many issues in life where it’s about balance in
that you can be that way and have the courage to be open and honest, whilst also
staying humble and grateful for every follower, reader, subscriber, viewer… Being
transparent can go a long way these days on social media.
I think
that the important lesson to remember in thinking about what others say about the
content you work so hard to create, is that you can’t control what other
people think, how they feel, and what they say about you. You can’t control
it, but you can have somewhat of an influence upon it through your content,
through what you say about yourself, and through how you present yourself to those
people. How you present yourself to the world. But always remember that there
are some people in the world who just look for the bad or negative in others and
especially through someone else’s social media content. A part of coping with
that fact, is ensuring that the thought of it, doesn’t affect you, your mood, or
your safety. And to always think about the fact that you should still continue
to publish content that’s true to you, don’t change yourself to fit into the
expectations or assumptions of others. Don’t change you to be how someone else
wants you to be.
I think
a big experience I had around this, was after I was discharged from the
psychiatric hospital after two and a half years as a sectioned inpatient; and I
ended up self-harming. I absolutely hated the thought of telling anyone and
blogging about it because I recognised – with the reassurance of readers
comments too – that at that point, I had likely become an inspiration for a lot
of people to find hope by seeing me come back from how poorly I was when I
first created my blog in the hospital to then being discharged and in my own
home. I worried that if I was honest about the self-harm, it would destroy
people’s hope and I know how important a quality that is to have in a mental
health recovery journey, so I hated the thought of someone losing it due to me.
Eventually
though, I reached the mindset of wanting to remain honest and myself and I
began talking on my blog about the fact that professionals seem to convey ‘recovery’
as things being perfect and completely safe. No one really talks about relapses
and the fact that your difficulties don’t just ‘go away’ by saying you’re ‘in recovery.’
And not sharing the fact this can happen, can mean that when it does, you feel
hopeless and panic that you’ve just gone completely backwards, right back to
square one. So, I realised that in sharing my experiences, actually; it might
help others to be more aware of the ‘bumps’ in recovery and the fact that they
don’t have to be completely defeating. So please don’t change you. You’re you
for a reason.