“We all have life storms, and when we get the rough times and we recover from them, we should celebrate that we got through it. No matter how bad it may seem, there's always something beautiful that you can find.”
Mattie Stepanek
Like most anniversaries celebrated on I’m NOT Disordered, when it comes to them, I can never believe it’s been that long already; and it’s absolutely the same with the one-year anniversary of finding Gracie – I can’t quite believe it’s here! It honestly doesn’t feel like it’s been nearly half that time since I almost stood on my youngest rabbit’s cold, lifeless body in the sitting room doorway. But here we are – I've had a year; have I managed to change things round?
For anyone who doesn’t know about Gracie and what happened, it makes sense to start there and then I’ll talk through what difference it made to my life this past year...
Around October 29th, 2025, I started noticing loose stools around the home. From my first rabbit having five episodes of it – I knew wet, damp, loose stools from rabbits to be a sign of Gut Stasis but having both Luna and Gracie and with neither showing any other symptoms of illness, I had no idea who was doing them. And, with there being other possible reasons for them having such droppings and me not knowing at that point that if Gut Stasis isn’t treated within 24 – 48 hours it can be fatal, I carried on with life until early afternoon on October 31st. I realised Gracie wasn’t coming for her breakfast, she wouldn’t even come just for being called (yes, rabbits can learn their names – they're a heck of a lot smarter than most people realise!) nor even for treats! That was the worrying sign, to be honest because my bunnies were very appetite navigated! They were fully ruled and controlled by their hunger! And they loved these carrot treats (despite neither of them liking actual carrots!) so it was incredibly strange.
She was also huddled up in the corner of the platform in the hutch which – despite being free-roam in my house – my rabbits have a hutch, but it stays completely open all the time; they’re never shut in it. It just means they have a little safe, quiet place for them with their sawdust, but they rarely use it. So that was strange, too. And Luna kept running in there right up to Gracie and licking her head, and Gracie wasn’t even responding or reacting to her. She wasn’t licking her back of even leaning into her and when I lifted the lid off the hutch and put my hand in and she didn’t run away and hide, I called the Vet.
When I asked for an appointment the same day, I was asked by the Receptionist what Gracie’s symptoms were and I told her everything she said, “she’ll be ok overnight and we’ll see her in the morning.” And I took that. I didn’t disagree or argue. I just said, “oh ok, if, you’re sure.” And she said that it was a good sign Gracie was still having poo’s and I do remember saying something then: “I was told it was a bad sign when they’re wet though.” But there was no talking her around, and I took the earliest appointment the next morning for Gracie. She spent around three or hours on the hutch platform that afternoon/early evening, then she spent about three hours behind the washing machine (somewhere I’d never seen her go or at least, certainly hadn’t seen her be there for as long!) before I went to bed
early, so that I could get up to take her for the appointment early the next morning.
I remember waking up and hearing a scuffle under the bed and thinking ‘I bet they’re both under there completely fine!’ But it was just Luna under my bed. So, I went to the kitchen and looked in the hutch and there was no Gracie. No Gracie behind the washing machine either. So, I turned back and as I stepped into the sitting room, I found Gracie. She was laying on one side and really outstretched as though she’d literally been mid-hop and had just suddenly keeled over. I couldn’t believe it, so I got my phone and I called my Mum in tears, screaming that Gracie was dead.
For a fuller and more detailed account of losing Gracie:
https://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2025/11/goodbye-gracie-therapeutic-post-full-of.html.
I brought my dark, little mini-Lionhead lop bunny; Evie home twenty days after losing Gracie. Luna was starting to become sadder and sadder – I was honestly surprised that she hadn’t been that way the whole time and I think it had lulled me into a false sense of security and I had been thinking ‘oh, she’s coping really well!’ – something she hadn’t when my rescue cat; Emmy (who had been Luna’s first best friend in her life) was euthanized. I wracked my brains wondering why this time was different because, in all honesty, I thought that if anything, she’d struggle more because Gracie had been a bunny and therefore more bonded and relatable. And I was so worried that I was losing touch with her and being the most knowledgeable person with my pets is something I’m massively proud of. So, I finally came to two conclusions or realisations:
That when Emmy died, there was no other animal in the house; but when we lost Gracie; Luna still had my maine coon/rag doll mix cat; Ruby to bond and connect with. I came to believe that this likely meant she felt less alone than she had in losing Emmy.
Luna didn’t see Emmy die; I just disappeared with her one day and came back without her, but she saw Gracie’s body (perhaps even saw her die, I didn’t so I can’t know that) because whilst I waited in another room for my Mum and Dad to come, when we went back through to the sitting room, we found her nudging Gracie’s body. I realised this very obviously meant she perhaps somewhat better understood Gracie wasn’t coming back.
A week or so after losing Gracie though, Luna began looking glum and, in all honesty, it broke my heart every time I saw her sat or lying alone. So, I brought Evie home and the two bonded almost instantly (there’s actually a few videos of them meeting in the ‘WELCOME TO THE FAMILY LITTLE EVIE!!!’ blog post I published almost one week after bringing her home); reassuring me a lot that I’d made the right decision in getting her.
Unfortunately, Evie wasn’t meant to be with us for long... She was just five months old when she had her first episode of Gut Stasis (which inspired an article over on the website for my pet bereavement website – more on that in a hot minute! What Gut Stasis Looks Like: A Guide & Video). I was actually instantly filled with the greatest conviction that this wasn’t it and was again, unfortunately proven correct when she went on to have two further episodes. Finally, on May 22nd (at just eight months old) the Vet told me even if I spent hundreds on treatment for her fourth episode; she had a small chance of survival and if she did, she’d likely continue to experience episodes (which are both massively painful and stressful for rabbits) until she died directly from it.
I remember being filled with this freezing cold terror and conviction that this would lead to a repeat of what happened with finding Gracie and I would one day, find Evie dead and – as selfish as this sounds – I honestly couldn’t imagine myself safely making it through a repeat of that traumatic moment. I remember watching Evie be euthanised in my arms and still managing to feel this strange, intense mix of shock and a complete lack of surprise. Like, I knew it was going to happen, but I still somehow couldn’t quite believe I was right! And once again, I had to return to Luna (and Ruby) empty handed and feeling like a complete failure.
Now, whilst another two rabbits have come since losing Evie, a lot happened whilst Evie was alive, so I wanted to circle back to those moments...
I think the next big moment after getting Evie in November was on Christmas Day when I finally announced my ‘best kept secret of 2025’ - that on January 9th this year, I planned to launch a pet bereavement project named Gracie’s Way. I decided to only disclose in the social media posts that I’d obviously decided to create it as a direct result of what happened to Gracie, the date of the launch, and the logo.
In addition to Gracie’s Way stemming from losing and finding Gracie in such a traumatic way, the project was also inspired by an event with Waythrough (the mental health and addictions service who – originally as Richmond Fellowship before merging with Humankind a few years ago – have provided my community mental health support since my discharge from the psychiatric hospital after a two and a half year admission in 2012 – 2014) where I – and a few other service users from their Life Experience Council (which I’m a member of) and their Trustees visited a service in Leeds.
At the event, the Leeds staff were talking about the Memorial Tree they had planted to remember those who had died through addiction, and I proposed the idea of planting trees for those lost through suicide too. Then, feeling strangely comfortable and confident in the room; I decided to disclose that I’d recently lost Gracie and pitched the thought of doing work around pet bereavement and the impact that can have too. The idea was well-received and on the train home, I found myself searching AI (namely Chat GPT) for ideas for project names and on deciding on ‘Gracie’s Way,’ designing the logo via Canva. The staff who had led the event and I quickly realised I’d get the project off the ground a lot quicker if I were to create it alone and have Waythrough endorse it/utilise its Training (which you can read more about here) and resources (which you can read more about here and here). So that’s what I did...
I decided to take my time in creating the resources for both bereaved owners and professionals because I knew that most (all three of them!) pet bereavement organisations or help and support networks, are very obviously and understandably centred around bereaved owners – I've seen little to nothing for professionals who support those grieving. And, through my blogging career, I’ve learnt a lot about the importance of having a niche in communications and marketing if you want to get anywhere in the industry, at least. But, admittedly having those two different audiences with such different needs meant it took quite a while to create the resources – longer than if I’d just been doing them for bereaved owners (who I can obviously better relate to and empathise with).
The other delay in launching Gracie’s Way, was that I made the decision – which I ended up being incredibly pleased with despite the workload it entailed – to create one month worth of daily content for the Gracie’s Way Instagram (I also made the decision to only do Instagram for the project because I was aware that I still needed to manage my own three accounts: @aimeelmccarthy on both Twitter – X – and Instagram!)!
My judgment for how long it would take to do everything, luckily, fell into the fact that I would be done in time to launch on what would have been Gracie’s Third Birthday (January 9th). I created the Instagram (@GraciesWayUK) immediately into organising everything so that I could begin following accounts and I posted a daily, one week countdown to the launch – which, I actually ended up being really proud of the design for it because it was so different and creative to my typical content. And that was what made me realise creating the Gracie’s Way content would be refreshing because all my social media – yes, I share my blog posts on it – but mostly, they’re personal and full of videos and photos of my personal life with my pets and my family and friends.
The Gracie’s Way website (www.graciesway.co.uk) now has over 75,000 views, the Instagram has over 200 followers, I have a Professional Ambassador (who you can get to know on the Meet the Ambassadors page) and I recently recruited three Volunteers: a Project Advisor, Research Coordinator, and Training and Education Coordinator (you can learn more about each of them on the new Meet the Team page over on the website too).
So, a number of years ago, I began experiencing seizures and without any tests, they ruled non-epileptic for about a year. During that time, I remained adamant that I had no control over them and that something was wrong and eventually, after seeing CCTV of one of my seizures (which my Mum managed to secure from a tourist place in Edinburgh – of all places!) the Neurologist commented “that’s genuine Epilepsy.” Before promptly telling me that 1 in 6 people are told it isn’t when it is. Until that point, I could have up to 8 seizures a day and finally, I got medication and my seizures reduced massively.
Then, in May last year, I had one and my knee dislocated. After that, I would continue to get a ‘dead leg’ where the whole upper muscle felt like it would just freeze and cave beneath me and as I hit the floor, my knee would dislocate again. And it happened again and again. Until finally, in April this year, I was called for Medial Patellofemoral Ligament (MPFL) reconstruction surgery.
At first, the Surgeon was hesitant to do it because my mental health wasn’t too stable, but I explained that, if anything, surgery would help that because the constant dislocations, ambulances, and having to go to hospital (because, even though the Surgeon taught me how to relocate the kneecap myself, sometimes I couldn’t and sometimes I would still have to go to hospital for an x-ray to confirm there was no further damage) were really affecting my mood and my mobility. I also had to take really strong painkillers which carried the risk of addiction. But unfortunately, the Surgeon turned out to be right. The pain afterward and the almost complete loss of mobility (yes, short-term, but it felt like forever!) played absolute havoc with my mood and literally the day after surgery, I was assessed by the Crisis Team and put on caseload for the following fortnight.
Now, that pain was a strange thing because I remember the impact it had on me, I remember crying my eyes out and my Mum and Dad (Stepdad, but I just say ‘Dad’) having to come over twice per day for the first week or so to help take care of the pets. That was another one of the hardest bits; being unable to look after my own babies (at that point; I obviously still had Luna, Ruby, and Evie) because having responsibility for someone other than myself, is actually a massively helpful quality of my pets for my mental health. So, feeling useless and irresponsible – despite the fact it wasn’t really my ‘fault’ – really wasn’t good for me and my wellbeing.
Another tricky moment came when it was time to take my dressings off – with the Surgeon having told me I would have two tiny scars; I actually came out with six scars and two are a few inches in length! I cried my eyes out when I saw them. My knee looked hideous. Ugly, even. Honestly, if I’d been told about the reality, I likely wouldn’t have been so dramatic over it – it was mostly that it was so unexpected, and I felt unprepared entirely. But strangely, almost as quick as it happened and as fast as the pain was horrific, it was tempering away and then it was gone and now? I can barely remember exactly how it felt.
Within two days of losing Evie, I was picking up a new bunny; Tillie; a white mini-Lionhead lop with a little grey nose! It was so great how I got her because I’d actually spotted a litter on the website I used before and messaged the breeder but was told they were all sold. Then the following day, she messaged to say that the people who were buying Tillie hadn’t turned up, and I felt so lucky because out of the whole litter, she’d actually been the one I wanted most! What are the chances?!
Once again, Luna bonded immediately with Tillie; which I had actually been a bit surprised about because I’d gotten her so soon after losing Evie but just as I had done with Gracie; I felt heartbroken whenever I saw Luna sitting or lying by herself in another room. I think Luna is just meant to have a friend. I think she just really enjoys having that company and sharing things and having someone to wash and play with!
Unfortunately, we had even less time with Tillie than we had with Evie had when she was just five months old, I found her not eating, cold, lethargic, and lying in her own wee. I didn’t even care that I had my pjs on, I picked her up and cuddled her in with a blanket around her and then got a taxi and took her straight to the Vets and was told numerous times, by the Vet, that she wasn’t worried. She said her gut sounds (which are meant to be loud but go quieter or silent with Gut Stasis) were slightly dull but nowhere near concerning or worthy of a Gut Stasis diagnosis. She eventually decided to prescribe the medication required for Stasis but said she was doing so in case Tillie ended up needing it and not because she did at that time.
The Vet offered to admit Tillie but at a cost of over £1,000 for just 24 hours. I asked what the purpose would be of keeping her in, and she said it was just that if something went wrong and she deteriorated and became poorly, there would be staff on hand, and they could administer all the same medication that I could give her at home. For me, this wasn’t worth over £1,000, so I declined.
Towards the end of the appointment, I asked if Tillie’s temperature had been ok and the Vet replied, “oh! I haven’t done that!” and, knowing that a rabbit’s temperature is a really good indicator of how poorly they are – or aren’t – so I explained her ears felt cold. The Vet felt them and commented “they don’t feel that cold to me” and then proceeded to basically wrap up the appointment and sent me to Reception to pay the bill (£285!). I took Tillie home still with this deep, dark feeling that was something wrong.
I took her out of the carrier in the kitchen and was in the bedroom when, an hour and twenty minutes later, I heard a funny noise from the kitchen. Ruby (my cat) had been asleep on the pillow next to me, but she sat bolt upright and usually, when the rabbits make a noise, she ignores it and doesn’t even react. So, this felt like a sign that something was massively wrong, and I ran through the kitchen. I found Tillie amongst the pots and pans in the storage beneath the cooker, and she was jolting in these really sudden movements. I was immediately convinced that she was having a seizure and ran to the bedroom to get my phone, ran back through to the kitchen, and began filming with the thought that once she came through it, I could take her back to the Vets and show them what had happened and what it had looked like etc.
But in the movements, she was sort of working her way out from under the cooker so after thirty seconds, I propped my phone against something nearby and started wondering if she was caught in one of the pans, so I started helping her out. At one point her head was sort of out and she was still jolting and I stroked her ear and tried to soothe her then I moved loads of pans and got her out completely but as I pulled her out, she lay on her side, took three big breaths, her back feet jolted and then the light left her eyes and she went completely still. I screamed and quickly stopped videoing to ring my Mum in hysterics, and she said she and my Dad would come straight over. I didn’t want to be alone, I needed someone and I felt sick and claustrophobic and I couldn’t stop staring at her lifeless body, so I rushed to my next-door neigbour’s.
I slammed on her door, and she came to it and I told her “Tillie’s just died! Please come!” and I took her back to my kitchen and I just remember saying “she’s gone, isn’t she?!” as though there was still some sort of chance, she was alive or that I could do something to help or save her. But of course, that wasn’t the case. I called the Vets and asked to speak to the one who’d seen her but was told she was in an emergency, so I literally said “well tell her Tillie just died and I’ll be putting a complaint in” and the Receptionist said, “do you know what you want to do about cremation?!” And I was like, “you’re actually going to ask me that now?!” and hung up the phone!
The day after losing Tillie, I took her to the normal veterinary practice (I hadn’t taken her there when she was poorly because they were closed for Bank Holiday) and I showed them the video of Tillie dying to see what they thought had happened (like if it had been a seizure)/caused it. I was so glad I showed her because she noticed something I hadn’t - Tillie’s mouth was turning blue, so she thought the jolting wasn’t a seizure; it was her struggling to breathe and trying to catch her breath. She also – devastatingly – said that if Tillie had been in their care (so in other words, if the Vet had pushed for admission and said it would save her life) they probably could have saved her because they could have administered oxygen and CPR.
As a result of this, I did what I’d been very considering since it happened... I put a complaint into the veterinary surgery but obviously concerning that particular Vet. I eventually got a reply which basically admitted to everything: she should’ve pushed harder for admission; she should have done Tillie’s temperature and generally communicated everything a lot better. So, they offered me a full refund for the bill I’d paid but I had to receive it, I had to sign this contract that said the refund didn’t mean they were negligent or liable and that I couldn’t take the investigation/complaint further. It was upsetting to accept it to be honest because I knew it wasn’t bringing Tillie back, but I came to accept – eventually – nothing they said or did could do that anyway, so I signed the contract and the money was literally in my bank the following day!
There’s actually three reels/videos on Instagram about Tillie if you’d like to watch:
1. The memorial reel: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dct4caWtZLf/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&psln=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
2. A Guide to the First 24 hours in Pet Bereavement: https://www.instagram.com/p/DdBpkMUiJQ7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
3. The reel of the audio from her dying: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dc6nD_QIoew/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&obrf=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I also decided to create an entire, new resource on the pet bereavement project (Gracie’s Way) which I named Trust Tillie! It includes: a page about Tillie, about Trust Tillie, the Aims of Trust Tillie, a checklist of Pet Promises, activity sheets called You Know Your Pet and Something Is Different, an encouraging advice page called You Can Ask Questions, a Before You Leave Checklist, ideas on a page called Questions to Ask, a checklist called Ensure It’s Done, advice pages called Phrasing Your Worries and When You’re Overwhelmed, activity sheets called You Freeze, What It Isn’t Adding Up, Appointment Review, and My Pet’s Plan If It Changes, tips and advice on a page called Prognosis Questions, an activity page called My Pet’s Last Day Plan, and a Help Directory. There’s a ton more content on Trust Tillie:
The actual website page: https://www.graciesway.co.uk/p/trust-tillie.html
An Official Release Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/Dd15ZuriDV9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&xtok=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
A Guest Post on my best-friend's blog: https://www.gumonmyshoe.com/2026/10/how-losing-tillie-helped-to-create.html
An Instagram post called ’Behind the Girl Who Created Trust Tillie Is...’: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DfACcatIt-y/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&rpxt=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
In June, Waythrough decided to launch their new, ten-year Strategy: The Way Ahead (which you can read all about here: https://www.waythrough.org.uk/who-we-are/our-strategy/) and held a number of events – the largest being in London. I thoroughly enjoyed this; they put me up overnight in a Hub by Premier Inn (which, I will admit to not being massively pleased with when I first put in a room on the MINUS 2 floor – yes, you read that right –2!! None of my devices had any signals – not even SOS mode! And with my Epilepsy, I recognised this as a huge safety issue and went down to see the receptionist, and I was eventually given a room on the 3rd floor!).
Now, before Richmond Fellowship and Humankind merged a few years ago, I used to do events with them all the time too and when there was a few service users and staff staying in the same hotel, on the evening before the event we would all have dinner together because the organisation would be paying for it anyway for us. So, for my first event with the Life Experience Council and Waythrough a few years ago, I suggested we do the same and everyone loved the idea – including the staff – and so we’ve always done it. So, in London, our hotel didn’t have our restaurant orders(!), so we ended up at a little Italian around the corner called Franco Manca and ended up all agreeing we would greatly recommend it!
After the food we all went back to the hotel, and I got cozy in the big, freshly cleaned (it smelled delicious!) bed and ended up having a much better sleep than I usually do in hotel rooms when I’m away from home! So, the next day I felt refreshed – which was lucky because it was a bit of an early start as a few of us walked with Paul to the venue which was at the London Irish Centre in Camden.
We kicked off the event with a welcome speech from Paul before in which he talked about the suit he was wearing, and he explained that it was actually from his Wedding which was the happiest day of his personal life. He then said he was wearing it for the event to launch Waythrough’s new ten-year Strategy – The Way Ahead – was the greatest day of his career, so it felt fitting to wear it again. This actually made me really emotional because it’s honestly not often enough – especially in mental health services – that you get a Chief Executive who is that dedicated, passionate, and committed to the organisation. In absolute keeping with this, we then heard from Georgie Challen-Crossan a Waythrough Peer Mentor Apprentice who had previously been a service user. She talked about her recovery story from abuse and subsequent mental illness and her passion for her job and she did so in such a lovely and unique way that she earned a standing ovation afterwards. Now, having received a few of those myself after speeches, I could totally empathise with how meaningful and special it can be/feel - especially since I’ve also experienced abuse.
Now, in all honesty, I’m struggling to remember the exact order of the rest of the day, so I’ll just chat through what I remember and bear in mind it might not be in the order of the actual agenda...
So, at one point we split into groups where we had about three different presentations/sessions happening in different parts of the venue and everyone had to choose which to go to. The session that the Life Experience Council were running was all about the different opportunities us service users have had through the Council and other staff from different departments who have attended Council meetings to offer us chances to work with them on specific projects. I was asked to speak at this one about my experience joining the Board of Trustees at a Board meeting. The entire Council was offered the opportunity to do this by Trustee; Ian Ayling (who you can read more about here: https://www.waythrough.org.uk/who-we-are/our-trustees/) and I actually ended up being the first service user to do it!
In my little five-minute speech (because there were other service users who were talking about all the different opportunities they’d contributed to too), I talked about how much it meant for those who were so ‘high up’ in the organisation to show this care and consideration for service users. I mentioned how there had been so many instances in the meeting where I had been able to say, “and have you have asked service users about this?” and “have you thought about having a service user help with that?” I said in my speech that the finance section had gone straight over my head and that it’d be good if there were any service users who cared about that industry to also attend a Board meeting. I also explained that the invitation to attend the meeting was a really big illustration of the fact Waythrough recognised us service users have passions, interests, qualifications, career experience, and so much more that is outside of the reasons why we’re under the service. It’s not all we are. And those qualities we have can actually help the organisation in such a huge variety of ways.
At the event, I also did the brief Naloxone training where Harm Reduction Lead; Jon Findlay trained a number of us in administering the antidote medication for an opioid overdose. I really enjoyed it because it made me feel really productive and actually useful and it was rewarding to know that really, I could help to save someone’s life and help them begin to embark on recovery or get help and support.
At the end of the event, were two exciting bits:
The first was that I was invited by Head of Communication for Waythrough to be on a Q&A Panel where another senior member of the Communications and Marketing team asked myself and four others a number of questions. I was honoured - and a little bit intimidated to be honest – to hear who else was on the Panel: there was Anna Randle who was a CEO for a service, Selina Douglas who is a Waythrough Trustee (you can read about her on the Trustees page I linked earlier), Dr Ballal Seddique who was a Clinical Lead, and another professional whose name and role totally escapes me now!
GEM member; Ted Haughey (who you could actually read about on the Waythrough website here: https://www.waythrough.org.uk/who-we-are/our-executive-team/) did a Q&A with ex-footballer and recovering addict: Paul Merson. This was really interesting and whilst I haven’t experienced addiction, I managed to really relate to him when he talked about his reluctance to reach out for help and tell people he was struggling because he worried people would think him ungrateful when he was rich, famous, and successful in his career. The reason I related – and I told him this afterwards when I was able to meet him and take a photo – were really connected to my Influencer career and my concern that if I was to struggle, some people would accuse me of being unappreciative of all my followers and the opportunities and freebies I’m granted because of the success and popularity of my blog/content.
Finally, there’s also an Instagram post about this event on my Instagram which you can see here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DZLfiOSjeAF/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&vrfl=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
A while ago, one of the Trustees; Ian Ayling (who I mentioned earlier and gave the link to read more about him) attended a Life Experience Council meeting and proposed the idea that members of the Council – who were interested – could attend Trustee Board Meetings. I ended up being the first to volunteer and attended my very first Board meeting in March 2026. It went so well that it was agreed I would attend two more with a number of service users before handing over to the other service users who’d volunteered who would then sit in four meetings.
So, the next Board meeting was at the end of June 2026 (and it was actually labelled their ‘Development Days’ so we were all invited to Manchester to do a service visit (which I couldn’t do due to train times/hotel check-in times, a Development Session (which again clashed with train and check-in times for me), then we had the reasonably lengthy (about three hours) Board Meeting.
Now, the Board Meetings are actually incredibly confidential in most parts so it’s going to be difficult provide much insight so excuse me if I keep some of the items on the agenda a secret or brief:
Welcome: this was to the other Service User and I and the new Trustees recently hired as a result of that service user and myself conducting interviews with a member of staff.
Approving the minutes from the previous Board Meeting in March that I attended.
A confidential agenda item.
Governance – Board Appointments: This involved a bit more in-depth introduction and welcome to the three new Trustees we’d helped hire and the appointment of one Trustee becoming Safeguarding Lead – something/someone that I hope to feature an article on as my roles of Lead Content Creator for the external Waythrough magazine; Coming Together (which you can tons about and subcribe to it – with it being external you don’t have to be staff or a service user – here: https://www.waythrough.org.uk/get-involved/coming-together/ and I actually also wrote a blog post about the fact that the Waythrough Communications and Marketing team have brough in two service users to the magazine’s Editorial Board – myself being one of them – so you can read that too, here: https://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2026/06/a-true-inspiration-for-organisations.html).
A confidential agenda item.
Committee Updates: this included reports from Committee Leads of departments that include one confidential one, the Finance and Investiment Committee, People and Culture Committee, and the Quality and Performance Committee.
Another confidential agenda item – sorry!
The CEO update: which was obviously led by Paul Townsley (who I linked more about earlier).
A confidential agenda item.
The final confidential item – you're welcome!
Any other business
Summary of the meeting, actions, and reflections: this is where the Chair of the Trustees – who I’m not sure I’ve mentioned yet but she’s called Carolyn Regan and is so lovely that she actually posted me a thank you card after my final/third meeting with the Board in September 2026.
One of the key things – for me/in my opinion – to come from the Board Meeting was in one of the confidential items when they talked about mental health legislation and creating a report on it. I pitched the idea of having a service user help with that to be able to supply actual, real-life experience on how it feels to be under legislation like the various sections (including the Police power of 136) of the 1983 Mental Health Act and the 2005 Capacity Act. The entire Board actually really loved this idea and I contacted the member of GEM who was tasked with putting the report together to ask whether I should do a stand-alone document or a document where she could pick bits from it and put them into her own report. But another Trustee – in a different meeting where we discussed this idea – said she’d like it to be a standalone document to ensure it was obvious which bits of it were quotes/input/contributions from me. Then the GEM member also emailed that perhaps an additional idea inspired by this one for me to have some invovlement in auditing so, I’m working on the legislation document and meeting with the GEM member and someon else at the end of November to discuss next steps! This just shows the power and influence of involving service users in the leadership team meetings, etc.
That night, we all met for dinner at the hotel we were staying at and where all the meetings/sessions etc were held in one of their Conference Rooms, it was called the Clayton Hotel (who you can follow on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/claytonhotelmanchestercity/) and I had the best view on the 15th floor! I could see the whole skyline of Manchester! You can see it too in my Instagram reel of the trip: https://www.instagram.com/p/DaA2HmGtaCi/). I absolutely loved the atmosphere of the dinner (I won’t lie; I wasn’t too fond of the food – not that they got anything ‘wrong’ just that it wasn’t my kind of taste).
The following day, we had a Development Day where the agenda was as follows:
Welcome and introductions.
A celebration of the new Strategy by CEO Paul Townsley which included highlights from the Strategy events (there wasn’t just the one in London, I actually spoke at two or three others that were online and with the workforce and then with the Service Managers.
A presentation titled ‘What Next for Our Way Ahead’ by a GEM member and Executive Director of Communications which included a few thinking activities.
Risk Management section which really facilitated/prompted discussions amongst the Board rather than being too much of a presentation or report.
A confidential agenda item.
Another confidential agenda item.
Summary of the Meeting and key actions which were led by the Chair.
I really enjoyed this Day as it was a bit more informal and activity-driven, so it meant more ideas – of both of us two Service Users and the Trustees etc. – could be shared and discussions had. The only downside was that the meeting was meant to last a certain length of time but for some reason, some staff were booked on trains that left earlier so the Day finished early and it meant I had to wait in the train station for a few hours until mine was due. In fairness, Waythrough very kindly but also, rightly so; reimbursed the cost of the snacks I bought whilst waiting!
In around December last year at a Christmas Market, I met with the Author and Illustrator Stacey McNeill (who you can find on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/staceymcneillauthor) of Fox Under the Moon (which you can find on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/foxunderthemoon_art/. We managed to connect and swapped contact details to create a collaboration on I’m NOT Disordered (so you can read that here: https://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2026/01/relating-to-my-two-favourite-pages-in.html) and Instagram (which you can view here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DT2XThMDQxP/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&exln=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==).
In our emails, Stacey kindly offered to contact a connection she had with a Journalist at BBC Radio Newcastle and finally in the beginning of March, Laura was able to email back and said that my story sounded fascinating and they would love to have on the show with Anna Foster. I was so chuffed! I hadn’t appeared in much media for a long time (I used to do a lot of it: including the Chronicle, Take A Break Magazine, BBC Radio 5 Live, BBC News at 10, the Mirror online, the Daily Mail online, a Channel 4 Dispatches documentary, MADE in Tyne and Wear News, Metro Radio, ITV Regional News,and so many more!) so I was really excited to do it on a new platform with a new person because it meant my story etc. might be approached differently and the appearance might have a different impact on my blog’s success and popularity.
I was also over the moon when they offered to include a bit in the interview with Anna about Gracie’s Way and so I posted a bit of a teaser on Instagram which simply read ‘You call her ‘just’ a rabbit? Now tune into BBC Radio Newcastle and hear her powerful legacy!’ (you can view it here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DalyVlaCPCG/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&xtok=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). I obviously did another piece of content on there too after the interview so you can actually hear the interview in this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DbOPo-oCLkw/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&obrf=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==.
My favourite part of the interview with Anna Foster was actually more of a general quality and it was that she’d really done her research into me, my blog, and – what was particularly special and meaningful – was that she even knew some about Gracie’s Way. And another fact that she was aware of that meant a great deal was about my original mental health diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and the fact it had been changed to Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) - a fact you can read a bit about on the Rethink website here: https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/about-mental-illness/mental-health-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-emotionally-unstable-personality-disorder-eupd/ or in an article on Psychiatric Times website: https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/borderline-personality-disorder-retaining-the-name-for-diagnostic-clarity. I think it was honestly phenomenal that she understood this fact and had really actually established the importance of it for so many people with the diagnosis.
You can hear Part One (there was a break in the middle of it – which was unexpected because I was originally told I had 5 – 8 minutes and I ended up on air for a total of 20 minutes!) of my interview over on this video on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdx5QhKm8Ks&t=444s
Part Two is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ii6ciPlAws&t=255s
When I commented on the fact that I had been on for a lot longer than what was expected, I was actually told by quite a few people I said it to that I must have been saying something good, or they would’ve kicked me off ages ago! And when the Producers and Anna said at the end of the interview “you’re more than welcome to come back whenever you want!” I felt really reassured that I’d done a fairly good job! I felt proud – something that I don’t experience too often because I’m actually usually and naturally hard on myself. I used to struggle to blow my own trumpet but have definitely learnt over the years of my blogging career that if you don’t have this attitude and do this behaviour, you won’t get far in the industry! Like, if you’re pitching a collaboration, you need to be able to tell people how popular and successful you/your content is to encourage them to work with you. You can’t just play it cool and playthings down because why would anyone team up with someone mediocre or who has literally no achievements or monumental statistics.
Finally, there’s another piece of content which is actually an article on the Gracie’s Way website which is titled ‘Q&A Insight into Upcoming BBC Radio Appearance with Project Lead’ and you can read it here: https://www.graciesway.co.uk/2026/07/q-insight-into-upcoming-bbc-radio.html.
On September 10th, 2026, I picked up my youngest bunny; Nala. After the heartbreak of Tillie’s untimely, traumatic, painful, and stressful death just over one week earlier, I made the decision to get Nala. A few days earlier, Luna had all the symptoms of Gut Stasis, and the Vet made the comment that not only was it likely caused by the stress and upset of losing Tillie (especially in the way she did because Luna witnessed the whole thing), but she also would have a better chance of making it through and avoiding additional episodes of it, if she had a new friend. And I actually made the decision to film a full video for my Instagram account on the day I picked her up where I talked through all my reasons for getting her, so if you want to hear it properly, you can watch that here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DdH9VHUtbkS/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&dlrf=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&srtk=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==.
For those who don’t have Instagram, can’t watch it, or for whatever reason don’t want to because they don’t like watching videos etc. in the video, I also explained with the Vet’s comment and the fact that there’d been all that negligence with the Vet surrounding Tillie’s death, I don’t know how I could live with myself if I hadn’t followed this Vet’s advice and not gotten her a friend. And especially if I didn’t purely because my biggest reason was that others wouldn’t agree with the decision... So, in the video I explained that I had actually decided to sit down and talk through my decision because I recognised that some people might not only be surprised but also not be in agreement with my decision with arguments such as “it’s too soon” or “you’re putting yourself through the chance of it happening again.” And that last one was a huge difficulty that my family (Mum and Dad) experienced, and I appreciated where they were coming from – especially when they explained it more – that the thought mostly stemmed from them hearing me in pieces on the phone and then having to see me in pieces too. It was obviously hard for them, and I think they worried about my mental health and how I’d cope with another loss despite the fact that I’d coped well and safely since losing Tillie.
I explained in the video though, that also, the chances of that exact situation happening again were so slim and that any thoughts of reasons not to get Nala weren’t even close to counteracting and outweighing all the reasons why I wanted and needed to get her. And I mentioned the fact that the thought of how much benefit getting Nala would have for Luna and also my cat, Ruby. I said that she used to love watching Tillie and that she’d actually started spending a lot of time in the kitchen with Luna (Luna was rarely leaving the kitchen – which I think was because that’s where Tillie died) and when Luna did leave the kitchen, she was clearly searching for Tillie. She would look to all of her usual hiding and sleeping places and it was heartbreaking to watch her become disappointed and then go off and just lay by herself when usually she would be snuggled with Tillie.
I also mentioned a safety issue in the video. When I first brought Tillie home, I learnt that it can actually be dangerous for a smaller, young rabbit to be unattended with a larger, older bunny. This is because rabbits – even when they’re both girls – will still mount one another but rather than this be a sexual act, they bite onto the other one’s scruff of their neck and it’s really to assert dominance and to declare their territory etc. And it can get a bit full-on and energetic to say the least, so if you have an older rabbit who weighs a lot more, it can be dangerous. So, when I learned Nala was actually 12 weeks old (they can actually leave their Mum at 8 weeks) I was a bit relieved and in addition to the safety aspect, I also questioned whether it would make her a bit more confident and braver because she wasn’t so small when meeting my 2. something kg Luna.
Whilst I stroked Nala and first showed her to the camera, I talked about how much light and happiness she had already brought to my home, and that ‘Nala’ can actually mean ‘a gift’ in some countries. And I felt – and still feel – she had been a little gift for my family. And when I introduced her to Luna and within three hours, they were sleeping in the same bed? Well, I very obviously knew that I was absolutely right and I’ve literally never felt more validated when it comes to my pets! For me, knowing what my pets want and need is a huge confidence boost and a quality I feel I have and which I’m incredibly proud to have! So, seeing Luna so happy, energetic, and almost instantly healthy again, was the absolute icing on the cake and a real illustration of how right I had been.
There’s obviously been a number of pieces of content about Nala since that day, here they all are:
I really hope you’ve enjoyed reading this very lengthy blog post, I felt it deserved its big space on the blog though but well done to those who made it through the thing(!) and I look forward to seeing you all in the next one!