Photography - R J Photography
drama
ˈdrɑːmə/
noun
noun: drama; plural noun: dramas
1. a play for theatre, radio, or television.
"a gritty urban drama about
growing up in Harlem"
2. an exciting, emotional, or unexpected event or circumstance.
"a hostage drama"
It’s
an understatement to say that while I was being abused, my behaviour changed dramatically - I think it’s an obvious
one though… Keeping abuse a secret can cause a lot of conflicting thoughts and
feelings; a lot of pent up anger and frustration.
For
me, I was angry that no one could see what was going on. How could no one see
beyond my actions? My behaviour? It was labelled ‘dramatic.’ I, was labelled a
‘drama queen.’ Since then if anyone has called me that in jest or in banter
then I’ve thought straight back to that bullying in High School while I was
abused. Back to when I took my anger out on the teachers who were meant to have
the authority to stop this sort of thing. On everyone in the one place that is
meant to be safe for children and young people.
Drama
can be tiring and gruelling; so I wanted to give you all advice and tips on
avoiding such situations so as to maintain a healthy mental health…
FAMILY DRAMA
I
rarely talk about my family but let’s just say that it is because of recent
actions that I am writing this post.
My
family is the definition of drama. It’s the one thing we do well as a team.
It
gets tiring though. And it is for that reason that I try to stay out of things.
It’s hard sometimes though when a member of the family comes to you, telling
you everything another has said/done; it’s hard not to have an opinion. And
when a relative is in tears because of another, it’s hard to keep that opinion
quiet and to yourself.
It’s
important to support your family members in whatever they are going through and
you can do this with feuding ones whilst being careful to remain neutral. It’s
especially hard when the family members are older than yourself and you
recognise such childish qualities come through during the arguments. Like
everyone, family often say things to one another in the heat of the moment that
they later regret saying, and can’t even comprehend how angry they must’ve been
to have come out with such a thing. It’s essential not to take things serious
in dramatic situations and to remain calm to avoid saying something you too
will later regret.
The
most important thing, I think, is to remind yourself that these people are your
family. You love them more than anyone in the world. And at the end of the day,
life is too short for petty arguments about who did what to who!
WORK DRAMA
Luckily,
being a Blogger involves a lot of work from home and that means that the only
animate objects I could argue with are a cat and a rabbit (that doesn’t mean it
doesn’t happen though!).
When
I first started volunteering as a Advertising Assistant for a support group for
those who are unemployed and on benefits, there was some… drama! I think that
the group was at a point where it had lost its way, almost. It had stopped
being about the positive support and was more about people’s individual agendas.
In particular, politics. Politics is never really a good talking point for a
group of people; it is inevitable that people will have different thoughts and
opinions. And there’ll be people, like me, who don’t follow politics and have
no real interest in hearing others argue over it. That first day at that job, I
quit! Luckily, I did go back and discovered that the senior members of the
group had realised that there’d been some miscommunication and together, we all
worked out most of the kinks. I’d
still say we’re a pretty dysfunctional family and on occasion, personalities,
and beliefs clash.
I
try to avoid the dramas by not taking anything personally, and by allowing
people to talk about any feelings different to my own; in the same way that I
would expect those to let me.
HEALTH DRAMA
This
is definitely a drama that cannot be avoided – in most instances! I guess that
the greatest way to avoid dramas in your physical health; looking after it as
much as you can eg plenty sleep, and water, eat well, do some level of
exercise, limit alcohol and don’t smoke… Everyone’s guilty of not doing
some/most, of these things; but it’s important to try.
I,
personally, have also learnt that it’s important to listen to Doctor’s orders
too. If you’re diagnosed with something and are given medication or advice to
get better then it’s important that you follow this and take care of yourself
so that you feel at your very best and are able to do all of the things that
you enjoy.
In
Cygnet (the psychiatric hospital that set the ball in motion on my mental
health recovery) some of the girls would pretend to be unwell (physically) or
make themselves unwell to have time out of therapy sessions, activities groups
(that were compulsory). They’d swap them for time in bed, and having everything
brought to your room. Those who were under section and had no leave into the
grounds or to see family would often fake illness to go to A&E because they
were so desperate for time off the ward! Luckily, I didn’t get sucked into the
cycle.
Ooooo!
Final bit of advice on this one; take advantage of your local pharmacy!
Pharmacists usually have just as good knowledge and advice as a GP will/does. They
can also give you advice on medication and the range of over-the-counter meds is
brilliant to avoid trips to the GP for minor ailments. You should have
laxatives, painkillers and plasters in the house at all times!
RELATIONSHIP DRAMA
Something
I feel is such a key issue in most young people’s lives; women in particular. I
think that I spent sixth form constantly listening to friends’ rant about the
latest drama in their romantic life. I always just sat thinking ‘why are you
bothering then?’ Friends would be sat crying, frustrated that their boyfriend
wasn’t paying them enough attention or was cheating.
I
didn’t have a relationship until Ronnie in 2009 so I wasn’t sure if I was best
placed to give friends advice when they’d come and rant to me. I’d sit and
listen but I couldn’t understand why the issue was so complex. Surely, if
you’re in a relationship that’s causing drama – tiring, frustrating, drama –
then why would you stay in it?
Being
in a relationship, and in love; my opinion hasn’t changed. Everyone deserves to
have someone in their life that makes them feel happy and loved and if you have
anyone do anything else then why keep them in your life?
FRIEND DRAMA
This
is something I’ve, unfortunately, dealt with very recently; the issue of
falling out with – and drifting away from - friends.
I
think that I’m one of those people who would rather have very few close friends
rather than a lot of friends that don’t know me well.
Planning
my wedding, I’ve learnt a lot about who my friends are. Knowing that I had to
decide who would be by Bridesmaids I felt myself suddenly questioning my
friendships; trying to determine who I thought, realistically, would still be
in my life in a few years’ time (particularly 2019 when I get married). After
the questioning, it had actually been really good for me… and my relationship
with my best-friends/bridesmaids!
There
was a huge setback though… A huge drama. And I lost one of my best-friends
because of it. My bridesmaid count went from 5 to 4. I cried for almost two
days over the fallout and the horror that I could be so wrong about someone,
but then I realised that I didn’t need this in my life. My wedding will be the
most important moment in my life and the last thing I want is dramatics! I know
that many weddings feature them but if I can control it to avoid these, then
why not make the decisions and choices for that to happen. Or not happen. You
know what I mean! It’s the same as with relationships; why have someone in your
life who is capable of such actions/drama? It’s been a heart wrench to lose a
person that I’ve known for almost ten years, and who I’ve gone through so much
with; but in the end? … Everything happens for a reason and it’s sad that it
took this fallout and argument to help me to see the friendship wasn’t right
anymore but at least I’ve learnt it. And in time for the wedding!
And
in case they read this, my Maids of Honour, Angi and Zoe, my Chief Bridesmaid
Ellie and my Bridesmaid Lauren; thank you for not leaving me. And for promising
to stand by my side on the most important day of my life.