Pros
Number One
Less
pressure to be doing something constantly, which means I can have a day in bed
without it worrying people.
Number Two
Not having
to queue for my medication or having to take my night-time meds before eleven
pm when I want to stay up late.
Number Three
Not having
to spend my time doing something that I don’t want to do or that I will not
benefit from e.g. some of the groups in hospital such as ‘Current Affairs.’
Number Four
Not needing
permission to do the simplest of things; such as go outside, use a razor and
see my Mum.
Number Five
Not having
to open my post in front of someone, who then decides whether I can keep
everything.
Number Six
Dolly!
Number Seven
No longer
waiting for someone to look in on me so that hearing a noise in my home doesn’t
mean it’s staff making sure I’m ok.
Number Eight
Fewer
arguments in my day-to-day living. Less drama.
Number Nine
Not having
to explain myself or beg for PRN medication when I’m especially struggling.
Number Ten
Being able
to see my Mum and friends much easier than when I was almost 200 miles away
from them.
Cons
Number One
That I can
lay on the bathroom floor crying for over an hour and no one will know.
Number Two
That if I
don’t take my medication, there’ll only be a fuss about it if I tell someone or
if it affects me.
Number Three
I can
self-harm and/or overdose and no one could know.
Number Four
I can
silently struggle with hallucinations and there not be anyone who notices and
suggests medication or a chat.
Number Five
That my best-friend
isn’t two doors away.
Number Six
That I have
to rely on my kitten to make me laugh instead of actual people; no playing
pranks on staff or mattress surfing down the corridor!
Number Seven
There are
no materialistic consequences if I self-harm or overdose e.g. I don’t get put
in an empty bedroom, or stopped from going out.
Number Eight
Not being
able to talk to and get support from the best Doctor EVER! Which means having
no professional that I can be 100% Aimee with or who understands me almost as
well as I know myself.
Number Nine
Feeling
surrounded by professionals who ‘know’ me even less than the hospital staff
did.
Number Ten
Only I can
stop myself. And sometimes, I don’t.