Among many opportunities I’ve been
offered – and have accepted – recently; is to work personally with an Author
whose book is about to be released VERY soon; (that’s all I can say until the
official press release on September 7th!) and it made me think about
Marty and Fran. They have both featured many times on I’m NOT Disordered and
Marty recently supported me at an ITV event (post to come soon) so I wanted to
check back in with them and see how they felt about their own book, (High Tide,
Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder) almost one year since
publishing.
My best friend Fran Houston and I wrote High Tide, Low
Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder to share what we
have learned about building a caring, mutually supportive, friendship between a
“well one” and an “ill one.” We hope our book will inspire and inform others
who—like me—want to help support a friend who happens to live with mental
illness. Fran lives in the US, with three invisible and episodic conditions:
bipolar disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME), and fibromyalgia. Despite
living 3,000 miles away in the UK, I am Fran’s primary support and carer. “High
Tide, Low Tide” was published by Nordland Publishing, in September 2016.
Is there anything you regret writing about, or that you wish you’d
included?
That’s a great question! One reviewer felt it took a while to get
to the meat of the book. I think that’s a fair comment, although it’s hard to
say what I would choose to leave out from the Front Matter, as it’s called. We
have a brilliant Foreword by bestselling author Rachel Kelly, whose books
include Black Rainbow: How Words Healed Me, Walking on
Sunshine: 52 Small Steps to Happiness, and The Happy Kitchen: Good
Mood Food. Rachel is also a mental health campaigner and ambassador
for Rethink Mental Illness, Young Minds, Sane and The Counselling Foundation.
The Introduction is essential, as is Fran’s essay “Lessons of the
Night,” which eloquently describes her life with illness and sets the scene for
the rest of the book. My Preface, in which I cover how the book came to be
conceived, could probably have been left out, and we might have moved the
Acknowledgements section to the back..
As for the main body of the book, I don’t regret anything we
included. It was important to us both that we were open and honest with our
readers. That’s why we chose to include many of our conversations and
correspondence, as well as excerpts from my personal journal. One of the
benefits of a distance, online relationship is that there is an archive of
messages, emails, and social media interactions to draw on. The downside is,
there’s so much of it! It was tough to extract, collate and select passages
which would best illustrate the topics being discussed. For every conversation
or email we included, there were many more we had to omit.
Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?
On the whole, I think we did pretty well. Fran and I had each
published previously but this was our first book of this type, and the first
either of us had co-authored. We were very much feeling our way forward,
learning as we went. I wanted to prove to myself we could fit the writing
process into our lives, and drafted several chapters before giving much thought
to the book proposal. In retrospect, that was a mistake. The proposal helped us
focus on our target audience, the purpose for the book, and to see it alongside
similar or competing books already on the market. We devoted too much time and
effort to putting the proposal together, however. Another time, we would keep
the proposal shorter and more tightly focused.
In terms of the writing itself, we worked well from the start. We
exploited technology such as Google Docs and a shared calendar so we could
co-write and co-edit documents despite being on opposite sides of the Atlantic.
I kept a close eye on the chapter structure as we went along, as well as all
the various versions of documents (notes, drafts, chapters, and the book as a
whole).
We organised a number of release events (cover reveal, launch
party, and a live book reading / fundraiser for Maine mental health nonprofit
Family Hope) which got our book off to a great start, although it took its toll
on Fran’s health. Doing more, such as a blog tour, or more book readings and
interviews, would have been good, but I’m proud of what we achieved. And not
everything we pushed for worked out, or was picked up on.
Do you feel disappointed?
To be honest, yes. We had—and continue to have—fantastic support,
from friends, from others we’ve met on this journey we’ve been on, from our
publishers, and from the wider mental health community. But it’s hard not to
feel disappointed that we weren’t picked up more by the press and some of the
organisations we approached. I must make clear this is no reflection at all on
the many folk who so generously lent us their energies and expertise. Not every
lead or approach is going to pan out, of course, and it certainly hasn’t put us
off. It just means we get to work at it harder! We were unfortunately unable to
take up a couple of opportunities which did come our way, but that was from
circumstances beyond our control.
What opportunities (if any) have come off the back of the book?
Aside from those we had to decline (hopefully, we can pick some of
them up in the future) I was delighted to accept an invitation recently to meet
with a group at Northumbria University working in the Social Work field. Our
book is to be recommended for the university library, and is being considered
for its relevance to some of the courses. I’m excited about the potential to
work with the university further in the future, and would love to connect with
other universities or organisations who might be interested in our book and
experiences.
I recently accepted an invitation to speak at an event in November
for Talking FreELY, a new project in the beautiful cathedral city of Ely that
aims to support mental wellness in the community by encouraging frank and open
discussion. The invitation came about through a chance (as they say!)
connection via Twitter with Carly at The Happy Café Ely. We were happy to
donate a copy of our book for the café library.
Have there been any “pinch me” moments, when you can hardly believe
what is happening?
All the time! The first time Fran and I got our hands on a proof
copy of our book was one for sure! Also seeing it on the shelf of the City
Library here in Newcastle. That was a proud moment! It’s fun seeing where our
book is being read, and where some of our readers come from. We encourage folk
to send in photos of themselves with their copies of the book, tagged
#HTLTselfie. One of the most recent was a brilliant pool-side shot sent in by
Gary Pollard from Men Tell Health (www.mentellhealth.org), who took his copy
on vacation to Rhodes!
To be honest, though, the best moments are not the showy, “outer”
things at all, but the personal messages from individuals who have read our
book, or found us through our online presence. Knowing that our words,
experiences, and approaches have resonated with another person, touched them,
or helped them on their journey, is beyond price.
Where can people learn more about you and Fran, or find your book?
The best place to start is our website and blog (www.gumonmyshoe.com). People can also
follow us on Facebook (www.facebook.com/gumonmyshoe) or Twitter (www.twitter.com/gumonmyshoebook). High Tide,
Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder is available
online from Amazon (myBook.to/HighTideLowTide) and Barnes and Noble, as well as
other online sellers and selected book shops. Check our website for full
details.
Thank you for having me!
