“Social media’s weird. It’s like we’re not even us when we’re on
it. It’s like we’re the thing that we wish
we were. Or even worse, we’re the thing that we think others want us to be” –
Iggy
I’ve thought a lot about this one…
I kind of think of myself as a promoter of social media and blogging. Both have
helped my mental health so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops in
the off-chance they can help others in the same way. But I can’t deny the
negative side of it and I think it’d be naiive of me to do so. As I’m NOT
Disordered has grown more successful and opportunities have been offered to me
because of that success, things have often become overwhelming. I think the
biggest struggle has – ironically - come with my recovery. I’ve had to battle two
different schools of thoughts: 1. No one will read the blog if I’m in recovery
and 2. I can’t talk about days when I struggle because people will lose hope. I’ve
finally learnt that as long as I’m being honest in my work and enjoying it, it
doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
“You better find the time before you run out of it” – Helen
I think that this quote resonates
with my motto recently ‘life’s too short.’ It’s my excuse to eat that extra chocolate
bar! Have a spending spree on ASOS, or a glass of Baileys! My Mum and I were
talking yesterday about this one time when I had a cyst on my ovary and the
Hospital overdosed me on Morphine and I stopped breathing. I told her I’d never
forget seeing this white light and having a sense of complete calm. When my
mental health was at its worst, I saw this experience as reassurance when I felt
suicidal. It was comforting to think I knew what happened when you died and I wasn’t
afraid of it. Now though, I see the experience as motivation to live life to
the fullest because it could be over in an instant.
“Don’t start what you can’t finish” – Lauren
Commitment is very important to me.
I think that it stems from having professionals come into my life, tell me they’re
going to help and then leaving. I understand that some things are out of a
person’s control like illness, promotions, retirement… but that doesn’t make the
feelings of abandonment any less.
“The first step is to ask for help” – Iggy
I have no regrets in life but if
there’s something I could do over…? It would be to ask for help sooner than I did.
I say that but, I didn’t exactly ‘ask for help’ – no, I cried for it! People
talk about self-harm and suicide as it being a ‘cry for help’ but they make it
into something negative – like, there’s nothing really wrong with that person,
their actions are just a cry for help – they didn’t mean it. But if someone is
prepared to hurt themselves or risk taking their own life to get help…
“They’re afraid of what others think” – Kapoor
I think it’s fair to say that
everyone has secrets. I might seem like an open book having my blog and writing
about very personal things but there’re stuff I don’t talk about publicly. For
many reasons but mostly because I’m afraid of what others might think. In New
Amsterdam there was an instance where a reporter uncovered that one of the
Doctors had been arrested before and even though it turned out to have been
that he’d done nothing wrong, he didn’t want people to know in case they
thought any less of him. I think that we all have an idea of what others think
of us – whether that be that there’s people in your life who blatantly don’t
like you, or people who love you conditionally – and so there’s bound to be
things in our lives that cause us panic that a relationship will change if the other
person knew.
“I don’t want everyone to see me so weak, you know?” – Max
Mental illness is often seen as a
weakness; as though if you become poorly you aren’t strong enough to deal with
life’s hurdles like everyone else. Almost as though having a mental health
illness means you’re broken in some way and people are suddenly under the
impression that they have to tip-toe around that person now.
“You have no right to judge me” – Henry
I’ve talked a few times about
judgement and that people shouldn’t pass it but – wrongly – I’ve only ever
spoken about it in terms of mental health. I guess, in my defense, it’s because
my blog is about mental health and I try to only talk about things I have
experience with. But honestly? I believe that no one has the right to judge
another person for any reason – whether that be their behaviour, their
attitude, their lifestyle… And I’ll be the first to admit that this is hard
when you’re living in a world where so many books are judged by their cover.
“It’s your experience that’s irreplaceable” – Max
The perfect people to talk about
mental health are those who have experience with such illnesses that allow them
the chance to help others to feel less alone.
“We all need help” – Amy’s Mum
This quote came from an episode
about a young girl who attempted to commit suicide because she felt a lot of
built up pressure and stress and came from a family and community that deemed
mental illness as weak and believed you shouldn’t share your problems with
others. I think it’s seen – by a lot of people – as an act of defeat to ‘admit’
you need help. It’s almost become something you should be ashamed of. Like,
when you’re determined that you know the route in the car but after going in a
circle five times, you finally ask someone for directions. Or when you’re convinced
that you can put up that piece of flat-pack furniture together and after
shedding blood, sweat, and tears; you finally ring for someone to come over! I’m
going to go out on a limb here and say that I actually think if anything, it’s
a sign of strength to ask for help. You’re acknowledging that you aren’t able
to do something alone and that’s a big admission.