EVERYTHING THAT WENT INTO CREATING A SERVICE USER APPROVED MENTAL HEALTH STRATEGY | IN COLLABORATION WITH THE NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE HOSPITALS NHS FOUNDATION TRUST

“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”

Andrew Carnegie

In 2021, the Care Quality Commission (CQC) conducted a mental health themed review in acute settings. From this review, CQC made three massive recommendations: that mental health care in acute settings should meet nationally recognised standards and that acute staff should have the training to feel confident in meeting mental health needs as well as being able to support their own wellbeing. Then, the third recommendation was that acute Trusts should have a Mental Health Strategy that has board level oversight and clear governance over administration and monitoring of the Mental Health Act. And so, NUTH set about creating a Trust-wide Mental Health Strategy, and almost immediately, they knew that including service users would be incredibly useful to the creation of the Strategy. I was honoured to be chosen to be in the ‘Expert Refence Group.’ This collaboration post will celebrate today’s official, internal launch of their Strategy by sharing my thoughts on all the steps NUTH staff have taken to ensure that it is service user approved. I do this, with the sincere hope that the Trust’s service user approved Mental Health Strategy will inspire others to adopt a similar approach in their Strategy creation processes as well as perhaps developing ideas to take even more action around mental health within their own organisation…

AN INSIDE LOOK AT CREATING A MENTAL HEALTH STRATEGY FOR AN NHS TRUST | IN COLLABORATION WITH NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE HOSPITALS NHS FOUNDATION TRUST | WORLD HEALTH DAY 2024

“The individual who says it is not possible should move out of the way of those doing it.”

Tricia Cunningham

Newcastle Hospitals (@newcastlehosps) • Instagram photos and videos

Newcastle Hospitals (@NewcastleHosps) / X (twitter.com)

Newcastle Hospitals (@NewcastleHosps) | Facebook

Newcastle Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust (newcastle-hospitals.nhs.uk)

Having been a blogger for over eleven years now, there have honestly been so many instances where I’ve found myself genuinely shocked and pleasantly surprised. These have varied from reaching reader milestones to being gifted items or complimentary experiences to being asked to give speeches at events. Also, in that list of shocking things has been landing collaborations with huge organisations such as Newcastle Upon Tyne Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust (NUTH)! Prior to the opportunity came up to help create and develop the Trust’s new Mental Health Strategy, it had honestly always – literally since Day One of my blogging career! – been a goal of mine to work with NUTH! I was surprised again when, after hearing about I’m NOT Disordered, the Trust asked me to also write some blog posts. So, as the Strategy is finalised this month – and because of it being World Health Day and the theme this year is ‘My Health, My Right’ – it was almost natural and automatic to write a blog post with some of the feedback NUTH’s Patient Experience team asked me and my fellow members of the Strategy’s Expert Reference Group to provide…

ALL MY CURRENT THOUGHTS & FEELINGS AFTER TWO MASSIVE FAILINGS BY THE CRISIS TEAM

A lot has gone on recently in my mental health journey, and as I came to recognise that I hadn’t posted any new content in over one week and started trying to think of what to blog about, I realised that it’s been a long time since I’ve talked about recent goings on! Like, I feel as though a lot of my most recent posts have largely been collaborations and reflective, regarding advice I’d give or things I’ve learnt rather than what’s actually currently happening in my life. And now that a number of pretty big things have happened this past week, I felt inspired and – to be honest – compelled to blog about them. I really want for this post to take I’m NOT Disordered back to its very roots in the fact that it was created to blog about my mental health and what was happening for me in the psychiatric hospital I was an inpatient in at the time, and I don’t want the very valid fact that blogging is (still) therapeutic for me, to get lost among adverts, awareness dates, freebies, events, and complimentary experiences…

BRAVERY & MENTAL HEALTH | FAVOURITE BRAVERY IMAGES | IN COLLABORATION WITH PINTEREST

So, if you’re lucky, you may not remember; but in July 2022, I broke my wrist in a number of places after falling down some stairs (you can read more about the accident here). And it’s been an incredibly long and rocky road since then with the original surgery on the Radius break failing, and then the second surgery to remove the hardware from it, and to add more to the Ulna break because it wasn’t healing. Now, well over one month since that second surgery, I’m still in so much pain on the Ulna break and an x-ray on the 16^th January has showed that despite the pins they’ve put in, the break still hasn’t repaired – apparently it’s called a ‘non-union’ – and so I’m facing the prospect of a third surgery. This time, my incredible surgeon plans to remove the metal in there, add some wires, and do a bone graft from my hip into the break (which I think just sounds painful never mind how it might actually feel!). Needless to say, I cried a lot, and it is that which has inspired this blog post, where I’ve chosen my five favourite images from Pinterest that – for me – inspire bravery…

RELATING TO QUOTES FROM MY FAVOURITES ON NETFLIX | IN COLLABORATION WITH NETFLIX UK

“Certain things leave you in your life and certain things stay with you. And that’s why we’re all interested in movies – those ones what make you feel; you still think about.”

Tim Burton

So, according to my blog post archive, it’s been quite a while since I’ve published a post from this kind of angle and in collaboration with the wonderful Netflix UK. I think people talk a lot about music and how song lyrics can be really relatable and therefore comforting in some ways, but there’s not a whole lot about movies or series’ affecting our mental health…

“If you’re going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, you’re not the girl I thought you were!”

Professor Stromwell

One of the most common comments I’ve heard when talking about the abuse and suicide has been something along the lines of; “but then he would win!” From Day One, that comment has never been helpful for my mental health and suicidal thoughts and feelings; but the more I’ve had it said to me, the more it’s starting to grate on me. It now feels like a bit of a token gesture – as though people are saying it out of habit; like they believe it’s something they should say. My conviction that all those who have made this comment do genuinely believe – or at least they hope – that it’s helpful, means I tend to not bite their heads off when they say it (even though I’m really tempted to!)!

FIFTEEN QUOTES & LYRICS TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND ABUSE | CELEBRATING THE FIFTEEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY ABUSE ENDING

So, I’ve thought long and hard about this blog post because it feels like such a momentous occasion; fifteen years since the abuse ended. It’s such a milestone, one that needs the blog post about it to be as equally special and important… So, I hope that what I say will improve your general understanding of abuse and its aftermath, and that in doing so, will provide a better chance of someone feeling really supported and that their experience is appreciated and validated…

“Why am I letting you comfort me?” He stared over her head. “Because I’ve made sure you have no one else to turn to”

Kresley Cole

For so long I thought that the abuse I went through had started on a particular date, but during the eventual process of reporting it to the Police, they told me that the days prior to that first abusive act, were the actual beginning. I was groomed. Manipulated so that when the abuse did start, I experienced contradictory thoughts and feelings.

My first real interaction with my abuser was after I had been attacked on my way to school one morning and I began having panic attacks and flashbacks. So, my abuser offered to be the designated person for me to go to when I was struggling. Since the Police have labelled this as grooming because they believe he was planning the abuse the whole time; I feel kind of stupid for not being even the slightest bit suspicious. But I guess that’s why he made that suggestion – because he thought that in doing so, either no one would guess what he would go on to do, or no one would believe me if I reported the abuse.

It wasn’t just about other people though. Having my abuser be a bit of a confidante for me at first meant that when he did start to hurt me, my first thought was that I deserved it. I mean, why else would he turn from being such a kind, thoughtful person to being my worst enemy? It had to be my fault because I couldn’t believe someone could be capable to make such a U-turn in their personality, behaviour, and attitude. It meant that in providing me with that support the first few times I voluntarily visited his office before the abuse started, I initially struggled to feel resentment or hatred towards him. It was almost as though he’d created his own little protective shield.

WINNIE THE POOH QUOTES THAT ARE DEFINITELY RELATED TO MENTAL HEALTH | CELEBRATING WINNIE THE POOH DAY 2022

So, I was looking up awareness dates and found Blue Monday and Winnie the Pooh Day… Now, as a mental health blogger you’d assume that in having to choose between the two (at fear of overwhelming you all with one post after another), that I’d have chosen Blue Monday. That’s the obvious one. But, if you’ve read, I’m NOT Disordered for a while now, you’ll know that I like to do things a bit differently – I actually really enjoy making seemingly un-related topics, relevant to my blog’s typical genre of mental health! And so, to celebrate Winnie the Pooh Day, here are a few quotes that have fit in really well (in my opinion!) with particular elements of mental health…

VALENTINES WITH MY BEST-FRIENDS | HAPPY VALENTINES DAY 2021

In the past, being a single Blogger on Valentines Day made creating content on your blog and social media slightly more difficult than if you had a partner who you could write about or share the day with. Now, though? There are so many versions of the day where people are starting to acknowledge the importance best-friends (or even friends and colleagues) can have on a person and why that makes it completely reasonable to show your love and gratitude to them on Valentine’s Day.

So, here I am taking this opportunity to show my love for my best-friends…

Lauren, because of her way of making everything into something aesthetically pleasing:

“Women are the largest untapped reservoir of talent in the world”

Hillary Clinton

 

For Georgie, for her difficult days at work:

“Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn”

Harriet Beecher-Stowe

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION FOURTEEN: CHRISTMAS MOVIES

Hello and welcome to recommendation number fourteen in Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today I’ll be recommending some Christmassy movies that you should be watching to brighten your day and get you in the festive spirit!

Watching movies was one of the many, simple things I missed out on when I was an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital for two and a half years. We were allowed TVs, DVD players, and Freeview boxes in our rooms but we couldn’t watch anything until the evening when we had finished our therapeutic groups (there was a timetable and everything!). And what we did watch was regulated by the staff who banned films like Girl Interrupted because they believed it to be triggering and inspirational (in a bad way, obviously).

However, one of my favourite memories from being in that hospital (there were some good times too!) was lying in bed with one of the girls I’d come to be closest to on Boxing Day, and watching the Disney film; Tangled! I think it was especially nice that it was Boxing Day because it made the movie even more of a distraction and a brilliant method of escape! Being in a psychiatric hospital at Christmastime is so sad because so many traditional things are missed out on – not just visiting Christmas Markets or going to a carol service, but also not being able to have things like tinsel (ligature risk) and fairy lights (breakable glass to self-harm with)!

RELATING TO QUOTES FROM THE HILLS | IN COLLABORATION WITH THE HILLS & MTV | AD

I can’t even put into words just how excited I was to discover that all six seasons of The Hills had been added to Amazon Prime Video UK! If you haven’t heard of The Hills; it’s basically a ‘fly-on-the-wall’ series that began in 2006 and which is centred around the lives of really wealthy, young people living in LA (for a proper description: http://www.mtv.co.uk/the-hills). 


I think I first started watching it because I’m definitely one of those people who enjoys gaining insight into the lives of others – not in a nosey, rude way. I wonder if it’s maybe to do with me being a mental health Blogger? Like, I put almost my entire life out there for so many people to read, and maybe I just like to get a little something back? Or maybe it’s because in the same way as I want readers to use I’m NOT Disordered to gain insight into mental health, I’m interested to gain insight into the lives of people who I maybe can’t relate to or who I don’t have much in common with. 


The Hills also puts a massive focus on fashion with the main character; Lauren Conrad securing an internship at the fashion magazine; Teen Vogue. Fashion is an area that I don’t often talk about on I’m NOT Disordered because it hasn’t been a big part of my life for a while now… I think I always loved fashion and used to design little outfits but then, in my Textiles GCSE class, my Teacher was very critical – and not in a constructive way. Her constant negativity around my work left me completely reluctant to continue with art and drawing and initially, I thought that was the only way I could be involved in fashion until I was eighteen and got a weekend job at a huge retail store. One of my duties was to arrange the displays and improve the shop’s appearance and it really sparked an interest in – what I later found out was called – visual merchandising.

MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK 2020 POST FOUR | TV & MOVIES AS KINDNESS

“Every time I go to a movie, it’s magic, no matter what the movie’s about”

Steven Spielberg

Similarly, to reading, watching movies or TV series can be a brilliant form of escapism! For a lot of people, it’s much easier to get lost in a storyline where it’s visual because you’re not really having to use your imagination and create images from what you’re reading. This can also mean that movies can be more engrossing and powerful than a book. They can really bring forward different moods and emotions depending on the type of movie; comedy, horror, romance… they each can have a different impact on your mental health. So, choosing to watch a comedy when you’re feeling sad and low, can be an act of self-kindness.


So, I thought I’d use this post to talk about my ten favourite movies that cover different aspects of kindness…

(May contain spoilers!)

Honey

“I found something that I truly love, that truly makes me happy. That’s a million times better than something that makes you rich.”

Chaz

This dance movie features a lot of acts of kindness towards others with the main character – Honey – organizing a fundraising project for a dance school. I think the storyline is made more wholesome because it’s set in a low-income area of America where gang violence is prominent, so the acts of kindness are even more prominent when considering the environment and background. It really illustrates that kindness shouldn’t face any barriers in so far as race, income, location etc.

MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK 2020 POST TWO | READING AS KINDNESS

“Once you have read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you.”

Louis L’Amour

Welcome to the second post in the Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) series of blog posts. Today, I want to talk about how reading can be an act of kindness towards yourself and in connection with that, I thought I’d share with you my favourite books which cover kindness…


I’ve always enjoyed reading – to the point where my teacher at First School wouldn’t give me reading books for a long time so that the other pupils could catch up to my level! When I was little, I really loved the Sheltie book series because I was absolutely obsessed with horses, so I saw reading as a way to indulge in my hobby and passion. Seeing reading as a brilliant and enjoyable way to learn about something I was interested in, really motivated me to continue to read when I was younger. 

TAKE NOTE: WHAT NOT TO SAY IN MENTAL HEALTH

Making sure that we're remembered, yeah
'Cause we all matter too
If the truth has been forbidden
Then we're breaking all the rules

So come on, come on
Come on, come on,
Let's get the TV and the radio
To play our tune again
It's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events
There's no need to be afraid
I will sing with you my friend

Emeli Sande:  Read All About It (pt III)

Here’s another blog post full of advice that stems from experience rather than academic qualifications… Having been under mental health services for almost eleven years, I think that rather than wear the anniversary as a badge of pride or see it as an achievement, I’d rather use it to help others avoid being under services for that long. Part of that means also attempting to help the service providers in ensuring that they don’t repeat some of the things they said – which I now see as mistakes – to me, to others.
If you read this post and at any point think ‘there’s no way anyone would say that!’ every single comment has been said to me by a professional of some sort; Police, Paramedics, Doctors, Nurses, mental health staff… Admittedly a lot of these comments were made over the entire eleven-year period and most services have drastically improved in that time, but that doesn’t take away from the fact these comments were wrong and that people should know not to make them.
So, here are some of the worst things that have been said to me around mental health:

MY FAVOURITE QUOTES & HOW I RELATE FROM 20 FILMS IN MY DISNEY PLUS WATCHLIST!! | IN COLLABORATION WITH DISNEY PLUS UK | AD

“Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, dreams are forever”

-          Walt Disney

So, there’s been two blog posts (the first is here and the second here) on the Coronavirus and the subsequent lockdown and I think two is understandable – I mean, I’d be silly to not blog about such a current issue that’s affecting so many people (including me and my family and friends) and in such an enormous way. I think, though, that it’s important to get a balance with the negatives and positives in life; and so many positives have come from the reality of our situation. One of these has been that the launch of Disney Plus on March 24^th came at the most appropriate of times! Just when everyone is desperate to find something to keep them busy through lockdown, Disney present us with a hugely helpful service!

For just £5.99 a month or £59.99 a year, you can have access to a ridiculous amount of Disney films and TV seasons! I literally didn’t know what to watch first – if you’re wondering, I finally opted for Frozen!

Anyway! As a belated celebration of the launch of Disney Plus – and to hopefully convince some of you to sign up for it too – I’ve chosen a favourite quote from the top 20 movies in my Disney Plus watchlist:

Beauty & The Beast

“Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong” – Mrs Potts

Ok, so I kind of cheated and used song lyrics for this one but I liked them! In June 2012, when I woke up from life support in Intensive Care after making a suicide attempt, I agreed to go to a specialist psychiatric hospital over 100 miles from home. I agreed because I knew that’s what everyone wanted me to do. I agreed because if I hadn’t; I’d have been sent there anyway and I didn’t want to lose control of the decision. I made the decision to be an inpatient with the conviction that I would and could never change. I honestly believed that I was stuck with mental health problems and would end up killing myself before I had the chance to feel better.

TWENTY OF MY FAVOURITE QUOTES

“What’s broken can be mended, what’s hurt can be healed. No matter how dark it gets, the sun’s guna rise again”

-          Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

“By the time I’m finished, they won’t even know your name”

-          Ke$ha – Pray

“I used to think, what if there was a button; that I could push and, all of the things that’ve complicated my life would just unhappen…?! I would push it and all of the people that shouldn’t have died would still be alive, I wouldn’t have hurt anyone or disappointed them, and no one would’ve hurt me, or lied to me and this whole mess would just be cleared up! But if I push that button; I would be gone too. I’m me because of what has happened, what I’ve done and because of who I love. I like that person. That me. Mess, and all!”

-          Aria Montgomery, Pretty Little Liars

“You’ve got the words to change a nation, but you’re biting your tongue, you’ve spent a life time stuck in silence, afraid you’ll say something wrong, if no one ever hears it how we gunna learn your song?”

-          Emeli Sande – Read All About It (pt 3)

“It never occurred to me that I’d have something to give. A way to contribute.”

-          Liv Moore, iZombie

BLOGMAS 2019 – POST TWENTY ONE : HANDMADE DORSET | ETSY COLLABORATION | AD

Thanks to a poll on my Twitter back in November, my wonderful followers decided that I should publish a blog post and film a vlog every day for the entirety of December! 

So welcome to December 21st…

 

Today is all about my collaboration with one very special brand on Etsy, in this post I’ll be reviewing the products they sent to me and on December 23rd you can enter a competition to win all of the products I’ve reviewed this month!


So, Handmade Dorset (based in Dorchester, England) kindly gifted me a few cards and a print with some inspirational, encouraging, and validating quotes and I thought that I’d write a bit about each quote… 




‘You are so loved’


I feel like I’ve talked a lot about love recently in my Blogmas posts because I really believe that it’s even more important at Christmastime. There are far too many people spending Christmas alone or with people but feeling lonely so knowing that you’re loved can be so crucial to supporting your mental health at this time of year.

MENTAL HEALTH IN FIVE ‘FANTASTIC BEASTS’ QUOTES

I remember first discovering HarryPotter when the first movie, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was released in the cinema and I wasn’t totally hooked. I don’t know what convinced me to pick up the book and become so attached to the characters and so obsessed with the storyline that I read all seven books and watched all eight movies. I think I most enjoyed the level of escapism it brought me, leaving this challenging and upsetting world for one that was so far removed from reality and yet so realistic, allowed for the opportunity to forget – even just for the length of one page – my own difficulties.

I didn’t bother with any of the spin-off books and didn’t watch Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them until Christmas 2018! I actually watched the Crimes of Grindelwald (the second in the Fantastic Beasts series) first with my friend and when I didn’t have the same dramatic reactions as she had it became apparent that I really needed to watch the first to understand the importance of the second a bit better! I then bought the Crimes of Grindelwald screenplay and that really helped my understanding so much so that I bought the movie and watched it numerous times. It was on one of these most recent times that I thought maybe I could share with you all some quotes from it that – even taken out of context - are relevant to mental health…

WHY YOU NEED TO WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE IN MENTAL HEALTH

1.    ‘Superficial’

When I recently self-harmed I told the Nurse that I’d scared myself with how bad it was because all of mine are usually – then she said ‘superficial.’ And I agreed but told her how much I hate that word and she explained that she uses it in terms of how deep a cut is and not that it’s ‘nothing’ important. I explained that it’s a person’s interpretation of the word and it probably comes from their experience of it being used. I, personally, have always used superficial alongside words like ‘shallow’ or ‘silly’ so it becomes an insult to use it to describe my desperate coping mechanism of self-harm but I now understand that she was using it as more of a medical term than a derogatory one. I think that my interpretation is evidence that firstly, it has previously been used as an offensive comment by professionals who were being dismissive of my self-harm and secondly, that it’s so easy to misinterpret this one word.

HIT OR MISS IN MENTAL HEALTH

So, because my last few mental health crises resulted in contact with the Police, and that contact was mostly negative; my Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) has been speaking with Inspector Baker (who I’ve previously worked with in training Northumbria Police’s new recruits). They thought it might be a good idea for me to meet with an Officer from my locality. Initially, the intention was because one officer detained me under the Mental Capacity Act (2005) and I voiced that whilst I’d heard of the Act, I wasn’t aware that it gave Police any power. You see, I’ve had the Act used on me a couple of times, but it’s always been by either Paramedics or staff in a medical Hospital. So, my CPN’s thinking was to have the Act explained to me and for us (my CPN, myself and the Officer) to discuss a ‘plan’ in case there was to ever be another instance where the Police became involved in a mental health crisis with me. 


Initially, I was actually a little bit horrified at the idea because there’d been a similar meeting in 2012 before I went into Cygnet and so I worried that the fact professionals felt another meeting appropriate, meant that I really was going backwards. Things really were going back to the beginning. My CPN reassured me that the meeting was purely for a ‘what if’ situation and not – as the previous meeting had been – a necessity because such situations were inevitable.

BLOGGING, JUDGEMENT & ASKING FOR HELP | RELATING TO NINE NEW AMSTERDAM QUOTES

 

“Social media’s weird. It’s like we’re not even us when we’re on it. It’s like we’re the thing                                  that we wish we were. Or even worse, we’re the thing that we think others want us to be” – Iggy

I’ve thought a lot about this one… I kind of think of myself as a promoter of social media and blogging. Both have helped my mental health so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops in the off-chance they can help others in the same way. But I can’t deny the negative side of it and I think it’d be naiive of me to do so. As I’m NOT Disordered has grown more successful and opportunities have been offered to me because of that success, things have often become overwhelming. I think the biggest struggle has – ironically - come with my recovery. I’ve had to battle two different schools of thoughts: 1. No one will read the blog if I’m in recovery and 2. I can’t talk about days when I struggle because people will lose hope. I’ve finally learnt that as long as I’m being honest in my work and enjoying it, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.