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On this day (February 18th) one year ago,
it was the beginning of my most recent detention under section 2 of the 1983
Mental Health Act, and so I obviously wanted to create some content to mark the
date. I had a huge brainstorm of what angle to take with the blog post, and I
was stuck between talking through the complaint I’d put in regarding many different
instances through the admission and the polar opposite of looking at all the
achievements I’ve made in this past year. Eventually, I decided to do both! But,
they’ll be in separate posts because I wanted to post the achievements piece on
the actual anniversary of being sectioned so as to really enhance the idea that
it’s actually an achievement in itself to have not been sectioned since then
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Coming
Through Surgery #3
In Summer 2022 – I still can’t get over the fact that
makes it almost two years ago! – I had a seizure and fell down a flight of stairs.
Unfortunately, the stairs were concrete and had a metal edging to each one, so
I broke my left Ulna and Radius (the two bones in your wrist). I had emergency
surgery within days to put the Radius back into alignment and screw a plate
into it. After about 8 weeks, I was still in so much pain and after being
accused of developing an addiction to my painkillers, I was finally given an appointment
with a different Orthopaedic Surgeon to the one who had operated and after an
X-ray I was told that the plate had been put too high up on my Radius and that
the Ulna hadn’t healed whatsoever! So, I had a second surgery to remove the
plate in the Radius (mostly because it was too high but also because the bone
had healed by then anyway) and to add some screws and a plate into the Ulna
instead. When that failed to encourage the break to heal, I had my third surgery
in March 2023 which saw my lovely surgeon; Mr Pratt, remove the metalware, repairs
the tendons and ligament damage that had come about from the surgeries and the fact
it had been so long with it being broken, and then he put anchors into two
different parts of the break.
Unfortunately, this third surgery still hasn’t
mended the break and having had an MRI on the wrist last October, I’m now
awaiting an appointment with Mr Pratt to get the official results (I’ve already
been told it’s still broken) and plan for surgery number four! The fact it’s
still broken has also meant I’ve been on painkillers since last March and so,
whilst I only take them when I need them, there really is a danger my body
could get addicted to them! It’s been hard though because my surgeon said that
due to the state of my wrist and how fragile it is, I can’t have physiotherapy because
he’s concerned, they’ll do something that will worsen it. So, I’ve had to learn
how to adjust to the fact that my wrist just doesn’t rotate properly – you need
the Ulna to turn your hand around onto its side and then palm-up etc – and so
there are some things e.g. holding a cereal bowl, washing my hair, and shaving
my legs that I’m physically incapable of doing and have had to find alternative
ways/positions in order to still accomplish those – and other – tasks! This
means that I’m actually looking forward to my fourth – and seriously hopefully
final! – surgery because I’m optimistic it’ll mean less pain (after obviously worsening
it for the immediate aftermath of the operation) and better and increased
movement.
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Getting
My Fluffy Soul-Mate – My Little Maine Coon/Rag Doll Mix Kitten; Ruby
In October 2022, my calico rescue cat; Emmy, was put
to sleep and upon asking the Vet for her advice on the best way to support Emmy’s
furry best-friend; my mini-Lionhead, lop-eared bunny Luna, she recommended getting
her a new friend. I decided on another bunny because I thought it’d be easier
to introduce her to one rather than to another cat and so, in January 2023,
Gracie was added to the family. They bonded with each other almost immediately and
instinctively, but after a few months, I found that they were both rarely in
the same room as me and were mostly either cuddled up together or washing each
other under my bed or under the dining table. So – out of sheer loneliness – I finally
made the decision to get a kitten!
With my mental health being so up and down –
especially after the sectioning – a lot of people were a bit sceptical of my
decision and I think a key worry was that I’d get another pet and would barely be
home to take care of it because it felt like I was forever in and out of
hospital. So, when I finally9988R chose Ruby from all the pet adverts I’d read
and paid the deposit for her, I was actually on caseload with the Crisis Team
and so I confided in them that I was feeling extra motivated to cooperate and
engage with them because I had this goal of being better in time for Ruby being
old enough to leave her Mum. They ended up mentioning it to my Mum though, but
she joined my excitement and was supportive in helping me get all the items
ready for Ruby coming home.
Now, I don’t want this to be seen as any sort of dig
to any of my other pets, but as soon as the seller passed her into my arms, I
felt such a hugely special connection to Ruby – different to any I’ve ever
experienced with other pets I’ve had and/or have. And I feel so validated in
this notion because absolutely everyone who has met Ruby and I have made the
comment “she’s so attached to you” or “she loves you so much!” I mean, she
follows me from room to room, she sits in the bathroom whilst I shower and then
meows at me when I get out until I stroke her, she runs to the door when I get
home from being out (no matter how long I’ve been out for), and she literally gets
into legit spooning positions throughout the night when she crawls under the
duvet, turns around and comes back out so that her body is under the duvet and
her head is out and rested on my outstretched arm or on the pillow like a
proper little human!
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Going
On Adventures
Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that I actually hadn’t
written any blog posts about the adventures I’ve had, but I did create some reels
of each trip on my Instagram…
The three largest, most important qualities to these
adventures have been…
1. They’ve
made me so grateful to be alive because it’s meant I’m actually able to make
such lovely, fun, and exciting memories that help to really counteract the
thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that life will never get better.
2. I’ve utilised
my Mindfulness Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) skills to put all my focus into
the activities on these trips, and that’s really helped solidify my memories
and ensure I had the most fun possible.
3. That
the trips have really helped build on relationships with the people I’ve gone
out with e.g. my Mum and two of my best-friends; Martin and Georgie and have
been great ways of bonding and making memories together.
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Blog
Collaborations with Newcastle Upon Tyne Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, Cats
Protection, Richmond Fellowship, Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation
Trust, Disney Plus UK, Phoenix Cove, Etsy UK, Amazon, ASOS, Christmas for CAMHS…
I was actually
really surprised when I created this list of all the collaboration partners I’m
NOT Disordered has had in the past year!
Something
about my blogging career that I really love and which I think is really influential
on the popularity and success of I’m NOT Disordered, is that I can remember its
beginning. I’ve talked – in other posts – about when I first created my blog
and when I reached my first milestone in so far as the reader count, but I don’t
know if I ever really talked about starting to feature collaborations… It came
off the back of two thoughts:
1.
When
I wrote posts mentioning TV Shows and Magazines, they attracted more readers, I
realised that this was because the piece was targeting my readers as well as the
followers of whatever I’m mentioning, linking, or including.
2.
The
benefits blogging was having on my mental health led me to being desperate to
want to use my blog to help others; so, aside from producing content full of tips
and advice, I recognised that I could use my blog’s popularity as publicity for
others.
Whilst
these two motivations for starting to take part in collaborations, were balanced
in being insightful in both a personal and professional sense, I didn’t envision
these partnerships would become all that they are now. I didn’t think they
would excel the size of my audience so much. I didn’t envision they would earn
me some incredible once-in-a-lifetime opportunities with these organisations
and at their events etc. I didn’t predict that I’d end up feeling like I
developed a bunch of little, external families with my contacts and the specific
people I work with in these collaborations. I didn’t imagine that in each
collaboration I would develop a whole bunch of new skills and abilities that
could prove so helpful to my blogging career in general.
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You’re
NOT Disordered: The Ultimate Wellbeing Guide for Bloggers
I think that this final achievement of my latest
book; You’re NOT Disordered: The Ultimate Wellbeing Guide for Bloggers, is
probably the one which most readers will have predicted I would include in this
blog post.
Before I was sectioned last year, the publication
date for the book had been set for April 20th, 2023, but I found
myself falling behind in terms of how much I should have completed by the date
of my admission. Then, when I was in the psychiatric hospital, and I had my
first meeting with the Psychiatrists on the ward, I realised that they weren’t
intending on discharging me any time soon and so I found myself making the
difficult decision to change the publication date. I had set the April date in
accordance with the anniversary of the abuse ending, so I wanted the new date
to be just as symbolic and special, and so I chose November 18th in
keeping with the anniversary of the abuse starting. I was actually really
relieved to see that I had so much time left, and it was almost like an instant
weight lifted off my shoulders that saw a huge reduction in my stress levels. I
felt so much less pressure to really force my mental health to be ok so that I
could work on the book.
Whilst I had that relief, I still ended up having a
panic nearer to the publication date because the cover failed to meet the
standards and requirements for Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) and it was
something I hadn’t even heard of through my communications and marketing jobs
either! So, I eventually got that sussed out and then the entire book had to be
approved, then I needed all the copies to arrive before the publication party
because I was gifting one to each party attendee. But, going through that
little stressful period actually ended up making everything feel like an even greater
achievement that I was so passionate about celebrating at the party (you can
see the Instagram reel for it here).
MASSIVE
PROJECT TITLE REVEAL!!! | I'm NOT Disordered (imnotdisordered.co.uk)
The
Reel: