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Trigger Warning: This
post will contain discussion of rape and sexual abuse, if these topics are
upsetting then please don’t read this post. If the topics become upsetting,
then please seek professional support and advice!
You've got the words to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a life-time stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a life-time stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
Emeli Sande – Read All About It
This piece was inspired by a little something one of my
inspirations; Victoria from the blog
and YouTube channel;
InTheFrow. You can read her piece about the importance of saying ‘no’ to things
like favors for people, event invitations, and other tasks and opportunities, here.
The piece left me thinking about just how powerful saying ‘no’ can be to
someone who has experienced the ultimate act of betrayal. The one act where ‘no’
is so essential that without it, the act becomes a crime…
In 2018 the Director of Public Prosecutions; Alison
Saunders, made the heinous comment
that unless you have clearly said ‘no’ to sex, it is not rape. You know when you’ve
had this thought in your head and literally everyone has told you that it isn’t
true and not to worry about it? Then someone confirms that thought and agrees
with it? And it completely throws you because now you question the reliability
of all the people who reassured you of the opposite?! One of the many reasons
why I didn’t report the six-month-long abuse and one instance of rape any
sooner was because I couldn’t remember ever saying ‘no’ or ever fighting back or
screaming for help. I worried – no, I obsessed over – this fact and that
if I were to tell someone, their response would be that I should’ve done one of
those things in order for it all to have been illegal. I think that the utter
shock that something that was rarely talked about at that time (2006)