*all photos from the Cats Protection Tyneside Adoption Centre Summer Fayre*

As soon as I got to the event, I got talking to Joanna Plumb from St John’s Ambulance and within minutes we were discussing I’m NOT Disordered! I was later asked where I found the confidence to talk to complete strangers about something as personal and controversial as mental health and it inspired this post…

I’ll never forget my very first public speaking engagement at a Time To Change StoryCamp and I called my Mum before it almost in tears saying that I didn’t think I could do it and that I felt sick to my stomach! As usual, she coaxed me into finding the bravery to do it and even though I pretty much read from a ‘note’ on my iPad and didn’t look up at the audience the entire time, I did it! My next public speaking opportunity – this time at a Northumbria Police event - adopted the attitude ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ but seemed to overcompensate and ended up looking like I either had too much energy or needed to pee really badly! And the third speech with SoMe in London, I spent the entire time with my hand on my hip and looked like a teapot in all the photos! So I learnt from all three and by the fourth – an interview with the Channel 4 Dispatches documentary series – I knew to make eye contact with some of the audience and to only make notes so that it wasn’t as though I were reading from a script, not to overly fake confidence, and to move around but without looking as though I was fidgeting.
Since then, I’ve done so much public speaking that I no longer even get nervous! But this hasn’t all come from sheer experience, I’ve also gained confidence from I’m NOT Disordered’s popularity! This might sound shallow, but I think it’s important to recognize how important it is – especially to mental health Bloggers – to know how huge your audience and so, how many people could be impacted by your writing. It has also bolstered me up when approaching organizations to propose collaborations (I’m so excited to announce which company I’ll be collaborating with for Christmas this year!) – I’ve found that if I just mention that I write a mental health blog, the email might not get much attention; but as soon as I add that I have over half a million readers? Well, that’s when companies show interest and are keen to work together!

Finding the confidence to be so honest about my mental health and experiences of rape and abuse has come from my passion to achieve eight things:
1. Encourage
others to share their own experiences so that the chances of them being helped
and supported is increased.
2. Minimize
mental health stigma by having more people talk openly and confidently against
it.
3. Promote
others to report their own trauma/abuse to the relevant people.
4. Teach
people the healthy and safe coping skills that I had to learn the hard way.
5. Shed
light on aspects of mental health that are still so taboo, such as self-harm
and suicide attempts.
6. Encourage
the positive use of social media and – in particular – blogging to benefit your
mental health.
7. Advise
others on how to support and help their friends and loved ones with their
mental health difficulties.
8. Teach
professionals – such as Accident and Emergency Doctors, Crisis Team staff, and
the Police – ways in which they can change and improve the support and help
they provide to those struggling with their mental health.
Now, I guess I can’t talk about confidence without touching on ‘body confidence’! I think that I’m begrudgingly talking about it because I feel like it’s a very overused topic in mental health but with Eating Disorders having the highest mortality rate out of any mental health conditions, I’d never argue against that fact. I just like to pride myself on I’m NOT Disordered containing original content and with very limited personal experience of an Eating Disorder (in the form of almost meeting all of the diagnostic criteria for Anorexia from ages 15 to 21) I’d hate to say something that didn’t ring true for those who have truly experienced this.

Now, I like to always be fair and I do want to highlight the fact that confidence – especially in mental health – can be negative too. If I’m hallucinating, I’m usually 100% confident that it’s real which makes me argumentative and uncooperative with the people/professionals who are trying to help me realize that they aren’t. Then, when I self-harm or attempt suicide, I am always confident that it’s the right thing to do which means that when people/professionals are telling me that it isn’t, it doesn’t make much difference because I’m convinced that they’re wrong and it’s actually the complete opposite.
So, let’s finish on a positive note! My top five tips to finding confidence…
1. Find
a passion
2. Have
a goal
3. Tell
yourself what you would tell someone else in your situation
4. Remind
yourself of your achievements and accomplishments – no matter how ‘small’ you
think they are
5. Do
something that makes you feel better