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So, me and one of my best friends; Georgie, went to the Lake
District for a little three-day holiday and when talking about the trip – both
before it and during it(!) – the comment ‘it’s deserved’ was often used…
I don’t want this post to be too
heavy and intense, but I think it’s important that I put things into
perspective in terms of the concept of someone being deserving and my journey
with that mindset because my first real memory of thinking about someone being
deserving of something, was very obviously and probably understandably, when I
was fifteen and the abuse began in 2006.
Deserving
pain…
From Day One of the abuse, I hated him. I hated him with an anger so hot and so powerful that I always worried I would end up punching him in the face – or worse! I believed he deserved pain – I mean, if he thought he had the right to hurt my body, why shouldn’t he feel that same pain?! Why should he be exempt from it? Why should he get away with hurting someone else and then suffer no consequences?!