WHEN THE NURSE TAKES HER APOLOGY BACK

It feels like it’s been a long time since I wrote a more personal post – I think that I’ve had a lot of collaborations recently; but I’m NOT Disordered started with me writing about my day-to-day life so I guess it’s something that attracts people…?


Last week, I had my weekly appointment with my Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) and she asked what my long-term goals are so I said that I’d like to be discharged from the Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) by the end of the year.  She asked what needed to happen between now and then for me to think that I was well enough for discharge and I told her ‘no self-harm.’ To which she replied, ‘I don’t think that’s realistic… your life will always revolve around self-harm now.’


I mean…?!!!!! What a comment!


In the appointment I told her that I wanted to end it early and started crying so I left.

The next day, she rang me to apologize. I’m one of those people who appreciates apologies a lot and I think that it takes a big person to not only recognize when their behaviour has been wrong but to also then say they’re sorry for doing it.

WHY APOLOGIZING IS SO ESSENTIAL IN MENTAL HEALTH

Like many things in mental health, there’s always a backstory to a person’s response to something. My appreciation of apologies is no exception…

“There’s nothing I can do but apologise.”

I was told by the Psychiatric Liaison Team that I’d be having a Mental Health Act assessment and when a Psychiatrist eventually showed up it was to tell me I could go home.

Being told you’re having a Mental Health Act assessment is – for me, at least – one of the worst things you can hear where your mental health is concerned. I think that if the Northumbria Police officers hadn’t been so supportive at that time, I would’ve completely ‘gone off on one’ and fought against this happening with all my being.