WHEN DO YOU NEED TO ‘GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER’?

The other day, at my Digital Marketing internship with Docere and SS Healthfoods, I was talking to one of the Marketing Executives about my long-term goals and all things Universities and careers. It made me think about how long it has taken for me to finally have those dreams/goals, and then I started to consider why I felt there should have been an age for me to have all these things decided. 


I don’t remember even thinking about a ‘dream job’ when I was younger until Middle School when a teacher told my Mum that she thought I’d end up being a Journalist (do you think ‘Blogger’ is close?) but I never really held onto that so much. When I came to the point of choosing my GCSE subjects, I didn’t really have a career in mind then either; I just chose the ones I was interested in – History, Media Studies, and Textiles. Then, when I was excluded from High School, I met a Lawyer specializing in Education and that became my goal – to be like her. I wanted to help children avoid experiencing everything that I had, when I was at School. 


So, at A Level, I took Law, Philosophy, and History, and with the abuse having ‘finished’ months before Sixth Form started, I threw myself into my schoolwork in a desperate bid to block out the memories of it. I also started working at my local Primark store in Newcastle city center but in the end, my mental health deteriorated to the point where there was no blocking anything out and I missed all of my final exams and quit my job because I attempted suicide. Even though I had an offer to study Law at Newcastle University, being sectioned under the Mental Health Act, I instantly didn’t want to work in anything to do with the law and after two weeks in a psychiatric hospital I decided to pursue my other interest; fashion and enrolled on a Summer course. Before I had a chance to attend the induction session, I was sectioned again. After my second longest admission in October 2009 to February 2010, I became interested in the notion of helping others and attempted to enroll on a childcare course but when my DBS came back with notes of my interactions with Police (occasions when I’d been sectioned or had ran away from Hospital), I was denied access to the course. In the end, I developed the belief that if I couldn’t look after myself then I shouldn’t attempt to look after anyone else.

WHY I’M A FAN OF JUMPING IN AT THE DEEP END | MY DIGITAL MARKETING INTERNSHIP WITH DOCERE | LAUNCHING THE BEHIND-THE-SCENES PROJECT | AD

Since my first day (over a week ago!) of my Digital Marketing internship with Docere, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a blog post about it because it’s become such a huge part of my life that I just obviously want to share it with you all. So, I’ve been trying to think of ways to… wangle it into I’m NOT Disordered, and the inspiration came when I talked about the internship with my Mum…


I first found the vacancy on the Indeed site and it was just one of those jobs where I applied… just for the hell of it to be honest! I thought I’d apply on the off chance that I’d get an interview and get some more experience in interviewing. I think that realistically, I didn’t believe I was in any way ready to work but it felt nice to feel like I was giving myself the opportunity. When I got an email from Docere and it began ‘we’d firstly like to apologize’ so I just sighed, but then I read on ‘for the delay in responding to your application…’ And I had a little cheer when I read that I’d been shortlisted for an interview! I’d applied for so many positions in one night that I had to look back through the job description on Indeed! When I discovered that it was one I was actually interested in so far as to that I wished I was ready to take it on.


Why did I decide to go for it?