I get it.
I get it, ok?
You think everyone will be better off without you.
You’re terrified your hallucinations will get worse.
You feel like self-harm is no longer satisfying enough.
You believe that you don’t deserve the help being offered.
You aren’t being offered any help or support.
You feel exhausted from smiling.
You don't want to wake up.
You feel so angry that you don’t know how to contain it.
You can’t stop the memories of what has happened to you from reappearing.
You feel like dying would be a welcome relief.
You think things will never get better.
You want to die.
“I’m proud of who I am, no more monsters, I can breathe again, you said that I was done, well you were wrong and now, the best is yet to come”
Ke$ha - Praying
I get it.
But guess what? All of this? All these thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs? They don’t last. I promise you; they don’t last.
Don’t believe me? Test it.
The next time you feel suicidal, tell yourself that if you don’t feel better in two hours then you’ll do it. When it’s two hours later, and if you don’t feel better; then you give yourself another two hours. Because really, if you’re going to do this, what’s another two hours?
Eventually, it’ll be gone. Whether it takes two hours, or twenty hours! It’ll go and you’ll still be alive and something will come along and make you glad you didn’t do anything. There are so many times when I’ve gotten stuck in the moment with all of these thoughts and feelings and I’ve cut, or overdosed and then I’ll be sat in A&E and something nice will happen and I’ll regret it all. And sometimes; that regret is almost worse than those original feelings.