TW | EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT BEING UNDER THE CARE OF THE CRISIS TEAM | PART TWO OF THREE

*This is Part Two of Three, you can read Part One here!*

TW | EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT BEING UNDER THE CARE OF THE CRISIS TEAM | PART ONE OF THREE

“Successful people recognize crisis as a time for change - from lesser to greater, smaller to bigger.”

Edwin Louis Cole

*This is Part One of Three*

As you may know from a previous blog post titled ‘TW | “SHE’S ACTUALLY JUMPED! GET AMBULANCE ON LIGHTS AND SIREN!” | WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE, DURING, & AFTER YOU JUMP, LESSONS LEARNT, & LOTS OF ADVICE’ (which you can read here), I’ve recently gone through a very big, unsafe relapse in my mental health recovery. On August 24^th, as a result of a delusional belief to jump from a bridge near my home, the Crisis Team told me they would be out within the next 24 hours to assess me. At their assessment – after I had jumped – they decided to prescribe Zopiclone (as one reason for my relapse was a lack of sleep) and put me on caseload stating that it would be for at least one week. As it happens, six days later, things are improving and on August 30^th, I was officially discharged. My week with them – and previous experiences under their care – have inspired and informed this blog post where I’d like to provide insight and advice around working with the Crisis Team…

TW | “SHE’S ACTUALLY JUMPED! GET AMBULANCE ON LIGHTS & SIREN!” | WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE, DURING, & AFTER YOU JUMP, LESSONS LEARNT, & LOTS OF ADVICE

“…Like, it’s physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don’t come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people’s words do... So, you just keep quiet.”

Ned Vizzini

In the early hours of August 24^th, 2025, I jumped from a small bridge near my home which crosses a disused railway track. In this blog post, I’d like to share everything that happened before it, during it, and after it. This post is not intended as ‘attention-seeking’ but instead, to raise awareness of a lot of different issues which crop up throughout it and I want to do that (raise awareness) to help others. To help those who have also jumped, to feel less alone. To help professionals see good, helpful, and supportive work. To help provide the loved ones of those who have jumped with some sort of insight. The content also is definitely not intended as any sort of negative or unsafe influence. Nor do I want it to upset or trigger anyone – hence the ‘Trigger Warning’ in the title; if it does, please visit the blog’s Help Directory and reach out for professional support where relevant/necessary. With all of that said, thank you all for providing me with the platform to hopefully do some good with my content and to experience the personal, therapeutic benefits I receive in writing like this; I might have created I’m NOT Disordered, but it wouldn’t be where it is today without all of you – and for that, I am eternally grateful…

MY JOURNEY FACILITATING TRAINING IN MENTAL HEALTH WITH ADVICE TO HELP YOU DO IT TOO!!! | LAUNCHING UNDERSTAND WITH IND

“The great aim of education is not knowledge, but action.”

Herbert Spencer

A number of years ago, I was asked to co-facilitate mental health training for the new recruits of my local Police force (Northumbria Police) in partnership with Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust (CNTW). It was my first experience of doing something like that, but it remains one of the most enjoyable, influential, and educational opportunities I’ve ever had in the entirety of my blogging career! So, since then, I’ve gone to take on a number of additional, similar commitments and with those experiences and a recent decision in mind, I have created Understand with IND and its five Training Programmes. To launch it and acknowledge its feature in the brand-new pages on I’m NOT Disordered, I’ve put together this piece which is full of accounts of my experiences in facilitating training around mental health as well as things I’ve learnt from them, and advice I would give to budding facilitators…

HOW I EARNED THE OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE A SPEECH AT THE EMTA CONFERENCE FOR THE ROYAL COLLEGE OF EMERGENCY MEDICINE, ALL THE ADVICE I’D GIVE, & A HUGE THANK YOU | #EMTA2025

"Action will delineate and define you."

Thomas Jefferson

When the Royal College of Emergency Medicine (RCEM) asked me to write another blog post after the event (I published one before the Conference; which you can read, here), I struggled to think what angle or theme I would use for it. So, I thought about why people come to I’m NOT Disordered anyway, and really, it’s typically about looking for advice and accounts of situations they’ve been in too – accounts which bring hope of recovery and tips on coping. But I also wanted to recognise that my life – and that of so many others – doesn’t revolve around trauma and mental illness. So, I created this post which contains a thank you, a couple of videos from the event, and is also full of advice and thoughts on the three actions I've taken which, I believe, led to me being invited to speak at this prestigious conference hosted by the Emergency Medicine Trainee Association (EMTA)….

WHEN & WHY IT STARTED, WITNESSING IT IN OTHERS, & HOW I CAME THROUGH IT | SELF-HARM AWARENESS DAY 2025

“Resilience isn't a single skill. It's a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures...”

Jean Chatzky

This year, for Self-Harm Awareness Day, I thought I’d create this slightly(!) jumbled-up post and it is honestly, mostly a mess because I actually just found out it was this Awareness Day at about half three in the afternoon on the day of it! So, this post is basically full of bits and pieces about my experiences of self-harm, things related to self-harm which I’ve learnt and witnessed throughout my mental health journey, and advice I would give to someone who is utilising it as a coping skill…

WHY I’M PRESENTING AT THE EMTA CONFERENCE FOR THE ROYAL COLLEGE OF EMERGENCY MEDICINE & EXCLUSIVE INSIGHT INTO MY PRESENTATION! | #EMTA2025

“Be spectacularly great at what you do. Wear your passion on your sleeve and hold your heart in the palm of your hand. And work hard. Really hard.”

Robin S. Sharma

EMTA (@EMTAcommittee) / X

RCEM Events (@RCEMevents) / X

A number of years ago, I was asked to attend and blog at an event at a local University, and ever since, I’ve kept in touch with the Doctor who invited me. Then, a few weeks ago, she got in touch with me and offered me one of the largest and most prestigious opportunity that I think I’ve ever been offered – an invitation to speak at the National Conference for the Royal College of Emergency Medicine! It was one of those situations where you try to play it cool and act like things like this happen all the time… But actually, all that coolness went out the window and I just said: “oh my goodness! Are you serious?!” After a few emails with the lovely Conference and Events Officer, and confirmation of my train tickets and accommodation, I asked if I could announce my presentation on, I’m NOT Disordered and across my social media and was told “yes, please!” So, I’m going to use this opportunity to talk through a lot of the reasons why I’m doing this, to publish some feedback and comments from various professionals, and to provide some exclusive insight into my PowerPoint...

TURNING 34!!! | EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I’D BE BY NOW

You shoot me down,

But I won’t fall,

I am titanium

David Guetta ft. Sia: Titanium

In a recent blog post for I’m NOT Disordered’s 12^th Birthday, I was going through my archives of old blog posts, and I happened across one from my 26^th Birthday (which you can read here) where I made a bit of a huge statement about where I’d like to be by the age of 33 and it’s something that I definitely haven’t achieved. It’s also something which I no longer even strive towards. So, it got me thinking about all the things I thought I’d be or have achieved by now and about how much life can change and develop and sometimes, rather than feel let-down and disappointed, we just have to grow and change too. We have to recognise that maybe it wasn’t meant to happen and that because something else has come along, it doesn’t at all mean that you’ve failed in some way. It’s about being accepting of change and recognising the potential opportunities and strength it can bring to you rather than zoning in and concentrating on any negatives and feelings of being unprepared or unwilling to take on something new and unexpected. I feel these are skills and mindsets which I’ve managed to gradually develop over the last decade, and I wanted to share with you how things around education and career have changed for me and how I’ve coped with these shifts in my life…

THE 12 BIGGEST MOMENTS IN MY BLOGGING CAREER & A WHOLE NEW LOOK | HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY, I’M NOT DISORDERED!!!

I’m going to start in a very stereotypical way right now; I cannot believe I’m writing a blog post for I’m NOT Disordered’s TWELTH Birthday! Like, where did the years go?! How did they whiz by so fast that I feel like I barely even noticed them? Yet, at the same time, I remember how very hard I’ve worked and how many amazing opportunities I’ve had/done. Whilst this twelfth Birthday has me feeling quite old, I’m also very grateful for it being a chance to reflect on my blogging career and pick out twelve amazing moments that I feel have really contributed to my blog’s success and my own skills, talents, and experience. You might also notice; the blog has a whole new look and a brand-new logo! This has been in the planning for a while now and a lot of thought has gone into it, so I really hope you all like it…

HOW STAYING PRODUCTIVE WITH THE SHAKE MY HAND CAMPAIGN IS SAVING MY LIFE | WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY 2024

You may remember that a number of months ago (June) I wrote a blog post launching my new media Campaign; Shake My Hand (you can read the post here: MY JOURNEY TO CREATE A MEDIA CAMPAIGN | CELEBRATING THE OFFICIAL LAUNCH OF SHAKE MY HAND’S WEBSITE | ad | I'm NOT Disordered (imnotdisordered.co.uk)) so in addition to writing the content for World Suicide Prevention Day 2024 (WSPD) over on the Shake My Hand website (www.shakemyhandcampaign.com), I thought ‘how could I not write something for my own blog?!’ I also recognised that my news article for the Campaign was of a completely different angle than I would write for I’m NOT Disordered, but at the same time, I still wanted to incorporate Shake My Hand in this post. So, I’ve decided to talk about how staying productive with the Campaign is saving my life…

AN INTERRUPTION TO BLOGMAS UNBOXED | TW: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE

I honestly can’t believe what I’m about to blog about… I mean, it happened over a week ago, but it still feels surreal. And I still find it extremely difficult to actually even just say the words because they continue to feel dramatic and unbelievable. I mean, a little while after I first became poorly – and right around the time I was given the Personality Disorder diagnosis! – I was labelled an attention-seeker and dramatic countless times by mental health professionals. And in all honesty, the sentence I’m about to say feels like I’m fulfilling all those remarks… In the early hours of Friday 8^th December 2023, I jumped from a bridge…

WHY FINDING AN OUTLET WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST ACTIONS TO GIVE ME HOPE | WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY 2023: CREATING HOPE THROUGH ACTION

WHY NHS TRUSTS NEED TO BE FOLLOWING IN NEWCASTLE’S FOOTSTEPS!! | IN COLLABORATION WITH THE NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE HOSPITALS NHS FOUNDATION TRUST

Our first collaboration: FROM INTENSIVE CARE TO COLLABORATIONS | IN COLLABORATION WITH NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE HOSPITALS NHS FOUNDATION TRUST TO MARK THEIR BRAND-NEW MENTAL HEALTH STRATEGY | I'm NOT Disordered (imnotdisordered.co.uk)

Our second collaboration: EVERYTHING I’M LEARNING FROM MY WORK WITH NEWCASTLE HOSPITALS ON THEIR MENTAL HEALTH STRATEGY | IN COLLABORATION WITH NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE HOSPITALS NHS FOUNDATION TRUST | I'm NOT Disordered (imnotdisordered.co.uk)

So, I’ve been working with the Newcastle Upon Tyne Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust (NUTH) for over a year (you can read all of our previous collaboration posts above) on their upcoming Mental Health Strategy and spending so long on this project, has really opened my eyes to so much that I thought I might confront, and so much that I hadn’t even imagined would come up from doing this! The main experience and huge benefit from this project, for me though, has been the recognition that in working together, so many thoughts and feelings I’d held against the Trust for saving my life when I made a suicide attempt were completely changed; and for so many different reasons…

Going through abuse can really leave you quite vulnerable in so many ways, but particularly when it comes to your thoughts, feelings, and opinions on hatred and resentment, and this can go on to affect so many instances and relationships in your future… So, for me – in the beginning – I held a lot of anger and hatred towards my abuser and was 100% confident of both the fact that he was worthy of it and that it was completely fine for me to feel this way. I didn’t foresee anything bad arising from it. If anything, to be honest, I thought it was a good thing – a healthy thing. I thought that anyone and everyone would be full of this amount of anger and spite if they had gone through what I had.

#HEREFORTHEKITTENS | PENULTIMATE POST | WEEK THREE: THE TWO LARGEST CHANGES RUBY’S THIRD WEEK HAS MADE TO MY MENTAL HEALTH | IN COLLABORATION WITH CATS PROTECTION & FEATURING AN ETSY DISCOUNT CODE | AD

This post and the next/last one is part of a series named Here For The Kittens and are all in collaboration with Cats Protection, the UK’s largest feline welfare charity…

You can find all the links for their social media here: Cats Protection’s LinkTr.ee

You can find the first post of this series here: http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2023/05/hereforthekittens-series-intro-managing.html

The second post is here:

http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2023/05/hereforthekittens-week-one-all-emotions.html

The third post is here:

http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2023/06/hereforthekittens-week-two-unseen-baby.html

After wanting to thank you all again for the attention, empathy, passion, and dedication you’ve all shown to this series and therefore to Cats Protection – we are all incredibly grateful for your support. After a chat with my Mum, I found the inspiration for this post in the series and so it will be focused on the improvements I’ve seen in my mental health since getting Ruby three weeks ago…

THE REGRETS & MOTIVATIONS IN REPORTING ABUSE | MARKING 16 YEARS SINCE THE ABUSE ‘ENDED’

“So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialised, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: ‘this did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault and responsibility of the adult. I was – and am – innocent.’”

Ellen Bass & Laura Davis

April 20^th is one of those anniversaries where it alternates each year with either feeling like what happened on this date in 2007 (the ‘end’ of the abuse) occurred just the other day or an entire lifetime ago! Ironically though, this post is something I’ve actually wanted to write for a long time, but I’ve always been really aware that if I even hover towards using the wrong words, it could be a disaster. Now that I’ve ‘relapsed’ in my mental health though, I feel more capable of taking this risk…

If you’ve been reading, I’m NOT Disordered for some time now, you’ll probably know; but because I have so many new readers every day I didn’t want to risk not starting at the beginning. So, in 2006 a person who was of massively high standing in the community and my life and who was seen as trustworthy and respectable began abusing me. He managed to start doing it under the radar because I was attacked on my way to school one day in the November and began having panic attacks. My abuser offered to provide 1:1 support where I could go and sit with him when I was struggling or upset and so when he first hurt me; and it became the other way around (him calling me into his office) no one even batted an eyelid.

FROM INTENSIVE CARE TO COLLABORATIONS | IN COLLABORATION WITH NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE HOSPITALS NHS FOUNDATION TRUST TO MARK THEIR BRAND-NEW MENTAL HEALTH STRATEGY

“To me, the model of success is not linear. Success is completing the full circle of yourself”

Gloria Steinem

All the way back in April last year, I received an email from Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne, and Wear NHS Foundation Trust’s (CNTW’s) Involvement Bank with a request for those on the Bank (service users, ex-service users, and carers) to help Newcastle Hospitals with the creation and development of their new Mental Health Strategy. Having had a number of experiences with one of the Trust’s sites (the Royal Victoria Infirmary aka the RVI) from a patient point of view; I applied to be part of the project…

The attraction for me to this opportunity was mostly centred around my previous, mental health related patient experiences with the Trust. Well, one experience in particular…

EVERYTHING ALL OF YOU MEAN TO ME | I’M NOT DISORDERED’S 10TH BIRTHDAY PARTY

For the third time in my blogging career, I hosted another party to celebrate a milestone I’m NOT Disordered and I have reached (the previous two were for reaching 100,000 readers and then reaching 1,000,000), and I have to admit, I think it was actually my favourite one of them all! With the previous two events being quite large and formal, I wanted to do something more informal and intimate. I mean, at the 100k party, I had 100 guests and a few were merely plus one’s for the people who I did know! And then not many people were able to come to my one million party because of the coronavirus pandemic and subsequent lockdown. So, keeping in mind that nothing ever goes perfectly, I decided to host this party at a local café (Dolly Dimples) for nine of the most important people in my life and it’s that which has inspired this post about how much all of the party attendees, and you (as my readers) mean to me…

INDICATORS OF RECOVERY | REVEALING THE BLOGMAS 2022 GRAPHIC!!

“Choose thoughts that give you the emotions of being alive and excited about life”

Bryant McGill

With the start (December 1^st) of Blogmas 2022 on I’m NOT Disordered getting closer and closer, I’m getting more and more excited, and so I thought I’d have a quick chat with you all about how this has proven to be a good indicator for just how stable my mental health recovery is, in the hope that this post can help you can find your own indicators. I also thought I’d take this opportunity to encourage some more Christmassy excitement, so there’ll also be a reveal of the Blogmas 2022 graphic created (using Canva) and which will feature on all my social media accounts and in all the upcoming festive content here on I’m NOT Disordered…

THE LARGEST ACTIONS THAT HAVE KEPT ME ALIVE | WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY 2022

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t”

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

This year, the theme for World Suicide Prevention Day is ‘Creating Hope Through Action’ so I thought I’d create this piece concentrating on the largest things I’ve done – the actions I’ve taken – to stay alive and to cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings in a healthy and safe way. I really hope that someone can read this and gain some sort of inspiration and ideas of actions they too can take to stay alive…

THE BEFORE, DURING, & AFTER OF HAVING YOUR LIFE SAVED | CELEBRATING THE BBC 1 DOCUMENTARY ‘AMBULANCE’ FILMING NORTH EAST AMBULANCE SERVICE

 

“When people are going through the worst day of their lives, you’re that person standing right in front of them…” 

Kyle, NEAS Paramedic Apprentice 

 

You can watch the first few episodes: https://bbc.in/3pjjHVO  

 

On August 11^th, BBC One aired the first episode for the new season of Ambulance and this time, they’re following my local Ambulance Service: North East Ambulance Service (NEAS)! Of course, I watched it and tweeted throughout (@aimes_wilson), and all the thoughts and feelings it stirred in me, have inspired this post…