“Learn
to enjoy and respect each other’s differences.”
Fred
Meijer
For the second day of Mental Health Awareness Week 2025, I’ve collaborated with mental health and drug and alcohol support charity; Waythrough. Prior to Richmond Fellowship and Humankind merging, I had been under the care of Richmond Fellowship for almost ten years and was honoured to be a huge part of the communications and marketing aspects to the merger and the creation of Waythrough. In this post, I’ve chatted with another service user and fellow member of the Life Experience Council as well as Waythrough’s Inclusion Manager about how Waythrough have tackled the theme of community…
My Care With Richmond Fellowship
(before the merger!)
In the
Summer of 2012, I made a suicide attempt and refused the lifesaving treatment for
what I had done. As a result, Doctors declared me to not having capacity and
so, under the 2005 Mental Capacity Act, I was sedated and put on life support
in order for them to administer the treatment against my will. When I woke up,
I was transferred to a specialist psychiatric hospital over 100 miles away and
sectioned under section 2 of the 1983 Mental Health Act and spent over two and
a half years as an inpatient.
After a
little over two years in that hospital, I was transferred to a rehab unit in
the grounds of my local psychiatric hospital. It was such a clever unit because
each service user actually had their own bungalow and then the staff had one
too, so it was fairly independent but there were still staff available 24/7 if
you needed support. It was pretty much the perfect combination for me and, in
all honesty, if there hadn’t been a ‘no pets’ rule, I wouldn’t have been in
such a hurry to leave! But being in a bungalow alone was difficult, and I think
– or at least hope – that struggle was fairly understandable because I had just
spent over two years literally, constantly surrounded by people!
Whilst
I was in the rehab unit, there were talked about my aftercare, and I was
assessed by an organisation called Richmond Fellowship (RF). Unfortunately,
despite being very ready for discharge, my mental health was still fairly
unwell and that, coupled with the time that has lapsed since it happened, have
meant I remember very little from that assessment. I really wish I could
remember what I was asked and what was discussed so that I could properly talk
about my journey with them, but I really can’t remember all that much about it.
I think it must have gone fairly well though because upon being discharged from
the rehab unit (after three months) I was assigned a Recovery Worker from RF
and now, almost eleven years later(!), I’m still on caseload and now have two
Recovery Workers (one who I see on a Monday and the other on Wednesdays).
I
absolutely love having two Workers because they are both so different from each
other that it means even though I know they’ll communicate everything that’s
said in my appointments, I feel that I can talk to one Worker about certain
things and then other things to the other Worker. That’s really useful because
it means that I’m getting a holistic approach to the help and support I receive
and that it isn’t just centred around one aspect of me, my life, and/or my
mental health.
How They Became Waythrough & My
Involvement In The Merger
On
October 1st, 2024, Richmond Fellowship and the alcohol and drug
support charity Humankind, merged to create one super charity named Waythrough.
The very beginning of the merger was extremely difficult and I’m genuinely
surprised that it’s come to be as good as it had considering that initial
experience.
So, for
a number of years, I had been a member of the Working Together Committee for
Richmond Fellowship. This Committee was a mixture of a handful (around two or
three of us who attended meetings most often) of service users and then a lot
of the most senior staff in the organisation (including the Chief Executive). In
our meetings every three months, we would go through a lengthy report with each
page being from a different department or member of staff. We looked at quality
and inclusion matters, finance reports, and – my absolute favourite – reports
from the Communications and Marketing team! So, we were in a meeting when the
Chair made the comment “and this is the penultimate meeting of the Committee as
we go into the merger.” I was like; “what merger?”
When
everything was explained to me and we established that I wasn’t the only
service user to have no idea what they were talking about(!), I began having
very terrible thoughts about Humankind. It was really because Richmond
Fellowship – who I’d been with for just under ten years at this point – had
always been so great with communicating with service users and so, I considered
what had changed. And the answer was Humankind becoming involved. An
additional, contributing factor to this poor impression of the charity, was the
fact that because I had literally no experience of drug and alcohol support, I
had literally never heard of them and so I had no alternative experience to
form other thoughts and opinions.
In that
penultimate meeting after the comment was made, I asked if there was scope for
me to still be involved in a similar position with the new organisation. I was
told that they would pass on my email address to the staff most in charge of
the merger and not too long later, I was contacted by someone from Humankind’s
Communications and Marketing department. A department who fast began providing
me with the most career-defining opportunities. I was asked to join various
groups who provided thoughts, feelings, experiences, advice, and opinions on
various elements of the different stages of comms and marketing that were
becoming relevant to the merger. So, some of the issues the groups I was in
tackled, were deciding on the key messages and values the new organisation were
going to stand by (you can actually see the final ones we agreed upon on their
website: About us - Waythrough). I was also involved in the
brand work, especially in deciding on images to use in their comms and
marketing efforts but particularly on their website, and their colour scheme
and general aesthetics.
The
largest, most obvious element to the new organisation that I was a part of
determining, was actually the name of it! The group I was in were given a few
names which had been whittled down from a much larger list by another group of
executives. In all honesty, Waythrough was genuinely the only one I liked! In
the meeting to discuss the handful of options, I was the first person to begin
speaking (that seems to happen a lot!) and after expressing my thoughts on each
of the names and concluding that I liked Waythrough, literally everyone who
spoke after me would make the comment “and I agree with Aimee on the bit
about…” So, I was really glad that speaking first hadn’t silenced people who
disagreed; everyone was on the same page. A few agreed with some of my points
but came to a different conclusion in terms of preferring another name but,
ultimately, Waythrough was the winner!
Why Are We Collaborating for MHAW?
The
Mental Health Foundation declared the theme for this year’s MHAW to be
‘community’ so I spent some time thinking about the communities which I feel I
am a part of…
Very
soon in joining in with the groups around the merger, I learnt of the Life
Experience Council; a group predominantly made up of service users (except for
the two lovely staff running it – one of whom has actually answered some
questions later in this post!) who are approached by staff and departments when
they want a service user’s thoughts and input on a project, campaign, or
decision. I was asked to join in the meeting and decide whether I would like to
become a full-time member and after just the one meeting I said “yes!”
The
Council is filled with some amazing service users and with it originating from
Humankind who specialised in help and support for those needing drug and
alcohol support, it’s meant that everyone has that experience. I actually have
no experience of needing such support – even including an absence of insight
into it through loved ones and really, anyone in my life (that doesn’t mean
they don’t have experience, just that I have no awareness of it at all!). My
lack of knowledge and understanding was something which I honestly thought
could become a problem because I worried, I’d be unable to really bond with
other Council members when they had such different journeys from my own. For
me, a huge quality of mine which I rely on in a lot of communication with
various people, is empathy. I always like to be able to empathise with someone
and I think a huge reason for this, is that it’s a skill which I greatly
benefit from when I’m interacting with others, and I typically have the thought
that I’m likely not alone in that feeling. It is, however, something which I
think has been done very carefully because it can very easily sound like one of
two things:
1.
You’re
starting a competition and trying to make your experiences sound worse better
(depending upon the topic, obviously).
2.
You’re
taking away the person’s ‘thunder’ and stealing their ‘limelight’ in a
conversation by averting the attention to yourself.
Ironically,
that concern of lacking empathy, knowledge, understanding, and insight, has
actually proven to be completely pointless to spend my time worrying about
because on numerous occasions in the monthly meetings, I’ve experienced
instances of feeling I have something in common with the other members. Admittedly,
this has never been about something which some would class as particularly important
or vital to the mental health journey of both me and the person I’m
identifying with, but it’s something! And that can count for a lot when
typically, there’s nothing in common… And actually, in my opinion, some of the
instances are regarding quite important things for my recovery! They just may
seem mundane or insignificant to others.
As some
examples… one of these common elements has been with one of the female Council
members who I’m actually now friends with on Facebook because we’ve really
bonded over it. And it’s been about her education journey. She’s just finished
an Access to Higher Education course and is about to enrol in University and
learning is something I’m very passionate about and something which I massively
enjoy and feel that my mental health benefits from. The two events in her
education (the course and University) are actually two things which have been
involved in my own with me having had conditional offers to study Law at a
local University when I was 18 and studying my A Level exams. Unfortunately, my
mental health deteriorated on a day when I had three exams back-to-back and so
I only passed (with a low grade) one subject out of the three I studied and
needed to have passed in order to be accepted onto the Law degree. That failure
meant that when I was older (around twenty, I think) I actually also enrolled
on the Access to Higher Education course this girl had just completed! The
course is an alternative to A Levels but a much faster version where you study
your three subjects for one year instead of the length of A Levels – which are
studied over a two-year period. Unfortunately, my mental health got in the way
of that one too and I only managed to study it for a few months before being
detained/sectioned and hospitalised under the 1983 Mental Health Act.
So,
whilst I guess some might see this as having oppositional experiences, the way
I’ve viewed them are by using them to bond with the girl in two ways:
1.
I
have recognised how challenging studying that Access course and being accepted
into University can be so I can offer a level of validation for how hard she’s having
to work and recognise the dedication and determination she has in order to be
successful at these things.
2.
As
a result of recognising the time and effort this stage of education can demand,
I find her to be a real inspiration and brilliant role model in illustrating
that no matter what you’re struggling with, you can still accomplish these
things.
Another
example of being able to identify with an experience of the Humankind service
users, has been that they’ve all talked about having mental health difficulties
in addition to needing drug and alcohol support. This – struggling with your
mental health alongside need drug and alcohol support – is something which had
obviously occurred to me as being possible because I recognise that often, one
can lead to the other. Some people turn to an addictive behaviour as a means of
coping with a mental illness and some people who need drug and alcohol support
can then become poorly with their mental health. One element of this which I
hadn’t previously recognised or even thought about, was the difficulty those
people have accessing help and support. Literally all of the Council members
have voiced the struggle with having a dual diagnosis of an addiction and a
mental illness and that they often find that if they go to a mental health
service, they’re met with the response that they can’t be offered help until
they have recovered from needing drug and alcohol support. Then they could go
to a drug and alcohol support service and be given the response that their
mental health needs to improve before they can receive drug and alcohol support.
With one often feeding the other, the Council members have voiced how
frustrating this can be and that they often feel misunderstood and dismissed.
These –
the misunderstood and dismissed feelings – are two emotions which I’ve
experienced on numerous occasions in my mental health journey too. If you’re a
long-time reader of I’m NOT Disordered, you’ll likely not be surprised by that
and may – if you’re invested and dedicated to my content/journey – even be able
to list instances I’ve blogged about as examples of my experiences of these
feelings! That’s because they have been so impactful upon my life and obviously
my mental health in particular, that I’ve found them almost essential to blog
about. This has mostly been about me finding it therapeutic to write about
everything and to feel a sense of relief in being able to have a rant about an
instance of that nature. Another reason I’ve felt is important to blog about
things like that, has been because I’ve felt confident that I’m not alone in
those experiences and I’ve hoped that by talking about them, I’ll provide a
sense of reassurance for others to see that they aren’t alone and that you can
cope with it and come through the other side.
Now, the final of the most common qualities I
share with the Humankind service users is a mutual sense of passion,
determination, and dedication to doing all that we can to help to improve
Waythrough and all the services it offers. We have a common goal to better the
organisation in the hope that it increases the chance that they’ll help more
people. This want and need to contribute to making improvement is obviously the
entire point of the Life Experience Council and so this really helps us to work
as a team. I think we get the balance very right by sharing our individual
experiences and why they’ve inspired and influenced our thoughts and opinions
on something, as well as jointly coming up with suggestions and solutions. This
balance in attitude and actions, bring to the light the final relation to the
community theme which the Life Experience Council has. And that is that it
really tackles/confronts the us vs them culture that is so rife in mental
health.
As I
said earlier, there are two members of staff who Chair the meetings and who
liaise with the staff and departments who want to attend meetings to give
presentations and ask our thoughts. These two staff (one of whom has answered
the questions later in this post) are the absolute perfect people to be doing
this role because they’re both very big on equality and inclusion (I mean, one
of them their job title is literally Inclusion Manager!)and they always make a
conscious effort to ensure that everyone who is in a meeting joins in and gets
time to say their bit. They’re also both excited and passionate about what they
do and about everything we do as a Council, and neither will take credit for
their amazing-ness very easily! They’re those genuinely humble and generous
people who prioritise others in all that they do and seem really very
passionate and dedicated to their work especially and also to the values of
Waythrough. They’re literally the epitome of kind, thoughtful, and
compassionate.
What Next?
So,
since I’ve chatted through my history with Waythrough/Richmond Fellowship and
the sense of community – with both the other service user members and the staff
– I experience from being a member of the Life Experience Council. Now, I put
together two questions which the Communications and Marketing staff helped pose
to the other members of the group and the staff involved in it. So first, I
have the answers from the other service user, then the answers from Waythrough’s
Inclusion Manager who is really a Deputy to Chairing the Council meetings, and
then I’ve answered the questions too! After that, there’s some links to
previous collaboration content (mostly from when it was Richmond Fellowship)
and then all the essential links for Waythrough’s social media etc.
Answers
from a Waythrough Service User & Member of the Life Experience Council:
Have you ever found group meetings
difficult, or struggled in any way as part of the group? If so, how did you
cope or manage that experience?
I
suffer with a dual diagnosis and often process things in a black and white way,
which means the comment, response, or someone over-sharing can feel like a huge
feeling of rejection which may not happen when meeting face to face as I can
experience body language etc. To combat this, I may turn off my video or have a
couple minutes break or speak to the meeting organiser to check things out
after the meeting.
On the
whole the meetings appear to be well managed with the Chair appropriately
bringing in people with their hand up but again, I can feel a little rejection!
I often lose my confidence or get my words in a mess! In person, this seems to
go unnoticed, however online the tone of voice and what you say, is more
important and if responses aren't validated, then it can be difficult
too.
Accessing
the right digital channel can also be difficult because I don't have access to
Teams, and it can be embarrassing to admit that – which also goes along with
digital literacy! We are all approaching it with different levels of experience
and it can be stressful and frustrating if you’re having difficulties! A
telephone number would be helpful for attendees for if they are having
difficulties. The right support also needs to be there for using more technical
aspects such as screen sharing etc.
I've
often said that I feel like I went to sleep 6 plus years ago and have woken up
in a different digital universe!
What’s been your favourite moment or
proudest achievement—either within the group or during your mental health
journey with Waythrough?
I've
two favourite experiences - the first was becoming part of the Life Experience
Council and for the first time feeling that my voice is being heard, and I've
been able to use my previous experiences to help steer discussions. As part of
this meeting, it was great to see the Group Executive’s there! If felt like we
were "in it together" there were no airs and graces; just frank and
open discussions with all comments acknowledged! It feels great and inclusive
and will make a real difference to how services are being created and then
delivered in the future!
The ice
on the cake for me though was presenting to the Board Of Directors on my
6-month sobriety date! For the first time I felt like I was coming alive and
that what I thought and said were well received (the feedback was good so I'm
claiming that one as a win!).
I just
wanted to say that without these online meeting I wouldn't have been able to be
involved in the strategic work of the organisation! It means so much to me! It
has provided me with a purpose and structure in my life that I haven't had for
many years. So, thank you for the opportunity!
Answers
from Waythrough’s Inclusion Manager:
Have you ever
struggled in a group meeting or found something about the group difficult? If
so, how have you coped?
I
suffer with a dual diagnosis and often process things in a black and white way,
which means the comment, response, or someone over-sharing can feel like a huge
feeling of rejection which may not happen when meeting face to face as I can
experience body language etc. To combat this, I may turn off my video or have a
couple minutes break or speak to the meeting organiser to check things out
after the meeting.
On
the whole the meetings appear to be well managed with the Chair appropriately
bringing in people with their hand up but again, I can feel a little rejection!
I often lose my confidence or get my words in a mess! In person, this seems to
go unnoticed, however online the tone of voice and what you say, is more
important and if responses aren't validated, then it can be difficult
too.
Accessing
the right digital channel can also be difficult because I don't have access to
Teams, and it can be embarrassing to admit that – which also goes along with
digital literacy! We are all approaching it with different levels of experience
and it can be stressful and frustrating if you’re having difficulties! A
telephone number would be helpful for attendees for if they are having
difficulties. The right support also needs to be there for using more technical
aspects such as screen sharing etc.
I've
often said that I feel like I went to sleep 6 plus years ago and have woken up
in a different digital universe!
What has been your
favourite moment or achievement through the group or in your mental health
journey with Waythrough?
I love
the joint meetings between Waythrough’s Life Experience Council and Group
Executive Management (GEM) colleagues. I thought that having minimal (or no)
agendas and keeping things as informal as possible would take some people out
of their comfort zone, but if anything, the opposite feels truer. It’s like a
social gathering, where some people happen to be in charge of a big charity,
and some happen to have experienced support from that charity. We always have a
laugh, but always make progress on things that have a seriously positive impact
for the communities Waythrough works in. It’s amazing what we can achieve
together when we all agree to leave our masks at the door!
My
Answers
Have you ever found group meetings
difficult, or struggled in any way as part of the group? If so, how did you
cope or manage that experience?
In
all honesty, no – I’ve never struggled or found anything difficult. There have
been a lot of instances where people have made the comment “I don’t want to
give you too much to do” when I’ve offered to take up a lot of offers and
opportunities. Or “I don’t want to stress you out!” when determining the need
for a lot of further meetings. And my reply is always something along the lines
of “I love this stuff!” Since creating my blog, I have learnt a lot about
managing my workload and coping with having numerous commitments at once. I’ve
had to do that because I’ve discovered that in the communications and marketing
industry, there seems to be a lot of instances of calm and quiet with very few
events, meetings, and collaborations etc. Then, there’s a huge influx of all
those things just literally coming at once! And after twelve years of that,
I’ve learnt how to cope with the irregularity and have come to genuinely thrive
from both of those instances – the calm and the manic! I love having the
downtime to spend time self-soothing and really taking care of myself and doing
more laidback things and then getting the time to be really busy and having
exciting experiences and taking on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and
collaborations. So, meetings are thrilling for me, I absolutely adore being
part of a community of people with likeminded passions and interests, but
completely different life experiences and journeys.
What has been your
favourite moment or achievement through the group or in your mental health
journey with Waythrough?
There’s
been so many incredible moments with Waythrough in the sense of both meetings
and events and more personal achievements but which I feel have been massively
influenced and inspired by the help and support I’ve received from Waythrough.
So, to pick one out is incredibly difficult, but I think I’ll choose when I was
asked to give a speech at one of the two events Waythrough hosted to celebrate
their launch/the merger on October 1st, 2024. I actually wrote a
blog post at the time about public speaking (which you can read here) and uploaded the video of my
speech to YouTube (you can watch it here). There’s also a reel on my
Instagram from the entire trip to Durham and some clips from the event (you can
watch that here). I’m so grateful that I
documented so much of it because it gives me the ability to really reflect on
that time and indulge in how fantastic it all was and what an amazing achievement,
I felt it was. I think that a big reason for deeming this to be so special and
important, was the recognition that it really was an honour to be trusted with
the opportunity and that felt like a real testament to my mental health
recovery and an acknowledgement of how strong I have become, how trustworthy I
am now, and the level of stability my safety holds. And I 100% recognise that I
very genuinely wouldn’t have reached this point without the consistent,
empathetic, and productive help and support I’ve received from
Waythrough/Richmond Fellowship for over ten years. And for that, I will be
forever grateful and forever willing to help to endorse and improve the
organisation in absolutely any way that I can.
Previous
Collaborations (Including with Richmond Fellowship):
24hrs with a Richmond Fellowship
Support Worker | I'm NOT Disordered
RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP WORKING
TOGETHER FORUM | #RFWORKINGTOGETHERFORUM | AD | I'm NOT Disordered
RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP WORKING
TOGETHER FORUM | EVENT POST | AD | I'm NOT Disordered
RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP ENRICH
AWARDS 2019 | PART ONE | I'm NOT Disordered
RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP ENRICH
AWARDS 2019 | PART TWO | I'm NOT Disordered
RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP ENRICH
AWARDS 2019 | PART THREE | I'm NOT Disordered
RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP ENRICH
AWARDS 2019 | PART FOUR | I'm NOT Disordered
RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP WORKING
TOGETHER FORUM NOVEMBER 2019 VLOGS | I'm NOT Disordered
WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY 2023 |
IN COLLABORATION WITH RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP | I'm NOT Disordered
MY SPEECH FOR THE WAYTHROUGH
LAUNCH IS LIVE!!! | I'm NOT Disordered
Waythrough’s
Links:
Website: www.waythrough.org.uk
Twitter: @waythrough_UK
Facebook: WaythroughUK
Instagram: waythrough_uk
YouTube: @waythrough_uk
LinkedIn: waythrough