AND THE YEAR 2023 IS COMING TO AN END… | PART TWO

“She remembered who she was, and the game changed.”

Lalah Deliah

*YOU CAN READ PART ONE HERE* 

Pimkie Suede Knee High Boot: £51.00

Embellished Jumper: £40.00

Too Faced Better Than Sex Waterproof Mascara: £13.00

e.l.f Liquid Glitter Eyeshadow: £6.00

Brave Soul Cardigan: £42.00

THE TWO NEW ADDITIONS TO THE FAMILY: GRACIE & RUBY

With my calico rescue cat, Emmy, being put to sleep in October 2022, we started off the year as a family of two with just Luna (my black and white mini-Lionhead lop eared bunny) and I. But when Emmy was put to sleep, I asked the Vet what the best thing would be for Luna and almost without seeming to take the time to think about it, she replied with “get her a friend.” As the weeks went by without Emmy though, I found myself enjoying building a better bond with Luna who had always just spent the majority of her time following Emmy around and had never really been affectionate with me. Without Emmy though, she was now following me around the home (my bunnies are free-roam) and was always stretching up on her back feet to nudge me for a stroke or a cuddle. Then she started taking the cat tunnel in her mouth and running with it in circles; myself and everyone else who either saw when they visited the house or watched my videos of her doing it, laughed and thought it was really cute. But actually; it turned out to have been a form of repetitive behaviour that illustrated boredom and loneliness.

“HOW DO YOU NEVER RUN OUT OF IDEAS?” | 19 INSPIRATIONS FOR ‘BLOGGER’S BLOCK’

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”

Roy T. Bennett

The number of occasions I’ve been asked this question – or had similar questions or comments made to me – has meant it’s no longer one that I find myself having to so much as pause in order to come up with some sort of answer! It’s similar to how I often toy between boredom and enjoyment when I find myself blogging about something I’ve talked about before. I think that being bored is for the obvious reason of writing about something where I feel I’m repeating myself and the pleasant thoughts and feelings come with the easiness and the fact it means I can put the content together more quickly than usual! So, when asked how I don’t run out of ideas for blog content, I’m partly tired with the notion that I’m repeating myself, but then I also feel good about it because I know that my answer is helping someone in some way. However, recently, I’ve found myself enjoying confronting ‘old’ subjects and instances on I’m NOT Disordered and in real life because it’s starting to become a good opportunity to re-consider my thoughts and feelings around these things and to discover what – if any – progress or development I’ve made since the last time I’ve thought/blogged/talked about it. And so, here are some of my latest thoughts in response to those who ask or who only wonder how I don’t run out of ideas for content after ten years of blogging – I hope that they can help other bloggers who might be suffering from ‘blogger’s block’ (a modern day turn of phrase on ‘writer’s block’) and feeling stuck for topics, influences, and inspiration…

WHY PUTTING YOU FIRST IS THE ESSENTIAL PRIORITY THAT CAN MAKE OR BREAK A MENTAL HEALTH BLOG | WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY 2022

With this year’s theme for World Mental Health Day being: ‘making mental health and wellbeing for all, a global priority;’ I thought about my own priorities. Initially I thought about how much they had changed from being at my most poorly to being in recovery, but then I realised that actually, they had changed – almost a dizzying number of times – at various stages throughout the entirety of my mental health journey. My blog, however, has always remained so high on that list of priorities that I thought I’d write a piece that purely focuses on the priorities which, I believe, are essential for when you’re blogging about mental health…

There are a number of factors which I believe have contributed to I’m NOT Disordered’s popularity and success, but the one I feel has been most key is that from Day One, I have focused on myself, and the impact blogging has on my life. I mean, for so long the main priority in relation to myself, was centred around self-harm and suicide; and I was utterly convinced that I didn’t deserve for anything ‘nice’ to happen to me. But then, after over six months in a psychiatric hospital, I finally began to see that I was worthy of doing whatever I could to maintain my safety and keep my mental health in a positive state. And when I had a really therapeutic 1:1 with my Key Nurse that left me believing that I was on the right path for recovery, I had the very appealing thought that I wanted to document it; and so, I’m NOT Disordered was created…

EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE YOU BLOG | IN COLLABORATION WITH MARTIN BAKER OF GUM ON MY SHOE

I saw another mental health blogger post about ten things you should know before starting therapy (you can read Cara Lisette’s post on her blog) and it inspired me to begin thinking about all the things I’d like to tell someone before they started to blog…

You should make the effort to remember how it started

I enjoyed writing when I was younger and would put together short stories about horses going on adventures; but when the abuse started, the writing stopped. I was so used to writing about the things that were in my mind and, for so many reasons, I couldn’t tell anyone what was happening to me. So, I worried that if I picked up a pen and a journal, I’d write out the entire secret and the whole world would know, and the already horrible situation would be magnified by the opinions of others.

Having quit writing for a few years, I didn’t immediately think of it as a coping skill when my mental health deteriorated in 2009, but it finally occurred to me when I was sectioned under the 1983 Mental Health Act and admitted to a psychiatric hospital for the first time. I remember looking around and seeing all these older inpatients muttering seemingly to themselves, crying, screaming, punching walls, slamming doors… and I realised that if I didn’t start talking about what had happened to me and got help for it, I would be in the exact same place years down the line.

Even though it was two years since the abuse ‘finished,’ I felt that I couldn’t find the words to do justice to all those horrible memories. I mean, what word would accurately describe all the damage he had caused? So, I borrowed a pen and some paper from the staff office and decided to just begin by writing down all my thoughts and feelings and then see where I ended up!

9 SPECIAL BLOGGING MOMENTS FOR 900,000 READERS

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.”

Anatole France

Going to start this post in the most predictable way by saying that I can’t believe I’m typing a piece about having 900,000 readers on my little mental health! In all fairness, it was only three months ago that I was blogging about reaching 850,000 readers, it’s so obviously surreal and surprising. So, to mark this occasion, I thought instead of talking about the special moments from my personal life and my recovery, I’d talk a bit about some of my most favourite moments in my blogging career from the beginning in 2013…

 

1.    My first blog post

http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2013/01/youve-got-safety-net-dont-snap.html

I always love looking back at this first blog post on I’m NOT Disordered because I still find it so surreal to remember how little my expectations were for my blog. I mean, my initial target audience were my friends and family on my private Facebook account so I couldn’t have ever imagined I would one day be blogging about reaching 900,000 readers!

Honestly, in writing that first post, I couldn’t imagine even just maintaining I’m NOT Disordered and remaining so passionate and dedicated to it over eight years later. I started blogging as an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital so I think it was fairly obvious – at least to me – that it probably wouldn’t continue for very long because chances would be that either a suicide attempt would be ‘successful’, or I would get better and be discharged from hospital.

Not appreciating the potential of I’m NOT Disordered really meant that my first blog post wasn’t all that amazing; it didn’t reflect the importance it has ended up having. It wasn’t particularly special; it wasn’t an announcement or an opportunity or event… it was just me talking about my situation in an honest way. And do you know what, maybe that is a true reflection of all the blog has become eight years later.

Either way, after all that I’ve gone through, I’m someone who doesn’t wince at the thought of looking back at the beginning of something. It’s taken a number of years to develop this mindset because there have been several times that I’ve come close to deleting that first blog post. Then I realised, to do so would be like pretending it hadn’t happened. Pretending I’m NOT Disordered hadn’t begun in the small, naïve way that it did. And beginning in that way, is something I’ve become so proud of and so appreciative of. Something which I’d like to think will give other Bloggers or prospective Bloggers hope to see that a blog can go from that small beginning to this…