FIVE THINGS THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC HAS TAUGHT ME BY MARTY BAKER | GUEST POST

I’d like to thank Aimee for inviting me to contribute to this article for I’m NOT Disordered and for the opportunity to share things I’m learning in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.

1. I Live a Very Privileged Life

Coronavirus has brought home to me what I already knew, which is that I live a life that is privileged in many ways. I’m fortunate to be in employment, my job is secure, and I’m able to work from home during this crisis. I’ve had to cancel my holiday and I miss meeting friends but I’m fine for groceries and can cover any extra costs and expenses that might come up. Most importantly, I’m able to keep in touch with the most important people in my life. As I said recently in an audio blog, “There are many people in far worse situations than I am. I count myself as very fortunate.” 

2. How Interconnected the World Is

I think we’re all learning how interconnected the modern world is. There’s a downside to that, in that it’s meant the virus has spread rapidly within communities and around the world. But there are positives too. I’ve been moved by people’s responses to what’s happening, many of which are using the Internet in creative new ways. Local support networks, Amazon wish list exchanges, online concerts and exercise classes, counselling and therapy appointments using Skype and Zoom, and social media peer support are just some of the examples I’ve come across. 

MY FAVOURITE QUOTES & HOW I RELATE FROM 20 FILMS IN MY DISNEY PLUS WATCHLIST!! | IN COLLABORATION WITH DISNEY PLUS UK | AD

“Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, dreams are forever”

-          Walt Disney

So, there’s been two blog posts (the first is here and the second here) on the Coronavirus and the subsequent lockdown and I think two is understandable – I mean, I’d be silly to not blog about such a current issue that’s affecting so many people (including me and my family and friends) and in such an enormous way. I think, though, that it’s important to get a balance with the negatives and positives in life; and so many positives have come from the reality of our situation. One of these has been that the launch of Disney Plus on March 24^th came at the most appropriate of times! Just when everyone is desperate to find something to keep them busy through lockdown, Disney present us with a hugely helpful service!

For just £5.99 a month or £59.99 a year, you can have access to a ridiculous amount of Disney films and TV seasons! I literally didn’t know what to watch first – if you’re wondering, I finally opted for Frozen!

Anyway! As a belated celebration of the launch of Disney Plus – and to hopefully convince some of you to sign up for it too – I’ve chosen a favourite quote from the top 20 movies in my Disney Plus watchlist:

Beauty & The Beast

“Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong” – Mrs Potts

Ok, so I kind of cheated and used song lyrics for this one but I liked them! In June 2012, when I woke up from life support in Intensive Care after making a suicide attempt, I agreed to go to a specialist psychiatric hospital over 100 miles from home. I agreed because I knew that’s what everyone wanted me to do. I agreed because if I hadn’t; I’d have been sent there anyway and I didn’t want to lose control of the decision. I made the decision to be an inpatient with the conviction that I would and could never change. I honestly believed that I was stuck with mental health problems and would end up killing myself before I had the chance to feel better.

WHY MENTAL HEALTH IS TAKING A BEATING WITH THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC | IN PARTNERSHIP WITH CUMBRIA, NORTHUMBERLAND, TYNE & WEAR NHS FOUNDATION TRUST

This post is in partnership with the wonderful mental health NHS Trust for my area; CNTW (Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust) so at the end I’ll be including all of their links and one of their most important articles produced during this Pandemic.

I’d like to think I’m a pretty fair and balanced kind of person in that I can usually see a disagreement from both sides, so when I write blog posts and posts on social media I try to imagine the other side to it… You know, in my last post: ‘WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC,’ I talked a little about how people are feeling that they can’t talk about how the pandemic is affecting them because they’re sure that there’s someone ‘worse off.’ And I absolutely get it; I mean, there’s tweets about Grandmas dying alone because visiting in hospitals is suspended and people having their lives genuinely turned upside down to coincide with the UK lockdown regulations (which you can read here).

I think that the one common impact that the Coronavirus Pandemic is having on at least the majority of people, is on our mental health. People often make the mistake of thinking that to be struggling with your mental health, you must have some sort of diagnosis, but this isn’t true. Everyone has mental health in the same way that everyone has physical health, and you can struggle with your thoughts and feelings without it being you must have an official ‘label’ or disorder. Someone can feel sad without having a formal diagnosis of Depression. You can feel anxious without it needing to result in a panic attack for it to be worth talking about. And you can struggle with your mental health without needing to feel suicidal for it to be deserving of asking for help and support.

WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

It was only a matter of time before I would blog about the Pandemic, wasn’t it? I mean, if you aren’t talking about the Coronavirus are you even on the planet? The subject has been trending on social media for a while now and every time I flick through Twitter or Facebook there’s another service/organization being closed or putting special measures in place. Still, it seems that no one can make a decision that absolutely everyone is ‘happy’ with; whether that means the government handing out recommendations on ‘social-distancing,’ McDonalds ‘taking too long’ to close their doors, or your best-friend not following guidelines and taking precautions!

Having a bit of a moan about how the Coronavirus Pandemic is affecting me is difficult because I’m fully aware that the impact is probably quite insignificant compared to the devastating consequences it has had on others; but if we aren’t able to talk about our own experiences for fear of them being compared to those of another, then how can we move forward and support one another? So, please don’t be afraid to talk on social media about how the Pandemic is affecting you – your experiences are as important as anyone else’s. Sharing what you’re going through might just help someone else who can relate to your story to feel less alone and forgotten.

It’d be unfair though, to not shed light on the fact that there’s also a lot of good going on in the world with so many companies offering freebies and discounts to NHS staff and supermarkets opening early for the elderly. It seems though, that people are either jumping down one another’s throat and accusing them of being careless, or they’re making purchases from a stranger’s Amazon Wishlist’s (you can see my Self-Care Wishlist here) and promoting that others do the same!

THE POWER OF ‘NO’ AFTER RAPE

Trigger Warning: This post will contain discussion of rape and sexual abuse, if these topics are upsetting then please don’t read this post. If the topics become upsetting, then please seek professional support and advice!

You've got the words to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a life-time stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong

Emeli Sande – Read All About It

This piece was inspired by a little something one of my inspirations; Victoria from the blog and YouTube channel; InTheFrow. You can read her piece about the importance of saying ‘no’ to things like favors for people, event invitations, and other tasks and opportunities, here. The piece left me thinking about just how powerful saying ‘no’ can be to someone who has experienced the ultimate act of betrayal. The one act where ‘no’ is so essential that without it, the act becomes a crime…

In 2018 the Director of Public Prosecutions; Alison Saunders, made the heinous comment that unless you have clearly said ‘no’ to sex, it is not rape. You know when you’ve had this thought in your head and literally everyone has told you that it isn’t true and not to worry about it? Then someone confirms that thought and agrees with it? And it completely throws you because now you question the reliability of all the people who reassured you of the opposite?! One of the many reasons why I didn’t report the six-month-long abuse and one instance of rape any sooner was because I couldn’t remember ever saying ‘no’ or ever fighting back or screaming for help. I worried – no, I obsessed over – this fact and that if I were to tell someone, their response would be that I should’ve done one of those things in order for it all to have been illegal. I think that the utter shock that something that was rarely talked about at that time (2006)