subconscious
sʌbˈkɒn(t)ʃəs
adjective
adjective: subconscious; adjective: sub-conscious
1.
of or concerning the part of the mind of which one
is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings.
The
amount of times recently that I’ve heard “yes, but do you think that maybe
subconsciously…” is ridiculous! When I’m feeling angry and upset, and probably
a little poorly – I think ‘how would I know if it’s subconscious?!’ And then
when I’m in my ‘right mind’ and feeling sensible and proactive; I think ‘well
probably… I mean, that makes a lot of sense.’
When
I began hearing voices and then visually hallucinating, I questioned
everything. Everything I could see. Everything I heard. So when people began
talking about me having a subconscious and that there might be all sorts of
thoughts and feelings, emotions and knowledge, trapped there – just out of my
reach… I think I genuinely had to resist imploding!
The
worst one has been when I’ve had people say “do you think that subconsciously
you’ve been taking on too much? Too much stress?” And all I can think is ‘well
how would I know if it’s subconscious?!’
And
that’s the point of my post, how can we truly measure our levels of stress –
our levels of pain – levels of anguish – levels of hurt- when we don’t can’t
actually really know?
I
mean, is it possible to actually get a handle on your subconscious? Or is that
the whole point of it being ‘subconscious’? I mean, when people
point something out about it (like, “do you think subconsciously you were
really stressed?”) you can suddenly acknowledge it! How come?! Why can’t we do
it ourselves? Can we learn to do it ourselves?
I
guess that the best (advice) I’ve got is to use previous experience to make
judgements around your levels of stress, pain, anguish, and hurt, to manage
your mental health.
Ok!
For example: more than three things on my to-do list might be too much stress.
More
than two upsetting things in my life is, most likely, too much pain and
anguish.
And
at least one spiteful person in my life is too much hurt.
So,
knowing all of that; I can avoid those situations from escalating – from me
adding a fourth thing to my ‘to-do’ list, from not asking for help before a
third thing causes me pain and anguish, and by maintaining all of the
relationships (that are under my control) before a second person hurts me.