“If
there was someone else in this position, what would you say to them?”
This
is something I’ve been asked so often by all manner of different professionals (mainly
the Police though) in my recent mental health relapse. And so, this has been my
motivation in writing this blog post.
Because
usually my answer would be “I’d advise them to contact the Crisis Team” or “I’d
tell them it’s important to take your medication unless otherwise instructed by
a Doctor” and even “I’d say that they should co-operate with staff.”
And
yet, in all the situations where this advice has been relevant; I have done the
exact opposite. I’ve been reluctant to call the Crisis Team. I’ve stopped my
medication without medical approval. And I’ve been uncooperative with staff.
I think that I couldn’t imagine giving anyone this advice because a part of me also believed that I was the only person feeling this way and experiencing these things. Perhaps it was more about the fact that I just wanted to believe that no one else felt this way because I wouldn’t wish these thoughts, feelings, and experiences on anyone.
Another
reason I don’t take my own advice is because I’ve ever been one to blow my own
trumpet and I think that admitting that I might give good advice to someone would
be doing so. It’d be acknowledging that I was useful. That I was important. And
whilst those emotions might sound like they should be positive; really, all they
do is make me feel a bit hopeless because they lead me to question why I can’t
do these things for myself. So inevitably, when professionals’ highlight this in
asking me what I’d say to someone in my position; all it does is make me feel
worse. I feel like maybe I’m not worth that advice and that’s why I don’t
listen to it myself.
When
I’ve talked through this (being asked why I don’t take my own advice) with
members of the Crisis Team and my Community Psychiatric Nurse they’ve always
told me that it’s quite a common thing. A lot of people don’t take their own
advice. It’s just about how extreme that is – if it’s advice on whether to buy
those bargain shoes in Primark then that’s normal. If it’s about advising someone
to go to A&E because they’ve self-harmed, then that’s another story.
But
this is why I wanted to write this blog post; to illustrate that it’s common,
you aren’t alone in feeling like this and that perhaps if this factor in your
life is to the extreme, then you know that you should seek professional help.
Sometimes just talking about things like this can help you to change your behavior
because the important thing is that you’ve recognized that this is something
you do.