EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ABUSE | PART ONE OF THREE

Having thoroughly enjoyed writing the ‘everything-you-need-to-know’ style posts in the past, when I checked through previous posts about abuse, I noticed they all seem to be in pieces… Bits of information, parts of my experience, a few tips; all just separated into so many different posts. Of course, they are that way because up to the date they were published, they were the things I knew. The things that had happened. And I’m not suggesting that I’m at a point where I now know absolutely everything about the subject, but I do feel that I’m at a pretty good stage in my mental health recovery to feel I am now able to collate all that I have learnt, and all that I know. Unfortunately, abuse is a subject where I’d argue you will never fully understand unless it’s something you’ve experienced, so posts like this – media content by survivors – can be the best resource for those who want to learn more…

 

Why You Can Experience the Grieving Process:

I began writing each of the feelings I experienced during and after the abuse I experienced when I was fifteen, and things began to seem familiar in some way. I realised that I was describing four of the five stages of grief determined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. I actually thought immediately why that process would be linked with abuse, because it’s about – and can be applied to – any type of loss, not necessarily a death. And I definitely lost a lot going through the abuse…

Even aged fifteen, I was very naïve and having had very little sexual education, I had no real knowledge about what was happening to me. I think it’d be fair to say that I didn’t even realise people like my abuser existed. Rape and sexual abuse (the type I experienced) were so taboo back then (2006) too, so I had never heard of someone else experiencing anything even remotely similar to what I was going through. All those factors meant that one thing I lost in the abuse was that naivety. I do sometimes consider that might have been a good thing because perhaps at that age, I should have probably been more aware of the existence of abuse. There’s something to be said about balance though, recognizing that children and young people, deserve some sort of naivety so that they’re able to fully enjoy their childhood and the simple notion of being young.

THREE WAYS TO COPE WHEN THINGS GET UNBELIEVABLE | CELEBRATING 100,000 READERS IN FIVE MONTHS!!

It took me over two years to get my first 100,000 readers and now I’m organizing my VERY EXCITING Christmas collaboration with a well-known company, and it’s meant looking at my numbers and I realized that it’s taken just five months (less than a quarter of the time) to achieve the same amount! I mean… where do I even start?! Thank you, first of all! Not just to the 100,000 new readers but to everyone who has been reading my blog before now – especially those who have been here since the very beginning in 2013! You guys rock! And a huge thank you to some of the very special, and inspirational companies, organizations, and charities who have trusted me with their reputation and collaborated or partnered with me to produce content for I’m NOT Disordered! You all help to keep me motivated to producing better content and help keep something that I’ve now been doing for six years, very exciting! 


I find it very easy to feel overwhelmed with things to do with I’m NOT Disordered because for me, I’ll always think of it as this little thing that I started in my hospital room in a bid to find an outlet for pent-up thoughts and feelings. When blog posts excel, I always think about how they were – mostly - written from the comfort of my little one-bedroom bungalow! When something you do has started off so small it’s a big challenge to still recognize that same thing when it has grown wings and evolved into something hugely different. Does it still mean to you what it meant when you started it? Does it still hold the same importance? 


I think that asking these questions – having to accept that I might not like the honest answer to some of them, is part of the reason why I struggle when I get overwhelmed by any emotions – even positive ones! So, I thought it important to consider the ways I cope in these situations in case there are others also struggling with this…