HOW AUTHENTICITY HELPED ME TO GAIN INFLUENCE | FEATURING PHOTOS & VIDEOS OF THE VISIT | IN COLLABORATION WITH NORTHUMBERLAND ZOO

https://www.northumberlandzoo.co.uk/

https://www.facebook.com/NorthumberlandZoo/

https://www.instagram.com/northumberlandzoo

“The best times we’ve had on Earth, are usually with those we love.”

Van Harden

Something my Mum has massively instilled in me with my career as an Influencer for a long time now, has been ‘shy bairns get nowt.’ So, when I was told my Niece; Erynn, who lives in Scotland, was visiting my Mum and Step-Dad for four days and they invited me to go to Northumberland Zoo, I thought about what I might be able to do to make the trip a little bit more special. So, I called the Zoo and ended up speaking to the lovely Maxine who, in exchange for featuring on I’m NOT Disordered and my social media, offered us all complimentary entry passes! I was so excited to tell the three of them that I called them straight away when really, I ended up wishing I’d held it in longer and told them on the way there so that I could see their faces! Everyone was obviously really happy and very grateful, and I found myself filled with a sense of pride that I hadn’t experienced before. A pride that I have the type of influence that means I can do really nice things for my loved ones. So, I decided to use this blog post – that will feature my photos and videos from the Zoo – to also discuss how I’ve managed to use authenticity to build and gain this level of influence, what it means to me, why it matters to me, and how it feels to be able to use it in a way that benefits those who mean the most to me...

HOW MY BELIEFS HAVE CHANGED

I was talking to my Richmond Fellowship Tyneside support worker about the changes in my thought processes that she wasn’t aware of because we’ve only been working together for a short time and I realized that it might make an interesting blog post… As much as I hate the thought of people going through what I have, I hope that if there are people out there who have the same beliefs that I used to hold, then reading this might work as reassurance that you can get through it and come out the other side!

I will die young

This belief was such a huge role in my mental health deterioration that I had to discuss it in a Psychology session whilst an inpatient in a specialist psychiatric hospital. I had to put a lot of work into changing this belief and developing a replacement for it (in fact, I wrote all about my efforts here) because without that work, I was well on track to succeed at committing suicide. This belief spurred on my suicide attempts because it led to the thought process that eventually, one of them would work and I’d be free forever. Now that I’m happy and enjoying my life (for the most part!) I wish it could carry on for all eternity!



I deserved the abuse

This belief started literally immediately after the abuse did. Straight away I knew I’d brought this on myself. Though, I won’t lie; this was definitely an irrational thought because if I was confronted with it then I probably couldn’t provide much evidence to support it! I guess I just thought of myself as a generally bad person; and perhaps it being so irrational is what kept it so solid in my head. It meant that no matter what anyone said they couldn’t disprove my belief because there was nothing to really contradict! Eventually, I learnt that what was done to me says more about the person who did it than it does about me.