TEN LIFE LESSONS LEARNT FROM HARRY POTTER

Since ITV are currently showing all the Harry Potter films, I thought it appropriate to blog about all of the life lessons I’ve learnt from the magical series that is Harry Potter!

Also! I’d like to dedicate this post to one of my absolute best-friends; Ellie who’s forever working her ass off juggling children and education so hopefully this post will help cheer her up!

So, here’s my top ten:

1.       Love can save lives

I thought it would make sense to begin my list with a lesson learnt from the very first film; Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone. This lesson comes from when Harry’s Mum Lily protects him from Lord Voldermort’s killing spell (avada kedavra) by giving her own life.

2.       We are not shaped by our childhood

Harry grows up being lied to; told his parents died in a car crash, that there’s no such thing as magic, he’s emotionally abused by his Aunt and Uncle who keep him in a cupboard under the stairs and regularly berate him. Yet he remains honest, kind, and caring.

“I DIDN’T TELL YOU SO THAT YOU’D FEEL SORRY FOR ME” | SYMPATHY, EMPATHY & CONDESCENTION

The moment something bad happens to you, you’ll forever have a choice: do you tell someone or don’t you? And I don’t just mean do you report abuse to the Police or do you see a Doctor if you’re in a car accident. I mean, do you tell your parents what happened? Do you tell the teachers at School? Do you tell your friends?

My reluctance to report the abuse I went through made the choice a little easier for me; why would I tell anyone with the threats he made and the worries of judgement I held? He told me that people wouldn’t believe me, that they’d think I was making it up for attention or as an excuse for my bad behavior (which was, in fact, a result of the abuse). I also knew that as soon as people knew what had happened, they’d have a choice to make; his side or mine. I’d make the ‘allegations’ and he’d make a denial; so, who would they believe? And even if they thought it was true – even if they were on my side – what if they thought I’d deserved it? What if they told the Police before I was ready to tell them – I wouldn’t have a choice! Telling someone opened so many unanswerable questions that I wouldn’t know the answers to, unless I took the risk and ‘spilled the beans.’

THE IMPORTANCE OF TELLING YOUR STORY

You’ve got the words to change a nation

But you’re biting your tongue

You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence

Afraid you’ll say something wrong

If no one ever hears it how we gunna learn your song?

Emeli Sande – Read All About It (pt III)

I’ve recently had a few bits of media work going on – filming with Channel 4, the BBC, Richmond Fellowship, and Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS FoundationTrust, as well as an interview with Koast Radio – and it got me thinking about my decision to tell the world about my mental health journey. And I’d like to encourage others to do the same.

When the abuse first began my instinct was to tell someone about it; to report it. His threats and warnings didn’t really matter when the real reluctance was coming from inside my own head. I was so afraid that I’d be judged for what had happened. That people would look at me differently and believe that I’d deserved it. They’d think less of me. Because ultimately, when abuse is reported – no matter who to – and one person is denying it ever took place, a person has to decide who they believe. You have to choose a side. And I didn’t know how I would cope if the people I knew chose his. Would it mean that actually, I hadn’t known them at all?