HOW I FEEL ABOUT ADVICE

I was recently out with some friends and we got talking about someone we know who recently flashed off her CV in a seemingly desperate bid to illustrate her entitlement to her position in teaching. Later in the conversation, one of my friends was praising my use of social media – namely Twitter - and asking for my thoughts on an online project; seemingly deeming me to be an ‘expert’ in the field! It made me think though, about whether I’m comfortable being thought of in that way and looked to for that kind of advice…


When I first started I’m NOT Disordered in January 2013, my only technical abilities were to manage my own social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I think that in starting to blog, my priorities were more about it being therapeutic for myself to reflect, to provide my friends and family with insight into my life in the psychiatric hospital over 100 miles away from them, and to encourage others to talk more openly about mental health. It was never about improving my technical ability, getting so many readers, free gifts, and event invitations. I think that the fact I didn’t start off with these intentions makes me feel slightly like a fraud and that it is wrong to accept any recognition for my ‘skills’ in achieving such opportunities.

HALF A MILLION READERS!!! | LESSONS LEARNT, ADVICE & MORE!

To those who’d ground me,

Take a message back from me,

Tell them how I’m

Defying gravity

Wicked – Defying Gravity

HOW IT ALL STARTED:

There’s a lot of things that happened whilst I was poorly that I don’t remember so I’m massively grateful that even though I was in Hospital (Cygnet Hospital Bierley), I can still remember the beginning of I’m NOT Disordered. I’d just had a 1:1 session with my Named Nurse and we’d decided that I’d begin writing about my trauma every night and agreed on a plan for staff to support me whilst I did so. When I walked back into my hospital room and saw my laptop lying on the bed (we were only allowed them on an evening/night) I just seemed to automatically open it up and start typing. Even though I was writing for myself, I think that I always knew it was destined to be read by others. Granted those ‘others’ didn’t include half a million people but the decision to post the link for my first blog post on my Facebook page wasn’t something I debated.

FIVE PIECES OF ADVICE I’M GLAD I DIDN’T TAKE

(You can find a similar post here)

So, I’ve been watching Grey’s Anatomy (I’m onto Season 10) and there’s a point where these Surgeons who were once best-friends are now going into two completely different lives. In this one episode, one of them said that the other has turned into the type of person they used to admire and the other said that the other had turned into the type of person they used to laugh at. And it made me think about how much can change – how much a person can change – from the different things that happen in life. What these things can do to you. And I began to wonder about all of the things people have said to me to try and change my life – all of the things that I’m so glad I didn’t listen to!

Also, to avoid bitching, I’m not going to be disclosing who said what!

1.      “YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY STAY BLONDE”

I’m naturally, like, white blonde! I always get told this story by my family about when we first went to see my Auntie living in Dubai and everyone would crowd around me because they thought blonde hair was incredible! Then, when the abuse ended, I wanted to change as many aspects as possible about me. I changed the spelling of my first name, I took my Mum’s maiden name, and I decided to dye my hair. I wanted to distance myself – as far as possible – from the abuse and the person I had been during it. And it was much easier to do this physically than it was psychologically. I think that, inevitably, others struggled to understand my motivation for change because at that point; no one knew what I’d been through. There came a point in my admission at Cygnet where I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I wondered whether I was now well enough to go blonde. Turns out, red had become my ‘signature’ colour – especially in terms of being a blogger and for social media.

TEN LIFE LESSONS LEARNT FROM HARRY POTTER

Since ITV are currently showing all the Harry Potter films, I thought it appropriate to blog about all of the life lessons I’ve learnt from the magical series that is Harry Potter!

Also! I’d like to dedicate this post to one of my absolute best-friends; Ellie who’s forever working her ass off juggling children and education so hopefully this post will help cheer her up!

So, here’s my top ten:

1.       Love can save lives

I thought it would make sense to begin my list with a lesson learnt from the very first film; Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone. This lesson comes from when Harry’s Mum Lily protects him from Lord Voldermort’s killing spell (avada kedavra) by giving her own life.

2.       We are not shaped by our childhood

Harry grows up being lied to; told his parents died in a car crash, that there’s no such thing as magic, he’s emotionally abused by his Aunt and Uncle who keep him in a cupboard under the stairs and regularly berate him. Yet he remains honest, kind, and caring.