“It takes more courage to try and fail than not to try and never
succeed.”
Nanette Avery
So, I was writing a blog post about my new job (Head of Marketing and Communications for a brand new Company!) and had to go through my archives to ensure I wasn’t repeating myself when I came across a Mid-Year Review from 2020 (you can still read it here) and one from 2022 (which you can also still read, here). And seeing them, has obviously inspired me to create another review from January 2023 – June 2023, but – as is the norm with my blogging ethos – I wanted to create one that was a bit different and (hopefully) better! So, I’ve decided to really delve into the nitty-gritty of the blog posts published during the last six months; to talk about the process of creating them, the statistics of them, advice and additional thoughts around them, and I’ll be including some favourite photos and reels from the last six months of content on my Instagram account (which you can follow here) and my Twitter (which you can follow here). I really hope that it provides insight into all the passion and dedication that truly goes into I’m NOT Disordered…
GOODBYE 2022, HELLO 2023 | I'm NOT Disordered
(imnotdisordered.co.uk)
As I mentioned at the start of this New Year’s post, it’s a time
of the year that is really a key moment that a blogger very rarely misses/fails
to mark with a piece of appropriately themed content. This typically means it’s
incredibly challenging to be someone who wants their blog and its content to
really stand out from the crowd and to have a special, attractive factor that
no other blog offers or provides. My timing in so far as creating I’m NOT
Disordered, was actually rather perfect because it was at a time when there
were really only four well-known mental health blogs – none of which were
written by a psychiatric hospital inpatient (as I was then). So almost
instantly I had a niche without feeling as though I had to work very hard to do
so! It actually makes me feel incredibly lucky now that I really do like to prioritise
having a special quality to my content.
In order to retain that differential quality, it’s so important
that when you’re creating content on an occasion that there’s a chance it’ll
get lost amongst a ton of others (such as New Years), you find a unique angle
to use. And I think this is where my
creativity really comes into play… I’ve always been told I’m a creative person
and that I’m skilled in creative writing etc. but – not being someone who is
comfortable blowing their own trumpet – I’ve never truly recognised it; until I
was able to see the connection between the content on my blog that I put the
most creativity into and its resulting popularity.
Top Tip for
Being Creative: If I’m seriously stuck for ideas (which happens very rarely!) I’m
very encouraging of the idea of looking at other Blogger’s or Influencer’s
content and taking inspiration from them. I think there’s far too much
negativity, envy, and resentment between individuals in this industry and I
think that rather than viewing another Blogger as a rival; it’s so much more positive
and productive to take them – and their content – as influential. It can be a
real starting off point to build upon their angles and ideas etc and to make
them more apt for your own audience.
Alongside
this Birthday post in January, I also published one around the party I hosted
to celebrate ten years of I’m NOT Disordered (EVERYTHING
ALL OF YOU MEAN TO ME | I’M NOT DISORDERED’S 10TH BIRTHDAY PARTY | I'm NOT
Disordered (imnotdisordered.co.uk))!
There have been so many moments in my blogging career that have
felt so incredibly surreal, exciting, and – in some ways – intimidating; and having
my blog for ten years was definitely one of these moments! I mean, when I created,
I’m NOT Disordered in 2013, I did so to communicate with my family and friends
whilst I was in a psychiatric hospital over 100 miles away; so, the longest I
imagined it being active for was the length of the admission (which ended up
being – in total – 2.5 years). And I think that’s pretty understandable because
why would I still need to do that for communication if I was back at home?
I saw, however, the impact my blog was having on others too, I saw
the reader count rise to illustrate it was helping more and more people, and I
experienced the opportunities my blog was already affording me. As these
aspects grew and continued to improve, I found myself feeling more and more
passionate and dedicated to I’m NOT Disordered and everything that it meant. I
think that it was because of this change in my attitude, feelings, and thought
processes around my blog, that I continued to maintain it for all these years after
my discharge from the psychiatric hospital. So, I’ve been able to watch as it
steadily has become to be one of the largest and most important parts of my mental
health recovery and really, my life in general. And so, it almost wrong to not
do something a bit more special for the ten-year-anniversary of its creation,
and when almost all my best friends came to the party? I couldn’t have been
more happy or proud.
Advice For Planning
a Celebration of a Blog Achievement or Milestone: If it’s
meant to be a surprise, have at least one person ‘in the know’ so that you have
support if things get stressful or if you want someone’s opinion when you’re
confronted with multiple options for things that might vary from a colour
scheme to having a vegetarian option on the menu! If it’s not a surprise, begin
planning as soon as you have the idea for it to be able to get invitations out
with plenty of notice to assure guest’s availability which might alter any of
your plans e.g., seating arrangements, gift bags etc.
Favourite
Amazon Purchase of January 2023: 5 Pack 10ft
iPhone Charging Lead: £7.19
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, GRACIE | I'm NOT Disordered
(imnotdisordered.co.uk)
Last but not the least important blog post for January 2023, was the
one celebrating adding another furry baby to the family! When my last cat;
Emmy, was put to sleep last year, I asked the Vet for advice on helping Luna
(my bunny and Emmy’s best friend) to cope with the loss and her immediate
response was; “get her a friend.” At the time, I instantly took that as to mean
to get another cat and almost instinctively, I began wracking my brains to
think of ways to overcome all the difficulties I would be faced with in introducing
a kitten to a bunny (and vice versa!). Whilst Luna and I bonded quite well
without Emmy, I felt some sort of distance that I was 100% certain I couldn’t remove
or reduce in any way, and so – after a few months of just the two of us – I got
Gracie; a brown mini-Lionhead bunny (which is the same breed as Luna, though
she is black and white).
Now, the difficulty in publishing posts to announce the arrival of
a new pet, is that if you read it back a while after having the pet, you might find
that you’ve actually resolved some uncertainties or answered a few anxious
questions you’d talked about in the post. And that’s been a big reason why I’ve
often followed up on pet arrivals with a ‘one month with…’ or even a yearly
update on the anniversary of their homecoming; but I haven’t done this for
Gracie. I think that there’s no huge reason behind that – it wasn’t as though I
made a conscious decision not to post something, it just turned out that way.
In all honesty, it’s not something I had even really noticed until right now
and initially it made me kind of sad and worried that it looked as though I don’t
love her as much as the other pets because I have blogged about them more
often. And a few years ago, a concern like that might have resulted in me
writing a blog post purely with the motivation of proving that I love Gracie!
Now, though? Well, now I have the confidence to recognise that so long as
Gracie knows how much I love her; that’s all that really matters! A reason for
this change in attitude, has been that I’ve really seen the importance of my
blog posts never feeling forced in any way, never seeming to be mandatory, and
me never feeling pressured into writing them. I want to write content that I
want to write, and I want to write it in ways that mean I can be honest,
passionate, and dedicated to the topic or instance the post is inspired by or
directly referring to.
How I Begun
Taking Ownership of I’m NOT Disordered’s Content: One of the most valuable lessons that I used to have regular lectures
regarding, from the Crisis Team and other mental health professionals; was the
importance of taking responsibility for your actions. They recognised that I
was someone who would cope with something in an unsafe way, and then say I’d
only done so because such-and-such had said this or because such-and-such had
done that. I like to think that this behaviour and attitude is no longer a part
of me and that if anything, it’s actually made me eager to promote others do
this too! And one area of my life that this change has had been of huge benefit
to, is in my blog. I hope that in taking responsibility for the content produced
on I’m NOT Disordered, it really illustrates my passion, dedication, and
determination to my blog and to providing helpful content for its incredible
readers.
It’s weird to look back at February – and especially to this first
blog post of the month – because I feel like it’s the epitome of a good
illustration of how spontaneous and conflicting mental illness can be – I mean,
I spent the beginning of February 2023 celebrating my life in turning 32… And
the tail end of the month? Well, that was spent wishing my life was over as a
psychiatric hospital inpatient, sectioned under the Mental Health Act! But I
feel like pointing this out and recognising this, is really important in
getting across the true dangers of suicide… There’s a saying about this that I find
really helpful – ‘suicide doesn’t only end the chances of things getting worse,
it also stops things from ever getting any better.’
There have been so many occasions where I’ve been offered amazing opportunities
or have been engaging in these once-in-a-lifetime experiences that are a result
of, I’m NOT Disordered’s success and popularity; and I’ve just felt so
completely grateful for all those who have truly saved my life on a number of occasions.
But then, there’s also been instances of bad news and upsetting situations
where I’ve ended up resenting those same people and felt as though they’re to
blame for the fact I’m now going through hardship. I’ve had times where I’ve actually
genuinely thought ‘they’ve saved me because their job description has told them
to, but they’re nowhere to be seen when there’s a ton of horrible things that I
then have to deal with because they saved me!’
The fact that I have these instances of negative and difficult thoughts
and feelings, are a motivation for me to really document and celebrate
achievements and reaching important and special milestones – in my life and in
my blogging career. So, I’m really grateful to have this Birthday blog post
that I could look back on and draw hope and inspiration from, whilst I was in
the psychiatric hospital when I was sectioned just a few weeks later!
Advice On
Birthday Blog Posts: One thing I
will say about Birthday posts in general though, is that similarly to New Years
posts, you are kind of limited on the number of angles you can use for your
blog post… Typically, it’s about reflecting on the previous year or using the
age/number in some way e.g., 32 memories, or 32 changes I want to make… Don’t
be disheartened though, view it as being an opportunity to be even more
creative and inventive and concentrate on the importance of getting across whatever
message you want readers to take from the post.
Favourite
Amazon Purchase of February 2023: Max Factor
Foundation: £6.30
MASSIVE PROJECT TITLE REVEAL!!! | I'm NOT Disordered
(imnotdisordered.co.uk)
Whilst I was in the psychiatric hospital at the tail end of
February, I had to make several big decisions, and one of them was around the
release date of a huge project – a new Book/Guide – I was working on… I had
originally intended for it to be complete and published by April 20th
and I had announced that date, but being so unwell that I was sectioned meant
that I really wasn’t in the ‘right’ mindset or had the real ability to work on
the Guide. It was a difficult decision to recognise that April 20th
was just no longer a practical publication date because I truly hate the idea
of letting people down or failing in any way possible. I think that I’ve felt failed
and dismissed on so many occasions with mental health professionals (and others)
that I really know just how horrible that can feel, so I’m determined to
prevent anyone feeling that same way as a result of my own behaviours, actions,
thought processes, and attitude.
I eventually made the decision based on the recognition that if I
tried to keep to the April deadline, I was 100% going to feel stressed trying to
finish it on time, and then I’d end up feeling like a failure and a disappointment
when I finally recognised that I needed longer to complete it. And having had
that huge mental health relapse in February, it meant that I felt really
cautious of everything controllable in my life – I was (and I still am) fully
aware that after such a horrible time and admission, you can feel like you’re close
to an edge for a long time afterwards. As though if the wind blows even the
slightest of breezes at you the wrong way, you’ll be down and back to square one.
The concern of this possibility is a hugely influential quality that left me
making the very wise decision to postpone the release date to November 20th.
I ended up really enjoying writing this post of the title reveal
because it filled me with hope and excitement – two feelings I felt I hadn’t
experienced for forever. Even when I have experienced those emotions recently,
I still get such a ‘high’ from achievements and milestones and getting to ‘announce’
important and meaningful things! The notion that there’s something so positive
and enjoyable going on in my life, can help me to feel motivation for any time
and effort I’ve needed – or still do need to – to put into it. It makes everything
worthwhile and that leaves me feeling more passionate and determined to
complete it.
Largest Tip to
Writing a Reveal Post: Really
harness your excitement and let it flow through the post so that you increase
the chance of leaving readers feeling just as thrilled as you are – which,
typically, is the aim or goal in writing reveal blog posts.
Favourite
Amazon Purchase of March 2023: Benefit
Badgal Bang Mascara Travel Size: £13.89
Since I created, I’m NOT Disordered, there have been so many occasions
in my life where I’ve felt that it would be almost wrong to not create any kind
of content on my blog about them; and being sectioned for the first time in
years was one of these instances. This – feeling some sort of pressure (even if
it is self-induced!) around your blog and its content – isn’t resolutely bad or
completely good… And in this scenario, it was actually a good pressure because
it encouraged me to write out all of my thoughts and feelings around the sectioning
and the hospitalisation. And whilst writing about my mental health is something
that I’ve always found helpful and therapeutic, I don’t always recognise when I
should do it and utilise it as a coping mechanism; so, the pressure I put on
myself worked to my advantage, really.
After publishing the post, I was then able to watch it begin to
help others too when I received a number of personal messages on my social
media accounts and in my email inbox. So many readers told me that it had instilled
a sense of reassurance that they weren’t alone in trying to find their footing
after their discharge from a psychiatric hospital admission. And others agreed that
they had also found my suggestions/recommendations helpful to their own
aftermath of the admission. Now, the thing with receiving these comments is
that on the one hand they are truly magical and leave me feeling incredibly
proud, inspired, and positive with the thought that my little blog has helped
at least one person.
On the other hand, though, I’m saddened and upset because these
comments and messages remind me of the reality of what it means that I’m not alone
in going through mental illness and traumatic experiences. To think of anyone having
even the remotest of familiarities and understanding of the thoughts, feelings,
and events that I’ve gone through is – to be honest – heart-breaking. I wouldn’t
wish these things on anyone, but after all these years of being a mental health
blogger and receiving these comments, there’s really no denying this reality
and there’s no place in this industry to be naïve or to be somewhat rude in not
wanting to hear the experiences of others whilst putting posts about my own,
out there into the world. Of course, there’s always a sense of control and
choice in using the internet and recognising that we can be responsible for what
we see or don’t see; if you go searching for something negative and look up
potentially upsetting hashtags, then you’ll find negative, triggering content… And
if you decide to only look for tips on recovery and positive stories of hope
and determination, that’s what you’ll be shown.
Coping With
Blog Pressures: I actually have a lot to say on this one and I’ve thought of so
many different pressures I’ve experienced in being a Blogger, and ways in which
I’ve coped with them; so, I’m going to make this into an entire blog post of
its own! But, briefly, always remember that you are in control and that you are
absolutely well within your rights to say no to something. You built your blog
into all that it is, and it’s so important that you need to remain responsible
for all that it stands for.
Favourite
Amazon Purchase of April 2023: Lola Design
Giraffe Organiser: £14.99
Now, in light of me forever striving to keep I’m NOT Disordered
100% open and honest; there was another blog post I published in April which I
had actually pasted above, but as soon as I realised, I’d end up needing to talk
more about it rather than just putting the link there, I kind of ‘chickened out!’
I was talking with one of my best-friend’s the other night about the different
mental health professionals and treatment/therapy we’re both experiencing at
the minute, and we both talked about the importance of recognising and
respecting when a service user says something will make them feel worse… And
for me, it’s about believing that appointments with the Step Up Team and having
my first meeting with the Community Psychiatric Nurse I’ve apparently now been
assigned, have the very real potential of tipping me over the edge. Like, I
fully appreciate the almost stereotypical view that going through therapy and
talking things through, is the best way to reach mental health recovery; but I
no longer believe it to be 100% always true for absolutely everyone.
When I was discharged from the psychiatric hospital at the end of
February, I was put under the care of the Crisis Team and then the Step Up Team
(who are basically like the Crisis Team, but they aren’t 24/7) and it was
finally decided that I needed to undergo Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). I
had the realisation, however, that in the time between seeing these
professionals and being asked all of these deep, personal questions that had me
delving into my head so much more intensely, I was actually ok! Like, I felt
safe – until I saw them and felt like everything had been raked up and brought
to the surface to be raw and… alive. And it’s not about ignoring things or pretending
nothing is wrong; it’s about recognising when it’s safe to concentrate on
something difficult and when it’s healthier and more productive to go about
things and talk about it if, and when, you want to talk about it, with who you
want to talk about it to!
Canva Tip: So, this blog post featured a few graphics I created through Canva (which is my absolute favourite editing
site and pretty much the only one I use to create media for I’m NOT Disordered!).
Now, I say ‘tip’ as though I’m an expert! I actually had never heard of Canva
until my Digital Marketing Internship a few years ago when they taught me how
to use it to create graphics and memes for social media. But my tips for if you
have a background graphic and want any text over it to stand out, click on the
text, choose the ‘Effects’ feature above your graphic, and then select ‘Lift’
and drag the marker to the right – this will add the effect of the text lifting
off of the page. Or! Select the ‘Elements’ feature and then add a circle or rectangle
shape, put the text within it, and then click the ‘Transparency’ tool (which usually
looks like some little squares with some lighter than others) and use the
marker to change how vibrant the element is, this will provide a paler
background to the text without it being a clunky text box!
My most favourite and amazing thing to have happened in the last
six months, has very obviously and definitely, been getting my little kitten;
Ruby. I had actually talked about getting a kitten for quite a while before
adding her to the home on May 27th because for about a month or two
before that, I had noticed that my two mini-Lionhead bunnies; Luna and Gracie,
were spending the majority of their time together. In another room to whichever
I was in. They’d either be cuddled up together or washing each other and nine
times out of ten, I was just sat on my tod in the front room; blogging and
watching Netflix!
When we lost my last cat; Emmy, the Vet recommended getting Luna a
new friend and at that time, I was struggling, but I could see that Luna really
really really needed a companion; and I figured that introducing her to another
bunny would be easier than to another cat; so that’s why I got Gracie. I obviously
definitely don’t regret getting a bunny instead of a cat – because Gracie has genuinely
done Luna the world of good – but I hadn’t realised how lonely I would end up feeling
by giving Luna a much more similar companion who she could very easily and
quickly bond with. And, in fairness, even when I began realising how lonely I
was, I still misjudged the harshness of it and didn’t realise quite how hard it
was, until I actually brought Ruby home!
When I first started to realise the loneliness was quite intense,
I voiced my thoughts on getting a kitten to a number of people and precisely no
one agreed it was a good idea – to the point that when I was under the care of
the Crisis Team and put the deposit down on Ruby, I swore them to secrecy about
her! Sadly, as they have done with many things, the Crisis Team didn’t respect
me and told my Mum about Ruby. However, as the time got closer and closer to
her being old enough to come home, I found myself more determined to stay alive
and more convinced that getting her would help me to stay alive; I finally
started feeling confident enough to talk more about her.
The other important component to this blog post was the fact it
was in collaboration with Cats Protection – something which I massively loved. In
all honesty, one of the large, saddest elements in losing Emmy and getting
Gracie was the recognition that I wouldn’t be able to collaborate with Cats Protection
again (having already worked with them a number of times). I like to think that
I’m a very passionate and dedicated person who appreciates loyalty and support,
and so I like to show loyalty to others – especially the organisations and
individuals I work with in producing some of I’m NOT Disordered’s content. Also
– it might be clear already too – I’m really passionate about animals and love
to illustrate how beneficial pets can be for your mental health; so working
with Cats Protection and getting to know the lovely Media Team there, has me very
devoted to working with them in any way that has even the smallest possibility
of helping their cause.
Coping With
Loneliness:
1.
Search groups, pages, and hashtags on social media to connect with
like-minded people
2.
Contact helplines for help and support where the loneliness is
affecting your mental health
3.
Find a way to vent by yourself – whether that means writing or
screaming into a pillow
4.
Carefully consider getting a pet (I mean, how could I not say or
recommend that?!)
5.
Keep distracted with activities and hobbies that can leave you
feeling grateful for alone time
Favourite
Amazon Purchase of May 2023: iPhone 12
Case:
£8.49
Favourite
Amazon Purchase of June 2023: MILAN Pen: £8.40
Having experienced that mental health relapse in February, it feels like it has been a long time since I’ve had any sense of achievement – especially around anything regarding my blog. I mean, I’m always incredibly appreciative of gaining so many new readers per day and that’s always really special for me because I believe it symbolises an increase in the chance, I have of helping someone else – and that, after all, is one of my biggest motivations in blogging.
But,
in completing five blog posts across the first month of having Ruby? Well, that
felt like a huge milestone for this year, and a real turning point for my
mental health too – to recognise that I’m still capable of producing content like
that – in terms of its quality, the ability and qualification to collaborate with
such a huge charity, the popularity of the content, and the general and varied
success of it… And so, it’s the perfect end to my mid-year review!