A YEAR LATER | HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021

So many people are pleased to say goodbye to 2020 since so many terrible events have happened during it. Aside from the pandemic and UK lockdown, I personally, lost quite a few loved ones this year. Yet I still struggle to view it as entirely ‘bad…’ Since my Aripiprazole (an antipsychotic medication) was restarted and increased, I’ve not experienced a single hallucination and therefore, haven’t self-harmed since August. I’ve also achieved quite a lot this year relating to I’m NOT Disordered (particularly reaching 800,000 readers), so I feel torn between being thankful that the year is ‘over’ whilst also having the ability to look back at it with some level of fondness…

So, I was looking at last year’s blog post (which you can read in full here) and thought I’d include updates and new thoughts around each of the 20 points I’d discussed.

One

The first was about saying a thank-you to Richmond Fellowship who have provided me with a support worker (the worker has changed a few times over the years) since my hospital discharge in 2014. But I wasn’t really thanking them for that support, I was actually acknowledging the amount of opportunities they’ve given me through events and meetings. And that still stands! Over the last year, the lockdown has prevented so many face-to-face meetings and pretty much every single event; but I’ve still felt included in being a member of the Working Together Committee – who have a huge influence on the general way in which Richmond Fellowship is ran. I’m enjoying have the ability to speak up on behalf of service users and being treat with respect that regards my views, thoughts, and feelings on different topics, as important. However, I’d also like to thank my support worker this year! Since the beginning of the UK lockdown, our face-to-face appointments have been scarce and that has meant using the phone to get support… I used to struggle with audio calls because it reminded me of the auditory hallucinations in that I could hear them but couldn’t see where – or who – they were coming from. Being almost forced to do calls though, has gotten me used to the sensation and I find myself ringing my support worker and speaking to her even more than when it was just normal appointments! And she’s been brilliant with this.

AFTERMATH & MENTAL HEALTH

"The world breaks everyone and afterward, many are strong at the broken places."

Ernest Hemingway

With Christmas becoming extra special this year for lots of people seeing it as a huge cheer-up through the lockdown and coronavirus pandemic, it’s sort of been inevitable that more people will experience a ‘Christmas Come-down!’ Realising this, I thought I would blog some tips for making it through that time, and then my thinking sort of snowballed into me thinking about aftermaths in general. And aftermaths can be so connected to a person’s mental health that it feels worth talking about the entirety of them…

aftermath

[ˈɑːftəmaθˈɑːftəmɑːθ]

NOUN

The consequences or after-effects of a significant unpleasant event.

 

SELF-HARM

If I’ve labelled the aftermath of self-harm difficult or bad in any way, I’ve sometimes found people surprised by this because they’ve assumed that if I’m self-harming it’s to help myself in some way and so surely, I should consider the aftermath of it to actually be pleasant. And that if I didn’t think of it as enjoyable, why would I continue to self-harm? My response to this is an attempt to get across the desperation that a person usually feels when they self-harm. Especially where it isn’t the first time…

You can become so desperate to escape the motivations to hurt yourself that you don’t stop for even a moment to consider how awful any previous aftermaths have been. And it isn’t really about denial and blocking out those memories, it’s just that… Well, personally, I have the mindset that no matter what the aftermath, it’ll be worth that very short, momentary feeling of relief that I experience immediately after self-harming. So, it’s not as though all those memories about unhelpful responses in the aftermath of self-harm aren’t in my head; just that in the grand scheme of things, they mean nothing. Honestly, in the past, there’ve been times when a professional’s response to my self-harm has left me saying ‘I’m never going back to that A&E!’ or ‘I’ll never speak to the Crisis Team again!’ Yet, those instances don’t change my decision to self-harm.

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | POST TWENTY-FIVE: A ROUND-UP OF THE SERIES

Merry Christmas! And welcome to post twenty-five; the final post in Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be doing a quick round-up of the series with my favourite parts from each post!

 

December 1^st saw the introduction to the series with some reminiscing on previous Christmassy blog posts, and a few words on what to expect from this year’s Blogmas.

December 2^nd was the first recommendation of the series and I decided to kick it off with tips and information on different coping skills for a variety of Christmassy scenarios, ranging from pressures around food, to feeling undeserving. I especially enjoyed writing about the ‘pressure to be happy’ that is so prominent and powerful particularly at this time of year.

December 3^rd was the second recommendation and I feel honoured to say that it was in collaboration with Wilko who very kindly gifted me a Christmas tree and various decorations for it! My favourite part of this post was definitely filming putting up that tree, though I also enjoyed putting together the little gift guide from some of their products.

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | POST TWENTY-FOUR: MY MONTH IN PHOTOS

Hello and welcome to post twenty-four of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

I literally can't believe this is the penultimate Blogmas post! And it's a quick-ish one! Today, I’ve put together my photos from each day of December!

^{Enjoy & I'll see you Christmas Day for a quick round-up of the entire series!}

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION TWENTY-TWO: FAVOURITE SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS | IN COLLABORATION WITH LEAPS & GUM ON MY SHOE | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number twenty-two of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’m pairing up with Listening Ear And Positive Support (LEAPS) Social Media Manager and Martin Baker from the blog Gum On My Shoe, to bring to you our favourite social media accounts.

We’re going to start with the Social Media Manager of the support group I Chair; LEAPS, who has created a list of ten favourite Twitter accounts…

Hello, I’m the Social Media Manager for LEAPS and I manage their Twitter Account. Aimee has asked me to write about 10 followers from the LEAPS Twitter for her Blogmas Series, but you could always look through our amazing followers and choose for yourself who to follow!

@leapsonline are a support group in the North East who offer help and support to anyone over the age of 18 and who are unwaged. We provide support with employment, interviews, training, benefits and mental health and we are funded by @TNLComFund.

The 10 twitter accounts are:

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION TWENTY-ONE: CHRISTMAS SONGS

Hello and welcome to recommendation number twenty-one of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be sharing with you all my favourite Christmassy tunes and the lyrics I love from each of them; as well as YouTube videos for each…

 

Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas

I don’t want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don’t care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas Tree

 

Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas?

It’s Christmas time

There’s no need to be afraid

At Christmas time

We let in light and we banish shade

 

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION TWENTY: MY FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS GIFT WRAPPING PRODUCTS FROM PAPERCHASE

Hello and welcome to recommendation number twenty of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ve compiled a little list of my favourite Christmassy stationary bits from Paperchase; I hope that if you’re yet to feel festive, this post encourages you to add some Christmas themed products to your life!

 

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION NINTEEEN: BOOKS | IN COLLABORATION WITH WATERSTONES | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation nineteen of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be talking about the importance of books and reading for your mental health, as well as recommending a few of my absolute favourite books, with the help of Waterstones!

So, I’ve picked six books which I think illustrate six of the benefits reading can have on your mental health (these are in no particular order):

 

1.  Escape

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Screenplay by J K Rowling: £6.99

“I’ve chosen my side.” 

I think that all of the Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts books and films have hugely had this component to them and that a lot of people who have read and watched the series have also felt that doing so, provided them with a huge opportunity to escape their reality.

Something I especially love about this series is that everything around magic is written in a believable, trustworthy way. Like, it had me thinking ‘that could actually happen!’ It’s a brilliant way to encourage the reader to let their imagination really run wild and to envision a whole alternate world. And doing that, means your head isn’t in this world and experiencing the difficulties and hardship you might be going through.

In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) you’re taught to use distraction and mindfulness as a method to cope when you’re struggling with your mental health. The distraction part is pretty obvious, but mindfulness in regard to distraction is all about putting all your energy and focus into doing this one alternative activity. And it’s about bringing your mind back to the activity if it starts to ‘wander.’ You will most likely use these skills in reading in general, but I think it’s especially easy to use them in reading this book in particular.

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION EIGHTEEN: CHRISTMASSY CLOTHING

Hello and welcome to recommendation eighteen of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ve put together some clothing and accessories for different Christmastime events, all from ASOS!

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION SEVENTEEN: GIFT GUIDE FOR A VARIETY OF HOBBIES

Hello and welcome to recommendation number seventeen of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be providing you with a little gift guide for the people in your life who have a whole host of hobbies! One of the things I love about Christmas is the gift-giving and I don’t mean that to sound in a shallow, superficial way! I love presents because I think they can really show someone you care about, just how much you know them. And I think that buying presents can actually be a whole lot easier where that person has a hobby! It’s like a starting-off block!

But if you’re still struggling, here’s some ideas from Amazon…

 

 

FOODIE 

Advent Calendar with Spices: £44.90

Food Scratch Map: £11.99

Food Presentation Kit: £10.00

 

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION SIXTEEN: MY TEN FAVOURITE APPS | IN COLLABORATION WITH O2 | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number sixteen of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be collaborating with O2 to recommend some of the apps I use the most…

 

MY TEN FAVOURITE APPS:

*in no particular order*

Twitter

I’ve found that you’re so much more likely to get a response from an organisation if it’s on Twitter rather than through their customer service! I think it’s because of the publicity aspect of it… particularly when the individual has more followers than the organisation! So that’s the superficial side of Twitter. But it’s like I always say; social media and the internet is what you make of it. If you want to see negative, triggering content then search for it. If you’re looking for support or help, there’s plenty of that online too! I particularly enjoy the hashtag chats where, at a certain time on a certain day, people with something in common use the same hashtag to create a conversation amongst themselves. Sometimes these chats are actually fairly structured with an ice breaker and a theme; and I think this illustrates the huge potential Twitter has to create a safe, comfortable, and supportive forum for users to feel they can be unapologetically and unconditionally themselves.

FIVE FAVOURITE PERSON ACCOUNTS:

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION FIFTEEN: CHRISTMAS WITH ASOS | IN COLLABORATION WITH ASOS | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number fifteen of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ve chosen some of my favourite Winter/Christmas bits from ASOS and put them into a little unboxing vlog as well as linked them all here for you to look at and maybe even purchase! Oh! And I picked out some extra bits and pieces because ASOS is just full of amazing Christmassy items!

Products mentioned:

Typo Knitted Stocking Christmas Decoration: £5.00

Typo Gingerbread House: £3.00

Brave Soul Gingerbread Christmas Jumper: £15.00

Fizz Selfie Lens Kit: £3.55

Typo Eye Mask & Luggage Tag: £5.40

ASOS Fairisle Knitted Jumper (Mens): £30.00

Chelsea Peers Christmas Pyjamas Set: £22.00

Skinny Dip Christmas Sweater: £25.00

Skinny Dip Christmas T-Shirt: £15.00

3-in-1 Charger: £9.99

Revolution Beauty Advent Calendar: £40.00

 

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION FOURTEEN: CHRISTMAS MOVIES

Hello and welcome to recommendation number fourteen in Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today I’ll be recommending some Christmassy movies that you should be watching to brighten your day and get you in the festive spirit!

Watching movies was one of the many, simple things I missed out on when I was an inpatient in a psychiatric hospital for two and a half years. We were allowed TVs, DVD players, and Freeview boxes in our rooms but we couldn’t watch anything until the evening when we had finished our therapeutic groups (there was a timetable and everything!). And what we did watch was regulated by the staff who banned films like Girl Interrupted because they believed it to be triggering and inspirational (in a bad way, obviously).

However, one of my favourite memories from being in that hospital (there were some good times too!) was lying in bed with one of the girls I’d come to be closest to on Boxing Day, and watching the Disney film; Tangled! I think it was especially nice that it was Boxing Day because it made the movie even more of a distraction and a brilliant method of escape! Being in a psychiatric hospital at Christmastime is so sad because so many traditional things are missed out on – not just visiting Christmas Markets or going to a carol service, but also not being able to have things like tinsel (ligature risk) and fairy lights (breakable glass to self-harm with)!

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION THIRTEEN: CHRISTMAS AT B&M | IN COLLABORATION WITH B&M | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number thirteen of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today. I’ll be collaborating with B&M to show you all my favourite Christmassy products from the store’s new line…

 

For prices & more decorations: https://www.bmstores.co.uk/products/christmas/christmas-decorations
 

For more gifts for her: https://www.bmstores.co.uk/products/christmas/christmas-gifts/for-her

For more gifts for him: https://www.bmstores.co.uk/products/christmas/christmas-gifts/for-him

For more gifts for the kids: https://www.bmstores.co.uk/products/christmas/christmas-gifts/for-kids

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION TWELVE: CHRISTMAS DRINKS

Hello and welcome to recommendation number twelve of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be recommending some festive beverages for you to enjoy, with contribution from Pinterest!

 

The Grinch Punch 

ü  7-Up or Sprite

ü  Lime Sherbert

ü  Pineapple Juice

 

Bailey’s Chocolatini

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION ELEVEN: CHRISTMAS FOOD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number eleven of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I thought I’d do an entire post on all the best festive foods – with a little bit of help from Asda and Pinterest!

Candy Cane Caprese Board 

ü  Basil

ü  Tomatoes

ü  Baguette

ü  Mozzarella Cheese

ü  Balsamic Glaze

ü  Olive Oil

ü  Sea Salt

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION TEN: PETS, A DISCOUNT CODE, & CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR THEM! | IN COLLABORATION WITH BANDANA BOWTIQUE | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number ten in Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I want to do something not completely un-heard of for me; shed light on the importance of pets and ‘recommend’ them and maybe, even some Christmas presents for your furry family members!

Also, very proud to say that this post is in collaboration with Bandana Bowtique who I've had the amazing opportunity to design some Christmassy pet bandanas for! And they've kindly gifted you all a 10% discount code on any of their bandanas!

It’s no secret that I find having my pets (a lop-eared, Lionhead bunny called Pixie, and a calico rescue cat named Emmy) really beneficial to my mental health.

I barely remember the pets I had growing up; they were mostly Syrian hamsters, I had two Russian Dwarf Hamsters too and a gerbil at one point! But I was so young, and my childhood was so idyllic that I can’t recall them ever having some kind of impact on my mental health because I wasn’t really aware of its existence!

The last two pets I had at my Mum’s home were a Fish called Elvis, a Syrian Hamster called Butter, and a black cat called Saffy. While I was in the specialist psychiatric hospital over 100 miles away from home, my loved ones, and my pets; the Hamster and Fish passed away because both animals have a short lifespan. The cat, however, lived for just over twelve years and didn’t pass away until I was in my own home two years after my hospital discharge in 2014.

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION NINE: CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

Hello and welcome to recommendation number nine of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ve trolled the internet and found some incredibly festive Christmas decorations from an enormous range of companies from a whole mixture of price ranges! I hope you find some inspiration from this post to create your own magical and festive environment!

 

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION EIGHT: CHRISTMAS CRAFTS | IN COLLABORATION WITH THE WORKS | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number eight of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be collaborating with The Works to bring to you some of this year’s magically festive arts and crafts products!

I absolutely love getting creative, so I was really excited to start this collaboration and go shopping on The Works’ website – which I’ve actually never done before because I usually just pay a visit to their store in my hometown. But I thought that for this project, it’d be better to shop online so that I could see their entire collection.

I ended up deciding to use the opportunity to buy some items for two of my best friends and asked them each to pick whether they’d like me to decorate a wooden advent calendar or a large, wooden box. Georgie picked the box and Marty chose the advent calendar…

Here’s a little video of the items and the finished products (all will be linked beneath):

 

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION SEVEN: ONLINE COURSES | IN COLLABORATION WITH CENTRE OF EXCELLENCE | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number seven of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be talking about the importance of education and recommending some of my favourite online courses that you could be taking… with a little help from the Centre of Excellence!

A lot of bad things happened to me at High School, and sadly, it really shaped – in a negative, debilitating way – my thoughts around education and being in a classroom environment. The experiences left me uncertain about being in School, but I’d only ever been taught that after your GCSE’s, you do your A Levels, and then go to University, and then get a job! Teachers didn’t explain that you could do Apprenticeships, or even that you could do your A Levels at a College and didn’t have to stay at High School.

So, it meant that I had no idea how many options I had when staying at the horrible School became no longer appropriate! And instead of looking into what was available, I transferred to another High School and joined their Sixth Form to do my A Levels. I was determined that what had happened to me wouldn’t stop me building a future, but the conviction that Sixth Form was the only way forward meant that I didn’t even give myself time to consider whether I would cope being in a classroom again, or being surrounded by people who had the potential to abuse their position of power.

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION SIX: MY CHRISTMAS WISHLIST

Hello and welcome to recommendation number six of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered! Today I’ll be giving you all a sneak peek of my own little Christmas Wishlist!

For prices & more items: https://www.asos.com/women/

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION FIVE: SELF SOOTHING | IN COLLABORATION WITH SUPERDRUG & MADE BY GEORGIA MAI | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number five of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be talking about the importance of self-care for your mental health and how vital it has been to stabilise my own. This post is in collaboration with Superdrug, so I’ll also be recommending some bits I’ve picked out from their website!

In 2011, my Mum and I found out about Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) after a Psychiatrist mentioned that it was the recommended treatment for someone with my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She and I were baffled as to why I’d had the diagnosis for two years and had spent those years in and out of psychiatric hospitals, self-harming, and attempting suicide, yet we’d never even heard of DBT!

Unfortunately, the mental health services in my locality were very limited in supporting someone with BPD and there really wasn’t anyone specialising in treating someone with the diagnosis through DBT. It meant that when a suicide attempt left me on life support in intensive care, the professionals were sort of forced to transfer me to a specialist psychiatric hospital over 100 miles away from my home and my loved ones. It wasn’t that infuriating until a member of the hospital’s staff commented that if I’d lived in their locality, I would’ve had the treatment so much sooner. Postcode lottery.

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION FOUR: GIFTS FOR EVERYONE

Hello and welcome to recommendation number four in Blogmas 2020 with I'm NOT Disordered!

Today’s topic is gifts – probably the most obvious recommendation aspect of Christmas! I think that there's a lot of controversary around presents at Christmas with some people trying to empathise that the holiday shouldn't be about that. That it's become more materialistic and 'show-boat' in that people are constantly trying to impress one another with bigger, better, more expensive presents... 

So, here's a whole lot of gifts for a variety of different people in your life and with all sorts of price ranges included...

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION THREE: ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS

Hello and welcome to recommendation number three in Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, the post is going to look a bit different… I wanted to talk a bit about organization and recommend some skills to help you to keep your affairs in order, but I thought what better to help than to create checklists and worksheets for you to actually use in your own life?!

I really struggle with my mental health when my environment and life in general are a mess! And sometimes my home (mainly my bedroom) doesn’t look tidy but actually, I know where everything is and it all has its own place. I think that a huge reason for me struggling with this is that – without my medication – I experience hallucinations…

When my mental health was at its absolute worst, I was experiencing four auditory hallucinations and seeing numerous ‘rabbits’ as a visual hallucination. And having so many ‘things’ in my life – things that weren’t even real(!) – just made everything feel cluttered and messy. For a long time, I felt that I had no control over the hallucinations because I didn’t think that they were a product of my own mind…

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION TWO: CHRISTMAS AT WILKO | IN COLLABORATION WITH WILKO | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number two of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

I’m so honoured to be able to say that today’s post is in collaboration with the brand Wilko, who have kindly gifted me the lovely little Christmas Tree I have put up and decorated in the video below! I’ve also included a little gift guide and a look at some of their Christmas decorations!

 

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION ONE: COPING SKILLS

Hello and welcome to recommendation number one in Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

For the very first post in the series, I thought I’d start with maybe the most important subject I’ll be giving recommendations on; coping skills. Initially I planned to go through my favourite Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) skills, but I thought that breaking things down into Christmassy scenarios would be easier to follow and more appropriate for Blogmas…

 

The most stereotypical reason someone can’t sleep around Christmastime is probably because they’re too excited for their plans the following day – whether that be Christmas Day, a Christmas Market, or a Pantomime! I remember growing up that I could barely sleep on Christmas Eve and in a way, it’s gotten worse as I get older because it has meant I’m able to make more Christmassy plans throughout December (and usually November too!).

Other – probably more important – reasons for struggling to sleep at this time of year, can be pretty much all the headings below(!): the various pressures, arguments, feeling triggered… I think that if any of these difficulties are stopping you from sleeping then talking about them might help. Kind of ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ thinking in that talking about what you’re struggling with might feel that a weight is lifted, and you’ve been unburdened. And that stress and pressure you’ve been experiencing could lessen so that you can become more relaxed and calmer – the perfect emotions to promote a healthy sleep.

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | POST ONE: INTRODUCTION

Hello and welcome to the very first post of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

When I first started blogging in 2013, it wasn’t that I didn’t think I’m NOT Disordered had the potential to be what it is today, it was just that I hadn’t considered making it into that! My initial intention with my blog was firstly, to provide myself with a place to vent about the drama of a psychiatric inpatient ward, and to process my thoughts as I began recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder. And secondly, I hoped that in writing about my experiences, my family and friends (my target audience) would gain better insight into what I was going through in the hospital I was in over 100 miles away from them.