ALL THE DIGITAL THINGS GETTING ME THROUGH A MENTAL HEALTH RELAPSE

So, in my last two posts (here and here) I talked about how my mental health has taken a massive nose dive since February, when I relapsed in my recovery. I have been sectioned and admitted to a psychiatric hospital (Lowry Ward - Acute Admission Ward (Newcastle) - CNTW049 - Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust), restrained, given medical treatment against my will, sedated, and put under the care of the two most advanced, specialist teams in my local mental health NHS Trust (CNTW) – the ‘Step Up team’ and the Crisis Team! So, I really wanted to put together a more positive and useful post…

TWENTY OF MY FAVOURITE QUOTES

“What’s broken can be mended, what’s hurt can be healed. No matter how dark it gets, the sun’s guna rise again”

-          Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

“By the time I’m finished, they won’t even know your name”

-          Ke$ha – Pray

“I used to think, what if there was a button; that I could push and, all of the things that’ve complicated my life would just unhappen…?! I would push it and all of the people that shouldn’t have died would still be alive, I wouldn’t have hurt anyone or disappointed them, and no one would’ve hurt me, or lied to me and this whole mess would just be cleared up! But if I push that button; I would be gone too. I’m me because of what has happened, what I’ve done and because of who I love. I like that person. That me. Mess, and all!”

-          Aria Montgomery, Pretty Little Liars

“You’ve got the words to change a nation, but you’re biting your tongue, you’ve spent a life time stuck in silence, afraid you’ll say something wrong, if no one ever hears it how we gunna learn your song?”

-          Emeli Sande – Read All About It (pt 3)

“It never occurred to me that I’d have something to give. A way to contribute.”

-          Liv Moore, iZombie

WHY THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH PRIORITIZING YOURSELF | 10 FEEL-GOOD BUYS | IN COLLABORATION WITH COMFY FOX CO. | AD

https://www.instagram.com/comfyfoxco/

https://www.facebook.com/comfyfoxco/

Originally, this was going to be a Valentines post but there’s now something VERY special planned with Cats Protection (if you’re a cat owner and would like to be involved in the collab, drop me an email or message on any of my social media!) so that’s V Day sorted! So, instead, I decided to use this post as the perfect opportunity to collaborate with another amazing organization; Comfy Fox Co.


I first came across this store a few weeks ago when the owner; Kerene, added me after a friend of my best-friend saw she was struggling with her mental health and told her about I’m NOT Disordered. Firstly, I was honoured that this friend felt my blog was good enough to advise someone check it out; and when I found that Kerene had a shop (Comfy Fox Co.) and saw some of her amazing products, I was even more grateful for the recommendation!

BLOGMAS 2019 – POST ELEVEN : POSITIVE INSTINCT | ETSY COLLABORATION | AD

Thanks to a poll on my Twitter back in November, my wonderful followers decided that I should publish a blog post and film a vlog every day for the entirety of December!

So welcome to December 11th…

Today is all about my collaboration with one very special brand on Etsy, in this post I’ll be reviewing the products they sent to me and on December 23rd you can enter a competition to win these products and the remaining five that I’ll be reviewing every other day this month!

 

So, at first, I had no clue how I was going to write an entire post about a cup and then I realized that maybe I could use the company’s name (Positive Instinct) as inspiration instead! So, I thought I’d talk a little about positivity, how I lost it, how I got it back, and how I maintain it…





I think that after the abuse positivity became very hard to come by because I honestly believe it made me into a different person. I think it’s inevitable that a trauma – of any kind – will change things for you and will have an impact on your personality, your ethics, morals, and all of the little things that make you who you are. I mean, before the abuse started when I was fifteen, I had had a very innocent and sheltered childhood and when you’ve experienced very little adversary in your life, it leaves you feeling pretty positive and trusting of others. So, the abuse was such a shock to the system that it felt as though it completely wiped away my personality and replaced it with an angrier and more negative one. By the time the abuse ended – after six months – I didn’t recognize myself.

FIVE WAYS THE ABUSE HAS CHANGED ME

Oh, so you think you know me now?
Have you forgotten how,
You would make me feel when you drag my spirit down?
But thank you for the pain,
It made my raise my game,
And I'm still rising, I'm still rising, yeah

Jessie J – Who’s Laughing Now

I saw an article on The Mighty about the ways Cancer can change someone and it inspired me to write this post about the ways that abuse has changed me. I know that they’re two completely different subjects, but I think that the message is quite similar: there might be physical elements to mental health and cancer, but they also have huge psychological and – so-called – ‘invisible’ affects. Things that you might never know about unless the person tells you.


I also had a conversation with my new Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) recently and she asked if I’d had any difficulties before the abuse or if I believed that everything stemmed from it. Initially, recognizing that the abuse has changed me in so many ways was difficult, and I tried to pretend that they weren’t such big changes but deep down I knew I was kidding myself! Then I realized that these changes didn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. There had been positive ones too! And I had learnt and grown from the more negative ones!