A POEM TO WISH MY ELDEST (LUNA) A VERY HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY!!!

“I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we’re from the same star.”

Emery Allen

Welcome, Tillie

Tillie, you arrived so small,
With snowy paws and ears so tall.
A little grey nose, soft and sweet,
Like healing sent on velvet feet.

A Q&A ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH BLOGGING & PET BEREAVEMENT | IT’S LAUNCH DAY FOR GRACIE’S WAY!!!

“Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.”

Euripides

So, I won’t lie; I definitely changed my mind a few times on the title and the theme/contents of this blog post, and I even ended up asking Chat GPT for ideas on angles for the piece! From its answers, I though
t perhaps a Q&A would go down well but with it being fairly last minute (I’m writing this a few days before), I figured I’d best just ask AI to think up the questions – plus! It did a really good job thinking of them for this article actually on the Gracie’s Way website: An Interview with Gracie’s Way Project Lead: Aimee Wilson | Gracie's Way! Anyhow, here’s my answers to some of the questions it thought of…

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY LITTLE EVIE!!!

“Sometimes, your pet picks you.”

Julie Wenzel

AN AMAZON UK BUNNY BIRTHDAY WISH LIST | THE ELDEST IS ALMOST FOUR!!

“The kindness one does for one animal may not change the world, but it will change the world of that one animal.”

Unknown

Now, you know that I like to try to disperse light-hearted content on my blog as a means of breaking up the very heavy and emotional posts I typically publish. Of course, this often feels like a waste of time because people likely aren’t coming to, I’m NOT Disordered for this kind of content, and I actually sometimes worry that I’ll lose readers, but from Day One my blog has been about what I benefit from writing about… My eldest pet (I have three – a second bunny and a cat too!) Luna will be FOUR YEARS OLD on October 1^st and so we sat down together (as you do!) and put together a wish list of treats and toys from Amazon UK. We thought we’d share it with you all for any fellow bunnies/bunny owners who are deserving of some lovely bits and pieces too! There are a few absolute bargains in it! Enjoy…

AND THE YEAR 2023 IS COMING TO AN END… | PART TWO

“She remembered who she was, and the game changed.”

Lalah Deliah

*YOU CAN READ PART ONE HERE* 

Pimkie Suede Knee High Boot: £51.00

Embellished Jumper: £40.00

Too Faced Better Than Sex Waterproof Mascara: £13.00

e.l.f Liquid Glitter Eyeshadow: £6.00

Brave Soul Cardigan: £42.00

THE TWO NEW ADDITIONS TO THE FAMILY: GRACIE & RUBY

With my calico rescue cat, Emmy, being put to sleep in October 2022, we started off the year as a family of two with just Luna (my black and white mini-Lionhead lop eared bunny) and I. But when Emmy was put to sleep, I asked the Vet what the best thing would be for Luna and almost without seeming to take the time to think about it, she replied with “get her a friend.” As the weeks went by without Emmy though, I found myself enjoying building a better bond with Luna who had always just spent the majority of her time following Emmy around and had never really been affectionate with me. Without Emmy though, she was now following me around the home (my bunnies are free-roam) and was always stretching up on her back feet to nudge me for a stroke or a cuddle. Then she started taking the cat tunnel in her mouth and running with it in circles; myself and everyone else who either saw when they visited the house or watched my videos of her doing it, laughed and thought it was really cute. But actually; it turned out to have been a form of repetitive behaviour that illustrated boredom and loneliness.

DAY TWO OF BLOGMAS UNBOXED 2023: AN ITEM FOR GRACIE’S 1ST CHRISTMAS, A MENTAL HEALTH MYTH-BUSTING CHAT INSPIRED BY RABBIT HALLUCINATIONS, & A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR LUNA | IN COLLABORATION WITH PHOENIX COVE

PhoenixCove - Etsy UK

https://www.instagram.com/phoenixcove.co/

https://www.facebook.com/phoenixcove.co

https://www.tiktok.com/@phoenixcove.co

Welcome to Blogmas Unboxed!!

So, the first piece I’m going to share with you from the wonderful and talented Cleo from Phoenix Cove – a popular Etsy store – is this cute little decoration marking that this Christmas is the first one for one of my mini-Lionhead bunny’s; Gracie. So, inspired by this item, I thought I’d write a little piece about her, and I’ve created a reel of some of my favourite moments and photos of both her, and my other mini-Lionhead; Luna (who I got one of the wooden letters for)…  

THE LITTLEST IS ONE!!! | HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUNA

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone, whose weirdness is compatible with ours; we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love…”

Robert Fulghum, True Love

It sounds a bit cliché, but right now – on the day my mini-Lionhead bunny turns one year old – I’m stuck between the notion that Luna has been part of our little family forever, and the feeling that I only just brought her home the other day...

THE JOURNEY OF ADDING LUNA TO THE FAMILY

If you’ve been reading, I’m NOT Disordered for a little while, you may know that one type of hallucinations I used to experience were visual, and of rabbits. In 2017, when they became the most constant and distressing, they had been in a long time, I asked a member of staff in Pets at Home if I could hold one of their bunnies. I had it in my head that maybe touching their soft fur and feeling their heartbeat whilst I held them, would better help me to recognise reality and separate that from the slightly blurred and vague notion I seemed to experience when I was hallucinating. And so, out of all the young rabbits, I picked a fluffy, brown Lionhead and I will never ever forget the serenity I felt when I held her against my chest in the middle of the store and started gently (so as not to scare her) crying. Fortunately, I had already asked my Mum to take photos, so she genuinely captured the tears rolling down my cheeks while I hugged the bunny who I had instantly determined to be mine. So, I returned to the store the following day to buy that exact bunny, her hutch, and all the other bits and pieces and I brought her home with the name ‘Pixie.’

THE IMPORTANCE OF PETS AS COMPANIONS | MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK: DAY FIVE | IN COLLABORATION WITH CATS PROTECTION

“We must celebrate our pets because they are truly what love is all about”

Adrienne Posey

Cats aid mental health, shows survey | Cats Protection

Welcome to Day Five of Mental Health Awareness Week, today I’m collaborating with Cats Protection – the UK’s largest cat charity, to bring you this piece on the importance of pets for someone struggling with feelings of loneliness…

It feels as though for as long as I can really remember, I’ve had a pet! First fish, then hamsters, a gerbil, and then Mum and I got our first cat; Saffy (the one that’s all black in the image above) and within years, she began saving my life. Saving me from the loneliness that is abuse.

My abuser found the opportunity to begin hurting me through suggesting he be my port of call when I began having panic attacks after being attacked on my way to school one morning. So, literally from Day One, he seemed to be my only company during the difficult moments. The moments when I couldn’t breathe, and my hands tingled, and my heart felt tired. He was the one sat there with me, passing me a paper bag, rubbing my back, and muttering comforting and reassuring things. It was like I had a broken leg, and he was my walking stick – I was leaning on him in my most sad and painful times. I was vulnerable and needed something that I could rely on because having a panic attack (being convinced that I was about to die, when I really wasn’t) left me uncertain on the reliability of my own body, never mind anyone else in the world!

TWELVE OF THE BEST BUNNY BUYS| MARKING TWELVE MONTHS WITHOUT PIXIE | IN COLLABORATION WITH AMAZON UK

This blog post had the huge potential to be incredibly emotional and overwhelming but having just published two pieces with an abundance of those exact qualities (the one marking fifteen years since the abuse ended and the poem), I thought it would be a bit too much. And that opinion isn’t solely about wanting content that appeals to my readership, it’s also about recognising my own boundaries and tolerance levels. I mean, there’s only so much I can cope with delving into and writing about! So, when Amazon UK asked to do a collaboration, I had the idea to create this more fun and happy post of a little list of items on amazon.co.uk that I think my new bunny (Luna) would want me to recommend...

Wooden Rabbit Hutch: £129.99

This is honestly my dream hutch for Luna! I like that it has the covered area on the top floor because since Luna jumped from my arms and injured her back, she’s become a bit nervous and really likes to spend time somewhere sheltered and private. I also love that it has wheels because half of it would go in the space where my undercounter fridge used to be so to clean it out, it’d be easy to just roll it forwards. Since this is fairly expensive (though I think it’s a good price for the size of it!), I’d definitely recommend checking out all the measurements because the space for Luna’s hutch just isn’t big enough for this – it’s literally the only thing stopping me from getting it! I definitely think it’s worth the price tag though because rabbits can live fairly long (something which first time owners aren’t always aware of), so it’d last a good while.

A POEM FOR PIXIE | ONE YEAR SINCE I LOST MY BUNNY

So, tomorrow will be one year since my lovely Lionhead, Pixie was put to sleep. I decided to do a collaboration piece that was a bit more fun and light-hearted for the actual anniversary (so you've got that to look forward to tomorrow!) but, I couldn't resist doing something a bit deep too...

DEAR PIXIE, | ALMOST ONE YEAR WITHOUT MY BUNNY

‘All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.’

Helen Keller

When I first created, I’m NOT Disordered, a huge motivation to do so was that writing/typing is really beneficial for my mental health. I find it so therapeutic to be able to ‘get out’ a lot of thoughts and feelings that I’ve felt unable to verbalise or internally process. And to be honest, I genuinely believe I’ve lost that over the years, and I’ve slowly began to really prioritise my readers interests and needs. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that exactly – I’m more than aware that I (and my blog) wouldn’t be where we are today if it weren’t for all of you lovely people – but I think it’s equally right to remember why I started this. To ensure that I’m still benefiting from the time and effort that I’m putting into my content. And so, with that in mind, I decided to write a post just for my sake and I thought I’d still publish it to hopefully shed light on just how heart-breaking it is to lose a pet and to provide a level of comfort for those struggling with their grief to know that they aren’t alone…

BUDGET BLOGMAS | DAY SIX: LUNA’S CHRISTMAS WISHLIST | IN COLLABORATION WITH PRETTY PERFECT PRODUCTS | AD

Hello and welcome to I’m NOT Disordered’s Budget Blogmas!

I’ve decided to use today to share Luna’s (my bunny) little Christmas Wishlist…

 

Hanging Bowl: £15.99

Burgess Herby Hearts: £1.99

Activity Toy: £9.26

Large Carrot Cottage: £14.16

Apple Sticks: £7.33

 

 

LIVING WITH LUNA | FOUR WEEKS WITH MY NEW BUNNY | INTRODUCING DIFFERENT PETS | IN COLLABORATION WITH CATS PROTECTION | AD

I’m stuck in the dark, but you’re my flashlight

You’re getting me, getting me through the night

Flashlight – Jessie J

This post includes a gifted item from the brand new Cats Protection clothing. You can buy my t-shirt and browse their other items here: https://catsprotectionclothing.com

 

So, I can’t believe I’ve had my little mini Lionhead, lop-eared bunny; Luna for four weeks now! Having her has been like one of those things where it feels like she’s been here forever; just because that’s how well and how quickly she has settled in… 

When my first bunny, Pixie was put to sleep in April this year, I immediately realised I’d need to make the decision as to whether or not to get another bunny. And that might sound awful that I had just lost Pixie and was already thinking about a new rabbit… but it wasn’t about replacing her in any way at all! 

It was about how having Pixie had provided such a helpful grounding technique when I would hallucinate rabbits. So, in her absence; I had the panic and concern that I wouldn’t be able to cope safely if the hallucinations were to come back (they’ve been gone for over a year now after my antipsychotic medication was increased). But, it also wasn’t even just about me and my mental health. It was also about my cat; Emmy and what the best decision would be for her and, to be fair, I initially put her before my own thoughts and feelings on it.

WHY MY PETS HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT | IN COLLABORATION WITH FLUFFY CREATURES LTD | DISCOUNT CODE INCLUDED | AD

*This piece is in collaboration with the Etsy store: Fluffy Creatures LTD and features photos of their products which weren’t gifted, though there is a discount code below!)*

https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/FluffyCreatureLtd

https://www.instagram.com/fluffycreatureltd/

Discount code (20% off when you spend £10): NOTDISORDERED

So, you may have missed it, but I got a new mini lop lionhead bunny (Luna) on September 1^st (you can read about her arrival here) and it almost felt inevitable – to me – that I created a joint Instagram account for her and my little calico rescue cat; Emmy… 

https://www.instagram.com/big.pawslittle.paws/

A FRESH START

The reason I had to make the decision to even just get Luna was because my previous lop Lionhead bunny; Pixie was put to sleep in April (you can read about her death here).

DEAR LUNA, | INTRODUCING MY NEW BUNNY!!!

“I want so much for you.”

Callie Torres, Greys Anatomy

Dear Luna,

Being a writer/blogger means that I typically find words fairly easily and so it take a lot for me to feel that I can’t find the right ones to get something across. And telling you how loved, wanted, and appreciated you are, is definitely one of those instances!

For – what felt like – a long time after losing my first bunny (Pixie) I believed I had reached the final decision not to get another rabbit. I thought that I had really considered the consequences and possible results if I were to get one, and I felt that having done so, I could conclude that it wouldn’t be a good idea – that the risks I’d have to take in getting a bunny, overwhelmed any possible benefits.

Obviously, all of that has changed! It’s been as though as time has gone by, the house has become more and more empty. As though that missing piece of the jigsaw – the piece shaped like Pixie – was standing out more and more… like a sore thumb! And sometimes it’s hard to say this sort of thing because I don’t, under any circumstances, want it to look as though having Emmy isn’t ‘enough.’ As though she isn’t a good enough part of the home to the point that I would want another pet! Well, that’s not true. Emmy is most definitely a loved, wanted, and appreciated little one, so it’s not a question about that. The thing is about wanting to have a bunny… 

SOME OF THE COMMENTS MADE IN LOSING MY BUNNY | IN LOVING MEMORY OF PIXIE

Wrapped up, so consumed by all this hurt

If you ask me, don’t know where to start

Anger, love, confusion

Roads that go nowhere

I know there’s somewhere better

‘Cause you take me there

Came to you with a broken faith

Gave me more than a hand to hold

Take Me Home – Jess Glynne

 

If you follow my social media accounts, (particularly my Twitter: https://twitter.com/aimes_wilson) this post probably seemed inevitable and just a matter of time before it was written and published! I guess it’s fairly obvious that I find blogging soothing and therapeutic so it’s probably a given that I was going to use it as a coping skill in the death of my beloved lop-eared Lionhead bunny, Pixie.

 

“I said that I had a bad feeling!”

For a long time, my poor mental health meant that I was really out of touch with having accurate and fair instincts around my physical health. I think this largely stemmed from the abuse and how much pain I experienced from it because I found myself cutting myself off from that harsh, painful reality. It meant that once my mental health started to improve through hospitalisation, medication, and therapy, I found that actually; I could be in tune with my body and not fall apart in doing so.

Becoming more aware of my health, also meant that I found myself to develop very good instincts where my pets were concerned too. One key example of this was with Pixie. It was only early afternoon one day a few years ago so Pixie had only really been exhibiting symptoms (no appetite and no passing of poop) for the morning, but I had a bad feeling, so I called the Vets. The Vet was reluctant to give me an appointment for Pixie because she believed she should be given longer at home to check if she really was poorly. I remember telling her that I knew my bunny better than anyone and I knew something was wrong. Fortunately the Vet agreed to do an examination and within five minutes of it, she said it had been very lucky I’d insisted on the check-up because Pixie had Gut Stasis; which can be fatal for rabbits.

HAPPY EASTER WEEKEND

 

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION TEN: PETS, A DISCOUNT CODE, & CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR THEM! | IN COLLABORATION WITH BANDANA BOWTIQUE | AD

Hello and welcome to recommendation number ten in Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I want to do something not completely un-heard of for me; shed light on the importance of pets and ‘recommend’ them and maybe, even some Christmas presents for your furry family members!

Also, very proud to say that this post is in collaboration with Bandana Bowtique who I've had the amazing opportunity to design some Christmassy pet bandanas for! And they've kindly gifted you all a 10% discount code on any of their bandanas!

It’s no secret that I find having my pets (a lop-eared, Lionhead bunny called Pixie, and a calico rescue cat named Emmy) really beneficial to my mental health.

I barely remember the pets I had growing up; they were mostly Syrian hamsters, I had two Russian Dwarf Hamsters too and a gerbil at one point! But I was so young, and my childhood was so idyllic that I can’t recall them ever having some kind of impact on my mental health because I wasn’t really aware of its existence!

The last two pets I had at my Mum’s home were a Fish called Elvis, a Syrian Hamster called Butter, and a black cat called Saffy. While I was in the specialist psychiatric hospital over 100 miles away from home, my loved ones, and my pets; the Hamster and Fish passed away because both animals have a short lifespan. The cat, however, lived for just over twelve years and didn’t pass away until I was in my own home two years after my hospital discharge in 2014.

PIXIE’S THIRD BIRTHDAY

Because even when I was flat broke

You made me feel like a million bucks

Yeah you do

I was made for you

The Story – Sara Ramirez

Since Pixie has been so poorly recently (she had Gut Stasis and was admitted to the Vets for a few nights) I wanted to do a  bit of a light-hearted little post on her and the presents she’d like for her third Birthday which is coming up in July! 

She also has an Amazon Wishlist for any lovely readers who’d like to treat her to a little surprise (you can view it here).


If you aren’t sure who Pixie is and why she’s so special… I got Pixie in 2017 after my hallucinations of rabbits came back. I hadn’t told anyone that I was struggling with them again because I was so scared it’d mean that I was admitted to hospital again or that my medication would be increased, but when I was in Pets At Home with my Mum and saw their cute, fluffy bunnies… Well, I burst into tears(!), told my Mum, and asked the store staff if I could hold one of the rabbits. While I cuddled Pixie and my Mum took photos, I cried and agreed to ring my Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) to tell her what was happening to get help and support for it.