Happy Valentines Day

This post is going to be a bit of a mess, because I couldn't decide what I wanted to do with it. So, here's a bit of everything:
Relationships
I'd say that I haven't had a lot of relationships; the usual 'holding-hands-in-the-playground' kind of thing, the odd flirt with the boys in the year above in High School, and then Ronnie. I'm not going into details about our relationship because it's one of the few things that I regard as private. We were together for three years with half of that being when we were engaged; and the entirety of it being when I was at my most poorly. We became official in January 2009 and I started hearing voices in the June; so he was there from the beginning but strangely, we never really talked about my hallucinations and suicidal tendencies, yet he was still by my side. He would take me to hospital, sit with me in A&E, hold my hand through the needles and visit me when I had been admitted. One memory in particular was when they drilled into my shin bone and it was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. I was holding/crushing his hand the entire time. This did mean that the majority of our time together was spent in waiting rooms, A&E, and visiting rooms. But still, we did fun stuff too: road trips, weekends away, nights out... All of these memories and the fact I have a wedding planner, means Ronnie will always have a little place in my heart. Personally, it is essential that you get yourself out of a relationship when it stops making you happy.

My crushes
The socially acceptable one: Alfie Deyes aka Pointless Blog

And the weird one: Jon Richardson

My girl crush: Zoella aka Zoe Sugg - 

What I look for in a man (all who qualify, please email me! aimeewilson@live.co.uk
Funny, attractive (not too skinny, facial hair, not much taller than me!), romantic, same taste in music, supportive, a cat lover (CRUCIAL!), understanding, brave, protective, kind, comforting, likes horror movies, isn't a party animal, hard worker, passionate, helpful, similar future plans as me (regarding home life etc.), devoted, same age or older, tidy, living nearby

My thoughts on love
Everyone should experience unconditional love at least once in a lifetime. When love hurts you're allowed to be sad for a while, but you have to get back up, dust yourself off and learn from it. Don't give up on love if you have a bad experience of it. Don't pressure yourself into finding love by a certain age. You can love someone (romantically) and the relationship still end. Don't make rules for yourself e.g. "if he cheats it's over," because the circumstances might change such a rule. Don't just take interest in those who are your 'type.' It can hurt, but it's still one of the greatest feelings in the world. If you feel that you don't deserve love (a usual thought in those with mental ill health) then you'll never give yourself the chance to disprove this.

My favourite romantic movies (in no particular order):
1. The Fault In Our Stars - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2582846/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fault-Our-Stars-DVD/dp/B00JLC57OW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1455200871&sr=8-2&keywords=the+fault+in+our+stars
2. If I stay - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1355630/
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Stay-DVD-Chloë-Grace-Moretz/dp/B00N4W4M4Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1455201542&sr=8-2&keywords=If+I+stay
3. Just Married - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0305711/?ref_=nv_sr_2
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Just-Married-DVD-Ashton-Kutcher/dp/B00009WW28/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1455201824&sr=8-4&keywords=just+married
4. Beauty and the Beast - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101414/
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beauty-Beast-DVD-Gary-Trousdale/dp/B00KLC7XZ2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455202092&sr=8-1&keywords=beauty+and+the+beast
5. Remember Me - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1403981/?ref_=nv_sr_3
Buy it: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Remember-Me-DVD-Robert-Pattinson/dp/B003FTABUM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1455202199&sr=8-1&keywords=remember+me

Not in a relationship?
This year, I'll be spending Valentines Day at home with Dolly (my cat). In Hospital, I was taught about using the skill of self-soothing to pick up my mood and just generally make me feel better. So this it what I'll be doing on the 14th. I'm going to do no work; no blogging, no meetings, no events etc. I'm going to have a lie-in, watch tons of YouTube, do some beauty pampering, eat lots of calorie filled goodness, watch a horror and have regular Facebook, Twitter and Instagram refreshing and scrolling sessions.
If you haven't got a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, then that doesn't mean you can't take advantage of the day when we celebrate love. Treat yourself. Do something to make yourself smile. Indulge in guilty pleasures. Be grateful for those in your life that love you and who you love e.g. family and friends.

If you're in need of A LOT of love this Valentines, then check out my post from valentines 2015 

Blogger Privacy

Those who know me, will know that I've followed Zoella (Zoe Sugg) for quite a while (admittedly nothing compared to how long she's been YouTubing/blogging for. I can't even remember why I began following her but it was not long before she became a household name after launching her beauty range. I look up to her for many reasons; the most obvious being the success of her blog/YouTube, but I also admire that she too entered this industry as a total novice and has learnt as she went. Admittedly I do sometimes question whether opportunities are handed to her on a plate, but watching her vlogs you can see how hard she works on both editing her videos and writing her books/attending meetings to plan new products. And so, I fully believe that she and Alfie Deyes (PointlessBlog) have earn their million pound home.
I think that there was a mention of fans finding their home in one of their vlogs but the internet exploded two days ago when Zoe tweeted 'Really starting to lose my patience with people just turning up at our house & peering in or ringing our doorbell 😔 makes me hate my house! 😢' and around the same time, Alfie also tweeted 'Parents who drive their kids to our home & put them on their shoulders so they can lean over our walls to try and take pictures of us without us realising... I see you! I'm on the sofa in my pyjamas relaxing. Go away. If you want to meet me, I'd love that! Come to a meet up just like everyone else who wants to meet me does! You can't just drive to my house & climb our walls, that's really not fair.'
Of course there was a surge of responses with such a variety of opinions. Everyone who expressed their views was immediately jumped on by others who either agreed or disagreed. As I read through some comments I formed my own replies but resisted posting anything at fear of starting drama.
The most popular point of those who weren't on Zoe and Alfie's side, was to say that filming their private lives had made them and famous and so they should've realised what they were getting themselves into. 'Welcome to the famous life. Didn't you see this coming at all?' Zoe and Alfie promtly pointed out (correctly, in my opinion) that in beginning their YouTube channels, they'd never set out to become 'famous' and that even still, that shouldn't mean they should tolerate an invasion of their privacy. I feel that in some ways, I can relate to this. I don't mean to sound big-headed in saying this, but I'm well known in mental health through my blog and if readers started showing up at my little bungalow I'd be mortified. However, I am very grateful that it is almost solely in that area that I'm known so there's little chance someone will stop me at the shops as they regularly do with Alfie and Zoella. But like them, I started my blog to document my recovery for myself to look back on. There are many bloggers out there who begin their blog or YouTube channel in the hope of becoming well known and making some money. Alfie and Zoe were never those people.
One aspect of this entire debate/incident/Twitter war, that I can completely relate to is that people assume that because you do disclose aspects of your life that some may view as private and personal, then you must be sharing everything. Many YouTubers regularly point out that their vlogs are edited and a twenty four hour day is often condensed in under twenty minutes, never mind that they rarely vlog whilst having a bad day.
I think that perhaps discussing my mental health, the abuse I've suffered and feeling suicidal, makes me more vulnerable to this. But the amount of important things going on in my life that I can't discuss is probably unbelievable to readers. And one reason that I never discuss one aspect is that the person involved wants to maintain their privacy. And I respect that. Because I believe it is an individual preference.
Finally, a lot of people are arguing that the two never complain about the money they make but neither do the footballers who are paid ridiculous amounts per match. At the end of the day, no matter how 'perfect' you may deem someone's life to be, they will always have something that they aren't happy with in their life.
No matter tear what your occupation, everyone deserves privacy and to feel safe in their own home.