ELEVEN PRETTY LITTLE LIARS QUOTES TO MAKE YOU LAUGH & CRY

After the popularity of my blog post FIVE GREYS ANATOMY QUOTES I LIVE BY, I decided to write another, similar post when I began watching Pretty Little Liars on Netflix for about the fourth time now.

“Showing up in the same outfit?! That must’ve been awkward!” – Spencer Hastings

“I might seem strong, but I break” – Hanna Marin

“I used to think, what if there was a button; that I could push and, all of the things that’ve complicated my life would just unhappen…?! I would push it and all of the people that shouldn’t have died would still be alive, I wouldn’t have hurt anyone or disappointed them, and no one would’ve hurt me, or lied to me and this whole mess would just be cleared up! But if I push that button; I would be gone too. I’m me because of what has happened, what I’ve done, and because of who I love. I like that person. That me. Mess, and all.” – Aria Montgomery

FIVE WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH DURING A RELATIONSHIP BREAK-UP

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/699606123335968039/

I discussed in my last post that I’d recently gone through a relationship break-up. The relationship lasted nine years and the situation in which it happened have been two huge factors in the level of my distress and upset following the break-up. It’s only been six days and so far, I’ve experienced emotions ranging from grief, frustration, and anger to feeling happy and positive that I can begin a new chapter in my life and find someone much more suitable to my work and my personality. It has been the biggest rollercoaster…

And it’s taking me some time to develop coping strategies and ways to deal with the intense and overwhelming feelings that are flooding my mind and body. So I thought that I’d share what I’ve learnt so far with you guys to help you manage your own mental health during a relationship break-up without it taking negative experiences to learn them.

FIVE GREY'S ANATOMY QUOTES I LIVE BY

All photos are from Pinterest

I recently started re-watching Greys Anatomy with Ronnie (who has never seen it before) and it inspired me to write this post! If you haven't seen Greys Anatomy you can still read the post but I recommend you buy the DVDs!! Hopefully one day soon it'll be on Netflix!

“Knowing is better than wondering. Waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying.”

-      Meredith Grey

People talk about attempting suicide – or self-harming – as ‘the easy way.’ And ‘giving in.’ When instead, it takes everything you have to fight the human instinct to survive. We are not built to hurt ourselves, we’re built to fight. Or flight. Not to ‘give in.’ Personally though, I think it takes a hell of a lot more work to come back from that brink. To wake up and try.

HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY RONNIE | A COLLECTION OF MEMORIES WITH MY FIANCE

Before I get started on this post, you might want to read this post from 2016 where I talk about PDA and my thoughts on talking about my relationship online.

To mark my Fiancé, Ronnie’s, Twenty Ninth (he’s going to kill me for saying that!) Birthday; I figured I’d do a post on all things ‘A&R.”

HOW TO AVOID DRAMA: FAMILY, WORK, HEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & FRIENDS

Photography - R J Photography

drama

ˈdrɑːmə/

noun

noun: drama; plural noun: dramas

1. a play for theatre, radio, or television.

"a gritty urban drama about growing up in Harlem"

2. an exciting, emotional, or unexpected event or circumstance.

"a hostage drama"

It’s an understatement to say that while I was being abused, my behaviour changed dramatically - I think it’s an obvious one though… Keeping abuse a secret can cause a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings; a lot of pent up anger and frustration.

For me, I was angry that no one could see what was going on. How could no one see beyond my actions? My behaviour? It was labelled ‘dramatic.’ I, was labelled a ‘drama queen.’ Since then if anyone has called me that in jest or in banter then I’ve thought straight back to that bullying in High School while I was abused. Back to when I took my anger out on the teachers who were meant to have the authority to stop this sort of thing. On everyone in the one place that is meant to be safe for children and young people.

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH MY FIANCE RONNIE SKELTON, MECHANIC & PHOTOGRAPHER | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off the last part of the series: Day Twelve of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of my fiancé Ronnie Skelton, qualified mechanic and photographer.

1.    When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

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Photography: RJ Photography

In a post not so long ago (PDA or Expressing Love? [WE GOT ENGAGED!!] | Ad) I talked a little about Pasturewood Holidays being the location of Ronnie's proposal, and so I wanted to dedicate an entire piece to this amazing, and special glamping location!

Before Ronnie and I went along (21st-23rd November) I had actually already been to Pasturewood with one of my best friends, Lauren; (you can read all about that trip here!) and it was actually her who got the ball rolling for this trip with Ronnie, when she told me that Pasturewood had an offer on for stays in the 'pods' between set dates. 

I was really excited to go along with Ronnie and to have some time alone. Together.
When I'm with Ronnie, I feel as though we're in our own little bubble - a pink, heart-shaped bubble of love - and that whenever we are, I need to be reminded that other people exist! So the thought of having a few days in that bubble were an absolute dream!

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Photography: RJ Photography

If you don't follow my Twitter or stalk my Instagram or subscribe to the YouTube channel then you might not be aware of my recent relationship changes...

[^^ cheeky little self promotion!]

I've been wanting to write something for/about Ronnie for quite a while, but I was having an internal debate; on the title of this post... I've seen many-a rant on social media about people (usually there's someone in particular that a person is having a sly dig at) who share details of their private life for the world to see. But it seems that there is no code for this. No rule. There's nothing that tells us 'it is ok to speak about your friends but it's not okay to speak about your family.' Or; 'it's ok to talk about your mental health problems, but it's not okay to talk about what has caused it.' Or (more relevantly) 'you can quote funny things your partner says but not those times when they're about their love for you.' You can't have a rule but make exceptions; because then how could it be decided where the line should be drawn?

Ronnie: Talking about our relationship on social media has always been cool with me. There's nothing wrong with letting people know how much you love someone or what you've been up to that day/night; but some things are still kept private too.

I finally came to the conclusion (obviously) that it's a personal decision and I'll post the things that I'm comfortable about telling people - with Ronnie's agreement. And if ever there was a 'perfect moment' to write about our relationship, it would be now.

Because now; there's this pretty sparkling thing on my finger to show the world that we promised each other forever. 

Ronnie has been there from the very beginning. Literally. We met in January 2009 and I took my first overdose that June. I toyed around with the idea of writing about these years (2009-2012) in our relationship but I feel that they're important to help those new to my life to understand the current changes and general 'goings-on!' Also, I realised that my reluctance to write about this time was that I didn't want to 'dwell on the past.' BUT, everything makes us who we are today; and there's a lot of different memories and emotions from those years...

In short, Ronnie held my hand whilst a hole was drilled into my shin bone to administer life-saving treatment, he'd take me to Hospital, or bring me home from Hospital, at the most ridiculous of times, and would sit in A&E with me for hours on end waiting to be seen. I think that those years were not only the hardest, but also the most strengthening of our relationship. As with many of my relationships (friends and family etc) during that time, once I was better, I felt that I had to 'make it up' to the person. An apology. A thank-you. These convictions have all gone after talking it through with Ronnie, and I think that the balance and equality in our relationship now is one of the most amazing qualities to it.

Our many fun and happy moments during 2009-2012 included driving for almost an hour for a McDonald's because we thought that a one further away (than our three nearest ones!) made their burgers much better, creating the inside jokes that I we still say seven years later, the many road trips; with my favourites being to the Lake District, Manchester and to a family wedding (from his side) in Knottingley. And, of course, I can remember all of those key moments:

the first time we met - that only after drunk kisses I was told that the people staring at me across the room were his parents and younger sister!

When we first said 'I love you' whilst driving home and Ultrabeat - Pretty Green Eyes was playing.

When we first danced together at my 18th Birthday Party (February 2009) and Beyoncé - Halo was playing.

Keep an eye out for the next post all about our relationship now and some more photographs from our amazing glamping experience (that Ronnie chose to propose on) with Pasturewood Holidays

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My Halloween-ish Year-By-Year Recovery

*this post would have been so much more apt had I managed to publish it actually on Halloween and not three days later... But I spent so much time on it that I didn't want to just abandon it! So please pretend it's October 31st when you read this!*

As a Blogger, and general Social Media addict, I like to empathise all of the benefits and positives that can come from things like Twitter and Facebook; believing that the majority of the publicity that they do get is negative - usually focusing on online bullying and the use of inappropriate images. With that in mind, I've been using the recently developed 'share memory' function on Facebook A LOT. If you don't use Facebook... the share memory function allows you to see what you posted on your Facebook account on that exact date each previous year right up until you first signed in (2008 for me!).
When I was unwell, this would've been detrimental. If I'd had this feature in 2012 when I was the most unwell, I would have looked back and seen how normal things first were/seemed in 2008 when I had my fresh start at a new school and with new friends. And that would've made me sad because I would be wishing I could go back to then, regretting that I didn't 'appreciate' those days at the time, and thinking of all the things that I would've/could've/should've done differently. Things would be worse to have just looked over the previous three years; I'd have looked at how bad things were in 2009, 2010 and half of 2011 and felt hopeless, being convinced that things would never get better; reminded of just how badly I'd felt in those moments that I posted upset status' and meaningful song lyrics. For the remainder of 2011 (towards the end of the year) I would see my most stable period, and question whether that really was 'stable' if I was going out drinking regularly, and then I'd see the photos from those night-outs where I was laughing and dancing and singing... And happy. And I'd hate myself for turning back to self-harming.
When you think of all that; I guess it makes sense (some might disagree to me using that word) that I was attempting suicide up to three times a week Spring 2012.

And now that we're towards the end of 2016 (8 years with a Facebook account!), and I'm in recovery... Everything looks different...

Halloween-ish 2010

I was in a relationship. I'd been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder for a little over a year and had begun taking medication for my hallucinations. It was because of them, that I was hesitant about going on this night-out and after a couple of hours I wanted to go home.

Also, doesn't Ronnie's costume look SO realistic?! I had such fun watching the shopkeeper show R the 'correct' way to wear his hat and wig.

Halloween-ish 2011

Here, I was at my most 'stable' point in my mental health; having finally began Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) - which is the recommended treatment/therapy for those with BPD. I'm not even sure that I properly recognised this time... Probably because it was more that everyone else was telling me I was stable but I knew the voices were still angry and getting confused that I wasn't  self-harming?'; I just remember thinking that I was being a normal girl. Doing what my friends were doing; drinking, kissing boys, dancing in bars, falling over, uploading millions of photos, laughing, singing, and being that girl who everyone would message to ask if I'm going out that night.

Halloween-ish 2012

There was no Facebook post this year. At this point I had been detained under Section 3 of the Mental Health Act 1983 and a patient in Cygnet Hospital, for about three months. In the talks around planning the admission, I'd been told that I'd still be able to use my laptop at the Hospital because not only would it make communicating with friends and family much easier (the Hospital was almost 200 miles from my home), but it'd also be 'something to do' in an effort to minimise self-harm. Like many things in mental health services, this wasn't the case once I was actually in the Hospital and my only time on a computer was by requesting time on the Hospital one at the weekend. Eventually I had the use of my laptop added to my care plan and after I'm NOT Disordered was born, the staff understood how beneficial it was to me and allowed me to have it even when I was put in an empty room for self-harming in my own.

Halloween-ish 2013

We were having a rare, but much needed, good day on the Hospital ward. With everyone on the ward being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and a key symptom of that being unstable moods (see this blog post from only a few days before this status to see just how unstable it really is); it was inevitable that something negative would happen every day. It varied from the girls getting into huge arguments and physical fights, to witnessing someone being revived by staff and paramedics. But the positive side to it, was that we could feel like we understood one another more than anyone else ever could, and so in times of need we'd know what to say and when to back off. A lot of the time it meant that when a few of the girls were hyper or 'high' (in terns of mood), it became almost infectious and when the staff weren't in a good mood (70% of the time) they were pulling out their hair! Our antics included covering the door signs with more honest names, having food fights, and mattress surfing down the corridors. These moments made the place that little bit more bearable.

Halloween-ish 2014

My best-friend was still the girl who'd lived two bedrooms away from me for almost two years in Hospital. Chelsea had been my 'buddy' (the patient assigned to help you settle in and show you round etc) right from the moment I first got into the Hospital, and in the beginning there was a lot going on for each of us and we were both shy (yes, I was once shy!) so it took a little while before we let our guard down and really started to be friends. Chelsea was discharged from Hospital before me but we were determined to stay in touch and to see each other even after I was discharged and over 200 miles away from her. And we did that. Although we don't talk very often now, she is still in my life and I do still miss our times together.

Halloween-ish 2015

Dolly and I had our first Halloween together in our little home. I was, eventually, discharged from Hospital in December 2014 and Dolly moved in a week later so 2015 was our first Halloween together. As you can see by the grip I have on her, she couldn't have cared less. But I was excited! I was going to throw my first party in my new home so I went all out on the Halloween decorations! In the end, I couldn't be bothered to actually carve my pumpkin so it was just face-painted!

Halloween-ish 2016

It's quite weird how some things seem to have come full circle...!! This year, I'm back with Ronnie except it's now completely different (explanation to come in another post). We'd planned to watch horror movies and carve pumpkins but being the useless, undecisive, couple that we are, we ended up cleaning the house - stopping halfway to sit on the Kitchen floor and have a few drinks, ordered a takeaway and binge-watched House on Netflix. My second favourite moment was when it was about 10pm and Ronnie said 'we're not going to do them pumpkins now are we?" A few minutes later, I'd moved the coffee table, put down a bin bag to cover the floor and Ronnie sat there carving his pumpkin! My favourite moment? These SnapChats! We spent almost 20mins playing around with the filters, and wetting ourselves from laughing with the ones that change your voice! The vlog that'll feature this will be on my YouTube very soon!

What a difference one year can make! I

n 2010 I was too numb to actually feel 'love'.

In 2011 I was being told how well I was doing. I thought that I was finally a 'normal' 20 year old.

In 2012 I was sectioned in a psychiatric hospital with no laptop; and no hope.

In 2013 I was still in hospital but things were getting better, and I was making the best out of a bad situation. 

In 2014 I was almost at the finish line in leaving inpatient services (I was actually on leave for Chelsea coming to Newcastle).

And last year, I was where I'd only dreamt of; in my own home with my own fluffy cat.

This year, I'm head-over-heels in love with the man who was by my side from the beginning...

And this is what I love the most from this Facebook feature: that it helps prove that things can get better. They can change. Those horrible moments will pass. Suffering will end, and the laughter will come. 

Please don't give up when you believe nothing will change.

When really, you have the potential to change everything.

My Best-Friend (the new Mrs Bolam) talks about her new Husband

How did you and Craig first meet? 

Me and Craig first met at work - it was my first day and he was one of the first people I was introduced too! 

What were your first thoughts about him? 

He was so confident, welcoming, warm and smiley! 

Has that changed now? 

Of course not! 

Tell me about your first date. When was it? What did you both do? And how did you feel about Craig afterwards? 

Me and Craig were both in relationships when we first met and became friends through seeing each other once a week at work. We both finished our relationships at around the same time and I was also leaving my job. I said my goodbyes to Craig and he left! 10 minutes later he came back in and said he couldn't leave knowing he might never see me again and took my number! A few weeks later he asked me out on a date and I said no as we were too good of friends by that point! So our first two 'dates' consisted of Craig coming for drinks with me and my mum and then a walk with my dog and little sister. Following the walk we sat on the sofa and put on a film - I fell asleep and woke up half way through the night with Craig sitting fast asleep and Molly cuddled into him! He had Molly's approval at this point! Craig insisted on helping me redecorate my apartment as I was useless and every time he turned up he'd have flowers or my favourite sweets for me! Soon we had booked a holiday to Florida as friends for the following May! We still haven't even kissed at this point and kept on saying 'what if one of us gets in a relationship before then' Craig looked after Molly when I went away to York and I rang him when I was drunk and didn't want to get off the phone - this is the ultimate more than a friend sign! When I came home Molly was looked after and I had flowers and a new look voucher waiting for me on the bench. A few weeks later he looked after Molly when I went on my Christmas night out - Molly didn't leave and within a week, neither did I! So, we didn't really have a first date - it all just happened!

List five things that you both have in common:
1. Our love for the states
2. Our hopes for the future
3. Our drive and commitment
4. Our family values
5. Our outgoing personalities

List three differences between you both:
1. Football and Golf
2. The fact I think he's ginger and he insists he isn't!
3. Age 

Tell me about when you first said 'I love you.' When was it? Where were you? Why did you decide to say it then? Who said it first?
CRAIG IS GOING TO LOVE THIS! Because he claims he can't remember and being a typical girl I won't let him live it down. More so, wind him up about it! It was the night of my Christmas party when Molly unintentionally moved in. I was so drunk and was sitting on his kitchen floor against the door. Extremely romantic it was. Craig said it first.

How far into your relationship did you know you had a future together? 

We got engaged pretty quick really after both being in long relationships in the past. When you know, you know. Cliché. 

When did you decide to live together? And what made you decide to? 

I think I've already covered this! Molly stopped over one night and didn't leave, within a week I had done the same ha ha! Totally unintentional, we just didn't see the point in going to work and coming home to our own houses when we wanted to be with each other, purely because we had spent the last 3 nights together.

What has been the greatest thing about living together? 

One of us always has the other to come home to

What has been the hardest? 

I will spend 20 hours cleaning and tidying then Craig will come home from work and disrupt everything! (Like leave his shoes at the door or crumbs on the bench, like, seriously? 🙄😒) 

Tell me about the proposal. Where was it? Did he go down on one knee? Was it completely unexpected? 

The proposal itself wasn't completely unexpected - but the fact he was going to was! A friend of mine got engaged and we ended up talking about rings really early in our relationship and I described what I would change on hers and have etc just in conversation. Little did I know Craig had made a mental note and had my ring made especially from what I had described! Craig being Craig couldn't keep a secret! He was supposed to propose on our 'friend' holiday in the states and one night before we went out he couldn't help himself but tell me he had something for me and I HAD to try it on incase it didn't fit. It wasn't the proposal, but he couldn't keep it a secret as he was so pleased with himself at how amazing the ring was! As soon as I realised it was a ring I was scared to look incase I didn't like it! We had to cancel our taxi as it took so long for me to pluck up the courage to look! Anyway, it was more than I could ever have DREAMED of and it fit perfectly. He put it away and I was to wait until Florida. We went to our quarterly slaley hall trip and Craig was acting so bizarre! I kept on asking what his problem was on the way down there! Once we got there Craig said he needed the toilet so I raced him to the room so I could get there first just to be awkward. When I came out he was sitting there with the ring. Said he couldn't wait any longer! Totally unexpected!

What was the first aspect of the wedding that you both decided upon? 

We both decided that we wanted to have it abroad after having a big do for the engagement party.

Who made most of the wedding decisions? 

Me, of course. Craig got to choose  the cake over there and he was so proud that he chose the cake and had a part and then hilariously they got back to us and said that they didn't have that design of cake and we had to chose another! So I chose a new cake and he never noticed! 

Did you have any differences of opinion on anything to do with the wedding? 

Yes, but I think it was just Craig trying to be awkward ha ha, he'd make me do everything his way and then my way and end up going 'yeah you were right'. Typical man - I had to do everything twice for it to be the way I had planned in the first place! 

What was your favourite part to plan? 

Taking everyone over to Thailand and knowing we were having a Buddhist style ceremony.

What was the most stressful? 

Everything! Everything went wrong and I mean EVERYTHING! You name it and it's gone wrong and been planned twice (thrice in some cases).

Tell me about your wedding day. Where did you get married? Why did you choose there? How did you feel in the hours before it? How did you feel when you first saw Craig? 

We got married in Thailand and chose there because 1. Craig plans all holidays and I wanted to go there and he would never book it! And 2. I really wanted a Buddhist style ceremony. The intimacy, the meaning, the family involvement, the blessing, the love. It was all just SO us and something to be treasured forever and an experience never to be forgotten for all involved. I was fine in the days, weeks, months leading up. I didn't see it as a big deal at all as nothing was changing, apart from my name, upon our return! With the stress of the whole wedding and things going wrong just the morning of the wedding I ended up having a panic attack about an hour before! I ended up sitting on the toilet with my head between my legs doing breathing exercises with all of the ladies in the family! It was hilarious really. Then everyone left and me, my dad and my bridesmaids were in the hotel room waiting to go down. We heard the long drum parade and the hairs on my whole body stood up and I got serious butterflies as I knew that was Craig being took down!!!!! It was a surreal moment (and it meant I knew he had turned up!!! Woohoo!) I then got took down by the parade of drums and dancers and I was at the top of the stairs and I saw Craig and he burst into tears and it made my heart melt. 

What did you do during the 24 hours after you got married? Did your relationship feel any different? 

We had a champagne breakfast in the room and then my mum and her partner came round to our private pool and we all sat and drank more champagne! We spent time around the main pool with cocktails and then went out into Koh Samui on the evening for food and drinks with the whole family! 

What do you think you and Craig will be doing in five years time? 

God only knows! Our five year plan keeps changing! We (I) wanted children before Craig was 35 but he's 34 in a few months so that is out of the window! We are enjoying our holidays and weekends away far too much still and I want to go full force into my career. We want to move to the states which we are constantly looking into but whether or not we could leave our families for having grandkids is unknown! Let's just wait and see and enjoy it in the mean time! 

If you could sum Craig up in three words, what would they be?
I can't think of three words to sum Craig up, but when I think about him it makes me smile and I think that speaks volumes.

Mental Health Awareness Week: Top Relationships for Stephanie Stevenson-Ward

Note: my VLOG from day three of MHAW is here: https://youtu.be/mkMzkEMthgI

By Stephanie Stevenson Ward, Mum & Uni Student, Twitter: @stephiebean27 

#1

Name: Christopher Ward

Why have you chosen this person? 

Because it’s the one relationship I’m pretty much stuck to for the rest of my life

Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. : 

Estranged, soon to be ex-husband 

How long have you known one another? 

Six years

How did you first meet? 

Online dating – he was persistent and I just backed down eventually and let him take me for dinner.

What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 

He seemed like a nice guy – ticked all the boxes

Has this changed? 

Drastically, yes. Everything he told me, literally everything, was a lie or an exaggeration.

List three highlights from your relationship so far. 

Our wedding day, the birth of our son, and our first holiday together. Crete was a last minute holiday and it was absolutely brilliant. Our wedding, albeit expensive, was wonderful because we were there as a family. Jack was only 8 weeks old and I felt so privileged to have my beautiful boy there for my special day.

Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome? 

We have had many low and difficult moments and the only solution was to separate. So, we did. Best thing we ever did for each other.

Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 

Countless. Mainly regarding parenting. I find him negligent and nonchalant. He probably thinks I’m overbearing.

List three things you have in common. 

Jack, Jack, Jack. He is the father of my child, but that is where the similarities end.

Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person? 

Receiving the Decree Absolute!

Describe this person with one word. 

Necessary.

Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person. 

When I ask you do to something regarding Jack, it is because I hold his best interests at heart, not because I want to chastise you.

#2

Name: John ‘Jack’ Ellison

Why have you chosen this person? 

Because he is one of the integral parts of my support network

Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. : 

Grandad 

How long have you known one another? 

Since I was born, 25 years

How did you first meet?

I was luck enough to be born related to this wonderful man

What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 

Apparently I would only go to him as a baby, so I’m guessing I thought he was fairly awesome.

Has this changed? 

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised just how amazing he really is. My grandma was the rock in my family and only recently have I realised my grandad’s true strength since we lost her.

List three highlights from your relationship so far. 

When he gave me away at my wedding – he shared the duty with my stepdad and I know he was just so proud. He also was incredibly proud when I named my little man after him. But the highlight of the relationship for me was after we lost grandma and I heard him bragging to a family member about how proud he was of me for caring for grandma at the hospital. I didn’t even think it was anything special but he did.

Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome? 

Grandad has a firey temper but I learned from grandma – ignore him and agree if necessary.

Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 

Yes. He doesn’t really understand my son’s special needs and thinks I’m lazy when it comes to potty training, getting him talking etc.

List three things you have in common. 

We are family, we both suck at the letters game on Countdown, and we are both ambitious.

Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person? 

Jack’s 4th birthday party in grandad’s garden

Describe this person with one word. 

Supportive

Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person. 

I am sorry I didn’t visit more when Grandma was alive, but I will make it up to you now in any way I can.

#3

Name: Alexis Watson

Why have you chosen this person? 

Because right now she has become one of the main spokes in my wheel of support.

Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. : 

Friend 

How long have you known one another? 

About a year

How did you first meet? 

In the Blyth and Tyne. Alexis approached me with a tray of shots and fed me one.

What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 

"This girl brings shots. I like her!”

Has this changed? 

I’ve since found out what a kind, selfless, wonderful person she is. She literally does everything she can for others, in spite of her own needs.

List three highlights from your relationship so far. 

Rebecca’s birthday party in the garden – we planned it and it was just a beautiful event spoiling someone who couldn’t enjoy a night out with the rest of us. Another highlight was during my grandma’s death. Alexis knew I wouldn’t sleep, so she said I should have a little nap on her sofa. I woke the next day. She had taken Jack to bed and tucked me in on the couch. I don’t know if this next one counts as a highlight, but I love that we have our ‘hangover days’ in fat pants eating pizza. They are simple but amazing.

Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome? 

No, not really.

Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 

We parent COMPLETELY differently. I’m quite overbearing and freak over Jack’s health because he has been quite poorly since birth. Alexis thinks I’m a hypochondriac!

List three things you have in common. 

We both have amazing three year olds, we are both obsessed with making our homes nice, despite the fact the kids destroy at a faster rate, and we both have a problem with wine (2 hands and only one mouth).

Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person? 

Summer with the kids

Describe this person with one word. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person.

I will replace the Strongbow I nicked on Tuesday when I got to yours before you!

#4

Name: Jack Ward

Why have you chosen this person? 

Because I created this human using my body.

Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. :  

Son

How long have you known one another? 

Three years, nine months, three weeks, and one day at the time of writing this sentence.

How did you first meet? 

A surgeon cut him from my tummy, passed him to a midwife who wrapped him up, and popped him on my chest.

What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 

He was beautiful, he smelled good, and he was a boy. It was love at first sight.

Has this changed? 

He is still beautiful and male, but sometimes he smells very very bad. But I still love him. 

List three highlights from your relationship so far. 

The day he was born will stick with me forever. As will the first time he laughed hysterically at 17 weeks old. And the way he tells me he loves me all the time.

Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome? 

Yes. Jack has complex additional needs. Speech delay, various other delays – hes basically two years behind. And sometimes, just for fun, he stops breathing. This has been incredibly frustrating and at times even harrowing for me. He has had me cry as many tears of sorrow as he has of joy. But I feel we have just worked hard at these things (me more than him) and we get through.

Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 

Yes! On what we should eat, mainly. He thinks crisps are OK for breakfast. Oh and we forever disagree on suitable bedtimes, and whether the iPad should be allowed in bed

List three things you have in common. 

We have the same love for Disney movies, we both love each other, and we are both total chatterboxes. 

Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person? 

Seeing him grow up into the young man I know he will become – the talented, ambitious man he already is deep inside.

Describe this person with one word. 

Beautiful

Write one sentence of something you would like to say to this person. 

I love you now, I always will, and if you ever kill someone, I’ll be the one to help you hide the body!

#5

Name: Helen Belshaw

Why have you chosen this person? 

Because I know that she has my back on everything, even if she disagrees with me.

Your relationship e.g. Mum, Cousin, friend, partner etc. : 

Childminder turned friend 

How long have you known one another? 

Just over two years

How did you first meet? 

We were having a few drinks with a mutual friend and she was there. She mentioned she was a childminder. And months later my circumstances changed and I needed a new one. And….she had a space!

What was your first thought/opinion on this person? 

She seemed like the kind of person I would like to be friends with.

Has this changed? 

No, I still love her just as much, if not more!

List three highlights from your relationship so far. All the ‘firsts’ we have witnessed together, the times she has come through and helped me out when nobody else has, and although its not just a highlight – the comfort I get from knowing she loves my son and parents him my way.

Has there been any low or difficult moments in your relationship? If yes, how have these been overcome? 

It was neither of our faults, but a jobsworth health visitor made allegations against me, and lied saying Helen had raised the concerns. I knew it wasn’t true but it really upset us both. But we were able to talk and sort it.

Do you have any differences of opinion, views or beliefs? If yes, what are they? 

Nah, she has my back!

List three things you have in common. 

We are both mothers, we both love Jack, and we parent in similar ways 

Is there anything you're looking forward to with this person? 

Coffee next week!

Describe this person with one word. UniqueWrite one sentence of something you would like to say to this person . 

Thank you for being a second mother to my precious boy.